Ok - Let's hear your best ideas of 'What you would never hear Ardeth Bay say. funny, serious, sarcastic, whatever. Send 'em in and I'll post them. ['Stuff You'd Never Hear . . .', pg. 2] [What's New] [Articles] [Pictures] [Fan Musings Main] [Biography] [Filmography] [Webrings] [Links] [Trivia] [Home] [Email Me!] (to Evie): Oh my gosh gurl! Who does your hair, and I love your nails! Could you give me a manicure, ya know I I'm looking for something French.... ~Rachel R~ Looking in the mirror with a washrag in his hand; "Damn-it! No matter how hard I scrub, these stupid things STILL don't come off!!!" ~Jenny~ Holding a bottle of Pantene Shampoo in one hand and twirling a lock of dark hair around his finger. "It won't happen overnight, but it will happen." To one of the Anubis Warriors. "Spank me, I've been a very naughty boy." Anastasia Here feeshy, feeshy, feeshy. (Deuce Bigalow) Where's the beef? Hey! Even the dead guy has a babe. When is it my turn? blondennxs "Cool." "Woah, Imhotep, lookin hot! *sss*" "Hey, where's the t.v.? It's time for Rosie! And I already missed my soap! DARN IT!" Adornato2 (If you have seen American Pie, you'll get this one!) "And this one time, at band camp..." (From TMR) Ardeth (to Rick)- If I were to say to you, I am a stranger traveling from the East seeking that which is lost . . . Rick (to Ardeth)- Then I would say to you I am a stranger traveling from the West, it is I whom you seek. Ardeth- We must be calling the same psychic hotline! "Here's a story, of a man named Brady, who was busy with 3 boys of his own...." (You'd also never hear him say "Far Out" or "Groovy") "I can't believe its not butter!" (on his knees deep in prayer) "And so Allah, I thank you for all your many blessings....and well, not to nag, but if its not too much trouble, could we get some female MedJai, if you catch my drift..." (Standing in front of Evie, Rick, Jonathon and Izzy as they sit around the camp fire) "Well Izzy won the immunity idol, and so by a vote of 2 to 1, Evie please bring me your torch, the tribe has spoken" {Its from Survivor for those of you not familiar with the show.} "You are the weakest link, GOODBYE!" (Cursing and muttering to himself as he walks through the desert) "Whose brilliant idea was it to make MedJai robes out of black cloth? Don't they know black attracts the sun? Not smart to wear black in the middle of the desert! Couldn't we have some nice pastels?" "Would you like fries with that?" "Evie, is that a perm? GIRLFRIEND, you must tell me who does your hair!!!" PHCats "Hey! Where's the cream filling?....Hostess..that's the stuff!" "Aah...the power of cheese." "Today on Oprah..." Sam F. (Ardeth, intense as ever- and on horseback:) "Leave this place or die." (He moves to ride off majestically, but the horse won't budge.) "Really, I mean it..." Kari Why can't you people ever keep your feet on the ground? I am scared of hights! Gee, Imhoteb and i have a lot in commun, we both are scared of cats! Anyways, LETS KILL THIS IMMORTAL CREATURE! Tamara "Where are my cookies?!!!" (In a whiney little kid voice) "Riiiick!! I can't climb up onto the horse by myself!! Help me!" "Wait a sec...could i be in a...*gasps* desert?! What the hell am i doing here?! I burn too easily and I hate having the sand in my hair! Yuck! And the unbearble heat!!!" "Horus wanna cracker?!" Sam F. (Holding onto his sword like a trophy) "Can you believe this can cut throw carrots, concrete, and a grown man's cranium? Wow!" "Gee.......I wonder where I can put another tattoo.....? Hmmm....... Maybe I'll get a skull and cross bones? Or better yet, a pretty little butterfly!" "Dang! Where in the dunes of Egypt did I leave my trusty steed? And he was a rental, too! CRAP!" (Prancing over the dunes to camp like a sissy ...) "Ooo...oooo......HOT HOT! Oh maaaan I knew I shouldn't have worn sandals with all this burning hot sand around. But they make my tootsies look so cute! Ouwww.....hot!" "Hey, Evie? Do you, by any chance, have some nice, rich, moisturizing cream? This sun is just reeking havoc on my skin. Why, just look at these pores!" "Hey, Evie. Guess what........I'm not wearing any underwear beneath all these robes. If ya knnnooowww what I mean...?" Evie- "Uhh.....that's....de..sturb..ing. I think I'll go talk to Rick now. You know? My husband?" Ardeth- " Damn! Another one runs away. Sssiiigggghhhh........." "Oh Fooie! I just burnt my soufflé. Well, this just won't due for the dinner party. I'll have to run straight to the store!" "Hey! Looky what I found, Rick. It's a cute li'le pigmy. Aawwhhh....!!! He's trying to bite me. Isn't that adorable!?!?" ~Vidya Fahgettaboutit!!! When I bite into a York's Peppermint Patti, I feel a cool breeze blowing thru my hair.... COWABUNGA!!!!! ~Deb S. Save the girl, kill the creature, and get me some popcorn. ~Charmayne B. (twirling his hair) I feel pretty! Let's talk about girls! I think Imhotep has a sexy walk. Where can I get some gold body paint? I have a secret passion for My Little Ponies ~Dana To Rick: "Did u see Imohtep's bald head?" Rick: "Yeah, so?" Ardeth: "You think I could pull that off? Cause you know, being in the desert, with this kinda hair....it's just not working for me...the combing, the brushing, conditioning...Med-Jai's don't have time for that sort of thing." "What the hell are these scary beetles? No one told me about these beetles! Rick! Did u know there were going to be beetles? Anyone have any Raid or beetle motels? Do they even make those? Damn bugs!" ~ Siana H. These gems are from PHCats24 !!! "I think we should all just chill" (Addressing his fellow long haired Med-Jai) "You simply twist the Topsy Tail device like so and TAADAA! Topsy Tail, the new desert style!" (Borrowed from the movie "Notting Hill") "James Bond doesn't have to put up with this sh*t!!" (After Imhotep awakens, turning to Evie and Rick he says) "I think I'll sit this one out, you two have fun though!" (As they are walking through the pyramid in "The Mummy" he walks behind Johnathan and Rick singing) "If I could turn back time...." "Y'all come back now, ya hear??" Rick: "Thank you." Ardeth: "No sweat, I did it all for the nookie." "So, I'm thinking I should change my name to one of those unpronouncable symbols, and then you guys can just refer to me as the Med-jai formerly known as Ardeth" "I wonder if Imhotep could resurrect a girl for me?" {The next few you have to have seen TMR to get} (Rick asks if they have dug up Imhotep again and Ardeth says yes.) Jonathan: I hate to point fingers, but isn't it your job to make sure that doesn't happen? Ardeth: Don't blame me! Where the hell are all the rest of the Med-Jai? (At the very end as the derigible flies off into the sunset as Ardeth sits below in the middle of the former oasis alone.) "Hey, where the hell are you going? I don't love flying, but its hot, I don't want to ride this horse all the way back....I don't even know how to get back! Come on guys! Guys!! Guys??!! DAMN!" from Tina Rick: "Oh no! Not these guys again!!" (Refering to Imhotep's soldier mummies) Ardeth: "You handle them Rick! I am getting too old for this!" "I need a vacation! Guarding tombs is a very tiring job". Ardeth to Imhotep: "You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours." "I need a new tattoo." . . . and again, from Debs Rick and Evi have just informed Ardeth that they've released Imhotep again: "You did WHAT?!? I am outta here!!!" On Izzy's dirigible: "I think I'm going to get sick..." (in the middle of the Sahara) "How far to the nearest Orange Julius? I'm parched..." Gracie D. 1. How about a plane ride? 2. How about a bus ride? 3. Read any book around here you want? -Jess "Where did I park my horse?!" "Damn, I'm having another bad hair day again!" "Okay, if we let Imhotep live, just think how much back taxes he's going to have to pay." "I knew I should have taken the left turn at Albuquerque." - Sandra "Ow! Ow! Ow! Man, I hate papercuts!" "Honey, where's the NeoSporin?" "Hey, this isn't Perrier!" "Do these robes make me look fat?" "Who farted?" --Val from April S. - "So a priest, a rabbi and a parrot walk into this bar..." "Imo..Imostep..what the hells this guy's name?" (The following will only make sense if you've seen The Mummy Returns): Looking battle weary and beaten, Ardeth Bay and his army Med Jai warriors stop to catch their breath after fighting and defeating the Army of Anubis...or so they thought. What's that dark shape forming over the sand dune? Oh, Allah save us! A million more jackal soldiers of Anubis are coming towards the exhausted Med Jai! Ardeth Bay, leader to these mighty, skilled and fierce men looks to one side and down the other, of the row of panting Med Jai. He raises his sword high in the air and taking a deep, soulful breath he yells for all of Egypt to hear..."Screw this! Let's go home." from Debbie E. - 1) "So, fellow Med-Jai, how do you think I would look in a "buzz cut?" 2) "Okay, that's it these heels have got to go, I'm off to Payless to get a nice pair of Egyptian sandals so my toes can finally breath!!" 3) "Yeah, I love to fly....and it shows! Not" from Joana V. "Ayyyyy!! Imhotep, my man! how you doin?" Rick comes running out of a cave. "Ardeth!! I...I...I just woke a mummy!!!! It was coming after me but I shot it to slow it down... Man you gotta come!!!!" Ardeth answers: "No stress. You shot it didn't you?" "But.." "Na! No worry! Let's go and grab a bite." Ardeth goes to London, gets in a bus. Looks around. Gets bored. "Ahh....this is no fun...." *note* this will only click if you've already seen 'The Mummy Returns' . . . from Debs (aka PaoloMaldini_fan) First thing that comes to mind is that you'd never hear Ardeth Bay say "...oops...." Then some other trite things like: "Man, is it HOT out here!" "What was the score from last night's game?" "Where's the TV remote, honey?" (Can you picture this?) "Deuce Bigalow . . . I know Deuce." - by Webmistress TopazSkye ['Stuff You'd Never Hear . . .', pg. 2] [What's New] [Articles] [Pictures] [Fan Musings Main] [Biography] [Filmography] [Webrings] [Links] [Trivia] [Home] [Email Me!]