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March 29, 2004
EAP Entertainment: Lil Scrappy/Trillville ft. Lil Jon - "Get On My Level"
"I bring you EAP greetings for the last time. It's been a great ride." - T_Piddy, Oct 19, 2003
I'm a liar. A bold-face liar. But guess what - I'm over it. I miss these things and I'll quite possibly do them forever, at least in some form or fashion. Yeah, I know. It hasn't been six months, but those of you reading this know I'm impatient. To those of ya'll that read the last RAW column and got the reference I tossed in at the end, kudos to you. If not, I hear that Boondock Saints is a great movie. Just don't play drinking games to it. Those wind up being really bad in the end. Anywhoo, before I drive a stake through the heart of those columns, there are a few things I want to go back to. They're slightly modified from their original forms (not like any of ya'll read those things anyways - which was my intention), but I think they're appropriate to use again. Anyways, on with the show.
"Though you swear that you are true, I'd still pick my friends over you." - A New Found Glory
I've noticed something. I swear your friends have radar. Its almost as if they can tell what's good for you and what's not. Why? Because they're not blinded by emotion. I think in my 4 years here I've only seen a group of friends be wrong maybe twice. Now the question is what happened those two times? Depends on who you ask. The friends were either right and the person at fault was a retard or the person making the "brilliant" decision was right and now the advice from their people has to be taken with a grain of salt. Well that's an interesting situation to be in, now ain't it?
"You know all the right people. You play all the right games." - Everclear
If you keep trying to be everything to everyone, its gonna catch up with you. For every group that you try to appease, you're just gonna upset another. Very rare is it that you make everyone happy. So what do you do? Make a decision. And this decision shouldn't be based of fun times and happy feelings. I say turn toward those who know you. Those who've seen you at your best and have been there at your worst.
[climbs on soapbox]
And before I proceed any further, just something I wanna launch off my chest. Now I'm not gonna say people shouldn't talk about people. Hell, we all do it. But at least be smart enough not to do it in front of people who are close to the person you're talking about. That's just not bright at all. I love how my presence (or in this case, lack thereof) at certain functions is questioned then reasoned out with the most illogical of thinking. Certain people don't stop me from going places or doing things - but a rough week will. Next time someone wonders where I'm at or why I'm not somewhere, instead guessing my reasoning how about ask me. Not like my cell phone number isn't sitting in my profile. You've got questions, I've got answers.
[gets off soapbox]
"I'm addicted to you, but you know that you're toxic." - Britney Spears
As most of you know, I'm a huge Britney fan. I don't have posters of her or anything, but I'll openly say I like her songs. I know the words to them and have no reserves about dancing to them in public. Well, depending on how much I've had to drink. Anyways, her new "Toxic" video might be her best yet. Yes, even better than "Oops, I Did It Again." I mean, this video has it all. First off, she does that little circular motion around her breasts in that little Martian suit. Then there's Britney as a redhead (mmmm) doing her best Tomb Raider impersonation around some lasers. Then there's Britney as a brunette (hot. damn.) doing the whole Batman thing. Then there's blonde Britney (eh) in the see-through bodysuit w/ glitter all over it. Yeah, I nut myself the first time I saw that. Give her a VMA right now.
"Yeah she might be blonde, but she's not down there (down where?)" - Skasmopolitian
And yes I said 'eh' to blonde Britney. She's hot as a blonde, but she's so much more tasty as a brunette. And most of ya'll know I'm not a big fan of blondes (well, most of the time). There's probably a whopping five or so that I've ever even found attractive. But since I am a fan of lists, I'll list my favorite blondes ever here:
4) Julia Stiles - I really want to marry this girl. She's so damn cute. I don't care if she has a big forehead and no real boobs. She's gorgeous. Now before you go, "well why is she #4?" Well you can't be at the top of the list when you cut your hair. I like my women with their hair long and their hair down. Not one or the other. Hopefully she comes to her senses and grows back those pretty locks.
3) Britney Spears - The girl's hot. No questions asked. Reason she's a little low is because I can't really find any flaws with her. She's almost too perfect. If you're perfect, then something's wrong.
2) Jewel - Oh she's hot too. But unlike Brit (and like Ms. Stiles) she has a flaw. Her grill is just oh so slightly messed up. And I like that. Things like that give you character. Those two midgets she's carrying under her sweater don't hurt her either.
1) Shakira - Technically, she shouldn't be on this list, let alone number 1. She's not a 'natural' blonde. But do I care? With hips like that, HELL NO. Plus she's Hispanic and can actually speak Spanish. That might be the sexiest thing ever. Kel and Melissa each did a GREAT job getting me Shakira for my b-day/Christmas, but I seriously believe that I'd pass out if I ever got to touch the real thing.
If you tell someone to call you something long enough, they'll eventually start doing so. Michael Jackson, "King of Pop" - yeah that was his idea. Ditto for Howard Stern being "King of All Media." Rocky Maivia coming out on RAW saying "You people will call me "The Rock," yeah, we all smell what he's cooking. Me deciding to call myself T_Piddy just to prove this point...well it doesn't work 100% of the time, but it works more times than not. It's not a foreign nickname to anyone who knows me.
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