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September 15, 2001

I'm gonna take a little break from the usual EAP deal. I'm gonna swing it full circle for a spell. If you weren't around for my first EAP, I'm basically just gonna spew emotions rather than random thoughts….

"Your head will collapse, but there's nothing in it. And you'll ask yourself...where is my mind?"

- The Pixies

Well, this last week is one I'm sure most of us will remember forever. The images, the sounds, the feelings. Its kinda hard to shake. It all feels like one big dream the country can't wake up from. I don't even know what I feel about this whole ordeal. I do feel the pain of all these families and my sympathies and condolences go out to them.

This event has changed the face of everything. Everything seems sow drab now. Its like the whole country has been put on hold. Sports, movies, going out , stocks, classes, etc. etc. Up at Clemson, it seems like one big ghost town, cept with people there. Everywhere you go, there's a TV turned on to some news channel with tons of people around it….in complete silence. In Sirrine, in the Student Center, in the dining hall, in the library….complete silence. Its eerie.

I don't know about ya'll, but I've pretty much had my share of Tom Brokaw and Dan Rather. I understand the magnitude of what happened, but a Nation as a whole should not shut down for an entire week. It's depressing. I've been watching the Cartoon Network and the Cosby show as of late. Since everything was pretty much cancelled, I skipped town this weekend to come see my grandfather and to hang out w/ my family. I'm pretty sure w/ all of them around, too much news won't get watched.

One last note. Under all this media hoopla and what not, the World Wrestling Federation performed what President George W. Bush asked them to. Move on. Try to get back to normal. Now before you go, they're only in it for the money, know the facts. Instead of taping Smackdown! On Tuesday, it was moved up to Thursday. Anyone who wanted a refund could have gotten one. There was no storyline involved. And the whole show was done in the same manner as the 1999 Owen Hart Memorial RAW. Very classy move by the World Wrestling Federation. Major League Baseball gets props too for wanting to get back on board by Friday, but staying dormant due to the NCAA Div. 1-A and NFL taking the week off.

Goodbye Ada, my trusted friend. We've known each other since we were nine or ten. Together we climbed hills and trees, learned of love and ABC's, skinned our hearts and skinned our knees . - Modified from "Seasons in the Sun" by Terry Jacks

These could have been my grandfather's last words to my grandmother before he passed. He died Friday morning. We're all gonna miss him. He was great for so many reasons. He didn't talk much...and if you know my mom and grandmother, you'd know why. They do enough talking for everyone. When he did talk, you were pretty much guaranteed to learn something. I remember him telling me about how Clemson used to be the big school for the Whites. Only the rich white folks got to get in there. I think it made him pretty proud once I got there. He didn't ever say no. He did lots of stuff for me that even I didn't want to do….like drive me to Lakewood on those cold December mornings before I got my license. While I'm gonna miss him, I don't anyone will more than my grandmother. She's known the man since she was 9. That's a good 58 years. I was talking to my mom about why she was so sad last night. My mom said, "she's gonna be sad for a while, she just lost her playmate." That's pretty deep…. While it still stings a little that he's gone, I can get some comfort in all this. He gets to do all the stuff in Heaven that he got fussed at for doing here. ;-) He can cut the grass 4 out of 7 days a week on his lil ridin' mower. He can watch all the baseball games he wants :-) He gets to fix stuff all the time with the bestest tools. He can play Solitaire all he wants. He can help termatas and rootabeggas grow with his ultra powerful green thumb. Lots of things he gets to do now……have fun PaPa.

"In the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here" - Sarah McLachlan

"but I do do feel that I do do will miss you much." - Amelia

R.I.P. - Harold Moses