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October 10 - 25, 2004
EAP Entertainment: Ivan Van Dahl ft Marsha - "Castles in the Sky" (DDRMAX2 shortened version)
Couldn't think of a song quote…so just d/l Journey's "Don't Stop Believing." Good cheesy song.
I'm amazed at how many of us have moved back home. It's damn near staggering. Some of us live in the homes they grew up with, others with aunts and uncles, some with grandparents, but all in all, it's still home. While its nice in that there's very little, if any, rent to pay and your real family is always near, there are some things that really make you contemplate getting off your ass and moving out. Namely, alcohol consumption. I mean while there's nothing that'll make you think twice about drinking a good cold beer after a hard day of class when you're living on campus, trying to drink same said beer after a day of work while your family is getting ready for work and school really makes you look like an alcoholic. *shrugs* Ah well, bottoms up.
"I wanna be the one to walk in the sun, oh girls, they just wanna have fun." - Cyndi Lauper
Ya know what's funny, even after college you can still pick out sorority girls. The other day in my travels to Sumter County's finest attraction (aka, the new Super Wal-Mart), I was walking through the frozen food section when I came across this lady pushing a shopping cart w/ a baby in it. She looked like she was no older than 28, 30 at max. She was a little thick, presumably from just having a baby, but she still had a really pretty face. In my quick glances at her, my only thought was, "This lady looks like someone who you'd see on campus and your friends would go, "yep, that's the ho that sucked Tom's dick at the Tri-Delt party last night." Anyways, paying my vulgar mind no attention, I went ahead and walked on the other side of this lady to get to the Swanson's TV dinners. While walking around her, I noticed she had some writing on her the back of her shirt. There was some gibberish up top, a few Gamecock logos in the middle, but the very last line sealed the deal: "I Survived The 1995 Zeta Tau Alpha Crush Party!!!" Well I'll be, I guess you can turn a ho into a housewife.
"There's things on this field that you just can't change - E A Sports. It's in the game." - Ludacris
Am I the only one who sees Electronic Arts' sports division (EA Sports) new marketing ploy for what it really is? Okay, this whole "Buy 2 EA Sports games, get 1 free" is a nice way to say "thanks" to the gamers that made them successful, but being realistic for a moment - they're just clearing out their warehouse. We all know that the people who buy NCAA Football 20XX will most likely buy Madden Football 20XX. Ditto for the March Madness and NBA Live series. There's a cult following for the Tiger Woods PGA Tour games, so they have their fans. Those five games will sell no matter what. The rest of EA's catalog is pretty much worthless and they've got to get rid of them somehow. FIFA Soccer? Who has ever met a person that actually owns a copy of this game? I'm shocked that this series made it out of the SEGA Genesis era. NASCAR Chase for the Cup? Unlike the rest of the EA Sports lemmings, NASCAR fans are smart (that's a phrase you won't hear too often). They bought the version that came out in 2002 and are content with that. And this year's biggest offender - NHL 2005. Someone forgot to tell EA that there's not going to be a hockey season this year. Giving it away for free was probably the best way to get rid of it.
Since it's become damn near a staple of these columns, here is this month's rendition of Tales From The Strip Club - cues up Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me."
Stripper (who's sitting on my lap): Yeah, this place is great. I really like working here.
T_Piddy: That's cool. Where were you at before? (yeah, like any other woman you have to feign interest sometimes just to get them to shut up)
Stripper: Heartbreakers, but they fired me from there
Big Game James: HEARTBREAKERS!?!?! That place is a dump. How'd you manage to get fired from there?
Stripper: They found out I was selling coke. Hey, I made more doing that than dancing.
T_Piddy: Ah… Well, I guess you gotta do… what you gotta do… *worriedlook*
(Terence: Get this ho off my lap NOW!!!)
Apparently music in Strip Clubs comes from only four genres…
1) Music that would be perfect on a "Best of the 80s: Rock Version" CD - Van Halen's "Hot For Teacher," Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me," Bon Jovi's "You Give Love A Bad Name."
2) Music that has been on BET:uncut - Nelly's "Tip Drill," Ludacris' "Pussy Poppin," Juvenile's "Back That Ass Up."
3) Music that you could hear at a rave or in any version of DDR (including DisneyMix) - "Dark Black Forest," "Sandstorm," "Castles in the Sky," "Night of Fire," "Blood is Pumping."
4) Metallica
On a personal note, that third genre has seriously just ruined some of my favorite DDR songs. I used to like dancing to "Castles in the Sky" on my 3x3 dance mat. Now every time I hear it all I want to do is spin around on a pole while dancing provocatively as strobe lights randomly go off.
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