Extended AIM Profile

June 2-24, 2004

EAP Entertainment: Trillville ft. Pastor Troy - "Get Some Crunk In Yo System"

And so we come full circle. Around this time four years ago I sat down at this computer and wrote the first EAP. It was pretty pathetic. Given birth to only because of a female, yet so thinly veiled only she knew I was talking about her. In between then and now I've met a lot of people and done a lot of things. One of which was graduating. But since I've already talked about that in 2 RAW columns, let's move on to other things. Like the real world or something. Considering I haven't written a real EAP since early April or something, this might get long.

Real World Randomness

"My snake skin shoes gonna change into gators, my library cards gonna change into credit cards" - Deion Sanders

Life sure changes when you have money. Now my family has always had money to live comfortably on. It was just that very rarely did I have a red cent to my name. Now that I have some dough, I question which time was better. I mean now I can take my friends out like I always wanted to - but yeah, we're all scattered about. I can buy stupid things, but we all know I'm the most frugal person around. I can date more now, but after quickly remembering how expensive it can be to take a girl out and do her well, that doesn't go well with my frugal approach. Money in the bank is good and all, but it'd be nice if I could do something with it.

"Be prepared for the coup of the century. Be prepared for the murkiest scam." - Scar

Now that I'm working in a business, it's like being in my home environment. I work best when in an environment when I can manipulate things to fall in my favor. (I chose not to take that route (too often) at Clemson, it wasn't really necessary.) Piddy has no issues with taking advantage of someone or something as long as the end result is positive. Now my "other half," well he has issues with that sometimes. He doesn't like the whole idea behind causing a "distraction" when necessary, quid pro quo, or doing the occasional favor just so I can claim one at a later date. But anyways, its always interesting figuring out who to align yourself with. Knowing who pulls what strings and who makes the gears turn. And believe it or not, it's never the people at the top. Gain support at the bottom, then ride your way up. And you never do it by vocally expressing your plans. Work hard and work often at the beginning. Show 'em your capable. Then ride off your past success. At that point, your reputation speaks for you. Yeah, I've done this before.

"You like it like I do. Put your lips on my dick and suck my asshole too." - 2 Live Crew

In my job hunt, which went from nil to two nice paying jobs that you wouldn't think would pay much, I wound up taking a few physicals. The first one was for Waffle House. That was no biggie. They sent me to this place in Anderson, I pissed in a cup, they checked my breathing, I went home. It was a little weird handing a 60 old lady a cup full of my warm urine while having a conversation with her, but hey -- it was kinda kinky. The second physical, which I took for my current job, was a little different. They sent all the new supervisors to this place in Columbia, and it was like a regular doctor visit. Once again, I had to piss in a cup. By now I was a pro. No conversation tho. This time it was a cute nurse w/ dirty blonde hair. I didn't want to say anything stupid - which would have been anything to come out of your mouth when holding a cup of your own urine. She leaves and she's like the doctor will be with you in a second for your physical. When you hear that, the first question you have is if this is going to be a "let me take your blood pressure" physical or a "drop your pants" physical. Either way, I sat and waited until the doctor came in. She was a nice lady. Yes, she. So instantly, I thought back to the last set of questions. Then I thought back to my first "drop your pants" physical way back in seventh grade. As some old dude grabbed his balls, 11-yr old Terence thought, "this wouldn't be so bad if it were a girl doing it." 21-yr old Piddy doesn't think much different. So we went through the whole physical routine. Eye charts, breathing, spine check, etc. Then she broke out the plastic glove. Yep, it was one of "those" physicals and time for the moment of truth. Well let me say this. One should not confuse trips to the doctor's office with trips to porn sets. She grabbed my balls, told me to cough, then tossed away that latex glove like I was just another patient. Another dream that died hard once it actually happened.

(Terence: I apologize to anyone who I offended with that song quote and/or story. Good taste? Piddy? Nonexistent.)

Guy Mode On

"Your heart'll skip a beat if I put a thousand in your garter belt." - Ludacris

I've been to strip clubs about 5 different times. And before I proceed any further, I don't want anyone IMing me telling me that strip clubs are degrading to women. I like boobs. Strippers like money. No one forces strippers to work in strip clubs, sounds like a win-win situation to me. Anyways, I've determined something. Strippers must not be required to take an economics class. They seriously don't understand the laws of supply and demand. If strippers charged $10 per lap dance instead of $15, they'd get a lot more customers. Ditto for $20 for a back room dance instead of $30. A nice, firm set of random breasts are nice, but keeping money in my pocket is nicer.

"The Rock says, he's gonna take your stock car. Dust it off, turn it sideways, and stick it straight up, your CANDY-ASS." - The Rock

Talk about a double standard. I know a shitload of people who are into NASCAR all the sudden yet frown on me watching professional wrestling. I gave NASCAR a chance with the Coca-Cola 600. Now I can say what I've said multiple times before. NASCAR might be the most worthless "sport" ever. I say "sport" because the car is doing 90% of the work. Those stock cars could easily be RC-ed from the infield. And don't talk about how the drivers are in those hot cars risking their lives. I see people every day working in areas of 127 degrees for 8 hrs a day risking their lives. I mean sure, they won't die from the heat, but if they don't work they don't eat. And besides, I don't know how any one can watch 26 cars or so go round and round in a circle for 3.5 hours. That's not entertainment. But at the same time, people say how can I watch 2 men in tights grab each other. Once again, to each their own - but I'll take "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels over "The Rainbow Warrior" Jeff Gordon any day.