Page Title

June 29, 2003

"...it reminds me that is not so bad, not so bad." - Eminem ft. Dido

And lo, 2 years have come and gone since I've started this thing. Two years of me bitching. Two years of me expressing happiness. Two years of me expressing sorrow and lost. Two years of me dropping subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) hints at people. Two years of me being a dork. Two years of me oozing happiness about the most simple of things. Have I accomplished anything with this thing in the past two years? I dunno, depends on who you ask. You ask me, I'm gonna go with yes. Gotten lots of stuff of my chest. I've cleared my head. I've cleared my heart. I've found out who has the same viewpoints as me, and who doesn't. Sure its gotten me in trouble and caused a little bit of drama more times than not, but I'm not gonna say its been a bad thing. Some relationships have grown stronger as a result -- some have been shattered into pieces. Luckily, its been more of the former and very few of the latter. Anyways, its been what? Like 3 months since I last updated this thing? Well since I'm sitting around doing nothing I figured what the hell? It might be a good thing to air out my head a little…

"Cause you can have all the chips, be poor or rich, still nobody want a nigga havin' shit." - NaS

Starting off with a little current events… So Strom Thurmond is dead. *shrugs* Considering he should have been dead at least 15 years ago I can't say I really care. I mean its not like the man has done anything for me. Or my parents. Or my grandparents for that matter. I can truthfully say right now I'm glad I'm not home cause I'm sure that WIS (Columbia's NBC affiliate for my out-of-state people) would be airing stuff about his life non-stop with the most positive spin you can put on it. And it would most definitely be spin. I mean how else could you portray a man who voted for lynching laws, supported racial segregation, and had record setting filibusters against the 1957 AND 1964 Civil Rights Acts in a positive light? And don't give me that mess about him being the first to hire a black staff member and him voting for a national MLK Jr. holiday; that's called knowing who helps butter the bread and trying to not go down in history books as a complete racist bastard. And the fact that South Carolina felt the need to re-elect his ass as senator multiple times really bothers me…and everyone wonders why I'm in such a hurry to get out of this state.

"Friends are those who know the song to your heart, and sing it back to you when you've forgotten the words." - ?

On a completely different note, I'd just like to say thanks. To friends old and new for making this past May 21st one of my favorite birthdays. From the handmade cards (thanks Meredith G., Charlotte, Nieka, Crystal, & Cariessa), to the b-day dinner (thanks Rachel and Bradley), to the serenade at midnight (kudos to Libby, Brit, Mandy, and Leslie) to the b-day card I got 11 days early out of the blue (Lauren, I'm lookin' at you) to the nice 6 pack of Harp (good lookin' out Zack) to the very lovely framed Shakira poster (much love Ms. Kel Kel) to the kind words (and phone calls/away messages) from everyone I am truly thankful. You can buy lots of stuff, but good friends ain't one of 'em.

"I wanna find something I've wanted all along… somewhere I belong." - Linkin Park

This has been one of the most interesting summers ever. You really don't know where you stand in the world until you leave your home field and play in a new ballpark. That's where you really find out how you compare personality-wise to everyone else. If people are cool with you and who you are, you're probably doing okay. Folks won't mind chillin' with you and your road trip will probably be good. On the other hand, if you could use a little work as a person, don't expect for the away team to cheer for you. Hell, for that matter, expect them to boo you out of the arena and badmouth you all the way back to where you came from. And in most cases you probably deserved it.

"Fortune, fame. Mirror vain. Gone insane...but the memory remains." - Metallica

The one thing I've learned being an Orientation Ambassador this summer is that age is relative. You're only as young or as old as those around you. Considering this summer I've gone from being the baby of the group to toward the older end of the scale is something really new for me. As is the incoming freshmen calling me "Sir." For heaven's sake, I'm only 20. Hell, I just turned 20 for that matter. Something that isn't relative is time. Time's gonna pass no matter what you do. Having someone remember you coming to their school and speaking as FBLA Vice President is cool. Makes you go, "wow, people have really good memory." Remembering that you haven't been FBLA VP since your senior year of high school and you're now a senior in college isn't as cool. Makes you go, "Damn. Where the fuck did time go?"

"You think that you're better? Well you better get ready. To bow to the masters…" - WWF d-X Theme

Now some of the following things maybe surprise some people, especially coming from my fingertips, but bear with me. Conceited people suck. I'm not talking about conceited people who do it jokingly or just for a good laugh. I'm talking about people who swear they are the greatest gift to whatever they're involved with. There are times when I'd love to DDT those people through a table. Two tables actually. Then for good measure I'd like to PowerBomb the people who feel that they should a) inform you that they know everything and b) correct you whenever they feel you're wrong through the same two tables. And last but certainly not least…power hungry folks. The only people that blow more than the previous two groups are the people who feel that since they're the top-dog they can do whatever they want. Notsomuch. Power is only as good as the people you can get to put it into action. Make people upset they stop being good towards you and/or your cause. Boy, who'da thought I'd be the one saying this one-day? Considering I'm one of the most egotistical people I know ;-)

"I need time. Love. Joy. I need space. Love. I need me." - Britney Spears

Sometimes people want more than you're capable of giving. Sometimes people give more than you really want to receive. Neither scenario is that good, but its definitely not good when the two coincide with each other. Then you have to ask, who's gonna change first? Some would say the one who has the most to gain…others would say the one who has the most to lose. What do I say? Dunno, can't say I've taken the time to think about it in depth.

Guy Mode On

Not too long ago I had the opportunity to attend my first live LIVE WWE RAW. Now keep in mind I've been waiting a good decade for this. I've been watching this show since it was Monday Night Raw to when it became RAW is WAR to it just being simply known as RAW. Believe me, it was worth every penny. First off I had 2 of my boys from back home with me, so that's a good start there. Then I got to shake Theodore Long's hand. I saw all the big guns: Triple H, Flair, Austin, Goldberg, Jericho, RVD, Kane, Shawn Michaels, Kevin Nash, Booker T, Scott Steiner, Goldust, Hurricane, etc. Hell, I even "caught" a free Goldberg T-Shirt. Then best of all, I witnessed a piece of history… http://www.stormwrestling.com/commentary/default.asp?aID=1368

I swear the time between the NBA Finals and the first NCAA football game has to be the most awful time of the year. The only sports around are baseball, golf, and soccer. I'd rather watch paint dry. No hockey. No basketball. No football. Just two slow paced sports and one where you have to be anything but American (or Canadian) to enjoy. Big whooptie-freakin-do. On the bright side, Georgia v. Clemson - August 31st. Salvation is right around the corner, and its gonna be in my own back yard.

New Color of the Summer: "Fuck Me" Blue. Kind of a mix between Carolina Blue and Sky Blue. Which are both the same color...

"Your brain is the generator of almighty power, either do it now or your master plan goes sour." - Scotty D.

As much as I love Dance Dance Revolution, another summer crash diet isn't really what I'm looking for. But damn, sheddin' off pounds to "Drop the Bomb (System SF Mix)" is just too tempting. Yeah, that was sarcasm. Evenso, I think I might be able to pull something out of the woodwork this summer. Especially with all the walking I do for orientation…