RAW

June 2-24, 2004

RAW Choice Cut: Modest Mouse - "Float On"

"The trees that whisper in the evening...carried away by a moonlight shadow." - Maggie O'Reilly / Missing Heart

Sometimes in our daily hubbub and bustle we forget how short life is. That every day isn't promised to us. Not too long after graduation, I caught wind that an acquaintance of mine had died in a plane crash. Ania wasn't someone I saw everyday or spoke to often, but when I did come across her she was always "good people." She transferred to Georgia State from Clemson last year, so I only saw her once last year, but it was fun times. Denny and I had gone down to ATL to catch the GT/Clemson game. Ania happened to be there (in faithful Clemson orange) and managed to spot us amongst all the other Clemson fans. She greeted us w/ hugs and kisses as always and asked if we wanted to go out that night, where we were staying, if we needed a place to stay and all types of things. We never did get to sample the ATL nightlife w/ her that night (due to the length of the game and us not having eaten all day), but she did let us crash at her place so we wouldn't have to drive back to Clemson at 2am. Gave us blankets, pillows, and even made us breakfast the next morning. Twas quite nice of her, but with Ania its not like I should have expected any different. I'm definitely gonna agree with Denny in saying that she'll be missed.

"We'll find their place in line. Tie a string around your finger, its just a matter of time." - Vince McMahon's WWE Theme Song

In my travels around the state job hunting, that short stint I had at Waffle House, and even in the few days I've been working in Columbia, I've noticed something. You work as a higher up at a place too long, you lose your soul. Everything the company believes in becomes gospel and you're a preacher. It's almost sad. You see shells of people that you could tell at one point and time were more than just speakerboxes. In talking w/ the HR Manager in Columbia, it seems as if that was one of the reasons the new supervisors and myself were brought on. People started to believe in one way, the company way, and it caused things to stagnate. Now while this doesn't happen to everyone in a company, I can only question how long it'll be before I look back on this and go "what happened to me?"

"Just a day. Just an ordinary day. Just tryin' to get by." - Vanessa Carlton

Speaking of the work world and such, I've noticed something. Your first day of work is worthless. But it's the one everyone wants to know about. The three people I know who've started working (Cecil, Miss Sarah, and myself) all went through the same thing. People ask you how you day went - but all you do is fill out paperwork, watch training videos, and hang out with the Human Resources department. Next person I know who starts a job (which I think is Denny), I'm gonna ask them how it went on the first and second day. The first day because everyone likes to know that people actually care. The second day because I actually want to know what in the blue hell do you.

"I try and tell myself it'll be alright. I shouldn't think anymore tonight. Dreams last for so long…" - Jewel

Finally an answer for that eternal question -- which to follow, you head or your heart? After a few mistakes and bad choices, I'm gonna have to go with following your heart. When you follow your head, things may go smoothly. Everything's well thought out and goes pretty much to plan. But you're always second guessing yourself. Wondering what would have happened if you chose Door #1 instead of Door #2. When you follow your heart, things will definitely not follow any type of plan. The path might be a little rough and there's a possibility you could come away without anything. But at least you know at the end of it all, you will have given your all. And life's a lot easier to live knowing "what happened" instead of wondering "what-if." Guess we know what they say about hindsight…

"All I need is time. A moment that is mine. While I'm in between." - Britney Spears

It's amazing how what you think will be an awful situation quickly turns out to be better than you thought it would be. Mom always told me, "When you're not looking forward to something, that's usually when you enjoy yourself the most." I know many of us are getting jobs or going away to grad school and are not looking forward to leaving behind what we knew for the last few years. But believe me, once you jump into it head first and get your feet wet, you'll be amazed at all the good things that come your way. After a while your "new" life becomes commonplace. And while there will be times you'll miss what you knew, you'll quickly find out that going back to that doesn't exactly feel the same as it did before.

"430 Lex with the convertible top , and the rims keep spinnin' everytime I stop." - Big Tymers

Speaking of which, I realized something. Recently I bought an Game Boy NESp. Its great and reeks of retro-awesomeness, but that's not the point I want to make. This thing set me back $100. At first I was like, I just spent $100 on something I probably won't play too often. Then I thought about how much money I spent on alcohol and such. Yeah. Now while its great and all, the good times I had from that alcohol produced nothing tangible. That Game Boy is a pretty tangible object considering I can see it resting on top of CPU tower. Now I'm not knocking having a couple drinks here and there. Just don't do something dumb like pay for an excessive amount of drinks 5 or 6 days out of the week. I did that the week of my 21st and while it was great and all, I can't say I have too much to show from it - other than a wallet that was a little bit lighter. Let's all try to think a little bit more before spending money foolishly. (And keeping the bottles that the alcohol came in doesn't really count as being tangible. Believe me, after you graduate, a lot of ya'll will see those don't carry over into life too well.)

"Here comes the two, to the three, to the four, everyone drunk out on the dance floor." - J-Kwon

Sidenote: When you go out drinking, be sure to be kind to your designated drivers. These are people who have to deal with your drunk ass, listen to your ramblings, handle you smelling like cigarettes, cheap women, and alcohol, and be ready for you to randomly throw up in their vehicle. Plus they are taking time from whatever they're doing to make sure you get home safely. Buy 'em some food. Call 'em the next day saying thank you. Or you can do like that commercial and buy 'em some flowers. And on that note, I'd like to say thanks to Eric and Chad, Libby and Shay, and Miss Kel Kel. I've already bought all of ya'll food, so don't expect flowers from me.

Short list of goals for the next 10 years - Buy "Authentic Replica" WCW Title Belt. Buy Ms Pac-Man arcade machine. (Say what you wish, but they're tangible, I'm single, and I get a nice paycheck that I do nothing with…) Get MBA. Get job #2 in upstate South Carolina. Attend WrestleMania XV. Get job #3 outside of South Carolina. Vow to never reclaim residency in South Carolina. Find good girlfriend. Make her my fiance. Get married. Let her live the "Glamorous Life". Have Chug. Buy Boat.

Random Thoughts (or Inside Jokes for the people who know what I'm talking about)

"All and all you're just another dick with no balls." - Bloodhound Gang - Some people think they're waaaaaaay cooler than they really are. They really could use a wake up call. It'd save them the trouble of making a fool of themselves.

"I said it must be yo ass, cause it ain't yo face." - Nelly - Sometimes you do things to women just for the sheer novelty of it. But watch out, it might wind up being really embarassing.

"I've been to paint drying competitions that were more fun." - T_Piddy - Oof. No comment on that one.

"How many cookies do I have in my mouth?" - Verizon Commercial - Nothing is better than having you friends call you at work and making your pants vibrate. Except when you get that text message saying "Save Me Today." Its at that moment you know the weekend is going to be interesting.

"I'd still pick my friends over you." - New Found Glory - That one friend you turn your back on will be the one friend you need the most.

"I got that dirty south with me, I don't give a fuck." - Lil Jon - People do stuff to illicit a reaction out of you. It's not worth pleasing them to react.