RAW

August 25, 2004

"...cause Inside I realize that I'm the one confused. I don't know what's fighting for or why I had to scream

I don't know why I instigate or say what I don't mean. I don't know how I got this way, I know its not alright…"

RAW Choice Cut: Linkin Park - "Breaking The Habit"

I don't do RAW columns often. Well, at least not since graduating. There's not as much drama going on. Usually RAW columns only come about when I'm in a mood to do so, whereas Piddy can crank out an EAP from a string of random events, a little observational humor, or just by being silly. I might start one, then stop depending on whatever mood I'm in. RAW columns usually require some sort of catalyst in order for them to be written in full…

Speaking of which, Piddy is on vacation. For how long, I haven't decided. Definitely had a night where all better judgment got tossed out of the window. Someone got a little too much "crunk in their system" and definitely caused a good deal of trouble. I mean this…

*Trillville's "Get Some Crunk In Your System" (cued at 2:36) blares over the loudspeakers and Piddy walks into the column with the WCW World Title slung over his shoulder*

Piddy: Hi *smirks* Terence: I don't interrupt your columns. Why do you do this to me?

Piddy: Actually, you do. Mr. "I don't want people to know about my ass fetish." You just don't do it with as much pageantry.

Terence: *heavysigh* Anyways… what do you want? Piddy: Why am I being forced on vacation?

Terence: Well let's see. You got completely obliterated, spent waaay too much money, stepped to one of your best friends, got thrown out of a club - LITERALLY - by three bouncers, ripped the buttons off of your favorite shirt in a fit of rage, told the cops you were mad at your friend for doing a "heel turn," and all sorts of other trouble.

Piddy: You left out completely ignoring Jen, kissing up on Colette, grabbing Rachel's boobs with her husband standing right there, spilling beer on Bradley, and dancing with the ugly girl. ;-)

Terence: I tried to only talk about things I remember happening. Anyways, you need to sit out for a while.

Piddy: Fair enough. How about until Homecoming weekend? Terence: Why Homecoming?

Piddy: *whisperssomethingintoTerence'sear* …I mean she was the only one who could tolerate both of us.

"I can try to pretend, I can try to forget, but it's driving me mad, going out of my head." - t.A.T.u.

Terence: Homecoming it is then.

"I can't do this thing called life without you here with me." - Beyonce Knowles

Movie recommendation from the summer: The Notebook. Now considering that movies like Alien v. Predator, Spiderman 2, Shrek 2, I,Robot, and The Day After Tomorrow came out this summer, you probably wouldn't expect this to come out of anyone's mouth - let alone mine. But it's a really sweet movie that everyone should be able to relate to some part of it. In a nutshell, it tells a story of two kids who compliment each other extremely well, fall in love, but wind up being separated as a result of the war. Now not to spoil anything for anyone, but this was definitely one of the better movies I've seen in recent times. I shed a tear - or a few.

"You should tell her how you feel. You don't keep things like love inside you. It'll make you sick." - Dr. Otto Octavious (Doc Ock)

Out of all the lines in that movie [Spiderman 2] that were quality, that one stood out to me. Maybe because I could empathize with Peter Parker. Maybe its cause I've given the same advice before, even if I don't always take my own medicine. But it's true. Love is just like anger. If you don't release it in some form, it'll take over your entire being. You won't be able to sleep good at night. Moments where you shouldn't be thinking of anything it becomes all you think about. You're just in a constant state of uneasiness. Eventually your feelings might subside long enough for you to come up w/ rational thoughts on a constant basis, but you always stumble across something that brings everything right back to the forefront.

"Before I let you walk away, I have one last demand. Tell me a lie, and say that you won't go…"

- "Tell Me A Lie," '96 HBK Tribute Song

Best friends. I've told many people that I don't care to have one. I've had a few when I was younger, but they would move away or something would happen and we just fall out of touch. Around eighth grade I just got tired of all this and decided to go solo. I wasn't a loner or anything nor ever did I have problem finding people to hang out with - I just preferred to not have that one person who I called my best friend. Until about 6 wks ago I kinda backed into the whole best friend thing. I was giving a guy a ride home from a party and as he was moving things around in my car he came across an odd little ornament that I've been carrying in my car lately. In my effort to explain the significance behind it I said my best friend gave it to me. Which then led to me explaining why they're such a great friend and completely forgetting about the gift itself. It was at that point I thought, "Phooey. Another best friend I'm gonna wind up with some distance between."

"I don't wanna grow up cause baby if I did, I couldn't be a Toys R' Us kid." - TRU Jingle

Now is a good time in life. We all have the mentality of little kids, its just that some of us now have the paychecks of grown ups. We're learning things like how to save and planning for the future, but we're also learning how to enjoy ourselves. Some of us purchase wrestling belts. Others are eyeballing pool tables. A few of us went out and bought a motorcycle. I think all of this is pretty damn cool. Every time I talk to someone now I get a good story about a toy they just bought or are real close to buying. Sure, some of us have jobs that suck (*raiseshand*) - but the things we can buy with this money are pretty damn cool.

From bikes to trains to vid-e-o games… I love that song :-)

"There's gotta be more to life than chasin' out every temporary high" - Stacie Orrico

In the same breath tho, money is not everything. Truthfully, I prefer personal happiness. Would I be willing to take a $5,000 pay cut, along with the cost of moving out and living on my own just so I could work in upstate South Carolina? Considering I slaved away last summer for a measly $1,000 to do the same, I'd say this a no brainer. Maybe I can say this because I'm a relatively "simple" person. Evenso, as much as I'd love to be completely happy right now, I have to think about what I wanna do next. When do I want to go back to school? Where? What do I want to do for a living? Do I want to chase a dream and work for the WWE or just get a nice cushy office job and continue to fill up my 401k? With all the big life changing questions in front of me, what to do, what to do… Well I know what I'm not going to do - and that's quit my job. I maybe "simple" but I'm not "stupid." It's a lot easier to change lifestyles when you have a nice nest egg built up. Now after I've made some solid decisions, then I'll go ahead and give my two weeks notice.

"I'm only happy when it rains. Pour your misery down on me." - Garbage

Since we've all been able to notice how unhappy I am with my job (yeah, last paragraph was written 2 mins ago. The paragraph preceding that was written July 11. That nice bed of money has gotten a lot less comfortable, and besides, I've always preferred sleeping on a floor anyways), I've been able to come away with some observations from work - like how selfish we can be at times. Things completely change when you work with people who love their job and see it as their living whereas you're just doing it to "pass time." A fellow supervisor was going on and on about a mistake someone made and how they were screwing up their "livelihood" and how we all could be out of job, etc. My only thought was "blowing this a little out of proportion aren't we?" Maybe he was right but right now, I can't say I care. I'll still be able to eat, have a roof over my head, and since I have a college diploma, I can go out and find something to do if the situation was as bad as he made it out to be. Finally a saying makes sense - "Be sure to find a job where you'll want to work like you don't have that diploma." My uncle told me that on graduation day. Makes perfect sense now. Expect me to follow up on this topic in the coming months. CCF just hired 2 other supervisors out of Clemson at the same pay I'm getting. Promise you they didn't take the job because they want to get a leg up in the food industry. Gimme one month and I'll be able to tell you a story of 4 Clemson grads who are miserable but dress a little bit nicer - if they stay that long. I've already taken Sarina's place…

In a random blog plug - check out my friend John's page. It's always an interesting read. Maybe because he's just as much of a dreamer (if not moreso) than I am. http://www.livejournal.com/users/canaroo/