"Die! Could you stop ? I feel giddy!" Kaoru demanded. He still was at studio even Kyo and Toshiya went back to Hotel, waiting for Shinya if went back there.

"Damned! What is Yoshiki doing? Why doesn’t he contact with us? Where’s Shinya?" Die asked in anger, almost shouting.

Silence was the answer from Kaoru. He knew by his instinct something happened to his drummer. What he could do was praying for Shinya’s safety.

"I can’t wait any more. I will go to find Shinya again!!!" Die walked with heavy tread to the door.

"What can you do now, Die? Do you know here well? I’m sure Yoshiki and his staff can do it better than you." Kaoru talked back.

"Yes! Mr. Perfect Producer can do everything better. Look! How long has he been lost?!"

"I know but we looked around the studio an hour ago and we couldn’t find Shinya. The thing we could do now is wait, Die"

" What the hell on earth!! It’s so late.….. Where are you fool, Shinya?!" Die looked angry but inside himself was full of worry. He tried to deny to himself that nothing serious happened to Shinya.

The ringing of the phone parted the tense atmosphere. Kaoru quickly grasped the phone. "Hello….Yes, It’s me Kaoru…….Ah! Yoshiki-san, you’ve found Shinya! Where is he?……. Yes!….Yes….Yes….."

"What he said? Kaoru. Where is Shinya? Is he alright?" Die disturbed his friend. He wanted to know about Shinya instantly.

Kaoru looked up his friend, the worry showing on his face. "Shinya had an accident…"

"What!! How is he?!"

Kaoru didn’t answer, turning to talk to Yoshiki again. "Yes…. We’re going to be back to hotel ….."

"Has Shinya been at the hotel?"

"Yes… I’ll told Kyo and Toshiya…." Kaoru hadn’t answered Die’s questions as yet. Die couldn’t stand it any more. He grabbed the phone from Kaoru’s hand and forced his voice down.

"Yoshiki-san! Where’s Shinya? What’s happened to him?"

"Die?"

"Yes! It’s me. Tell me about Shinya please!"

The hesitating silence from the end of the other line. " He had an accident…." Yoshiki answered softly.

"Yes ! I know! What kind of accident? How is he? I want to see him badly."

"He is safe. Don’t worry. Go back and take a rest."

"How could you say those words!!! Something happened to Shinya. You act like we shouldn’t pay any attention !." Die shouted at the phone. He knew he was rude, but he couldn’t help it. Kaoru tried to grabbed the phone back but Die shoved his hand away. "Tell me. Where’s Shinya?"

There was silence from Yoshiki again. Finally he said. "He is at my house."

"Why is he there?" Die was curious.

"He doesn’t want to stay at the hospital."

"Then why don’t you send him back to the hotel??"

There was silence for a moment before Yoshiki answered. "…. I thought it’d be better to stay here….He could take a rest quietly."

"O.K. I’ll see him at your house now."

"I’m afraid that you can’t."

"Why?!!!"

"I’ll explain later. You ought to let him alone at first."

"No! I want to see him right now!!! You don’t have any right to inhibit me. Shinya is ours!" Die could hear Yoshiki shifting his phone hesitatedly from the other line.

"He doesn’t want to see all of you now….."

"What!?" Die was stunned, believing he made a mistake.

"But he is sleeping from the medicines. I think he hasn’t woke up for 3 – 4 hours. You can come to see him in the meantime. I’ll tell Inoue-san drop you in my house."

"Yoshiki-san. I…."

"See you at my house." The sound ‘peep’ was heard from the end of the line. Die stared at the phone in his hand , surprised.

* *

Die sat on his bed in the darkness, letting his tears run free down his cheeks quietly. He recalled what he’d seen at Yoshiki’s house.

Die looked up to his producer and looked across his shoulder to see Kaoru was stunned at the door.

Die just got a short explanation from his producer. Shinya was attacked by some gangsters but he was safe and nothing serious. He knew Yoshiki had concealed something, but he was too fatigued to search for anything. In any case, he didn’t want to know what happened truly. He was scared and couldn’t accept it.

The knocking sounds from the door didn’t move him until a voice called. "May I come in?" The light outside the room showed the outline of a familiar slender figure.

"Toshiya?"

"Sorry…. You didn’t lock your door."

" Let me alone." Die still hadn’t moved. Toshiya sat down next to him, enfolding his arm around the guitarist, comforting him.

"Kaoru had told me…." Toshiya said softly.

Die choked before buried his face on Toshiya’s shoulder. "It’s my fault!" His voice broke with sob. " I forced him to danger. I couldn’t help him…. protect him…. I’m useless and stupid!"

"No, Die, don’t blame yourself. What will be, will be."

" No wonder Shinya hates me. He doesn’t want to see me anymore!!"

Toshiya wrapped his arm around the drawn hearted guitarist, letting him cry in his arms and stared absently.

* *

Shinya felt the fear creep in his heart. He struggled all out he could, not caring how much they hurt him. Though he was shoved rudely on the dirty floor, he cried for help at the top of his lung again and again ….

Shinya struggled and screamed as someone was holding his hand. He shut his eyes tightly; didn’t want to see the disgusting faces. But the familiar voice called out his name gently.

" Shinya! Shinya! … wake up…"

He knew this voice well. "Yoshiki-san…" gazing through dim light and found. "Yoshiki-san!! Help me! Help me please!!" He cried and flew to the older guy, shivering with fear.

"Shinya, you’re safe. Nothing here…" Yoshiki comforted the younger drummer in his embrace, stroking the long soft hair. He said those words again and again softly.

At any moment, Shinya could feel the warm and gentle from the older guy’s arms, claming down. He felt he soft mattress underneath himself as well. Yes… he was not on the rough floor where he was…. Shinya felt his stomach was clenching and pain was creeping on his body sorely.

"Shinya, Are you alright?" Yoshiki asked as he felt the young guy in his arms had been silent.

"I want to vomit…." Shinya murmured.

"Ah! Wait a second." Yoshiki shifted himself out Shinya’s holding, looking for the chamber pot.

"No! Please, don’t leave me!!" He grasp Yoshiki tighter. " ….Just give me some water… I’m thirsty…." He said exhaustingly.

After he got some water, Shinya seemed to regain his consciousness. He still laid quietly in Yoshiki arms. " How about my band mates?…." He decided to ask.

"They’re very worried about you."

"What did you tell them?"

"You had an accident, nothing’s serious…"

"You didn’t tell them about…." Shinya bit his lip, he felt disgusted again.

"Yes….as you pleaded, don’t worry Shinya. Nothing serious, really. I swear. You should rest more and deal with it tomorrow. O.K?"

Shinya nodded slowly. "Yoshiki-san, …. Can you stay with me here?….please."

Yoshiki raised his eye brow, smiling cheerfully. "Yes, I can." He shifted himself under the same sheet. "See? And I’ll hold you like this all night. Can you go asleep?"

Shinya’d never thought he would smile again but he did. He sighed softly and fell asleep again without nightmare all along the night.