Chapter 4

The next day came easily. The reddish-blonde-haired guy and the amber hairrd one were walking along hallway of the studio. Yoshiki patted on the skinny guy’s back consolably while they stood still the next door.

"Don’t worry Shinya, your friends want to meet you and they won’t say anything hurt you."

Shinya nodded slightly. He inhaled a deep breath as Yoshiki opened the rehearsal room. All the members turned to look at him. Shinya felt very nervous as he walked slowly pass his friends. Die turned away in embarrassment, concentrating on his guitar chords. Shinya bit his lower lips, no wonder Die was being mad at him. Suddenly, he was startled by someone hugging him from behind.

"Shin-chan, Are you all right? I’m so worried about you." Kyo pouted. Shinya was speechless. That small guy has known him for a long time and he was good friend from the beginning. Another patted his back gently. It was Kaoru.

"Welcome, Shinya." Kaoru who usually looked serious, but now gave him a hearty smile.

Toshiya wrapped his slender arms around the drummer, said softly. "Don’t scare me again, O.K?"

Shinya merely nodded. He felt touched as the members spoke heart-to heart with him. "I’m sorry, everyone! I’m so sorry…." He cried out, tears rolling on his cheeks.

"Sorry for what?" Die asked from his seat. He looked so dark and angry like his image in photo shoots. The others were stunned. "Sorry for disappearing for a night. Let us seek for you chaotically?" He still said insensibly.

"Die!!!" Toshiya exclaimed. What’s up with Die? Wasn’t he the one who was the most worried about Shinya?

"I don’t need such a stupid apology!" He ejaculated.

"….I don’t care!! You seem disappointed to see me all right! I assume you want to laugh at my hurt! " Shinya snapped.

Die didn’t haggle as usual, just turned away and kept silent. The atmosphere in the room was embarrassing.

"Are you up for working? Do you miss home? We will finish our work as soon as possible." Yoshiki tried to regain the cheerful atmosphere when the other ones were falling in embarrassed silence.

* *

The days passed. The vocalist looked around himself and found he was in strange atmosphere since Shinya was back. Kaoru often disappeared when the work was over. Nobody knew where he was, even though he told everybody he went shopping or sometimes played around himself. Die and Toshiya looked close to each other. Die still looked so blue. He’d no longer teased Shinya. It seemed he’d not talked to Shinya since they had haggled that day. He was cold and distant to the drummer.

"That’s so strange, ne~~ Shin-chan?" Kyo asked the guy who sat next to him.

"Huh?" Shinya was picking some stuff he dislikes out off his dish.

"Our friends are behaving so strangely. Do you know I often found Toshiya was in Die’s room ! " Kyo whispered excitedly.

"uh-uh."

"I didn’t know before that they were such a close friend to each other. They should share the room so we didn’t need to pay much for rent." Kyo said sarcastically.

"Ah~! Yoshiki-san!" Shinya waved to his producer as he saw him walked pass by the cafeteria. He quickly engulfed a glass of water before he rushed to Yoshiki, overlooking the small guy.

"well….this fellow is so strange too, following upon the heel of Yoshiki-san! Oh blast! nobody is interested in what I said!!" Kyo mumbled himself annoyingly.

* *

"……………."

"Shinya…Shinya!!"

The skinny guy startled when his name was called out loud. "Yes! Yoshiki-san" They were recording drum’s sound. Through the glass window of recording room, Shinya could saw Die was chatting with Toshiya. He just realized he was missing something right now. …. Die ….

"What are you looking at?" The age guy asked in a fatherly manner.

"Die is still angry with me." Shinya said melancholically, lowering his head.

"Who told you that?"

"No one. I can feel it myself." Shinya sighed, beating his drum softly, absent-mindedly. " He hadn’t talk to me since that incident."

"Have you tried to talk to him?"

Shinya shook his head slightly. "He kept out of my sight."

"Shinya…." Yoshiki called him softly and smiled encouragingly. "Die was the most anxious about you. He really sweated out when you lost."

Shinya blinked, incredibly. "Really? Then why does he pretend to ignore me for the time being?"

"I don’t know. Believe me, Shinya. You need to talk to him. He is a nice guy, add to that you don’t want to grow away from your band mate, do you?" Rubbing his hand on slim shoulder teasingly.

"Ah! Die, Look at that! Yoshiki-san and Shinya. They look very intimate." Toshiya giggled but Die frowned, looking annoyed. Suddenly, he left the room even Toshiya protested.

* *

Die lit a cigarette, inhaling the smoke deeply. He knew he was hard smoking for the past few days. He had tried to leave it off or let it up, but it’s useless now. He had done many mistakes. He forced his special person to danger and then he had screwed his good friend….

That morning, he woke up with a hangover , feeling the smooth bare skin against his own. The beautiful blue hair that couldn’t be mistaken, Toshiya, was sleeping peacefully close against his bare chest. It’s not just a carnal dream!! How long he regained his own consciousness, he didn’t aware. He just only knew he was damned drunk last night. Toshiya stirred under the blanket, alarming Die again. The slender bassist squirmed slightly before he opened his eyes lids slowly.

"Good Morning Die." He said sweetly.

"Mo…Morning…." Die responded dryly. He would better say something sound likely more than that normal word!

"It’s so late." Squinting his eyes, Toshiya could see the strong sunlight through the curtain. "Ah~~" He cried out in pain as he tried to got up. Die instinctively supported him. "Thank you….. I just felt pain as I moved my legs." The pink color crept to his cheek while he was saying shyly.

"I…I’m terribly sorry." Die was awkward.

"That’s O.K. It will better soon, I think …. In any case …. I love you….Die." He rest his head on Die’s shoulder, burying his face on it.

For Die, He felt as if his head was hit with a big hammer. He couldn’t let out any words, just knew he couldn’t hurt Toshiya, his good friend….

…………………

Die was aware of somebody was standing behind him silently. He sighed furiously "Please let me be alone for awhile, Toshiya-kun." He said even without looking back by his own.

"I’m not Toshiya. Excuse me!" That voice snapped.

Die instantly turned to see the source of the familiar voice. The skinny form was standing at a distant. He was more pale than usual in evening light. Die could see some faint bruises on his flesh as the young drummer stepped closer him.

"What’s on?" The red hair guitarist stopped smoking, tossing the cigarette to the ground since Shinya hates it.

"I would like to talk to you."

"For what?" He sneered.

"Stop ignoring me please. Even you dislike me, but for our band sake. We should make it up with ourselves." Shinya said casually.

"Hey!!! What the hell make you think that way?!" Die questioned.

"You’re still mad at me. I realized I caused some troubles to our band with my blunder, especially that night." Shinya touched a faint bruise on his cheekbone absent-mindedly. Quickly push the worst memory away as Die was glaring at him. "Maybe you think I’m a thick-head. For all that I’ve never intended to what happened. It’s an accident cause of my heedlessness. I.."

"Stop! Stop! Shinya. It’s not your business to beg pardon and explain what happened." Die cut Shinya speech off, pulling that delicate form in his arms. He could feel the bones as he wrapped his arm around the tinny body tightly, being apprehensive if something bad happened to this fellow.

By surprised, Shinya just stayed still. "Aren’t you mad at me?"

"I’m not, Shinya, absolutely not."

"But you always make faces at me."

Die laughed softly." Because of I was mad at myself. I’m the primary cause of your accident. I’m mad at myself that I couldn’t help you in any way."

"Really?" Shinya murmured on Die’s chest.

"Absolutely, Yes!" He almost kissed on the fragrant soft amber hair. "It’s my turn to ask. Do you hate me?"

"eeeeh! Why do you think I hate you?"

"Tell me, Shinya."

"As you see. I don’t. By the way, before all else, please let me go. You are suffocating me!"

"Ah! Pardon me!" Die loosened his arm so Shinya could let go out of him. Staring the skinny drummer dealt with his disorderly hair, he thought he would kill anyone who would dare harm this guy. "Did you notify the police?"

"well…I didn’t. I didn’t want to bring it to case. It would effect our works. Above all, I’d like to forget it as soon as possible." Shinya bit his lower lips.

"You needn’t done such like that." Die said mentally hurt.

"Dash it all! Anyhow, we are reconcilable, aren’t we?"

"Umm…yes, we are."

"Thanks Yoshiki-san. He told me I should talk to you." Shinya smiled brightly as he spoke about his producer.

Die felt disappointed. Shinya talked to him because Yoshiki told him to!

"You know, He was so kind and gentle more than I had imagined."

What he see in Shinya’s eyes, it was a sight of love. An ache crept through his heart. "So you took advantage of him!" Die couldn’t help saying with a vengeance.

Shinya bent his brow. "I didn’t take advantage of him from my accident. I always respect him. I cherish him in my heart!"

"Stop your fatuousness. You just doted his image!"

"No! You don’t understand so you said those sharp words. My feeling is so strong. I LOVE him!"

Die choked in his throat, feeling his heart tear into pieces. "Shinya…You are such a fool. Loving Yoshiki means you will end up with hurt. He won’t love you back."

Shinya compressed his lips. "I know it’s weird, but I want to try my best. I took all my heart. Yoshiki-san could get it."

"You are building castles in the air. It will leave you just sorrow in the end."

"No! No! No! You don’t understand! You are just jealous!" Shinya yelled, as a stubborn child.

"You moron! I try to help you, but you disputed every words! Look up to see the reality. You are just a kid. How could Yoshiki-san love you !?" Suddenly, Shinya slapped on the guitarist’s face.

"Ouch! It hurts." Die cried out. He gripped the drummer shoulder tightly, loosing control himself.

They gazed at each other’s eyes as if they could ignite.

A sound of someone broke them before something would happen. Toshiya was looking at them with suspicious eyes. "What’s up? You guys look like you’re going to kill each other."

Shinya took this opportunity, shoving Die off himself. He rushed to the other way, saying nothing.

"Not at all. Toshiya." Just Die only answered wearily. Toshiya gave him a faint smile, crossing his arm on Die’s.

"I know. However we are associate and I don’t want to see any fight in our band."

All Die could done was avoid his eyes as his paramour still said in delight. "What would you like to have in our dinner? I saw a cute restaurant in the corner around two blocks next to here. Shall we go?"

Die nodded slightly. " Have you asked another to join?"

"ne~~ Die-kun!" The bassist pouted like a child. "I mean only you and me."

Die concealed his sigh and gave Toshiya a frustrated smile.