The atmosphere in Die’s room was tense. The host was sitting on the couch staring at the TV quietly. The other was busy looking for some stuff in the refrigerator.

"….It doesn’t have many stuff for eating" Toshiya began speaking after he let the room in death silenceAre you dieting?" He teased but no answer from the guy who seemed concentrated on the show. "Die Would you like curry and rice or Salad?" Toshiya asked after he had chosen the meals from the rare stuff. "I can’t cook well but freezing curry is ready to eat , just put it into the microwave…. But salad…. I hope your processed mayonnaise is not expired. What do you think?"

No answer again. The bassist started feeling stupid as if he was talking alone. He glared at the back of red head who sat still.

"Die!!!!" No more patience. It was almost shout. The red head jerked up and turned to look back.

"What?" No feeling on his face. Even though he saw the blue hair guy rest his hands on his hip, sulking.

"I had asked you what you want to eat! Why did you ignore me? Do you turn deaf suddenly?!" Toshiya said sarcastically.

"Huh? …." Die seemed thoughtful a second before he realized. "Ah…I’m sorry. I was just too concentrated on the show." He amended.

"I’ve never known before that you are interested in such kind of program." The TV was showing the housewife program; how to live with your daughter-in-law or mother-in-law happily.

Die blinked at the TV. It was showing an old lady complaining about her daughter-in-law. He shifted his eyes from the TV to the blue hair guy and smiled with embarrassment. "….It’s interesting, isn’t it?.." He tried to sound joking.

Toshiya put all the stuff on the table and walked to him. He sat next to his lover and glared at him hard. "Die, do you care for me?" He looked deep inside the dark eyes carefully, just to find the other avoiding his eyes.

"I care….Toshiya" He said almost above his breath.

"Why do you ignore me? Why are you cold to me?….." Toshiya’s voice was calm. It’s hard to guess what he felt.

"I try my best Toshiya. You see."

"TRY what?! I had remembered you are so kind and warm. But now it’s so different. I could feel you get colder and colder to me. What’s wrong?!" Toshiya’s voice got louder.

Die put his hands on the sides of his head as if it pained him so much. "Don’t ask. Toshiya!"

They dropped in silence for a season. Toshiya saw his boyfriend look so down. Would he let him go?

No! I won’t. Until he said I have to go. He thought stubbornly.

He reached his boyfriend’s hand and hold it gently. "Don’t be so serious. I don’t mean anything." Toshiya showed his cute smile. He changed his expression quickly as if he never furious before. "….umm….for dinner. I offer to order them for delivery food shop. Shall we?" He was moving to the phone but Die grabbed his arm.

"We need to talk, Toshiya." His voice sound serious and his eyes were so mean. Had he decided?

"Talk what? Anyhow after our dinner. O.K?"

"No. right now." Die took a deep breath. He didn’t want to let this thing continue on and on. It pained him and then it would be hurt Toshiya much at the end.

"But. I’m hungry. It’s not good idea if we talk while our stomachs have butterflies."

No….Die…..I know what you are trying to say but I don’t want to hear. His mind was screaming on the contrast his face ; kept smiling, acting innocent.

Die shook his head. He had decided already. "I think we are best friend, aren’t we?" He saw Toshiya covering his ears with his hands, denying to hear. "Toshiya listen to me please!" Die gripped his slender shoulders firmly.

"It’s the best if we still be best friend like the past." He continued.

The younger guy slapped his hands away and got up. "What are you trying to say?! I don’t understand Die."

"You are my friend , …..nothing more." Die said in the way he thought it was the best. His heart beat fast. He could feel Toshiya’s pain and so himself.

"Friend?! ….FRIEND? How could you say?! You slept with me and I have pleased you whatever you want. Then you say I’m just your friend. Do you think I am a no-pay whore?! Do you think I’m cheap?!"

Die saw the beautiful face of the bassist turn red and tears welled up. He merely said. "Sorry….I’m so sorry…. It’s my fault. But I’ve never thought such you said. You mean a lot to me!" The older guy tried to reach the bassist but he stepped backward, gazing at him with sore eyes. Die sighed in pain. "You can beat me and kill me if you want Toshiya. I don’t want to cheat on you and myself anymore."

Toshiya kept stepping backward, shaking his hand in disbelief. "No! No!!!!!!" He screamed. He ran out of the room and slammed the door shut violently, leaving the guitarist standing  downcast, lonely.

"……. I don’t think we can live together without love. You should open you heart and learn from each other. Then you will find love approach you……." The host on the program was giving her advice to the guests and audiences. Those sound just filled the apartment.

* * *

The small guy was gazing hard on the screen as his fingers moving on the buttons, his mouth chewing some snack. The bell of his door was ringing, he knew but he couldn’t leave at this stage. He tried so hard over this game in days off. Then the bell stopped ringing and changed into knocking on his door violently as if it could break the thick wooden door. The familiar sounds shout his name furiously.

"KYO! KYO! Oi!! Tooru!!!! Are you dead? Answer me?!"

Kyo had to save his game with pissed. "Oi! Ikiru!! Stop breaking my door Die! I’m coming." The vocalist gulped the snack into his throat all in a sudden. Almost causing him to choke.

The taller guy next to his door looked ragged. His face showed lacking of caring or can’t sleep well. A little beard was starting to grow.

"What’s up Die? You look terrible." Kyo asked with concern.

"Shit! You didn’t even take my calls and then let me wait on the next door for so long. I almost thought you had died and I’m the first who recover it!" Die burst with words, sounding sarcastic.

"I’m busy." Kyo puckered his nose while he excused. How could he tell Die he was busy with the playstation game? "well… Would you tell me what’s up?"

After Die sat on the couch wearily, he looked thoughtful before he spoke. "I tried to contact Toshiya but I’m fail."

"Then?"

"I called every single of his friends as far as I know but no one cloud tell where he is. I even looked for him every where I suppose he will go but…."

"You have altercated with Toshiya, haven’t you?" Kyo guessed.

"No. Merely I asked him to be just friend." Die said dryly.

"Oh! Blast. You broke with him. How could you? What’s wrong?"

"Nothing wrong. I just felt I didn’t want to cheat on him anymore."

"CHEAT?!" Kyo almost yelled. "What the hell you done to Toshiya is cheating?! God… I saw you both get along well with each other. How come? You are so bad…"

"Kyo! Stop chewing me out for a second." Die interrupted. "I’m worried about Toshiya. Have you seen him? I hope he won’t do stupid thing."

Kyo glared hard at the red hair one as if he could ignite fire on his head. "No, I haven’t. He’s stayed out. Totchi told me he go home for days off and he’s not backed yet."

Die wiped his face with his palm. "He hasn’t been here. Where is he?"

"Have you called his cell phone?"

"Yes…. I tried but he didn’t receive my calls."

"well….I think he’s fine, physical way now. Maybe he is composing himself. Don’t worry. Totchi gets used to love. He won’t do stupid things. However he need time, regaining it."

Die sighed. His shoulders slumped down. "It’s my fault. Even Shinya didn’t received my calls too. He’s so cold to me."

Kyo blinked. "Why Shinya? I thought you love Toshiya."

The red head paused for a long moment before he burst out." I love Shinya!"

Kyo looked at his guitarist with surprised eyes then turned to furious. "Then…Toshiya? What do you think about him?!"

"It’s my mistake. I woke up and found I had screwed him and he said he love me. What do you supposed me to do? Should I said ‘Oop! Sorry Toshiya. I didn’t mean it. Shall we forget?’ I drunk Kyo! It’s not the good reason for apology to him. He is my good friend. I don’t want to loose him. So I think it would better if I would make him bored with me, fall off love with me finally."

"You are too kind-hearted."

Die couldn’t guess Kyo really meant it or he just said sarcastically.

"Nevertheless …. You asked for breaking." Kyo paused, trying to calm himself down. " You oughtn’t let it prolonged as yet. Yes. Toshiya is so sensitive but he is a reasonable man. He would have understood what you said if you told him at the beginning." Kyo had no doubt more. He could see how Die was embarrassed when he was with Toshiya as a pair of lover. Why didn’t Toshiya could see it? Might Toshiya be thinking something he couldn’t realize?

"More than anything. I want to make sure Toshiya is fine, don’t I? What should I do?" Die asked for help.

Kyo looked thoughtful for a while then widened his eyes. "There a person that Totchi can’t reject his call." Kyo grinned. "I guess he can help."

"Who?"

"Our leader. Kaoru-sama."

* * *

"Why don’t you call Toshiya by yourself?" Die seemed to fear, walking around the small guy while he was dealing his phone. He didn’t want to let Kaoru know his personal problem. The leader sometimes looked scary.

"I can’t persuade Toshiya. He knows you and me well. He would guess you will ask me for help. If he didn’t want to talk to you, he won’t talk to me too. You see?" Kyo spoke as he was waiting for Kaoru on line. Finally he heard form the other line. "Plus Toshiya seemed in awe of Kaoru-san. He called Kaoru; the god of death." Kyo giggled. "Ah…he hung on."

"Moshi Moshi Kaoru desu." The muffle voice answered.

"It’s Kyo ne~~ How are you?"

"Umm…fine. What’s up? I never expected to get your call at days off."

"Emergency call." Kyo snickered.

"What?!"

Kyo started to brief Die and Toshiya’s problem. Then Kaoru exclaimed. "Hey… I don’t want to poke my nose into the air."

"You are our leader. There’s problem between members now. You should solve it! You can’t stand aside."

Kaoru was speechless.

"Ne~~~ You got Yoshiki-san. You get more experiences. Then I think you are the most mature person in our band. You can deal with Toshiya." Kyo took occasion teasing his leader.

"Don’t tease about Yoshiki-san!" Kaoru scolded. "He’s not your mock."

"I won’t tell who else about you and Yoshiki-san ne~~" Kyo said meaningfully.

"Brat! You spied on me! I haven’t square you account yet!" Kaoru growled.

"Oi! It’s an accident. Let alone the past. What about Toshiya? Would you help them?"

Kyo heard Kaoru sigh softly. "O.K. I will deal with him."

* * *

Die sigh with relief after ringing off. Kyo grinned. "Ne~~ I told you he is kind."

Because you blackmailed him, didn’t you. Die almost spoke out but he gave up. "Fine. Toshiya’s was solved. The next is Shinya."

Kyo rose hell." Shinya?! What’s the matter again?!"

Die was restive. "I got words that Shinya is dating with a notorious dude guy."

Kyo was giddy about the guitarist’s problems, feeling pissed off, staring at the red head crazily, then he burst out in laugh.

"What’s amusing? Kyo!" Die spoke up with mad.

"You tried to catch both Toshiya and Shinya,….. then you lost them both." Kyo still laugh as if he’s going insane.

Die rose on his feet. He bit his head off. "Thanks for your help a lot. I won’t ask you for help about Shinya. Well…It’s about time I’ll leave. See you next time."

Kyo looked at the guitarist’s back. "Don’t go off the deep end again. I won’t bear a part with you more." He said following the red head.

* * *

to be continued…..