Shinya looked embarrassed; surrounded by strangers with hungry eyes. "Shinya from Dir en grey?! Ah…you are so pretty in real life!" Somebody tried to grabbed his hair but he ducked before it could touch him. He sulked and looked for Shuichi; he wanted to go home. He hated this place, hated all of them who made him feel like an alien.

"I wanna go!" He exclaimed after finding Shuichi was siting with a girl on his lap, a bit far from his seat.

"The night is too young. Shin-chan" Carelessly, Shuichi replied.

" I don’t care. I wanna go back. Will you go with me?" Shinya said offended, he didn’t even mind if it sounded rude either. He went out with Shuichi for a couple of times, since he felt lonely. Going out with old friend was a good idea, wasn’t it ? He didn’t even suppose to be something that Shuichi let everybody treat him like a pet.

"ne~~~ Don’t be furious… I think you should make yourself at home." Sound drunk.

Shinya sighed. "Fine, if you don’t want to go with me, I’ll go now." Without saying goodbye, he left the group. He knew everybody stared at him impoliteness. Shinya left in coldness since he couldn’t stand it anymore. Shuichi was very kind to him but sometimes he felt like that guy took advantage from ‘Shinya of Dir en grey’.

Although there were many people walking on the street, even among the crowd, he still felt incredibly lonely. But after a short while, he felt as if someone had been following him since he left the pub. Shinya wrapped his arms around himself, cautiously. He walked quickly and felt that person still chased after him. Bad memories flashed in his thought and he started to run for his life. Too late, he was grabbed. Shinya jumped and almost screamed for help but that guy blocked his mouth.

"Shinya! It’s me!"

Shinya stared hard, the guy with his fur hood hiding his face and black jacket, looking like some kind of stalker. However, the voice was familiar…

"Die?!"

"Yes." Broad smile was shown, obliviously.

"Baka! What the hell on earth you’re doing here?" Shinya pounded on Die’s arm. "You almost stopped my heart!!!"

"Sorry, Shinya. I saw you walking alone and felt worried."

"How long did you follow me?"

Die paused. "Umm…" Looking for the good answer.

"Since the pub? Huh? I could feel it. Die….Are you stalking me?"

"No. Shinya…" Die’s hesitated. "….It’s a coincidence!"

"Really?! …I’m not a kid! Don’t lie to me." Shinya stared hard into Die’s eyes.

Die sighed, he gave up. "Yes. I followed you from the pub." In any case, he didn’t say out that he was in the pub too. It would make Shinya more mad.

"Why ?" Shinya’s sounded so serious.

"Shinya. Calm down! I’m not a stalker. I just feel worried about you and need to see you’re alright."

"Why do you have to worry about me ? I can take care myself."

"You don’t; you are too young to know the world. You don’t even know Shuichi…"

"Damn! How can I stop you from thinking I’m a kid?! I’m a grown up already! Shuichi is my old friend, why the heck don’t I know him!"

Die started to feel mad, this kid never knows himself. He is always young in his eyes and overconfident . "You can take care of yourself ?! Huh ? Shinya! See what happened in L.A. I don’t want to go crazy when something like that happen to you!!" ‘Oh Shit!!…I shouldn’t…’ Die almost chew his tongue. Nobody talked about this accident since they know it would hurt Shinya, letting it sink in the past.

The younger guy looked shock, widening his eyes.

"I’m…." Die couldn’t finished his sentence, somebody interrupted.

"Shinya!!!" Shuichi was about running to them both. "Hey…!!" He looked at the taller guy suspiciously. "Have I ever seen you before?"

"I guess you never. Shuichi." Shinya said with sarcasm.

"Your friend?"

"I think so…."

For the chance, Shuichi started rambling. "Shinya. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t leave you alone and I knew my friends shouldn’t bother you too much. Can you forgive me?"

Die saw the other red hair guy grabbed Shinya’s thin hand in his while he was pleading, with repelling. "Shinya. Come with me!" Die demanded, touching the younger guy’s shoulder.

Shinya shrunk form Die’s touch. He didn’t like the way Die talked to him. It sounded so commanding. "No. I will go with Shuichi." Stubborn? He felt like that. He didn’t want to go back with Suichi, but he wanted to do something to feel conquering over Die.

"It would better to come with me! You don’t know this guy well." The taller red hair guy retorted.

"I know him before I know you! Anyhow, he doesn’t make me feel like a fool as you!" Shinya rose his head while he talked to Die, overconfidently….

"Fine!" Die cursed.

"Keep cool guys! I don’t know what’s up. However, don’t you come with us? I think we will have more fun." Suichi sounded friendly to the furious guitarist.

"Okey! Go Shinya. I don’t care if what will happened to you from this fox." Die pointed at the other red hair.

"Hey!!" Suichi protested.

"And you! Don’t even think to hurt Shinya. I will KILL you. I swear!" The taller guys left before Shinya and Shuichi could opened their mouth to say something. Shinya stared on Die’s back, feeling regret. He shouldn’t play with Die’s feeling.

"Who’s that BAKA ?!"

"You can’t call him like that!!" Shinya said coldly. Shuichi just shrugged.

"Okey….Shall we go back?"

The younger drummer sighed wearily. "Sorry Shuichi. I feel so tired. I want to go home."

"But you had said you’ll back with me. C’mon Shinya. Everybody like you a lot. They are waiting for you to join."

"I can’t …Shuichi…. I think the next time…"

"Next time?!….Shinya…. You don’t know how long I wait to see you again..."

Shinya blinked, the other guys sounded strange to his ears. "Urr…I would better go now."

"Promise me we will see each other in the next time." Holding the thin hand to his chest, pleading with shinning eyes.

Feeling dizzy. "….I can’t say at this moment…. Ah! …Taxi!!" Shinya waved. Thank god he could found one in this situation.

"Called me later!" Suichi asked before the car moved.

Shinya rested his head on the rest back, feeling so tired and tense. Shuichi always forced him to do this and that. Maybe, he should reduced giving this guy in touch.

* * *

The pub was just filled with soft music and few people. It didn’t take long time before Toshiya could see the guy in the dim light. He was hesitated to set himself on the seat next to the guy. This guy just looked up from his serene and went back to stare on the stage which the musicians were playing music. After the blue hair guy took order, the purple hair started to say.

"Do you know why I’m here?"

Toshiya didn’t answer but stared at the rings on his fingers. ‘He is so scary.’ Merely thought.

"I talked to you Toshiya. Don’t make me feel like talking to myself!"

"I …don’t know. Kaoru" Before being in this pub, he just received the call. From leader’s commanding voice, he had to be here.

"Do you have problem with Die?"

Toshiya was stunt. He couldn’t say anything though he knew he must say something.

"Don’t think I poke my nose into your business." Kaoru chuckled. "You both are the members of my band , as a leader, everything that concerns band, I have right to know. Don’t you think so ?"

"….you said you have very important thing to talk to me? Is that it?…"

"Kyo and Die are very worried about you. Go back to see them. I’m bored to here Kyo’s whimper."

"You don’t understand me. Kaoru." Toshiya tried to control himself, knowing his voice was shaking. He hates himself for being so sensitive and emotion.

Kaoru raised his eyebrows. "How do you know ? Okay….Since you never open your heart to me. You never actually talk to me. You think I’m scary, don’t you? C’mon…I won’t bite you. I’m older than you. I can give you advice."

The bassist took deep breath. "I guess you know everything then….What did Die say ?"

"He said he want to talk to you."

"He wants me back ?" he asked, hope shining in his heart.

"I don’t know but I guess so."

"I…I will back if he ask me." Biting his lip, hesitate before he spoke.

"He had done, but you didn’t even received his calls!" Kaoru laughed while the younger guy pouted.

"You don’t even be serious with my problem."

"Okay…I’m serious." Kaoru forced himself stop laughing. "I think I understand some of your problems. Are you sure you want him back?"

Toshiya paused thoughtfully. He knew he can’t change Die’s mind, one of these days Die would have told his heart not belong to him…. He just took advantage from that situation….. Finally Toshiya spoke carefully. "….He is so warm and all heart….really kind to me…so…"

"So stop playing with his heart." Kaoru continued.

Toshiya jerked, looking at Kaoru with surprise.

"I bet you know Die has some special feelings for Shinya and you wonder can your charisma work on Die ? You had seen it already…. Toshiya is so beautiful enough for some girls and guys that they are willing kneel to you, begging for your love. Let dumb Die alone. He’s blind!"

"How could you say that ?! Do you want me to break up with Die ?" The younger guy couldn’t take it anymore, tears fell down his smooth cheeks.

Kaoru merely stared, emotionless. "It’s for you Toshiya…. As far as I concern about you. I don’t want to see you get hurt !"

Toshiya covered his ears, shaking his head furiously. "No! No! Noooo! You just want to see me lose. You’re jealous on me! You can’t get Yoshiki. That guy only treats you as a secret lover…. You will never mean anything to him!! He dumped you….So….You take vengeance on me instead!" He choked while he rambling, refusing the truth.

The older guy clenched his fist. "Damn!…. I’m so sorry if you think about me that way! I KNOW THAT HURT! I never think something against you, Toshiya…. You don’t deserve that hurt. I just want to give you advice. I’ll try to help you !!…"

No protest, Toshiya sobbed, could aware the angry and sincere tone in his older companion. He kept his eyes on his fingers, didn’t dare to see Kaoru’s face. The older guy must be mad, he thought with fear. He slightly jerked when the older guys approached his head. Toshiya tightened his eyes shut when it touched. To his surprise, it smoothed his hairs gently and forced him lean on his chest. It’s so warm and comfort in this embrace.

"I understand how you feel…." The older guy sighed. "We can’t change other people’s mind…. it’s up to you. I pray that you will be lucky in love."

Toshiya inhaled the fragrance from the violet hair guy, feeling calm even though his tears rolled quietly. Now he realized Kaoru not be scary as he had thought for a long time...