Toshiya groaned as he was placed on the bed and light washed over the room. " Mmph, off it!" he yelled.

Die came out of the bathroom and dumped a damp towel over his face, effectively shutting him up. "You brat! Stay still!" he said as he cleaned Toshiya’s face. There were still slight traces of make-up but Die thought it wouldn’t hurt to leave them on till Toshiya sobered up and remove it himself. For the moment, he ran his fingertips along the gentle curve of the bassist’s delicate cheekbones.

He sighed. " Toshiya…" he kissed those cheekbones lightly. Toshiya seemed so fragile and Die felt the urge to engulf him in his arms and keep harm away from him. He started to pull back when Toshiya abruptly looped his arms around his neck and brought him down for a long passionate kiss. Die was stunned.

" Mm, you taste good!" the bassist giggled, licking his lips.

Die wiped his lips with the back of a hand, blushing furiously. "Don’t do that," he pouted slightly. But yet he smiled, got up and off the light, as he walked to the door.

" Don’t go…" Toshiya whispered as Die stood by the opened door. The room was now dark; Die’s figure was a silhouette against the brightness of the hotel corridor. "Don’t…" Toshiya’s voice was soft, pleading.

Die hesitated for a while but all uncertainties vanished when he heard a heart wrenching sob. "Totchi?" he voiced out, still inside the room.

" Why? Why doesn’t anyone like me?!" he cried out. Die felt something hit him hard in his face, and looked down to find an offending pillow at his feet. "I hate all of you! Fine, go! Leave!!!" And the young man began throwing various objects all over.

Die ducked all the flying objects and rushed to Toshiya, capturing his wrists to stop his insanity. "Toshiya! Stop!"

Toshiya’s watery eyes glared at him. "Why..? Can you tell me why…" The younger man collapsed on the bed, wrecked with sobs.

" Toshiya…" Die whispered as he released his hands. "Don’t…don’t cry."

Toshiya continued crying. In his drunken state, he threw himself on Die, hugging him fiercely as he cried onto his shoulder. Die, a little dazed, sat still, allowing the tears to seep into his top.

Toshiya…

Why do you hurt yourself like this?

Closing his eyes, Die wrapped his arms around the slimmer man and rocked back and forth in a comforting lullaby. He didn’t know how long they stayed like that. But they did until Toshiya’s sobs subsided. The bassist didn’t budge from the warmth of Die’s arms; in fact, he himself wrapped his arms around Die’s waist.

" Die-kun…?" he whispered.

" Hm?" the redhead loosened his hold and looked at the young man.

" Do you… do you love me?" Toshiya bit his lower lip. "Do you…?"

Die brought his hands up to cup Toshiya’s face. With his thumbs, he brushed the strands of hair that strayed across his face aside. Toshiya’s eyes were slightly watery and a few tears hung from his long eyelashes as they regarded Die’s face.

Beautiful… so beautiful…

Die lowered his head and pressed his lips softly against Toshiya’s. The younger man didn’t pull away; merely closing his eyes at the contact.

" Aishiteru, Toshiya," he brushed his lips over Toshiya’s again.

" Nn, Die-kun…" Toshiya looped his arms around Die’s neck and pulled him down above him. He kissed Die’s lips and hooked his legs around his waist. Die, aware of the intimate position, blushed furiously and tried to move away but Toshiya refused to let go of him. "You said you love me ne…" He began unbuckling Die’s pants. "Then make love to me," Toshiya hissed sexily as he pulled Die down by his collar.

Die found himself lost as Toshiya kissed him hard and rubbed the lower regions of their abdomens together. "Toshiya…Iie…"

Despite what he was saying, his body was already aroused and soon it overrode his common sense and he began kissing the bassist back with all his drunken passion and lust. Toshiya tilted his neck sideways as Die’s fingers slipped under his clothes, wincing as those fingers scraped over some of his raw wounds and cuts. He closed his eyes.

" Am I hurting you?" Die stopped and asked.

The younger man merely shook his head. His eyes bore into Die’s, trying to lose himself in those handsome eyes but somehow the tears returned as well as thoughts of -that- man… that man that raped annd abused him… Why did he always appear in his head?

Kaoru…

Toshiya brushed a lonely tear from his cheek. "Die, I want you to take me now…"

" Now?"

"Hai, now!" Toshiya sat up and climbed onto Die’s lap. "You’re not ready?" he kissed the man’s cheek as he slowly, erotically ground his hips into his groin.

Die moaned at the sensation and they began stripping off their clothing. He couldn’t help but stare at the scars marring the bassist’s lithe body when they were both naked. Toshiya noticed that and he outlined a scar that cut across his ribcage. "Ugly isn’t it?" he laughed dryly.

Die pulled Toshiya down on his lap, clutching his hands. "No…no. Not ugly. You’ll never be ugly to me! Toshiya is the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid my eyes on!" He kissed the knuckles, making Toshiya blush a little then giggle.

"You’re so…so silly yet romantic, Die-kun!" Toshiya pouted, wrapping his arms around Die’s neck. As he sat in his position, he could feel Die’s hard erection beneath him. "Die…?"

"Hm?"

Their eyes locked for a long while.

" Take me," Toshiya whispered.

Slowly Die entered him. Toshiya closed his eyes, arching against the man’s body. It didn’t feel that painful, not as painful as when it was with Kaoru. But for some reason, tears began rolling down from his eyes and wet his cheeks as Die made love to him.

Tears…

Silent tears…

Aisuru "anata" wasurerarezu…

...I can’t forget the ‘you’ that I loved…