Toshiya’s eyes fluttered open as the pressure on his lips disappeared and found himself staring into Kaoru’s cold eyes. He retreated a step and touched his swollen lips, his head bowed down slightly.

" I’ll be there."

***

" Die-kun…" Toshiya walked into the hall, bowing, and blushing as his eyes stole a glance at Die’s bareness. "Gomen ne…something came up..."

Die pouted sadly. "No dinner??"

Still looking down, Toshiya shook his head. "I’m really sorry but…"

" It’s something important? It’s okay! I’ll go home and grab something to eat." But Toshiya still looked a little bit guilty and subdued ever since that doorbell. "Who came?"

Toshiya felt his heart stop working. "A-ah…just the mailman," he lied and hoped Die didn’t see through it.

" I see…" Die went and changed into his clothes. As he was going out, he gave Toshiya a peck on his cheek, an innocent gesture of friendliness and affection but the younger man appeared uneasy. "Be careful." Hugging him close, Die didn’t feel like letting him go. Fuck whatever important stuff he had to do…

If he knew what was going to happen that night, he would never have let go.

******

Shinya sat alone on the wooden bench, staring out at the night view of the city. A pair of lovers walked by hand in hand. He felt his own heart fill with envy and longing. As if scolding himself, he shook his head and sighed as he reclined back onto the bench.

He stole a glance at his watch which ticked ever so slowly.

8.45…

He was late.

But he wasn’t very surprised…he probably got an emergency phone call from that you-know-who and has forgotten totally about this naïve drummer waiting by the sea for him. But would it kill him to give him a phone call?! Shinya began to fume. After all, he was the one who called him out on such a short notice. Gritting his teeth, Shinya got up from the bench.

Just then he heard a familiar voice calling him.

But he quickly started to walk, pretending that he didn’t hear.

" Wait, Shinya!!! Wait!"

A big hand closed around his thin arm and pulled him to a halt.

" Early aren’t you, Die-kun?" Shinya said sarcastically, looking at the still-panting man.

" I missed the train! Sorry! Sorry! Forgive me ne?" Die smiled apologetically as Shinya rolled his eyes. "Thank you, Shin-chan!"

" Well, I thought you had a date with Toshiya today?" Shinya asked.

" Ah, he had some important stuff to attend to…poor Die…" Die pouted and wrapped an arm around Shinya’s waist. "But at least kind Shinya will be accompanying Die-chan tonight right?" Die teased him.

Shinya rolled his eyes and ignored the guitarist.

***

When he arrived at Kaoru’s place, Toshiya found his door ajar; soft music flowing out. He pushed the door open and the apartment was dark with no lights on. His heart was beating hard against his ribcage, so hard he thought he heard it. He took a step in. "Kaoru…?"

No answer.

He bit his lips. Maybe Kaoru wasn’t in…maybe he had some other thing to do…yes, he should leave…forget coming here…it was all a mistake…

Do you want me to be angry?

Toshiya closed his eyes, the soft music, yes, classical music, luring him into the trap he knew he could not and would never escape.

" Just on time."

Trapped.

Toshiya’s eyes flew to the darkest corner of the living room where a man sat, nothing visible but the faint glowing end of his cigarette, but he knew it was Kaoru. He could feel it; could feel his eyes feeding on his body just like how his fingers would…soon. A strange feeling coursed through Toshiya’s body; almost like a thrill.

Outside, a lightning struck, illuminating the living room with sudden light. Toshiya caught a glance of Kaoru, a cigarette between his parted lips, a glass of red wine balancing between his fingers. "Come here…" His voice cold, demanding, as it sent out invisible tendrils pulling Toshiya to him.

Light flooded the living room as Kaoru flicked at the switch, his eyes inspecting Toshiya’s face. "Come nearer," he beckoned with his index finger.

Toshiya took a small step forward, his feet merely inches away from Kaoru’s. His heart was beating fast and hard against his ribs and he gulped nervously; his eyes closed in premonition of the dread to come. When he opened them again, he noticed the whip lying on the armrest of Kaoru’s seat, noticed how Kaoru’s smooth fingers dropped the stub of cigarette onto the floor and how those fingers wrapped around the handle.

" Undress."

" Kaoru…please…" Toshiya pleaded.

The whip lashed out angrily at him; it tore the right sleeve of his shirt as he cried out in pain. " Don’t make me angry," Kaoru said coldly, coiling the whip around his right hand.

Tears began to form in Toshiya’s eyes even as his trembling fingers undid his own top. His clothes; blouse and pants and undergarment fell in a heap around his feet as he stood naked before Kaoru. Damp trails of tears streaked his fair complexion.

Kaoru’s eyes fed on his body, lingering over every curve and plane. Red scars ruined the otherwise white and flawless skin. Red scars that he had crafted on that beautiful body…as his mark…

" You’re so beautiful…did Die ever tell you that?" Kaoru said as he rose from his seat, his fingers running lightly over Toshiya’s wet cheeks. "Even when you’re crying…" He kissed those cheeks; the sudden gentleness shocking Toshiya who did nothing but stand there for Kaoru. "Especially when you are crying."

Kaoru brushed his lips over Toshiya’s lightly. "Does he kiss you like this?"

His hands slid down Toshiya’s back, ignoring his whimpers as his nails ran over some raw wounds, to cup the round cheeks of his buttocks. "Touches you like this? Kind and gentle…unlike me?" Toshiya moaned as Kaoru’s fingers delve between the cleft to massage his opening. His arms wrapped voluntarily around Kaoru’s shoulders, submitting himself to the man like he had many times in the past…despite the hurt and pain that would surely come behind this disguise of sweet and tender touches…

" Kaoru…"

A lonely fresh tear sprang from his eyes and rolled down his cheek gently.

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You don’t know how much I hurt to be near you…to be so near yet enclosed in this cage…