Toshiya woke up with his body aching and his throat dry and painful. Taking slow, painful steps, Toshiya made it to the kitchen for water. Kaoru had gone but he had left a note for him.

Take today off. K.

***

Kaoru came in an hour late, but his face was cheery and all smiles. Die wondered why.

" How’s Toshiya?" he asked when they were having a cigarette break outside. They were leaning over the railing, looking down at the passing cars and passing people as the flicked the grey ashes down onto the streets.

" He’s fine." The older guitarist took a deep drag from his cigarette. A small smile of amusement came to his lips…for some weird reason, it appeared to Die as a smile of satisfaction…of victory. Die’s brows knitted closely together. "You like him, don’t you?" Kaoru’s question shook him out of his thoughts.

His eyes moved sideways to see Kaoru had turned around to face him, an elbow supporting him against the rusty metal bar. He was smiling but that smile sent shivers to Die’s spine. The redhead didn’t answer the question as Kaoru flicked the butt of his cigarette over his shoulders. But he didn’t miss the snort Kaoru gave him as he turned on his heels and walked back inside.

It was then, in the windy chilly evening, that it struck Die.

***

Die pressed the doorbell again for the umpteenth time, worry creeping into his heart. He was about to press again when he heard the soft padding coming from the other side. When he saw Toshiya opening the door, he breathed in relief.

" Eh? Die-kun!" Toshiya’s eyes lit up with surprise.

" Hi, am I welcomed?" Die asked, poking his head into the young man’s apartment, pretending to check if the coast was clear.

" Of course you are, silly!" Toshiya pulled Die in, pouting playfully, and closed the door. Toshiya was in his pyjamas, one with Tare-Pandas all over the place. Die thought it looked pretty cute on Toshiya.

" How are you?" Die conveniently settled himself on the counter top in the kitchen and fetched a can of beer from the fridge for himself. "Kaoru said you were not well."

Toshiya tensed up at the mention of his name. Taking a deep breath, he schooled himself back with composure. "Oh, just a flu, I think…" he shrugged, getting a box drink and walking out, leaving Die in the kitchen.

" Sou desu ne…" Die followed him.

They both sat on the couch, silence hovering uncomfortably in the air. Die stole a glance at the bassist’s profile. He seems to be thinking, his mind far away. Die could still see the faded bruises on his white neck…the closer he looked, the more they appeared like bite marks…One hand stretched out to touch a reddish spot. Toshiya’s eyes flew open as he scooted away from him.

" Huh?!"

Die rubbed his thumb over it. "A love bite…" His mouth twitched a little.

Toshiya stared at the guitarist, no words coming from him.

" Tell me…is it… Is it him?" Die’s voice was soft, barely a whisper, but Toshiya heard him.

" Him? Who?" Toshiya tried to pull away but Die held him firmly by his right arm.

Die didn’t want to believe it but he had a feeling, his instinct, telling him it was -him- who had done these to Toshiya. He who had hurt Toshiya. And he felt angry. And sad. Angry because he treated the younger man like this…Sad because Toshiya let him treat him this way…Sad because Toshiya didn’t trust him enough to tell him.

" Die! Please let me go!" Toshiya squirmed uneasily. "I don’t know what you’re talking about."

Die gritted his teeth. "You know exactly what I’m talking about!" he snapped at him. Toshiya gasped at his outburst.

"It’s Kaoru, isn’t it?!"

Toshiya started to cry as he shook his head violently.

" Don’t lie to me!" Die yelled at him, making him cry harder and curl into a ball at the corner of the couch.

Toshiya hugged his knees tightly to his chest as he cried. "Please…please don’t hurt me!" he plead. His tears soaked his pyjamas pants. "…don’t…"

Die pulled back, looking at the wrecked figure that was Toshiya and felt his own heart twist with unspeakable pain, torn. Toshiya’s body was shaking. Die pursed his lips.

Toshiya flinched a little when Die wrapped his arms around him. Then slowly he relaxed, wiping his tear-streaked face. "I’m sorry…" he whispered in attempt to soothe the young man. Toshiya clutched to his shirt as if longing for the warmth and security. "I would never, ever hurt you, Toshiya…please trust me."

" Die, do you hate me?" his voice cracked with sobs. His round eyes looked up and searched Die’s face.

Die held him closer to his chest. "Of course I don’t hate you!"

" Then…" Toshiya stifled his sobs, swallowing them down. "…then please don’t say anything to Kaoru or to anyone about this."

" But…I don’t want him to hurt you," Die said, stroking his back.

" If he…If you bring this up…he’ll hurt me more."

" He’ll hurt me more if he finds out about this."

" I want to kill that son of a bitch!" Die swore. "How could he do this to you!? Bastard!"

" Die, promise me you won’t tell Kaoru anything about this," Toshiya bit his lips.

He hurt Toshiya…

A frown carved his face but he dismissed it quickly as he embraced Toshiya, running his fingers through his fine hair. Toshiya smelt so sweet… so sweet, so pure…

" Sure, I promise you…"

I won’t let him hurt you, Toshiya…