Vicious Cycle

By: Kurara

*part 2*

Kaoru stepped out of the elevator and noticed his neighbor by his door, near something covered in a blanket.  “Keika?”  He called out.   “What are you doing?  It’s late!” 

Keika looked up and turned her attention to the blanketed man.  “He won’t wake up, and he’s burning up.” 

Kaoru walked up and gasped, falling to his knees beside Keika and brushing his fingers over the man’s face.  “Shinya…” 

“You know him?”

 Kaoru nodded.  “He’s my koi—er, bandmate.”

 Keika blinked at him, wondering, but dismissed it as none of her business.  “Well, I have to go, unless you want me to stay?”

 Kaoru shook his head.  “I can take care of him.”

 “Okay.”  Keika stood up and smiled.  “I hope he feels better.”

 “Arigato.”  Kaoru unlocked his apartment and took Shinya in, laying him on his bed.  He pulled the covers over the drummer and almost kissed his lips, but stopped, hovering over him.  What am I doing?  He’s not mine anymore!  He got up and made a damp towel for Shinya’s head.  He laid the towel across Shinya’s forehead.  Kaoru laid on the bed next to Shinya, his hand brushing hairs out of the drummer’s face.  “Shinya…” his face was soft.  “I’m supposed to be mad at you, you know?  But… I can’t… at practice, I get insanely jealous, but… but I’m never mad at you…”  He closed his eyes, not noticing that Shinya’s eyes flickered open.  “I can’t stop loving you…” 

Shinya painfully smiled, convinced he was still asleep, and drifted off once again.

 *

 “Awake?”  Kaoru’s face greeted Shinya’s as he turned his head. 

“Kaoru…” Shinya tried to sit up, but felt totally weak.  “Where…?” 

Kaoru brushed Shinya’s hair out of his face.  “My place.” 

“Why?”

 “Baka.”  Kaoru smiled.  “I should ask you the same.  What were you doing in front of my apato?”

 Shinya tried to fall under the sheets, but Kaoru pulled the sheet off his head and his face demanded an answer.  “Well, I… I want to apologize.”  Kaoru lifted an eyebrow.  “About that night… I know it won’t help any to say this now, but, after our fright, I went drinking.  I was drunk and I saw Toshiya who was also drunk, and I thought he was you.”  Shinya turned away and curled up.  “I just wanted you to know the truth… I’d never want to do anything to hurt you, and I’d never be unfaithful…”

 “What about Die?”   Kaoru asked after a moment.

 “Die?” 

Kaoru nodded.  “After we were going out, I started to notice that you had an affinity for him.  If he is around, you seem… distracted.”  Shinya’s face was in shock, as he’d never thought of the other guitarist that way.  “So, it seems like your heart is divided.  I want you, Shinya.  I want to be the only one in your eyes, but, if you’re distracted by Die, then… then maybe I’m not good enough for you.”  Shinya’s heart shattered.  “Maybe I’m not what you need.  Maybe… maybe Die is.”  Kaoru whispered.

 *

 “He wants you to WHAT?!”  Kyo screamed. 

Shinya nodded.  “He wants me to spend more time with Die.”

 “He wants you to see if you love Die?”  Kyo shook his head.   “That baka.  He shouldn’t be playing with hearts like that.  This  will effect everyone.” 

“Eh?” 

“Well, first of all, this means that if Die has anything for you, you may be leading him on with any affection.  Also, Toshiya seems to have something for Die.  And, if you end up finding out you love Die, then Kaoru will be hurt.”  Kyo reached for his cigarettes, but stopped, remembering Shinya’s hate of the sticks.

 “What about you?  Do you fall into this love… thing?”

 “I don’t.  I’ve always been left out of these, so, I went out and found someone.”

 “Who?”

 Kyo grinned.  “Gackt.”

 Shinya’s eyes bugged out.   “GACKT?!”

 “Ughn!  In fact, he’s picking me up in just a few minutes.”   He smiled.  “But, anyway, I can’t say I like the idea Kaoru is proposing, but, I do think you should figure out about Die.”

 Shinya sighed.  “I guess that’s the only way.”

 A knock came from the door and Kyo hugged Shinya.  “Well, good luck!  Ja ne!”

 Shinya walked back to the practice room and saw Die finishing up.  Kaoru walked out and gave a slight smile.  Shinya sighed and sat next to Die.  Die looked up and smiled.  “Hey Shinya.” 

“Hey.”  Shinya said before going silent and jus watching the other guitarist, who would look up every so often and smile warmly.  “Uh, Die?”  He said after a while.  “Do you… uh… have any plans?” 

Die blinked.  “No, why?”

 “Well, uh, I… I’m free tonight. Thought we might do something tonight?”  He looked up with hope. 

Die smiled.  “Sure.”  He patted Shinya’s shoulder and stood up.  “I have to change, so I’ll pick you up at eight?” 

Shinya nodded.  “Okay.  Let me give you my address…” Shinya grabbed a paper and scrawled the information down.  “Okay!  See you in a few!”

 * 

“Beatya again!”  Die did a small victory dance on his side of the air hockey table as Shinya blinked in shock.

 I was so close!  One point!  “Another round!”  Shinya demanded.

 “But, we’ve played sixteen times already!”  Die pouted.

 “Well, we’ll do seventeen!  I’ve GOT to win!”

 Die sighed.  “We’ll be here all night.”  He mumbled.

 “What?!”  Shinya ran around the table and grabbed Die’s shirt.  “Do you doubt that I can win?”

 Die grinned.  “Maybe.  Why don’t you prove me wrong?”

 “Mou!”  Shinya went back to his side.  “Come on!  One more!”

 “Okay.”  They played another round, a tight game, and Die, feeling sympathetic, let the drummer win.  Shinya’s eyes lit up and he bounced up and down in triumph as Die smiled.

 Shinya ran up to Die and hugged him.  “I won!   I actually won!”

 Die laughed “Just how much sugar have you had today?”

 Shinya smiled.  “None!”

 “Really?  Should we gets some then?  I think so!”  Die put his arm around Shinya’s waist and held him close.  “Come, let’s go to that new place, uh, Cinnabon I think it’s called.”

 “Okay.”  They walked to Cinnabon and ordered cinnamon rolls and soda.   Shinya ate it slowly, but Die ate pretty fast, ending up sitting, looking at Shinya as he sipped his soda.  Shinya would look up every so often and smile, licking the icing off of his lips.  When Shinya was finished, he started to lick and suck the icing off of his fingertips.  Die stared and moved uncomfortably, trying not to allow the scene to arouse him.  Shinya noticed and stopped, his left index finger in his mouth, and looked at Die.  “What’s wrong?”  He asked, the finger still in his mouth.

 Die shook his head.  “N-nothing!”  He smiled.

 Shinya looked at his finger.   “Really?  You sure?  Sure this isn’t too…” he licked his finger sensuously, “erotic for you?”  Mentally, Shinya slapped himself.  Stop coming on to Die!

 Die laughed and grabbed Shinya’s wrist, bringing a sticky finger to his lips.  “Oh yeah…” he said in a joking way before licking the tip.

 Shinya jumped up and giggled.   “Die-kun!”

 “Mmm… this tastes good.”  Die licked all the icing off of that finger, leaving Shinya’s fingers now all cleaned off.  Die stood up and wrapped Shinya in an embrace.  “This day was fun.”  He said.

 Shinya blushed.  “Yeah.”

 “Want to do it again tomorrow?”    Dies asked, leading Shinya back to his car.

 Shinya nodded.  “Okay!”

 They got into the car and Die started to drive.  “So, tomorrow night we go?”

 Shinya thought for a moment.   “Well, I’m not doing anything, so, sure!”

 They got to Shinya’s apartment and Die walked with Shinya up to the door.  Shinya unlocked his door and turned to Die.  “So, tomorrow after practice?”  Die asked.  Shinya nodded.

 “Okay.”  He hugged Die.  “Thanks.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 Die quickly kissed Shinya’s cheek.  “See you.”  He smiled and left.

 Shinya walked into his apartment and lifted his hand to his cheek.  “Die…”

 *

 Toshiya latched his arm around Die’s shoulders and growled in his ear.  “Die… let’s go have fun tonight, ne?”

 Die smiled.  “I’d love to, but I’m going out with Shinya tonight.”

 Toshiya drew back.  With… Shinya?  “Oh, okay…” he replied distantly, “have fun.”  He glanced at Shinya.  I wish I never slept with him… I’d have a chance with Die…   Kaoru walked past.  But… maybe I can have fun with Kaoru tonight… maybe I can forget Die…  He took off at a run and jumped on Kaoru’s back.  Luckily, Kaoru had heard Toshiya running up and caught him.  Toshiya nuzzled his head in the crook of Kaoru’s neck.  “Ne, Kao-kao, let’s go out tonight, ne?  You look like you need a drink!”

 Kaoru sighed.  “To—“

 “Please!  Die won’t go with me cuz he’s going out with Shin-shin tonight!”

 “With…” Kaoru sighed.  You told him to.   Obviously he prefers him.  Kaoru turned to face Toshiya.  “I guess so.”

 Toshiya hopped off.  “Yatta!  Pick me up in two hours!  Ja!”  Toshiya ran off to his apato.

 Shinya sighed, after seeing the display.  Maybe he told me to go with Die so he could go with Toshiya…  Shinya stood up and went to Die.  I’ve lost Kaoru for good…

 *

 Shinya ran quickly, giggling as Die chased him through the sand.  He was barefoot and the soft sand squished through his toes and the water of the ocean washed every so often over his feet, Shinya looked over his shoulder and saw Die gaining.   He sped up, laughing.  “You can’t catch me!”

 “Oh yeah?”  Die sped up and caught Shinya around the waist, pulling him down to the ground and twisting so Shinya’d lay on him.  He held Shinya down on himself.  “So, I can’t get you, huh?”

 Shinya struggled and saw another small wave coming.  He didn’t warn Die as it was too low to do much, but Die yelped as the water washed over his hair and under his back.  He let Shinya go and Shinya stood up over Die, grinning.  “Look Die! You’re all wet!”

 Die held up his hands.  “Help me up?”  Shinya took the hands and prepared to lift him, but Die flashed a grin and pulled Shinya on top of himself.  Die wrapped his arms around Shinya and Shinya’s eyes starred directly down into Die’s.  Then Die placed his hands on Shinya’s hips firmly, flipping their positions.  “There, that’s better.”

 Shinya stuck out his tongue.   “Now my clothes are dirty!”

 “Aw…”  He poked Shinya’s nose.  “Now your clothes know how my clothes feel!”

 “Hmph.  Well, can I get up now?”

 “Iie.”  He looked toward the ocean. “Not until you get a wave too.”

 Shinya struggled.  “Iie!  I don’t want a wave!”  He tried to push Die off, but Die grabbed Shinya’s wrists, holding them over the drummer’s head.

 Now Die’s face was a mere two centimeters away from Shinya’s and they were silent.  It’s the best chance…  Die lowered his head and brushed his lips against Shinya’s.  He went slowly at first, and pulled back, searching for a reaction.  Seeing none, he went back down and this time, Shinya responded.  A wave passed under them, causing Shinya to lift up slightly.  They parted and looked in each other’s eyes.  “Shinya….”

 Oh my God!  I just was kissing Die… but… he’s with Toshiya now, so, I have to move on… Kaoru doesn’t…  Die lifted Shinya up and they went back to their shoes.  They sat on the sand and Die pulled Shinya up against himself.

 Die held Shinya close, smiling softly.  “Shinya?”

 “Hm?”

 “Would you… stay with me?”

 Shinya pulled away.  “What?”

 Die cast his gaze down.  “Well, Shinya, I’ve wanted to be with you for so long and… well, now I think that maybe you feel something too?  I’d want to be your boyfriend…”

 Shinya bit his lip.  Yes, there IS an attraction, I’ll admit that, but… Kaoru…  Mentally, Shinya shook his head.  Kaoru is with Toshiya now.  He doesn’t want me, he even SUGGESTED I go with Die.  And, Die’s a nice guy, and a good kisser…  Shinya blushed.  “Okay.”

 *

 -Kaoru’s apartment- Kaoru poked Toshiya in the chest.  “You…” he looked up with glazed eyes, “are fucking beautiful… I just want to –hic!- screw you here and now, you know?”  He laughed.

 Toshiya climbed into Kaoru’s lap and poked his forehead.  “And yoooooou my friend…” he almost fell back, but Kaoru held him, “are fucking drunk!”

 Kaoru pulled Toshiya into a sloppy kiss.  “Well!  It seems you are too!  Now how ‘bout that?!”

 Toshiya’s hand fondled the bulge in front of Kaoru’s pants.  “You know, they –hic!- say that… drinking makes you…” Toshiya showed a finger to Kaoru, straightened it, then, with a funny sound, made the finger go limp.   He giggled.  “Think you can keep it up?”

 Kaoru pouted.  “I can do more than just keep it up damn it!  I can fuck your brains out!”  He declared proudly.

 “Really?  Let’s test that!”  Toshiya grinned.

 *

 “Ugh…” Kaoru put a hand to his forehead.  “Hangover.”  He muttered.   He started to get up, but felt arms wrapped around his naked body.  Out of habit, he said, “Let go Shinya…” but when the other didn’t wake up, he pried the arms away… and saw the owner’s face.  “Oh, shit…”

...to be continued...

***

kurara@jshock.i-p.com  

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