***

There were few people in the café. Sitting in one of the corner table were two people who suspiciously looked like bishounen wearing skirts.

Toshiya held his chin staring at Shinya who sat opposite him. The drummer looked sad. He didn’t say anything ever since he arrived. Toshiya pouted waving his hand in front of Shinya’s face. There was no reaction. Toshiya raised an eyebrow. Something weird was going on!

"Shinya…?" he asked carefully. He waved his hand again but Shinya didn’t even look at him.

"Oi! Shinya!!!" he clapped his hands right in front of the drummer’s face. Shinya blinked few times; finally jerked his head up staring confusedly at the bassist. Toshiya sighed,

"Finally! What’s wrong?"

Shinya pouted.

"Die, isn’t it? What did he do now?" Toshiya raised an eyebrow. Suddenly he gasped as Shinya started to cry. He panicked.

"Shinya…" he bit his fingernail…Uh-Oh!

"Die doesn’t love me anymore…" he said weakly. Toshiya laughed, "Ya…whatever…" but he stopped looking at the sobbing Shinya. Toshiya gulped. He too began to cry. His eyes were filled with tears. When he blinked drops of tears rolled down his cheeks. Toshiya couldn’t take it when somebody cried in front of him. Especially Shinya, his good friend…

"He said…he’s bored of me…Die said I’m boring…" Shinya said softly through his sobs.

"Maybe he was joking…maybe nothing actually goes wrong…maybe he didn’t mean it…" Toshiya tried to say something…but…

"Maybe…maybe…no such thing, Toshiya…he doesn’t love me anymore…all those promises he said…they were all nothing! I love him so much…but he …he said our relationship is going nowhere…"

Toshiya pouted and quickly wiped his tears away. He moved his hands and brushed Shinya’s wet cheeks gently. He tried to smile.

"Shinya…don’t cry…"

"What should I do?" Shinya stopped crying.

Toshiya closed his eyes, thinking…suddenly he opened them, smiling brightly to Shinya. The drummer raised both eyebrows, confused.

‘I know…!" Toshiya clapped his hands loudly.

"Hm?"

"Dump him before he dumps you!" Toshiya smiled but he pouted seeing Shinya’s glare. Toshiya shrugged. He shouldn’t have said that…he shouldn’t have…Suddenly Shinya spoke,

"I don’t know how…"

Toshiya smiled brightly, "I can teach you how…if you want me to…"he said carefully looking at Shinya.

*

Die was sitting on the couch in his apartment. He stared at the T.V in front of him. He sighed; life is so boring…life sucks…I want to have fun…

"Bored of your life? Go for holiday! We offer you a trip to Jamaica only half price during promotion time! Quickly call us! Before it’s too late! We guarantee fun for you!"

Die raised an eyebrow listening to the advertisement. He pouted, Jamaica looks fun…I’ve never been there…maybe it’s cool! The TV showed an island with its beautiful beaches and rocks. Die leaned forward looking at the beautiful scenery. He quickly grabbed paper and pen writing down the travel agent’s number shown on TV. Then he stared at the paper for a while.

Imagine this…me and Shinya…under the coconut tree on the sand watching sunset in a quiet beach…Die shut his eyes. He could imagine how tanned he would be; and he would apply sun block on Shinya…so he would stay fair…then they would run along the beach…playing in the sea…and in the resort they would have a pillow fight…and ended up making out…then he would tell Shinya how much he loved him…

Die sighed…it was all imagination…he wished it would really happened.

*

"What?"

"He’s in the living room…watching TV" Shinya had called up Toshiya telling him that he would break up with Die as soon as possible. Shinya walked around the room nervously. He could hear Toshiya gasped in surprise on the other side.

"Seriously?! Right now?! Are you sure…you probably regret it!" Toshiya yelled. Shinya pouted thinking that he wouldn’t regret the decision…but how if he did? He walked towards the door and opened it. Peeping, he could see Die sitting on the couch. The guitarist’s eyes were shut, and he was smiling to himself.

"You know he looks a bit weird right now? He is smiling alone…I wonder what he’s thinking…" Shinya whispered.

"Well…maybe about you…" Toshiya smiled sadly. He wished he never suggested he idea of breaking up to Shinya. He didn’t know Shinya was that serious.

Shinya bit his lip, "This will be hard for me…" he shook his head slowly. Toshiya smiled, "Of course it will! You love him! Shinya…don’t do this…don’t let me live in guilt!" Toshiya pleaded. Shinya pouted, ‘Excuse me! How about –me-? He doesn’t love me anymore! I’ve told you he told me I was boring…" Shinya spoke in anger. His eyes were filled with tears. Toshiya sighed. Shinya peeped again.

"Oh my…he’s without his shirt…" Shinya spoke softly.

Toshiya raised an eyebrow, "So…?"

"Makes it even harder for me…!" Shinya raised his voice.

Toshiya laughed, "I wonder how the hell are you going to do it…"

"You are not helping me!" Shinya sulked. Toshiya sneered, ‘I don’t want you to dump him" Shinya pouted again and gulped, "I’m doing it now! Don’t disturb me! Ja!" he cut off the phone.

Toshiya blinked few times, innocently. He stared at the phone in disbelief. No way!

*

Shinya walked out of the room. Die turned his head looking at his lover; then he smiled. Shinya frowned seeing that cute smile. But Die had told him that night…

Come on Shinya…I never really go out anymore! I’m kind of stuck with you…know what I mean?

It was a really short conversation but it left a deep scar on Shinya’s heart. How could Die say that? How could Die…Shinya had cried himself to sleep that night. Die didn’t even know that…he didn’t care…

"Can we talk?" Shinya stood frozen in front of him.

"Sure" Die leaned forward staring at the drummer. Shinya bit his lip.

"I don’t think we should go out anymore!" Shinya stated dryly. Die blinked his eyes. For a few seconds his mind couldn’t catch what Shinya had just said.

"Huh?"

"I’ll get out of here as soon as possible!" Shinya turned away and rushed to the room. When Die finally caught what he had just heard, he stormed into the room, yelling, "What? Why?"

Shinya frowned as the door was slammed open. He started to pack all his stuff. Die stared at Shinya while he walked to the cupboard and took all his clothes out. The guitarist looked at him confusedly.

"Shinya! ANSWER ME!!!" Die yelled angrily. Shinya winced. He was scared…but…

"Because!" Shinya couched. "We are getting nowhere. You said this is boring…and you’re stuck with me!" Shinya yelled without even looking at Die. The guitarist joined his eyebrows. Shinya stopped packing for a second; sighed then walked into the bathroom getting all his stuff. Die scratched his head, confused.

"Shin-chan…" he pleaded and Shinya felt being pulled into Die’s arms. "I didn’t mean it!" Die hugged him tightly. Shinya shut his eyes, this is heaven…

"You know I love you…" Die whispered near his ear and bent down kissing Shinya’s neck. The drummer blushed as he could feel his heartbeat grew faster. "Let go…" he said weakly. "I’m leaving!" he pushed Die away. But Die tightened his hug, "No!" the guitarist closed his eyes. He could smell the scent of Shinya’s hair. Then he smiled remembering the first time he had the chance to touch it. That moment was so beautiful. Die sighed, everything about Shinya was beautiful…

"let go!" Shinya yelled and pushed Die aside roughly. "I’m leaving!" he started to pack again. Die joined his eyebrows and yelled back, "I said no…!" he moved forward started to pick out all Shinya’s stuff from the bag and threw them on the bed. "…Means NO!" Shinya gasped as Die grabbed his chin. "Why do you do this?" he shot sharp stare into Shinya’s eyes. Shinya looked back at him and the drummer could see how angry Die was…

Fear crept into him. But he wouldn’t let Die had him this time…

"I’m boring right? I’m so boring I know that! You don’t have to tell me! Go away. Die!" Shinya hit Die’s arm, yelling. Die looked surprise. "Is that why?" he let Shinya go. The drummer quickly started to pack again.

"Shin-chan…" Die’s voice was so soft that Shinya cursed himself for doing this. Die stood behind him, staring at him packing.

‘I. Didn’t. Mean. It!" Die said firmly. Then the guitarist moved forward holding Shinya’s arm. Shinya pushed him away, "No! I don’t trust you anymore! I hate when…" Shinya stopped.

Die stared at him in shock.

"What?"

Shinya looked at him.

"You hate me?" a flash of pain crossed his face as he asked the younger man.

This is out of context, he thought. But he couldn’t turn back the time…he had said something not from his heart…he never hated Die…never! But Die was ‘stuck’ with him…Die was getting bored of him…and before he hurt himself any further…he had to go away. So he stood there frozen without answering that question. He knew the answer would be a simple ‘no’ but it was probably better for him not to say it. Maybe it would be better this way…for both of them. Then he turned away, started packing again.

"I’m just gonna leave, Die" that was the last thing he said.

Die shook his head and turned away, "Go then…where ever hell you want to…" he sounded different. Usually he would’ve yelled…but now, he spoke softly…quietly…as if there was no strength to talk. Then he walked away slamming the door behind him.

Tears rolled down Shinya’s cheeks as he shut his eyes.

***

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