***

"Ouch!" Toshiya winced as he walked. Shinya bit his lip seeing the bassist’s expression. They were in the rehearsal room waiting for Yoshiki. Kaoru and Die had gone to the rest area to smoke. Kyo took the time sleeping peacefully on the couch. The drummer hadn’t seen Die since he arrived. He hoped he didn’t have to.

It’s the same woman…how dare he said he loved me?! Shinya’s eyes slit in anger. Toshiya sat on the couch carefully. The bassist winced again.

"I can’t believe you did it!" Shinya shook his head and spoke softly. Toshiya pouted, "It was a proof that I could do it!"

"Iie! Toshiya, I was only joking!" Shinya defended. He couldn’t believe Toshiya took him seriously. The bassist did it in the end, with Hakuei-san somewhere around the club while Shinya ran off with taxi.

"How about you?" Toshiya asked whispering near Shinya. He leaned back on the couch trying to make himself comfortable. "Did you go back straight away?" Shinya nodded his head.

‘The time we ran away from them was the last time I saw Sugizo-san" Shinya said dryly. Toshiya giggled, "I bet he’s really pissed with Hakuei! His partner in crime got some…from me…" Toshiya sighed remembering what happened last night. "he’s good you know…?" Shinya twisted his lips, ‘I could –see- that…what a surprise…" Toshiya giggled again but winced as he moved his hips accidentally.

"Where on earth did you do it?" Shinya finally asked curiously. Toshiya rolled his eyes, "it wasn’t that bad…we did it in that dark alley behind the club" Shinya widened his eyes.

"Why do you think it hurts? He’s big and rough…and I was leaning on the hard wall…" Shinya covered his mouth as he couldn’t stop laughing. The way Toshiya put it so casually…

Suddenly the door opened and Die walked in followed by Kaoru. Shinya fumed as he smelt cigarette’s smoke. Kaoru saw Toshiya leaning on the couch looking sick. So he bent down in front of the bassist.

"hey…what’s wrong with you?" he asked carefully but Toshiya only turned away. Kaoru joined his eyebrows, "Toshiya…?" the younger man blushed and closed his eyes. Kaoru glanced at Shinya for an answer. The drummer shrugged. He was not going to tell Kaoru what happened because Die would find out. Kaoru stared at him for a long long time. Finally Shinya sighed,

"Toshiya is sick…" Shinya simply said. The bassist opened his eyes and glared at him. Shinya giggled, "He’s really sick…" Toshiya moved his leg and kicked the drummer. Both of them winced at the same time. Shinya pouted and rubbed his leg. Toshiya tried not to touch his hips in front of Kaoru. Soon he realized Die was glaring at him. Kyo finally woke up as Kaoru sat beside him.

Almost everyone sighed as Yoshiki entered the room.

*

"Shinya…"

"Hai!" Shinya bowed blushing as the producer called him. The meeting had just ended and everyone was getting ready for practice. Die joined his eyebrows and looked at them suspiciously. That blush on Shinya’s cheeks was usual but that nervous gesture Yoshiki had…that was unusual!

"Ano…don’t take me wrong…" Yoshiki began. He held an envelope in his hand. ‘There is an invitation to a friend’s birthday party for tonight…and I thought because you looked extremely quiet these days…" Yoshiki put a hand in his pocket. Shinya widened his eyes staring at the envelope.

"A person can bring a partner…so if you’re free this evening…" Yoshiki stuttered but decided to lift his head up looking at Shinya for an answer. Shinya gulped.

"This is not a date…" Yoshiki didn’t finished the sentence because Shinya smiled, somehow, in relief. The drummer nodded, "I know…"

Die narrowed his eyes. His heart jumped against his chest. What was that envelope thing? Why did they stay quiet? What was going on?

Shinya nodded to the older man, "I’m free this evening…I have no plan…so…" he looked at the producer with blushing cheeks. Yoshiki smiled. He blushed too. (ah…that feeling…J -L7) Yoshiki blushed at himself acting like a teenager. What’s that blushing thing, Yoshiki? This wasn’t a date only an invitation…he told himself.

Die stood frozen by his own anger and jealousy. What was that about? Yoshiki smiled to Shinya then walked away. Shinya watched him until he disappeared at the end of the corridor. Then he saw Shinya leaned on the wall with shaking knees (not literally-L7) the drummer then covered his face and jumped happily without making any noise. Shinya obviously didn’t know somebody was watching him…the whole time.

Shinya stormed into the rehearsal room with wide smile painted on his face. He quickly ran to Toshiya. He whispered something then Toshiya gasped in disbelief. Shinya hugged the bassist tightly with a bright smile and laughed sheepishly as Toshiya winced in pain. Shinya must’ve hurt Toshiya’s hips. Then Kyo joined in and pouted as Shinya told him what happened.

Kaoru raised an eyebrow seeing Shinya so happy. He knew they wouldn’t tell him what was going on but decided maybe he should give it a try. So he walked towards those three.

"What’s happening? You look really happy, Shinya" Kaoru smiled seeing Shinya’s bright eyes. The drummer sat down quietly for a while. He looked like as if he was thinking. Kaoru sighed as everyone fell silent. Toshiya turned away nervously as Kyo only grinned. The guitarist pouted, no one told him want happened.

"Come on Shi-chan, aren’t we bandmates? I want to know what happen!" Kaoru asked in a pleading tone. Shinya smiled widely. Kaoru admitted that he was ‘slightly’ dazzled by it. Toshiya glared. Kyo finally opened his mouth, "Shinya, better tell him so he gets jealous! Not everyday a fan gets this kind of invitation from his idol" Shinya grinned wickedly to Kaoru while the guitarist raised an eyebrow.

"Nani?"

So Shinya told him. Kaoru pouted, "That’s unfair! Shinya you lucky little punk!" Kaoru yelled as he pushed Shinya down the couch. Shinya giggled as small fingers tickled him. "That’s not fair! How come Hide-san didn’t do that to me?" Kaoru was only joking when he said that.

"Because he’s dead"

Everyone turned as a cold voice replied. Toshiya turned away. Kaoru looked at him in disbelief. He didn’t expect Toshiya said such a ‘mean’ thing to him.

"I know that, Toshiya. That’s why I said it’s not fair for me! But you don’t have to say such a painful thing!" Kaoru snapped. The bassist glared at him, "What’s wrong with that? Just because you’re not as lucky as Shinya doesn’t mean you can yelled at me and-"

"Toshiya-kun!" Shinya began. Toshiya moved away. Kaoru looked at Shinya again for an answer. The drummer only shook his head, "I don’t know…he’s been acting weird since last night" Suddenly Kyo pulled his shirt.

"Ne, Shin-chan…you should know why…" the vocalist said lightly as he glanced at Kaoru. Shinya widened his eyes remembering what they saw last night. Kaoru with a girl…the drummer smiled. He stood up shaking his head slowly. Kaoru followed him.

"I don’t know why…but you should know, Kaoru-san. You know why Toshiya is acting weird" Kaoru shook his head, but he stopped as Kyo grinned wickedly to him. The purple head scratched his head confusedly.

*

"Okay guys, lunch time" Kaoru put his guitar down. In a swift movement Die pulled his arm and dragged him towards the rest area. Kaoru widened his eyes, "N…nani?" Die pouted asking, "So what happened to Shinya?"

Kaoru sighed.

"First of all, I’m not going to mention such word like date…" Kaoru began.

*

Shinya was in the practice room alone. Kyo and Toshiya had gone for lunch together and promised to bring something back for him. He sat behind his drum set quietly. Once in a while he threw his drumstick in the air then caught it with his hand.

What’s happening between Die and me? We never talk anymore…

Shinya stared at Die’s guitar. He remembered how he used to play with it. Then how Die would screamed as he swayed it around in the air.

I miss those days…I want to love Die forever…but he doesn’t feel the same way…

Shinya sighed.

But only Die filled my mind…why Die? Can’t I forget him?

Shinya suddenly smiled to himself, Yoshiki’s face looked so funny when he handed the invitation. The older man looked so nervous. Shinya giggled softly, I’m so bad! It’s not even a date or anything…but what am I going to wear? He pouted thinking that going as Yoshiki’s partner he had to give a good impression ne?

Suddenly the door slammed opened making him jumped. Die walked towards him looking really scary. Shinya’s heartbeat grew faster and louder.

"Shinya, you’re not going!" Die stated firmly.

Shinya blinked his eyes few times at Die before catching his sentence.

"Nani? Go where? What…do you mean?" he asked confusedly. Die sighed in frustration. He brushed his fringe that fell on his face.

"Shinya! Don’t act as if you don’t know what I am talking about!" Die yelled. Shinya gasped,

"I –don’t- know what you’re talking about!" Shinya screamed. He couldn’t believe he did that. Shinya didn’t like arguments but this time his patience had gone far far away seeing Die yelling at him. The red head grunted,

"Where are you going tonight?"

Shinya raised an eyebrow, "Oh! You mean –that-? I’m going to a birthday party with Yoshiki-sama because-" Shinya couldn’t finished the sentence because Die had cut it.

"You’re not going!" Die stated.

Shinya joined his eyebrows, "I am! You don’t have the right telling me to do stuff!" the drummer stood up. His cheeks colored in anger.

"Shinya! It’s stated that dating with producers are not allowed and as a band mate I’m telling you that…"

"What the hell are you talking about, Die?" Shinya gasped in disbelief. "I’m –not- dating Yoshiki-sama!" Die laughed humorlessly. He shook his head few times before continued.

"Shinya…I know you’re not that stupid! This is a date! A date that you might end up on his bed tomorrow morning! What invitation? What birthday party?" Die raised his voice. Shinya stared at him as if he was going insane.

"It’s –not- a –date-!" Shinya repeated patiently. Die rolled his eyes,

"Well! Soon you’ll find out your hero, Yoshiki-sama isn’t a nice guy like you think he is! He’s taking advantage of you! He’ll try everything even on first date! He’s…"

"Die! Yoshiki-sama isn’t the type of man like you are! If he said this wasn’t a date then this wouldn’t be a date! He meant whatever he said!" Shinya snapped.

Not like you! You said you loved me…but you slept with her! And you tried to rub it in everytime you had the chance to!

"He’s not desperate and he’s not like you!" Shinya added. "He’s not a man who tells lies like you! He doesn’t make any move on first date and end up sleeping with her!" Shinya stopped realizing what he had just said. Die looked at him weirdly. There was something else…Die knew Shinya was talking about something else.

"He is so nice and caring…" Shinya’s voice shook. ‘So what if I –am- dating him? He won’t hurt me like some people already did!" Shinya glared at him. Die sighed,

"Shinya…" he moved closer holding Shinya’s shoulders. "I know you…I know he’s not -that- for you…" Shinya froze. What did he mean by that?

"Yoshiki-sama will be Yoshiki-sama the hero the idol…he can never be your date! I’m saying this so you don’t get hurt in the future!" Die stared deeply into his eyes. He meant what he was saying and Shinya knew that. But the drummer wanted to deny it.

"If you really know me, then you should know how happy I am right now!" Shinya said coldly. Die widened his eyes in surprise. He released his hold…Shinya took it as a chance to move away.

"He won’t hurt me…" Shinya whispered before he rushed out the room.

Because he doesn’t love me…

Die sighed. He slumped on the couch behind him. So Shinya knew about Alisa…

Shinya…why can’t you trust me?

*

***

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