***

"What is wrong with you?" Kaoru asked again. There was still no reply. Toshiya studied his shoes for a long long time before he answered.

"None of your business!"

Kaoru took his hand. Toshiya blushed instantly.

"Don’t touch me! You old men just want to know everything and I’m sick of that!" Toshiya walked away but he couldn’t walk fast. His hips hurt so much. Kaoru followed him from behind, calling his name. Toshiya cursed himself for the pain and embarrassment he was having. He blinked and tears rolled down his cheeks. Kaoru panicked.

‘What’s wrong, man? Why are you crying?" Kaoru asked worriedly. Toshiya shook his head and walked slowly. Kaoru glanced at his feet, then he moved forward picking Toshiya up. Toshiya gasped, shrieked, screamed in horror and closed his eyes. When he opened them the bassist found himself in Kaoru’s arms.

"Don’t move! It’ll hurt more!" Kaoru commanded. Toshiya pouted. "Put your arms around my neck or you’re gonna fall! You’re quite heavy!" Kaoru commanded again. Toshiya glared but he held Kaoru’s neck tightly. The guitarist carried him to the couch.

"Now tell me what happened? How can you injure yourself?" Toshiya didn’t reply. How was he going to tell Kaoru? What was he going to tell him?

Oh…nothing…it’s just that I decided to get laid after seeing you with some bitch… Maybe not

Well…I don’t know what’s in me right now…but seeing you flirting with that bitch disgust me so much…

Toshiya gritted his teeth.

"Totchi…are you okay?"

Toshiya nodded slowly.

*

-7.00p.m-

"Konbanwa…" Yoshiki nodded to him. Shinya blushed seeing the older man in suit. Yoshiki put a mask on his face, "I look weird ne?" Shinya shook his head. He had dressed in Cage costume. The older man smiled, "I remember this one…your hair…" Shinya smiled shyly. He had long hair before now he tied it up leaving few streaks falling down on his face.

"You look really good" Yoshiki spoke softly. Shinya blushed more deeply.

"You too, Yoshiki-san"

*

Kyo crept into the living room slowly. He didn’t want to disturb Toshiya. The bassist was sleeping on the couch. Suddenly he heard a moan.

"Ouch…it hurts…" Toshiya sobbed.

Kyo rushed to his side. "Toshiya…you okay?" the bassist turned away quickly. Kyo sighed, "What happened? Some guy beat you up or something?" Toshiya rolled his eyes, not exactly…

"Does it hurt here?" Kyo touched Toshiya’s thigh then massage it slowly. Toshiya sobbed louder as Kyo caringly patted his head.

"Kyo…I’m so stupid…" he began.

Kyo sighed again.

"Nani? You slept with some guy right? And he hurt you…right?" Kyo asked softly. Toshiya nodded and wiped his tears. Kyo continued. "Because you saw Kaoru with some girl right?" Toshiya nodded again. Kyo could read him like a book! "And you thought getting a guy would make you forget about him…but it didn’t work right?" This time Toshiya only cried. Kyo raised an eyebrow, "Judging by the pain you’re having…it’s probably that Hakuei guy again or maybe…" Toshiya nodded.

Kyo sighed again.

"Toshiya, you should know that guy wasn’t right! He’s too…" Kyo tried to find the right word. "He’s not for you…" Kyo finally changed the sentence. How many times had Toshiya come back in pain? Few times only because he couldn’t resist that bleached hair guy.

"Do you want that thing happen again?" Kyo asked in serious tone. Toshiya snapped his head upwards. He shook his head slowly.

"Then don’t go out! Don’t go to that place!" Kyo scolded him. Toshiya’s lips trembled.

*

"Konbanwa…happy birthday" Yoshiki hugged the man who greeted him. Shinya couldn’t see his face because it was covered by a huge mask. Suddenly he noticed those lips. They looked so oddly familiar! Yoshiki introduced him; then the man took his mask off.

"Konbanwa…" he said huskily with a sly smile on his face. Shinya’s feet trembled as the face appeared behind the mask was Sugizo’s. The guitarist smiled to Yoshiki, "He’s quite pretty…" Yoshiki blushed and nodded, "What do you take me for?" he replied. Sugizo smirked hitting Yoshiki’s arm. The producer merely smiled slyly. Shinya’s heart jumped against his chest. Somehow he felt a sense of danger surrounding him. But it was a huge party and there were so many people so many J-rockers around, he tried to deny it.

Shinya gulped realising he didn’t really know them.

Soon you’ll find out your hero, Yoshiki-sama isn’t a nice guy like you think he is…

Those words appeared in his mind. He bit his lips nervously telling himself not to worry.

*

Die jerked his head up.

"What’s wrong now?" Kaoru looked at him in confusion.

Die touched his chest, "I can feel it again…"

"Shinya?" Kaoru asked.

*

Shinya had decided to sit down and enjoyed the birthday cake. After they sang the birthday song, Sugizo had made an announcement about him as one of the prettiest around. And everyone found out he was there with Yoshiki-sama. It was so embarrassing when they stared at him.

Hai hai…Hide-san is better!

Shinya frowned. How could they compare Hide-san with him? He was nothing! He wished he was never here…he didn’t belong here.

Ne…something else probably…you know…

Shinya was so upset! How could they even think about that? He never thought of having sex with Yoshiki-san! Never! They were so mean…gossiping about Yoshiki-san behind the producer. Shinya gasped as somebody sat beside him.

"I thought bringing you here would at least cheer you up…but I didn’t even see a smile on your face ever since you entered the room!" Yoshiki sighed. The older man looked at him worriedly.

"Are you okay? Maybe you’re sick?" Yoshiki touched his forehead gently. Shinya turned away quickly, "Iie, Yoshiki-san. I’m fine…it’s my nature…I’m the quiet one…"

"Hey, Yoshiki! We need you here!" somebody yelled across the room. Yoshiki jerked his head up thinking that they were probably having a game…I’m too old for this…he thought. But maybe they’re playing an old man game…he thought again. Then he got up his seat.

"Enjoy yourself Shinya…I’ll be back!" he smiled warmly. Shinya blushed at the smile. This is too formal! Shinya rested his chin on the table mourning about himself when suddenly he felt the table shook. He lifted his eyes up and …

Sugizo was kneeling on the table. He eyed Shinya exactly the same way he did the night before…when he caught the young drummer in the bathroom. Shinya’s eyes widened. The guitarist looked so good…so evil…slowly he removed his chin from the table. He wanted to run away…but instead he leaned back on the chair…froze by the birthday person’s devilish charm.

"No wonder I couldn’t get you…" Sugizo whispered in a husky tone.

Ah…such a deep voice…

"Why didn’t you tell me you’re with Yoshiki? So I can make him share…" Sugizo reached out and pulled Shinya closed to him. Shinya gasped as he was attacked by a rough kiss bruising his lips. He closed his eyes and shook his head violently. Finally he managed to find his strength and pushed Sugizo away. The guitarist smirked.

"Ah…wanna stay pure…only for him?" Sugizo smirked. "I heard you worship him…is that how you get him down to his knees?" he traced Shinya’s face with his index finger. "Begging for you…?" faster that a flash

Sugizo threw himself to him. He shrieked as the warm and appealing body lay on him, brushing against his own frail one. Sugizo kissed him again. It was rough and passionate but this time he succeed in getting Shinya played along with him.

Shinya felt himself burning. He moaned under that long kiss. It was so rough…taking his breath away. But he liked it…Sugizo’s able tongue moved in his mouth roaming every inch of it.

Ah…Die…

*

"Where are you going?!"

"I have to see him…" Die answered depressingly. He took his jacket then slammed the door hard. Kaoru sighed. He could only sigh. Where the hell was Die going to see Shinya? He didn’t even know where he was. Kaoru had told Die about Shinya and Yoshiki. He thought he had made it clear to Die that nothing happened between them. But Die had taken it really wrong and serious.

"When is this gonna end?" he mumbled.

*

Shinya’s moan was soon replaced by a fearful gasp as he felt a warm sweaty palm rubbing his knee. It felt so nice…so good…but this wasn’t right! This man wasn’t Die!

Once again Shinya pushed him hard. The guitarist grunted, "Why don’t you…" he lost his words in anger. He looked down at the young man. Shinya’s beautiful eyes were filled with tears. Sugizo frowned seeing those tears rolling down Shinya’s delicate cheeks. They looked so clear…and beautiful. The older man stared at Shinya…

Luna…

Shinya sobbed.

"Luna…" the older man whispered and touched Shinya’s cheek gently. "Don’t cry…my sweet innocent baby…" he whispered kissing Shinya’s forehead.

Nani?

Slowly Sugizo moved away.

Shinya sighed in relief. Luna…? Sugizo’s daughter? He knew the guitarist had a daughter. But why did he called him Luna? Did he remind him of Luna? Shinya wiped his cheeks slowly.

He knew he had called Die’s name…

I miss you Die…I miss you so much…where are you?

Shinya looked around as if to find his beloved guitarist there. But there was no way Die could be there…Shinya sighed sadly. He got up deciding to get some fresh air. So he walked out of the room heading towards the garden.

*

***

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