***

Die opened his eyes and winced as bright light greeted him.

It was morning and he looked around finding himself in his car. He stretched loudly; his body ached from sleeping in such a small space. Die put his arms around his knees; it was so cold even without the air-con on. He shut the window and-

"I can’t believe this…" he mumbled.

Yoshiki’s car was still there…parked in the same position as the night before. Meaning he was up there in Shinya’s apartment…the whole night.

He glanced at the watch…-06.41 am-

Shinya…my Shin-chan…with Yoshiki…in bed…together…No!

Die laughed, sadly.

Die…stupid Die…you did it too ne? remember that woman…? Why are you being so unfair? You could do it with her…the night Shinya dumped you. now he’s there…with your producer…and Shinya must be really happy!

"I was drunk…and I don’t think Shinya was…" he told himself remembering it was Shinya who drove the car last night.

You’re not going out with Shinya anymore…right? He doesn’t want you…

"I can’t believe this…" he repeated.

*

Shinya took a look at himself one last time before walking out of his bedroom. It was quite dark since all the curtains were drawn close. Suddenly he gasped seeing an outline of a person standing in front of the window. He had no expression on his face but Shinya could sense the cold and loneliness…

Shinya sighed couldn’t believe his eyes. So he just stood there staring at that beautiful figure. There was a dead silence in the air until Shinya managed to decide that it would be better to greet the older man.

He called once.

Twice

Yoshiki turned slowly as a red car sped down the road making squeaky sound on its wheels. Shinya sighed. The older man didn’t move away from the window.

"Sorry Shinya…I’ didn’t hear you" he smiled. It was such a simple smile yet warm and kind…Shinya felt he could faint at that moment. But he didn’t. Instead he smiled back, nervously, before moving few steps closer to the older man.

"What’s so interesting…anything happened outside?" he asked carefully. Yoshiki merely shook his head.

"Nothing…"

‘Hn…do you want any breakfast? I can make you some…" Shinya turned towards the kitchen. Suddenly Yoshiki grabbed his arm making him swayed his body forward. He almost fell on the older man.

Shinya gasped. His breath caught in his throat being so close to Yoshiki…being grabbed that way…

"It’s okay…I’m leaving now…"Yoshiki whispered holding Shinya’s arm gently. The young man only blushed.

Oh my God

Yoshiki looked deeply into his eyes. So deep yet sharp that Shinya thought the older man was reading him, sucking every single memory in his mind. He too began to stare at Yoshiki…deeply into the producer’s eyes.

Oh my God

There was something weird…something different about Yoshiki…like…he was thinking hard while looking at Shinya…and the younger man could feel that Yoshiki was undressing him…wanting to know…finding out every little secret he was keeping.

Die…only Die could do that…

He thought only Die’s stare could strip him naked…but now…even Yoshiki could do that…Suddenly Yoshiki smiled, warmly. Shinya’s eyes fluttered…he could feel tears there.

"Shinya…you’re so beautiful…"

Shinya blinked his eyes and a single tear rolled down his cheek. Yoshiki smiled again, moving a hand brushing his cheek gently. Shinya shivered under his touch.

"Beautiful…and nice…too nice…and innocent…" Yoshiki added, his finger trailed down along Shinya’s cheek at the trace of his tear. The younger man sobbed quietly. He didn’t even know why he was crying. Shinya opened his mouth trying to say something but Yoshiki put his finger gently on Shinya’s lips.

"Arigato…" he whispered before moving away. Yoshiki took his jacket and walked out the room without turning back. Shinya stood frozen on his feet for a while. He couldn’t do anything…he couldn’t even find his voice. Shinya’s feet trembled and finally he fell on the carpeted floor sobbing uncontrollably.

*

There was no one in the studio. Yoshiki sighed, at least he could do his work in peace this time. He entered his office and sat down crossing his legs (Ah…that pose-L7) he looked up the ceiling for a while, thinking about the young man…

There was something in his eyes…and he’s keeping something for himself.

Yoshiki sighed again…maybe it’s better for me to do work…

A knock on the door made him raise an eyebrow. It didn’t really surprise him. He only wondered, was that the person he had been expecting? It had to be! So he smiled, leaning back on his chair.

"Come in" he spoke aloud and the door opened slowly.

Die entered the room with a nervous expression on his face. He lifted his eyes and the older man was smiling as if he had been expecting him…Die felt scare. Had Yoshiki been expecting him…Saturday morning in his office? But he wasn’t going to ask. He had something else important to talk about. Yoshiki moved a little on his chair.

"Yes, Die…what can I do for you?"

Die couldn’t run away now…there was no practice today and Die knew that somehow Yoshiki knew what he wanted to talk about. So he gulped, telling himself that it would be better to be straightforward. He moved closer to the desk standing right in front of the older man. Straightforward…

"Did you sleep with Shinya?"

Yoshiki raised an eyebrow.

"Well…why do you ask?" the older man had a weird look on his face. Die seriously began to wonder if Shinya told him everything that happened.

"I saw your car…" Die said weakly. The older man nodded. Then Yoshiki leaned forward. Die stepped back once.

"If you asked me whether I like Shinya or not…I could answer you" he stopped smiling charmingly.

Die’s heartbeat grew.

"But you’ve asked me whether I slept with Shinya or not…I can’t answer that…" Yoshiki shook his head slowly. Die narrowed his eyes.

"It’s part of my personal life…and I don’t share my life with anyone…" Die greeted his teeth seeing Yoshiki’s calmness. He knew there was no way the older man would tell him. But he needed to know…he had to stop thinking worrying about the night before. So he went there…in the morning waiting for Yoshiki. And the older man had told him…it’s part of my personal life. Die bit his lip…he had to try again.

"Do you like Shinya?"

"He’s the loveliest…"

"Do you like to be with him?"

"I love to be with him…"

"Did you sleep with him?"

Yoshiki laughed, "Nice try, Die…but I have given you the answer…I’m not telling you that"

Die sighed.

Suddenly the older man got up from his chair. He stood right in front of the red head staring deeply into his eyes. "How if I say I did…? What would you do?"

Die tensed up and Yoshiki could feel it…he could see it. The red head looked at him, did you? he wanted to ask. But somehow he lost his voice. Instead, Die turned away from his gaze. He brushed his hair nervously. How if Yoshiki did…? What would he do? What would Die do? He didn’t know…Shinya was not his boyfriend or anything…he was not even a friend for Shinya.

Yoshiki stared at Die’s back. He waited for an answer…he wanted an answer. He smiled as Die turned back to him.

"If you did…then…I…" Die stopped. "Then I can’t do anything…can I?" Yoshiki joined his eyebrows. He did expect Die to see him that morning and he expected the red head to ask him whether he slept with Shinya or not. But he didn’t expect Die would give him this kind of answer. So there was a long pause before Yoshiki decided to make things easy for both of them.

"Tell me something, Die…what is Shinya for you?"

"Shinya…" Die blushed, "…is the most precious person…being in the world" he admitted. Yoshiki smiled. He walked and stood beside the red head. "Then why give up?"

Die glanced at the older man, confused.

"Die…he needs somebody…he really needs protection…" Die found himself agreeing with Yoshiki. But how did he know that? Did Shinya tell him what happened? He stopped thinking as the older man continued.

"Shinya is Shinya…he’s cold…but warm" Yoshiki stopped seeing Die’s confused expression.

"He’s mean…but lovely" he whispered. Die nodded. He thought Shinya was such a cold and heartless person…but Shinya was so kind…and gentle...and sweet.

"I did, Die…I slept with Shinya…last night"

Die froze.

"What will you do about that?" Yoshiki asked him looking into his eyes. Die’s lips quivered. He didn’t know…he didn’t know! But then he thought…he had sworn he wanted Shinya back. What ever happened…even if Shinya slept with Yoshiki…which he did! He wanted Shinya back and he would even kill the beautiful person if that was the only way to have Shinya back…to him.

"I want him back…I don’t care…" he looked at Yoshiki.

The older man laughed.

"Then don’t give up…" he walked towards the door and opened it. Die greeted his teeth and walked out of the room. But he turned as the older man called out.

"Die…I’ll be watching you…and if you fail…if you hurt him again…" he stopped. Die knew what he was going to say.

"You’ll wish you never met me" Yoshiki ended the sentence cold and sharp.

*

***

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