***

"I think you want to try this…it’s quite good" Yoshiki offered him his food. Shinya glanced at it for a second before making a face. He shook his head. The older man sighed, "How about this one?" Shinya shook his head again. This time he blushed a little.

"Shinya…do you actually –eat- something?" Yoshiki threw him a weird look. The younger man nodded without looking at him, "Hai…but I don’t eat lots of things. I’m kind of…" Shinya thought for a while.

"Fussy…" Yoshiki finished the sentence. Shinya quickly shook his head, "Iie! I’m not fussy!" he protested.

"Picky…" the older man spoke lightly. Shinya blushed, "I’m not…" he mumbled. Suddenly Yoshiki smiled. He had something in his mind. "Are you picky on friends?" he asked. Shinya raised an eyebrow, "No…" he replied softly.

"Nevermind…Shinya. What else do you want to eat beside those?" he pointed at Shinya’s food. The younger drummer shook his head, "I think this is enough" Yoshiki gasped, "My goodness! Shinya…are you on diet?!" he asked raising his voice. Shinya widened his eyes and shook his head quickly. "You need to put on weight! You’re so skinny…so fragile and…" Shinya lifted his eyes up and looked at him. Yoshiki stopped gazing into Shinya’s big beautiful eyes.

"…" Yoshiki turned away leaving the sentence unfinished. Shinya joined his eyebrows, confused. But he couldn’t stop telling himself how happy he was right now. He felt his feet weren’t touching the ground. Yoshiki, his big idol was with him, in a sushi restaurant. He had managed to get Yoshiki had supper with him but ended up getting scolded.

I’m not on diet! This is how I am!

"Ah…let’s get out of here!" came a voice sounded like Yoshiki’s.

*

Kaoru put a hand in his pocket looking around the street. Kyo had told him to wait outside Blah+Blah pub. He had waited for fifteen minutes…and where the heck was that small guy? Suddenly he heard somebody sounded like Kyo calling out his name. He turned around and smiled. The vocalist was waving his arm in the air. Kaoru quickly walked towards him.

"Kyo-chan…you look so cute tonight?" he smiled teasingly brushing Kyo’s blond hair. The vocalist hit his arm, "It’s not me who need you…so don’t you dare to tease me!" Kaoru raised an eyebrow. He studied the younger man’s face. He looked so tired…and he stank alcohol and cigarette.

"Your –beloved- Toshiya is inside…he doesn’t want to go back…and everytime I tried to pull his arm he…" Kyo blushed, "Threw me to the corner of the room" Kaoru smiled slyly, "Aw…kawaii Kyo-chan…" he said in a whiny tone. Kyo threw him a real fiend look before stepping into the pub.

Kaoru sighed seeing Toshiya lying on the tatami. The bassist was clad in tight leather mini skirt and a thin blouse. He was sleeping. Kaoru sighed again. Toshiya looked so…adorable. Kyo sat beside Toshiya and held his arm, "Toshiya…let’s go back!" the bassist moaned and pushed Kyo away.

Kaoru smiled.

"See that? I’ve told you!" Kyo pouted. The guitarist shook his head slowly and approached Toshiya.

"Totchi…wake up!" he spoke softly touching the bassist’s face.

"Mnn…" was the reply. Toshiya shook his head and went back to sleep. Kaoru sighed tiredly and picked Toshiya up. Kyo widened his eyes and stared at Kaoru…then Toshiya…then both of them. They made quite a pair, Kyo thought. Kaoru pouted as he gazed at Toshiya with his alluring eyes. The bassist didn’t really realize he wasn’t on the ground anymore. Instead he made himself cozy by wrapping his arms around Kaoru’s neck and rested his head on Kaoru’s chest. Kyo smiled seeing Toshiya’s hair fell down on his face and on Kaoru’s arm. They looked so beautiful together…like…Degas’ painting. (L7 swoon…Gomen ne)

"Let’s go Kyo…"

*

Die sighed trying not to watch (glare) at Alisa as she angrily hung up the phone.

"I think I’ll just call a taxi…do you know the number?" she sounded like she was getting mad. Die shook his head, "Iie…" he looked up and saw Alisa’s tired expression. Maybe she was telling the truth…maybe she did need a taxi… Die began to doubt. He was so sure Alisa was only making up crap. But now…

Alisa picked her handbag up from the table, "Okay…see you sometime Die…" she walked lazily towards the door. Die narrowed his eyes thinking for a while. It was almost midnight…and she had to walk quite far to get a taxi…should Die really let her got out there alone? How if some freak followed her like what had happened to Shinya? And how if no one saved her? Would Die felt guilty leaving her alone?

Die sighed, I hate myself…

"Alisa…" he called out. The woman turned around slowly with an eyebrow raised.

"I’ll give you a ride home…" he stood up looking for his car key. Alisa smiled in relief…and delight.

*

"Where do you wanna go?" Yoshiki asked. He sounded tired and lazy. Shinya sighed. The producer stopped his car, "You don’t want to go back…do you?"

"I do now…" Shinya lied and somehow Yoshiki knew that. He started the engine.

"Let’s go to my place…I want to show you something" Shinya gulped. That place? No, he didn’t want to go there again. And somehow…Yoshiki sounded weird…like…he was pushing Shinya to go with him. Shinya nervously glanced at him.

Soon you’ll find out your hero, Yoshiki-sama isn’t a nice guy like you think he is…

Shinya sighed trying to kick Die’s sentence out of his mind. Yoshiki-san is a good man…he’s not like Die…but I love Die instead of him…

*

Kaoru stood with Toshiya in his arms waiting for Kyo to open the door. Kyo swore as he couldn’t find the key. Kaoru frowned, "Kyo! Have you ever carried Toshiya?!" he hissed. Kyo shook his head and swore again as he found the key (?) he opened the door and looked at the older man sheepishly, "Come in…I think you just take him to his room" he locked the door. Kyo grinned,

"You can stay here tonight" he added. Kaoru stopped and glanced at him. That wasn’t a bad idea. He had to drive quite far back to his apartment and he was too lazy to. Tomorrow was Sunday…so…

"I take that offer…but where do I sleep?" he joined his eyebrow looking at the couch. He didn’t really mind…but…

Kyo grinned wider, "Well, if you’re lucky enough Kaoru…you might end up on…" he pointed at Toshiya, "his bed…Oyasuminasai…" Kyo blew him a kiss before entering his bedroom. Kaoru blushed slightly.

"Well Kyo…I’m always lucky…" he mumbled and walked into Toshiya’s room.

Kaoru put the bassist down his bed. Toshiya moved a little. Then the older man sat down beside him pulling the blanket up to Toshiya’s waist. As he bent down to kiss him goodnight, Toshiya suddenly grabbed him, throwing his slender arms around his neck. Kaoru gasped at the sudden action but didn’t really try to free himself.

"Shinya…" the younger man mumbled. Kaoru pouted. So Kyo didn’t tell him about Shinya eh? And now he thought Kaoru was Shinya. How could that be?! I’m not that skinny I’m not delicate! And I’m not pretty! He protested in his mind.

"Shin-chan…I want to drink…" Toshiya mumbled. Kaoru sighed, "No more drinksToshiya…" Toshiya moved a little and his lips almost touching Kaoru’s neck. He took a deep breath and exhaled. Kaoru smiled,

"Totchi…I’m not Shinya…" he said slowly trying to tell the bassist.

Toshiya moved him closer, "Hn…just because you dumped Die and felt like the world has ended you don’t…have the right…" Toshiya stopped, "…Mnn…to deny your identity…" he finished the sentence softly. Kaoru smiled seeing Toshiya’s cute behavior. And what the heck was he talking about?

"Totchi…I’m not Shinya…look at me…" Kaoru shook his shoulders but Toshiya didn’t even open his eyes. Instead he moved Kaoru closer placing his nose under Kaoru’s neck. He took another deep breath.

"Ne Shin-chan…you smell nice…"

Kaoru raised an eyebrow thinking, Of course I smell nice! I’m Kaoru!

Toshiya took another deep breath under Kaoru’s neck inhaling the scent of the older man. Kaoru felt himself blushing a little. He had never been ‘smelt’ before. But then nothing weird about this…it was Toshiya and the bassist was impossible in his eyes. Kaoru brushed Toshiya’s fringe idly and smiled. Totchi…you know how cute you are?

Kaoru was going to release Toshiya’s hug but Toshiya held him even tighter. Kaoru sighed, "Totchi…please…" he didn’t want to be lucky…not this way when Toshiya was drunk. The bassist took another deep breath inhaling Kaoru’s scent.

"Mnn…Shinya…how come you smell like Kaoru?"

Kaoru widened his eyes. Me? How does he know how I smell? So he grabbed Toshiya’s arms. The bassist turned away this time.

"Toshiya…how does Kaoru smell like?" ‘Shinya’ asked him. Toshiya mumbled something like "Sleep…" but ‘Shinya’ insisted. Toshiya pouted, "I don’t know…" he whined and pushed Kaoru’s arms away. Toshiya turned over lying on his stomach. The guitarist was getting –really- interested. He moved closer to Toshiya who was getting to sleep.

"Come on Toshiya, how does Kaoru smell like?"

"Ngh…he smells nice"

"How nice?"

Toshiya turned over again placing his face under Kaoru’s neck.

"…like… not perfume…" Toshiya suddenly smiled with eyes closed. His index finger started to twirl Kaoru’s hair. He inhaled and exhaled slowly enjoying Kaoru’s scent. The guitarist smiled shyly…his heartbeat grew…and he didn’t even know why!

Toshiya smiled dreamingly as he repeated, " not perfume…or anything like that…but…" Toshiya wrapped an arm around Kaoru’s neck moving him –even – closer to his face. The guitarist bit his lip.

"He smells…so personal…it’s Kaoru…" he breathe in again and moaned. "Really personal…" he whispered.

Kaoru smiled.

"How personal?"

"Hmmm…"

"Toshiya, do you like Kaoru?"

There was no reply.

"Totchi…"

Toshiya didn’t answer that. He placed another arm around Kaoru’s neck and breathe in again. Suddenly he blinked his eyes. Kaoru panicked.

"Shin-chan…how come you smell so much like Kaoru?" Toshiya opened his eyes but Kaoru quickly kissed him goodnight.

"Oyasumi…Toshiya!" he said before rushing out the room. Toshiya would kill him if he found out! He closed the door quickly with his heart beating fast against his chest. Kaoru blushed…and blushed then walked slowly towards the couch trying to calm himself down. He could go back in there…but he didn’t want to.

"Mnn…night" Toshiya mumbled falling asleep.

*

"Okay…here you go…hope you get a good sleep" Die stopped his car in front of Alisa’s posh apartment. The woman only smiled. She looked away for a while before smiling again.

"You know what Die…you’re quite a nice guy" Die rolled his eyes. She sighed.

"Why don’t you come in?"

Die smiled, "No thanks!" he didn’t want to go back there…that night was such a nightmare to him and he didn’t want to remember that. I slept with her…and Shinya did it with Yoshiki…he sighed. She pouted and opened the car door. Suddenly Die narrowed his eyes noticing a huge bruise mark on Alisa’s inner arm. He held her shoulder. She stopped moving and looked at him.

‘What’s this? Where do you get it from?" Die held Alisa’s arm closer and saw it was big. Really big…and how the hell did she get it from? The woman gasped and pulled her arm away panickedly. Die looked at her suspiciously. Somehow he thought…

"Alisa…you’re not telling me the truth right?" she pouted.

*

"Ah…so cool!" Yoshiki had showed him to his ‘practice’ room where he kept all his collection. Shinya looked around with jaw dropped. He turned back to the older man and was dazzled by his slight serene smile. Shinya’s heartbeat grew faster.

"You can have this if you want…" Yoshiki held a pair of drumsticks, "These are mine…and I got some Hide’s stuff and I think Kaoru will be really delighted. You can take those too…-if- you want" Shinya laughed. Somehow Yoshiki sounded like he was teasing him. Of course he wanted them! And Kaoru would be so happy! After that ‘fight’ he had with him…Kaoru was mourning about Hide-san. Shinya hoped those stuff could cheer Kaoru up.

"Ah…I want them…" he spoke softly and gazed at the older man. Yoshiki was staring at him. I even want the owner…the man… Shinya heard a voice sounded like his. Suddenly he blushed. What did I say? Did I say that out loud? Did I? Did he hear that? He screamed in his mind. Shinya nervously turned away and looked around hoping he would find something interesting enough so he could talk and killed the dead silence. But he couldn’t find any…not because there wasn’t anything interesting but his mind flew…around the house…the white wall…and its owner…

I hate this place!!!!!!

"Shinya…" came a deep voice. Shinya winced and turned back quickly.

"Hai…" he gasped finding Yoshiki only few inches away from him.

Would he turn away this time?

Would he?

*

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