GRAVITY 19
by Lady7
***
"Toshiya-kun…" somebody called his name. He frowned realising who it was but turned his head around. Mihoko ran towards him with a huge smile on her face.
"Hai…what can I do for you?" Toshiya asked him tiredly. He had no mood to talk to her. She flirt so much…almost the whole time…
"Toshiya-kun…actually…" Toshiya sighed as she talked and talked. He didn’t pay any attention, as usual. He merely nodded and looked around the lobby. Suddenly his eyes narrowed seeing a violet head walking around excitedly greeting everyone around him. Toshiya pouted, so Shinya had given him Hide’s stuff…and he looks so happy! …He looks so kawaii…I never seen acting like a little child!
Suddenly Toshiya saw Kaoru’s eyes looking at him. Toshiya wet his lips; if he wanted Kaoru to get jealous, this was the time! Slowly, he moved closer to Mihoko, Yoshiki’s secretary. The woman gasped as Toshiya stared deeply into her eyes.
Heck! I wonder if he feels the same way I felt seeing him with a woman! Toshiya thought as he touched Mihoko’s hand.
"Ah…you have nice nail-polish!" he spoke huskily. Mihoko blushed and nodded seeing the gorgeous man studying her fingernails. (My…if that happens to me-L7)
Kaoru greeted his teeth seeing Toshiya’s flirty manner. Oh! So now he flirts with her too! I thought he hated her! What’s he doing touching her hand?! What the… Kaoru widened his eyes as Toshiya began to stroke her hand lightly with a sexy pout on his face.
Toshiya…only flirts with me! He glared at the bassist and heavily walked towards them. Toshiya bit his lip as Kaoru approached him. Mihoko didn’t have time to notice. She was too busy studying every inch of her favourite DEG member’s face.
"Konichiwa, Toshiya…Mihoko-san…" he fixed his eyes on Toshiya’s face. The bassist turned away avoiding Kaoru’s piercing eyes. Mihoko nodded, "Good afternoon Kaoru-san…ah…I’ve seen those pictures!" she glanced teasingly at Toshiya.
Kaoru smiled. Mihoko continued, "Everyone thinks you guys are…" she waved her hand slightly, "You know…kind of going out or something" Toshiya blushed. He didn’t have to be so shy…why was he so shy now? It was only Kaoru…and they always flirt with each other…kissing Kaoru was like…a normal thing to do! But now…he couldn’t even look at Kaoru.
"Well…what they said was kind of true…" (Oh…I wish-L7) Toshiya raised an eyebrow, what did he say? Mihoko looked shock. For a while both Toshiya and Mihoko couldn’t find their voice. Kaoru gulped then in a swift motion he grabbed Toshiya’s slender arm. The woman could only whine.
"Let me go! Kaoru…let me go!" Toshiya tried to free himself. Kaoru pouted, "I have to talk to you!" Toshiya stopped and started to kick the violet head. The guitarist winced.
"Toshiya! Listen to me! Why are you behaving so weird?! What is wrong between us? What is happening?" Kaoru grabbed Toshiya’ shoulders and shook the slender body. Toshiya shut his eyes tightly.
"You look so disgusting flirting with that woman!" Kaoru hissed. Toshiya gasped and took this as the chance
to push Kaoru aside.
"Well, how about you?! You’re the one looking so gross flirting with –that- woman!" Toshiya yelled. He felt tears collecting at the rims of his eyes.
Kaoru joined his eyebrows, "What woman? When? Where?" he yelled back, confused. Toshiya pouted and glared at him.
"Oho! Too many to remember? let me refresh your memory! That evening with Die and the woman who came to studio the other day!" Toshiya felt his tears were coming down. "You and that woman…gross! I saw her feeding you! and you said I was disgusting?!" Toshiya made a face in disgust.
Kaoru froze for few seconds before touching his chin, thinking.
"Are you talking about Alisa?" he asked. Toshiya rolled his eyes turning away as tears rolled down his cheeks. "Whoever she is…I don’t care! You don’t have the right to say how disgusting I looked flirting with Mihoko! You did it too!" Kaoru joined his eyebrows hearing Toshiya’s trembling voice. He reached out for the bassist and turned him around.
"Toshiya! Why are you crying?" he gasped seeing Toshiya’s tears rolled down his cheeks. The bassist didn’t try to push him away or anything. He just stood there letting Kaoru wiped his wet cheeks.
"What happened to us, Kaoru?" Toshiya asked weakly. Kaoru looked at him sympathetically and shook his head.
"Why are we so weird these days?" the bassist sobbed. Kaoru sighed, "I don’t know, Totchi…but I know one thing…" Toshiya looked at him confusedly. Kaoru waited for a while seeing Toshiya’s expression who was waiting for him…to say whatever he wanted to say.
"I’m falling for you…falling in love" Kaoru spoke softly. His hands held Toshiya’s shoulders tightly as if assuring the younger man he meant what he had just said. The bassist blushed.
"Really?" he asked carefully. Kaoru smiled and nodded. Toshiya finally calmed down after a while. He had stopped crying and was wiping his cheeks.
"Are you okay?" Kaoru asked. Toshiya nodded, "Maybe I’ll feel better with a hug…" Toshiya said pouting cutely. Kaoru narrowed his eyes…and hugged the bassist. Toshiya smiled widely resting his head on the older man’s shoulder. He breath in, he smells nice…Toshiya’s eyes flapped open instantly.
Hold on! Wait! This smell…Shinya?
"Feeling better now?"
Toshiya shook his head while trying not to grin. So that night was Kaoru…just wait!
"Maybe a kiss…" Toshiya whispered.
So Kaoru kissed him.
*
"Shinya…I saw Toshiya and Kaoru kissing in the corridor" Kyo spoke loudly as Shinya entered the room. The drummer nodded, "Good! It’s about time…" he sighed and sat heavily on the couch. The vocalist stuck his tongue out, "You know this girl invites me to her birthday party?" Shinya shook his head.
"I don’t like her"
"Then don’t go!"
"But I like her sister"
Shinya laughed, "Kyo…Kyo…then ask her out!" he glanced at the small man. Kyo shook his head, "I can’t…she hot but too old! I think she’s getting married or something!" Shinya heard him sighed.
"Are you going then?"
Kyo shook his head, "No friends…I don’t wanna go alone" Shinya smiled and patted Kyo’s arm, "I’ll go with you…" Kyo grinned and hugged Shinya’s waist, "I knew you would say that…arigato Shin-chan" the drummer hugged him back.
*
-3 days later-
"Kyo…please"
The vocalist tried to ignore the view of Die knelling on the floor asking for his pity. Die started to pulled his right arm, "Kyo…please"
"Iie! I’m not Toshiya!" he glanced around trying to find the bassist but he was not around. Die sighed, "But…"
"No! I’m not helping you!" Kyo pushed Die’s hands away. "Shinya is my friend and I’m on his side! You have Kaoru and Toshiya and sometimes…Yoshiki" Die widened his eyes hearing the last name mentioned. Kyo smiled slyly.
"So you think I don’t know about that? I’ve seen you many times going into his office and stayed there for a long time! I think everyone knows that!" Kyo pouted and continued reading the magazine. Die pulled his arms again.
"No! You take it wrong! Yoshiki isn’t helping me! I’m just telling him what happened! He’s the one telling me not to give up Shinya! He’s the-"
"Die! What do you mean by ‘not giving up Shinya?!" Kyo snapped. Die gasped.
"Do you have any idea…how hurt Shinya is?!"
"But I didn’t mean what I said and he should know that! It’s so stupid! This whole thing is misunderstanding…and I didn’t even sleep with that woman!" Die yelled back at Kyo.
Kyo narrowed his eyes, "Shinya…doesn’t care about that part of the story…" he shook his head in disbelief. So Die didn’t get it…not even a little bit! Die didn’t know the reason why Shinya avoiding him!
"He lived with you for almost two years…and you need somebody else to tell you how he feels?" Kyo made a face.
Die bit his lip.
*
The wind blew his hair aside covering his eyes. Shinya slowly tucked his hair behind his ears. Yoshiki sat down beside him, "Are you okay now?" Shinya smiled and nodded slightly. Yoshiki sighed and wrapped an arm around Shinya’s shoulder.
"Tell me how you feel…" he whispered.
Shinya fell silent for a while. The older man waited. He knew Shinya was thinking hard.
"Scared…"
Yoshiki stared at him, "Why?"
"Did you tell Die whatever I told you?" Shinya asked suddenly Yoshiki wondered if Shinya was trying to change the subject or maybe just wanted to ask the question.
"Well…if I do…things will be different" Yoshiki smiled looking at the blue sky. Shinya sighed then added,
"And you don’t tell me what he told you…" Yoshiki looked at him, "Shinya, all I know is that Die really loves you…he doesn’t want to give up…he wants you back…" he heard the younger man sighed.
"And he didn’t sleep with that woman…" Yoshiki added. There was a pause. Shinya opened his mouth wanting to say something. But he didn’t know what to say…Yoshiki patted his shoulder gently.
"I don’t care about that…" he whispered.
*
"Die, this is Shinya we’re talking about! Imagine you’re Shinya and somebody you truly love told you the most painful thing in the world. If you told him you didn’t love him anymore…he could probably take it and hate you for the rest of his life!" Kyo stated clearly.
"But you told him how boring your life was…when you knew Shinya was part of your life…" Kyo stopped staring at Die’s confused face.
"He’s scared!" Kyo whispered.
*
"So this is about that ‘it’s not you it’s me’ excuse eh?" Yoshiki raised an eyebrow at him. Shinya sighed,
"No…it’s not an excuse…that the truth! It –is- me, Yoshiki-san…I feel that…I’m so useless that I have disappointed him" Shinya held his breath feeling tears collecting in his eyes. "I don’t care whether he slept him her or not…but I’m just so scared that if we get together again…he will hurt me…again…" Shinya rested his head on the older man’s arm, crying.
*
"But he should know how I feel!" Die shook his head in disbelief. "I love him and he knows that!"
Kyo sighed, "Die…the fact that you’ve said those words! This is not about how you feel or how much you loved him that you want him back… Shinya thinks he can’t make you happy! You had made him feel that he’s useless…and he fails…Die, Shinya thinks you’re the one for him…"
Die looked down.
"But he thinks he’s not the one for you…"
Die stood up staring at the vocalist. Maybe whatever he said was true…maybe Shinya…
"Demo…" he began.
*
"I don’t think I’ll ever go out with Die again…whatever happens" Shinya mumbled. Yoshiki tightened his hug.
"Don’t say that…you might regret it…"
*
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