*** 

Shinya walked around the room nervously. What was going on?! Everyone acted really weird! It had been a week since Yoshiki treated them dinner and that was when everything started. To ‘celebrate’ their new album, Kaoru had suggested something sounded ridiculous to Shinya. For the whole month, everyone would to Kyo’s apartment on Mondays for dinner. Tuesdays would be Kaoru’s turn. Toshiya on Wednesdays ( in Kyo’s apartment) and Shinya’s turn was Thursdays.

Today, Friday…was Die’s turn to invite everyone to his apartment for dinner. Shinya somehow sensed that today would be the whole point of the ridiculous ‘celebration’! For the last for days, even Yoshiki had tried to make Die and Shinya talked to each other!

Are they planning to…but maybe they aren’t! but how if they are?!

Shinya chew his lip, what should I do? Should I let them do that? Or…

The drummer sat on the chair nervously, looking a bit pale. He was scared…really scared. He told himself to do what he felt right…

I want to be with Die…I want to love Die…and I want him to love me…But what was the bad feeling he had everytime he decided to give in? Like, something to him not to love Die. Something told him not to talk to Die.

By the time Shinya sat in his car with Puppy beside him, the stubborn drummer had made his decision.

*

Die glanced at his watch, he couldn’t believe his friends would be late! Kaoru called to tell him he had to help his neighbour; Toshiya had trouble waking Kyo up. Yoshiki had an appointment and would be really late so he told Die to start without him. Shinya… He didn’t call…

Ah! Is this the whole point?! It suddenly hit Die. Were his friends doing it in purpose to get them back together? Die knew Yoshiki’s plan…and Kyo, Toshiya and Kaoru knew about it too! But wasn’t it scary? If Shinya arrived before the rest of the band that meant living Die alone with him?!

What will happen? Will Shinya …will he go away? He surely doesn’t want to be left alone with me! Should I start it first? Should I talk to Shinya about wanting him to come back…or should I just keep quiet?! Should I leave it to the guys?

The door bell rung. Die jumped. He walked nervously towards the door, trying to guess who it could be. Would it be Toshiya and Kyo? He was too scared to peer from the hole. He stayed quiet. It couldn’t be Kyo and Toshiya coz they would make a lot of noise. It was probably Kaoru but he just called two minutes ago. Yoshiki would be really late.

It had to be Shinya.

Die pray then opened the door. He thought he heard dog barking. It swung opened and Shinya was standing right in front of him holding Puppy in his arms. The dog barked at him. Die looked startled. Shinya looked shy and nervous. The drummer looked away with slightly blushed cheeks.

Ah…sweet Shinya…Die felt himself smiling in wonder…and longing. He stared at Shinya for a while. Suddenly Puppy sort of jumped to him. Die gasped, Shinya widened his eyes. The drummer blushed more as Die held Puppy. The older man nodded to Shinya and stepped aside. Shinya entered the apartment with funny feelings in his heart.

I lived here…for almost two years…never expected to enter the apartment with this feeling. I’m a guest now…not anyone to the owner.

Puppy licked Die’s chin, who laughed nervously. Shinya pouted seeing his dog’s closeness to Die. Puppy missed Die too…just like Shinya. Now seeing his precious pet in Die’s arms playing and seeing Die patting its head, brushing its fur gently…Shinya wanted to be Puppy. Die, unconsciously began to talk to the dog.

"Hey Puppy, miss me ne? How are you?" Die mumbled to the dog but was loud enough for Shinya to hear. The drummer turned away avoiding them. The guitarist didn’t realize that…

"Hm…just took a bath? You smell nice…I got food for you ne…your favourite! Hey! Stop licking my chin! You know it tickles me! Or perhaps you forgot?" Die trailed off having a conversation with Puppy who seemed to understand what he was talking about. Shinya felt his heart being squeezed.

You don’t have to say that! He screamed mentally to Die.

Die suddenly stopped realising what he was doing. He looked up and saw Shinya turning away. He had seen that many times. As Die jerked his head up to take a look at Shinya, he saw the drummer turned away exactly that moment. Didn’t that mean Shinya was looking at him? How didn’t he notice?

"Shinya-kun…why don’t you sit down for a while? …they’ll be a bit late!" Die spoke carefully. He couldn’t believe the way he called Shinya. But he had to be polite! Shinya liked the polite Die.

I can’t believe the way he calls me…Shinya-kun…he calls me Shin-chan!!!

Shinya walked towards the living room and sat down, on the couch. His couch…his favourite place. Die saw and smiled. He knew Shinya would sit there…the right end of the long couch, near the phone. Puppy suddenly had the urge to walk around, so Die let him. The dog ran to his usual ‘hang out’ place, the area near Die’s room.

Die walked towards Shinya. He coughed a little, "Shinya-kun…do you want to eat first or wait for them?" he asked politely. Despite the urge of getting up the couch and rushed to Die smacking him on the face then told the older man to stop calling him Shinya-kun, the drummer looked up and gave a little smile, "I think it’s better to wait"

Die smiled, "Ah…the food isn’t really ready yet…" he blushed seeing Shinya’s eyes twinkled.

"You know I can’t really cook!" he quickly added but regretted saying that. Shinya’s face looked castdown. The guitarist stared at him for a while. Seeing the drummer on the couch sitting modestly, he couldn’t help thinking, remembering what they used to do on it. Die would suddenly jumped on Shinya…then they would make love there…they also fought on the couch before. Because Die was insensitive sometimes and Shinya was too stubborn.

Ironically, that was the same couch he slept on when he came home drunk after saying something that hurt Shinya so much, making him leave.

Shinya walked away…just like that…

Die widened his eyes as weird noises appeared behind him. Shinya joined his eyebrows and looked up. The red head turned around and moved few steps forward. Shinya stood up. Die held his breath seeing what Puppy was doing. Shinya saw it too. Puppy was scratching the door of Die’s room, wanted to go in. Die sighed shaking his head slowly.

"Puppy…what are you doing?" he mumbled with his heart beating hard against his chest. Shinya fell silent. Puppy ignored the voice of Die calling him. He continued scratching until Die picked him up. Puppy barked and struggled to free himself. The drummer watched them with no expression on his face.

"Puppy?" Die asked confusedly. He looked up to Shinya. "Let him in?" he asked softly. Puppy jerked his head up as if he understood what Die was saying. Shinya gulped seeing Puppy’s big eyes staring at him. Die bit his lip.

Shinya nodded.

Puppy ran in happily as Die opened the door. The red head didn’t close the door, just left it opened. Shinya sat down trying to hold back tears. He couldn’t believe it! Even Puppy…

Die walked to the kitchen, and rested his head on the fridge. He almost had an heart attack! What was Puppy doing?! Even the dog wanted him to talk to Shinya. He wanted to, but Shinya seemed to avoid him. He suddenly smelt burnt. Panic, Die growled realising what happened.

Shinya, trying to act as calm as possible, couldn’t help walking around the apartment. Nothing changed, except the place looked cold and a little bit untidy. The drummer suddenly smelt something weird, like burnt. Shinya smiled slightly, guessing what it could be. He walked quietly to the kitchen and peered seeing Die, panickly trying to cook.

Kawaii ne…

Die bit his lip checking the rice. He hoped it was cooked. Then he took out a bottle of vinegar and a spoon. Three spoons of vinegar for the soup then everything would be okay…he thought. The red head looked around. Hold on, he forgot something?

"Ah!!!" Die yelled in horror. The eggs! Now he remembered and they were almost over boiled! He took them out from the pot with his hands not noticing the smoke coming out from it. "Itai!!!" The guitarist sucked his index finger, and then carefully placed the eggs on a bowl. He sighed and looked around again. Now what? Ah! The soup! But he had to prepare for the dessert!

Shinya smiled seeing Die’s awkward motions moving around in the kitchen. It wasn’t the first time he saw it…and he knew Die needed help when he yelled in horror.

Die gasped as somebody suddenly appeared behind him. Somebody familiar.

"Shinya…" he blushed.

Shinya looked around, "Do you need help?" Die wanted to say no because Shinya was a guest but he needed help! Desperately!

"Hai!" Die nodded quickly. Shinya moved closer and took the bottle of vinegar, "I’ll handle the soup!" he took a spoon, poured in three spoons of vinegar in. The older man smiled in his heart.

I knew he knows the way I cook!

Shinya glanced at Die for a quick second, feeling his heartbeat grew faster. And that was a big mistake, because he spilled the vinegar on his hands. The drummer gasped when he realized it. Die turned around and took the bottle from him, "Ah! Wash your hands quickly or it’s gonna stink!" instead of doing so, Shinya stared at the soup, "I hope I don’t spill it in!" he mumbled. Die stirred and took the spoon, tasting the soup.

"Ah! It’s perfect!" he exclaimed happily and turned to Shinya, giving him a smile. (One of those smiles of Die’s –L7 *drools* okay, sorry ^^) the drummer’s eyes grew bigger. That smile…

So kawaii…

Realising what could happen next, Shinya turned away quickly walking towards the sink, which was another big mistake he shouldn’t have done. The younger man turned the tap, just as he heard Die’s shriek.

"Ah!!! No! Shin-chan! Not that tap!!!" Die screamed but it was too late.

"Gyahhhh!!!" Shinya closed his eyes but stood still letting the water burst out from the broken tap, making him soaking wet. Die rushed to him, trying to turn in off and ended up tying it with a cloth he snatched somewhere nearby. He sighed in relief and looked at Shinya. The drummer hung his head down, standing frozen near him with eyes shut. Die looked at him from head to toes. Shinya’s shirt was soaking wet. The red head tried to ignore the beautiful shape of Shinya’s body formed underneath the wet shirt.

"I thought you fix that stupid thing!" Shinya suddenly hissed.

"I did! Two days ago!" Die replied looking at the tap in disbelief.

"Well…you should’ve told the man to repair it, professionally!" Shinya opened his eyes looking at his wet hands. Die sighed, "I did that this morning! They said I had to wait since I’m not the only one who has this kind of problem! The family next door has it too!" the red head explained. He took another cloth wiping the water.

Shinya fumed, "We really should complain to that stupid company!" he hissed again as he stepped away from the sink. Die laughed, "We did that once remember?" he asked. "Ah! You better change your shirt or it’s gonna make you catch a cold!" Die suddenly realized. Shinya nodded and walked grumpily towards Die’s room.

He entered the room and Puppy greeted him. Shinya smiled, "Look at me Puppy! Soaking wet!" the dog barked.

"Yes…I know it’s not the first time…" Shinya walked to the cupboard, opened it and reached out for a shirt without looking at it. His eyes focused on Puppy. But what he touched was the cold surface of the wood. He joined his eyebrows turning his head to it. Then everything suddenly hit him.

I don’t live here anymore!

Shinya stood frozen while bits by bits of reality went back to his mind. What had he done? So casually he hissed at Die about ‘their’ forever broken kitchen tap, even suggested that ‘they’ should complain to the company, again. And here he was, entering Die’s room opening his cupboard for a shirt…he was only a guest!!!

Shinya gulped as he took a shirt out of the cupboard and closed it slowly. The drummer went to the bathroom and changed there. Shinya brushed his palm on the shirt while looking at himself in the mirror. He didn’t see the Shinya he saw every morning at home. But he was looking at the Shinya he used to be. Die’s Shinya.

Why do I feel that I’m gonna be Die’s Shinya…forever? And what am I thinking about? I’m always Die’s Shinya anyway…I’m already his…

The drummer walked out, looking around the room, inhaling the smell…the familiar scent of it, Die’s smell.

So masculine…so personal…so Die…

Shinya sighed pouting cutely. But his eyes suddenly turned bright.

Did I hear him calling me Shin-chan just now?

Shinya covered his face, so Die felt the same…did he?

"Shinya!" the drummer turned and saw Die. The guitarist turned the lights on, "Are you okay?" he looked at him the younger man nodded slightly, "Do you have a plastic bag? My shirt is really wet" Die nodded, "Hai, here…I was gonna hand this to you" Die moved nervously to him. Shinya stepped back once reaching out for it.

Shinya lifted his eyes up facing Die’s deep eyes. He moved a step backwards as Die seemed to be closer and closer. Now they were face to face, only few inches away. And behind Shinya was the bed. Puppy sat down staring at them, the usual thing he would do when he saw his master standing so close to that red haired guy.

If I move forward, he will move backward which means he’ll fall on my bed and I can lean on him…then kiss him…the way we used to…

Shinya stared at Die who stared at him closely.

Should I kiss him now or should I step forward so he falls on the bed so I can lean on him and kiss him so beautifully like we used to…?

Their face seemed to get closer and closer, their lips already parted when they stared into each other’s eyes. And the distance seemed to get shortened.

Kiss him!

Die brought his lips near Shinya’s parted ones. The drummer’s lids fluttered close as Die’s parted lips almost touched his.

Almost…really close…

Shinya moved his head to the right angle as Die’s lips met his wet ones. Puppy made a sound when he saw their union. Die and Shinya kissed, and when they broke off, Shinya looked at Die with tearful eyes, panting lightly. Die caught for breath looking into Shinya’s eyes. It was the time! Die, do it!

His mouth opened, ready to say something.

-Ding dong-

Die turned away, not believing his ears. Shinya looked like he was biting his lips but he was trying to do was tasting the last bit of Die on his lips. The guitarist looked at him, who merely blushed. Puppy looked up and followed Die when he walked out the room. The red head kept turning back few times as if to make sure Shinya wouldn’t disappear.

The drummer felt his knees shook so he fell on the bed, catching for air. He rolled over and smiled shyly, blushing.

He couldn’t believe it!

Die and Shinya…kissing! This time no hassle who was drunk who was not…this time it was real…

Walking towards the door, Die bit his lip trying to taste it. Shinya…he kissed Shinya! And this time…both of them were conscious! Really conscious!!!

Die opened the door and narrowed his eyes. Toshiya looked at him with a crooked smile. Kyo looked sleepy. Die narrowed his eyes more, two stupid people standing before him…annoying people!!!

"Konbanwa…" somebody greeted. It wasn’t Toshiya or Kyo’s voice. Sounded like…Die thought.

Kaoru appeared behind Toshiya with a sheepish smile on his face. Die pouted seeing Yoshiki who seemed to hide behind the pink head. But he wasn’t. The producer nodded to him, smiling.

Shamelessly, Die thought.

"So you guys just coincidently arrive at the same time eh?" Die hissed. Toshiya gave him another crooked smile. Kaoru pouted, Kyo grinned. Yoshiki turned away hiding a smile. Die sighed, "Get in…" everyone smiled widely.

Toshiya was the first one who entered the apartment. As soon as he reached the living room, his eyes swept around. Kyo pouted doing the same. Kaoru looked at Yoshiki who looked at Die.

"Eh, is Shinya here yet?" Toshiya asked carefully but couldn’t hide the tone of curiousity. Die fumed. Suddenly Puppy barked. Maybe he heard his master’s name being mentioned. Kyo’s jaw dropped, "Isn’t this Puppy?" he exclaimed. The dog barked again. Toshiya had a really crooked smile on his face. The bassist bent down and held Puppy in his arms. Yoshiki smiled, "Where’s Shinya?"

Die froze. That’s the whole point isn’t it?!

Everyone looked around.

Toshiya’s jaw dropped as Shinya walked out Die’s room. Yoshiki raised an eyebrow, "Hey Shinya-kun…" the young drummer blushed. Die massaged his temple. Hot flush swept his cheeks. Kaoru grinned.

"Konban wa…I thought you would be really late!" Shinya said nervously. Toshiya was the first one who noticed, probably the only one who noticed. "Shinya…what’s that bag?" he looked at the plastic bag suspiciously. The drummer looked at it, then explained briefly, "Oh…my shirt is kind of wet coz the tap is broken…as usual…"

"How did it happen?"

"How come?"

"Tell us ne…"

"Are you wearing Die’s shirt?"

Die glowered at them but no one noticed since they were all looking at Shinya funnily.

"Ano…I was kind of helping Die in the kitchen…and carelessly poured myself vinegar! So I had to wash my hands…you know…" Shinya said shortly. Kyo opened his mouth to ask more but he realized Die was sending daggers to him. The vocalist smiled innocently instead.

"It’s nothing…let’s just eat ne? The food is ready" Die broke off the silence. Kyo was the first one who sat on front of the dining table.

Die looked at Shinya who looked back at him. The guitarist smiled awkwardly to him. Shinya smiled back shyly.

This is working!

*

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