GRAVITY 34

by Lady7

***

The hospital ward looked clean and quiet and everything was white. There was nothing to listen to, except the air-con noise and the faint sound from outside. Everyone stayed silent. No body even moved a muscle. The feeling was mean, and cruel…like there was no justice and death was eyeing them right up the ceiling, surrounding them with his darkness.

The wall felt cold against Yoshiki’s back and he didn’t even bother to wonder how he could feel it through the cotton material of his shirt. Kyo stood right in front of him, staring at the drip, studying it with no reason at all. Kaoru stood in the middle of the room, his eyes facing the floor. He was probably the only one who had his mind in the room. Toshiya was near the window, jerking his head up for the moon. It was round, and bright, shining painfully beautiful and pale. The bassist blinked and a single tear rolled down his cheek. He couldn’t hear but saw the fireworks decorating the night sky, accompanying the stars.

The bed was placed almost in the middle of the room, near the window. Somebody was on it. The patient looked pale, and dead. There were few tiny scratches everywhere on his face. There was a bandage around his head and a cut under the eyebrow. There was also a bruise on his right cheek and a red nose, then a cut on the corner of the lower lip. But all those things didn’t hide the pretty face, but awkwardly, strangely showed the character of the feature. A beautiful, delicate, sweet and innocent form, of a young man who…

A man stood frozen, closely beside the bed. He stared at the patient and his wounds…then the neck, the arms…and seeing them the man’s mind floated around the room before disappeared completely. He was thinking about what was happening. His love, in a room of a hospital. Then he thought of what had happened. His family, his mother and how she had cried. Then the clock struck ten, and the handcuffs then the policemen…the wallet…the phone…

And now…

His love, lying weakly, dead on the bed.

Why?

Nobody knew…

His mind went back to him, and he realized how weak, how dead and innocent Shinya looked at the same time. He moved his hand that felt numb and touched the white clean sheet, the blanket that covered his love’s stiff body.

Shinya was dead

He blinked as the body moved slightly. The chest moved up and down slowly and the man couldn’t help gripping the white sheet. He was alive eh? But wasn’t it better for him to die? It was too late wasn’t it? He bit his lip until he could taste blood. Then he felt the strange wave in his nose that shot up to his eyes. And he felt hot there.

His fault.

If he told his parents he couldn’t do it that evening, he would’ve had Shinya in his arms…No. If he didn’t waste those few days ago Shinya would be with him. But then if he didn’t go home drunk and hurt Shinya’s feeling Shinya would have never left right? This whole thing wouldn’t happen at all…

One thing led to another…keeping you down feeling fate spinning your mind. Happiness came sending you up to seventh heaven and when grief gave you a smack on the face, you would fall back to the ground.

Gravity

But why?

Why Shinya?

Die touched Shinya’s pale hand. It was cold, chilling cold. But Shinya was supposed to be warm! He had touched Shinya’s hands many many times before and he was always warm! How could he turn so cold now while he was still alive?! It didn’t make sense did it? The red head swallowed the lump down his throat.

Kaoru gasped as the door burst opened and the second he realized Die had gone. The pink head looked around. Everyone remained silent not even bothered by the noise of the door or the footsteps. They were just fallen too deep into their own thoughts. The guitarist glanced at his lover over a shoulder, deciding that he looked calm and quiet Kaoru rushed towards the door and closed it softly.

*

The guitarist looked around the corridor. He heard ambulance faintly and the shouting and yelling. Few people wondered along the white space passing by him but all he wanted was the other guitarist. He couldn’t go that far could he? But where could he be? Kaoru wet his dry lips, narrowing his eyes so he could se better. He gasped as they caught a sight of some certain red head disappearing at the end of the corridor. His retreating back looked weak and shaky and Kaoru thought the man would collapsed on the white tiles any second.

He was right, almost. The red head shook and bent his knees. Kaoru gasped but managed to rush behind the other man and supported him. The older man waited for a while before calling out his name softly. Then he turned him around, only to see a really palely cold face of his bandmate. The younger man’s lip looked slightly bloody but he wouldn’t asked anything about that.

Die

There was no reply.

His smaller fingers were still clutching on the jacket, holding the other man carefully. Kaoru sighed as Die leaned back on the wall, his red hair contrast with the clean white paint. That white innocent color…mixed with bloody red…and the older man wondered why didn’t the young one had any reaction?

His love was lying lifelessly on the hospital bed. If it was his lover, if it was Toshiya, he would’ve cried and down to his knees or maybe he would have been arrested coz he wanted those cannibals to pay what they had done. But this guy…he didn’t even cry or anything!

Die

He called again but still no reply.

Kaoru reached out for his cheek but his hand was slapped away, surprisingly. The pink head gasped in disbelief. He looked at the red head in shock. So he did have a reaction eh?

Why him?

Die finally spoke and Kaoru thank God for that. But when he realized he couldn’t answer that…Kaoru wished Die never asked.

Why Shinya?

Die

Why Shinya?!!! Why him?!

Kaoru gulped as he was yelled. But held back anger, Die was in shock, like him and everyone else. Especially him, his love…Kaoru softened and reached out again, for Die’s cheek. This time, no slap. The red head let him touched it. Kaoru smiled sympathetically, brushing his cheek lightly.

Die

Why him?

Die!

The was a long pause after Kaoru’s hiss. Maybe that made Die think what he was just saying. But to Kaoru, this whole thing was scaring him! How would he handle Die? What would the red head do?! He stared at Die’s side feature. His lips shook and his eyes shut tightly. He was really hurt and what could Kaoru do about that?

I took him for granted, you know.

Kaoru bit down his lip.

I thought I loved him really much but then I didn’t love him that much and when I realized I did love him really much that he’s one of the best thing in my life it was too late!

Die turned his head to the right to face Kaoru, and the guitarist knew right at that second the nightmare wasn’t there yet. It was coming, but not yet. Soon.

Why? Why does life hurt? Love stinks…why?

Kaoru pursed his lips tight, not wanting to utter a word even a sound. It was better to leave him, so he could say everything he wanted to say. Even though there was no point but still…he woke up hearing Die sighed tiredly. Then the younger man smiled, sadly.

My fault eh? If I didn’t…nevermind…

Kaoru’s hold tightened, as if telling Die something. But he couldn’t care that much.

I was this close…Die spoke gapping his thumb and index finger. Kaoru stared at those fingers slowly.

Really close to getting him back and now…I’m thinking that maybe we are not meant for each other!

Die…

No! let me finish! This is ridiculous! Two years!!! And we end up like this, me in a hospital corridor and him, inside the room. Two years…Die shook his head. Suddenly Kaoru thought he heard a humorless laugh. It wasn’t funny…

Two years for nothing!

Die! He yelled. But then somebody touched his arm and Kaoru turned back. It was the doctor. Die joined his eyebrows and turned way, hiding his face. The old man looked at him weirdly.

Why didn’t you go and visit him? He might be awake and will be happy to see his friends there…

Die snorted. Kaoru pouted and apologized for him. The doctor smiled meaningfully. He could guess, he was smart. Everyone just suddenly turned to look at the red head as they knew what had happened. And he saw Die running out the room, shaking. And this pink head here was probably some close friend of his!

How many of them?

Kaoru almost choked. What?! What did Die just ask? The older guitarist glanced at the doctor nervously. But the man in white coat merely smile. Then he asked Die what was he asking about. Kaoru massaged the area between his eyes. He couldn’t believe this… Die moved closer to the doctor as he spoke.

You heard me…I’m asking you, as the doctor…how many of those guys…hurting him?

Kaoru, reading him, grabbed his arm. Die!!! He hissed in anger and pulled Die’s arm but the red head pushed him aside easily. He was now face to face with the doctor.

Shut up Kaoru! I have the right to know! Die spoke frigidly.

And I have the right not to tell you!

That was such a cold reply that for few seconds Kaoru felt Die had chilled down. The red head looked at the doctor blankly, with no expression in his eyes. But then he greeted his teeth and the doctor smiled, shaking his head. He moved his arm and touched Die’s shoulder.

You have to be tough.

Kaoru watched as the doctor left before switching his attention back to Die. The younger man turned away with face getting red. Probably in anger…but Kaoru would never know. The guitarist pulled his sleeve

What do you think you’re doing?! How could you ask that kind of question about Shinya?! How can you be so…he couldn’t even find the word. The other guitarist glared and walked away but Kaoru was not going to let him go just like that. He was worried, really worried! So he caught his arm and turned him around.

Die!

Let me go! Die hissed madly, but Kaoru didn’t even loosen his grasp. Realising this, the younger man started to hit him, punching his chest many times but Kaoru kept quiet, letting him do that. Die hit him more, and harder but he stopped as he felt Kaoru pulling him closer and closer to his chest. And when the older man’s arms were wrapped around his upper body, Die chew his lip and shut his eyes. Kaoru shut his too, as Die clutched his shirt tightly.

Kyo stood far behind them, right in front of the room. His eyes were staring at the guitarists, sharply yet worriedly. The petite singer sighed, looking thoughtful. Yeah, he was thinking hard. There was something he knew…but he couldn’t reveal (gosh! What’s with Kyo and secrets? –L7) but he wanted to.

The vocalist opened the door slightly and peered through the gap.

Toshiya was still standing frozen by the window, looking up at the painfully beautiful night sky.

*

*

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