***

"Kaoru!" the pink head turned his head seeing Toshiya running towards him. He smiled happily.

"Hey! Are you alone?" Kaoru asked as he pulled Toshiya into his arms. The bassist smiled a little, nodding his head. He looked around and couldn’t find anyone.

"I thought Die was here…" Toshiya mumbled in confusion. It had been two days and everything was so screwed up! They didn’t go to practice and the band used the hospital as their meeting place. Kyo had disappeared and Die was nowhere to be seen. Kaoru had to stay with the red head and Shinya hadn’t even got better! It was so depressing for Toshiya…what had happened to the band?

"Yeah…he’s sleeping…in the doctor’s office!" Kaoru replied sounding worried.

Toshiya raised an eyebrow, "But I thought he didn’t really get along with the doctor!" he asked in surprise. Kaoru shrugged, "Well, he a doctor. He knows what to do in this kind of situation. He can handle Die. Besides, that lad wants to know everything about Shinya…and the doctor keeps saying he can’t tell him…"

"So Die won’t give up until…yeah. I get it…"

They feel silent before Kaoru broke it off, "I don’t know how Die will handle this…he’s so shaky and upset!" Toshiya sighed, "I think Die is stronger than that! How about Shinya? How will HE handle that? He must be…" Toshiya didn’t finish it. Kaoru smiled sadly, "But Shinya seems stronger than Die…" he commented.

Toshiya bit down his lip and Kaoru noticed something.

"Totchi?"

"How do you know?!" Toshiya sounded as if he was trying to suppress a snap. The guitarist gulped, shaking his head carefully, "I’m sorry…that’s mean…"

"How about Shinya’s parents?" Toshiya suddenly asked; his voice dropped softly.

Kaoru sighed looking away, "Die told them…" Toshiya gasped in surprise.

"Then? What happened?" Toshiya was getting really worried. Parents were his weak points!

"Apparently, they knew about Die. And they were…upset. No! I don’t mean about Die but the incident!"

"Hm…about Die not taking good care of their only son?"

Kaoru shook his head slowly, "I don’t know…Toshiya. Did you get any call from the police?" Toshiya shook his head, "Why you ask me?"

"Because I got one" Toshiya widened his eyes, "From Kubota-san…that detective who drove us to the hospital that day…he called me" Kaoru looked around, making sure nobody was listening around there. Toshiya looked at him anxiously. What was going on? What was so secretive between Kaoru and that officer?

"I quite like him…" Kaoru confessed. "He’s different from what I imagined, and he’s willing to help!" Toshiya gulped.

"You mean…he wanna get those guys who did it?" Toshiya stepped closer to his lover. Kaoru nodded, "Yeah…but nobody was told, especially Die. He didn’t wanna disappoint him coz if he didn’t get them, Die would feel really upset!" the pink head looked at his lover and noticed something.

"Totchi…what’s wrong?" he asked. Toshiya was getting tense up. He looked really weird, like he was going to explode. The older man quickly wrapped an arm around his shoulder as if protecting him.

"You mean, there’s a chance that they might not getting arrested?" Toshiya asked shakingly. Kaoru get more worried because as Toshiya blinked tears rolled down his cheeks. It seemed to him that Toshiya could feel Shinya’s pain. The older man sighed and held his shoulders tightly.

"Toshiya…the doctor couldn’t find any evident about-"

"But how about…that…sperm? Or maybe…skin? Or…" Toshiya stuttered. He was not a bright cookie but at least he had heard about those things. And he was sure that Kaoru knew what he was talking about. So with demanding eyes, he looked at Kaoru.

"Iie…they couldn’t find anything except the damages in Shinya and- Toshiya!" the bassist pushed him away. Kaoru followed and managed to pull his arm. "What’s wrong with you?!"

"What do you mean what’s wrong with me?!!! Have you had no heart?! How can you be so mean Kaoru?! You look so calm as if you don’t care at all!" Toshiya snapped loudly he didn’t care if there was anyone around. But Kaoru did. He looked around nervously.

"Toshiya! What makes you think I look calm?! I was as shocked as you when I found out!" Kaoru tried not to snap back. Then he moved closer., slightly whispering. "Die didn’t know anything about this okay? And being calm is the best thing to do! Do you hear me? Please…stay calm! For Die and Shinya!"

Toshiya made no reply.

"And the detective is coming today so we can talk about it! The doctor will be there and Yoshiki will be there! And I want you to be there too!" Kaoru hissed. Toshiya looked at him weirdly.

"Why?"

"Because…I don’t know…I have this feeling that you can handle it and…" Kaoru stopped thinking a while. Toshiya joined his eyebrows, waiting.

"Because you go out a lot and you probably know some things they want to know…and-" Kaoru stopped again as Toshiya quickly moved away. Kaoru knew it. He shouldn’t have said that but he had to! He knew what he was gonna face and he had no choice!

"Toshiya…" he called softly.

The bassist smiled in disbelief and shook his head.

"Really? Is that why? You think I know a lot because I always used to go out at night partying and going through what you called ‘Toshiya’s wild nights’ right? Because I flirt so…much in the past meeting weird guys so you need some entries from me to give the police and doctor and Yoshiki-san right?!" Toshiya choked.

Kaoru shook his head, "No! no! Totchi! You get it wrong!"

"Which part of it did I get wrong? You’re just saying it because-" Toshiya yelped as Kaoru grabbed his arms and shook his body.

"Toshiya! All I need is help from you! we have to help them or Shinya will never find peace!"

"How about –my- peace?!" Toshiya suddenly screamed.

"Toshiya!" Kaoru was totally lost in his lover’s weirdness. All he needed was some help and he knew his words might had hurt him. Kaoru stared at his love. It was hard enough for Kaoru to mention something about Toshiya’s past because he would get all upset but now…it was so different! It was for Shinya…

He knew he had missed something. If Toshiya didn’t want to help, he understood. But Toshiya didn’t have to act so defensive and weird!

Did he do something…

Kaoru bit his lip, scolding himself for suspecting Toshiya.

But he was the one suggesting this whole idea of fireworks festival…and…

How could he think such thing about Toshiya? The drummer was his friend! And Kaoru knew Toshiya tried his best to get Die and Shinya back together. But then…wasn’t it Toshiya who told Shinya to break up with Die? Wasn’t it Toshiya who taught Shinya sentence by sentence word by word, how to dump Die?

He was so right…I’m the one not getting anything…I’m the one who don’t understand this…

Softly, he called his lover’s name, hoping Toshiya would hear. But the bassist was distance away, and he didn’t seem to hear it at all. Kaoru called again, louder. Toshiya turned back, looking at him.

"You doubt me, don’t you?"

Kaoru shook his head weakly.

"Come on…Toshiya, please! I won’t push you okay? If you don’t want to do it, fine. I won’t push you, I’m sorry!" Kaoru reached out and hugged his love tightly. Toshiya’s body shook and few seconds later he heard faint sobs. The older man rubbed his back gently, trying to calm him down.

What have I done?

"Totchi…"

Toshiya free himself, and smiled. Kaoru smiled back, but couldn’t help feeling weird. He held Toshiya’s hands tightly but the other man let go. The guitarist looked at him suspiciously.

"I have to go…" Toshiya mumbled.

"Where?"

Toshiya shrugged, "I can’t be in here…it’s driving me crazy!" Toshiya backed away and Kaoru was totally shock when Toshiya ran towards the exit. He stared at his lover’ s receding back and frowned.

"What’s going on?"

*

Toshiya ran as fast as he could to the garden. Few people were looking at him weirdly. He choked and tried his best not to cry. The bassist stopped around some area where not a lot of people could be found. And as he sat on the grass, Toshiya started to sob again.

Kaoru…

"Toshiya? Toshiya! What are you doing here?" Kyo’s voice… Toshiya jerked his head up with hope filling his brain and Kyo could see how relief the younger man looked to find him there.

"Kyo-kun!" Toshiya got up but Kyo pushed him down, and kneeled down in front of him.

"What are you doing here? Why are you crying? Where’s Kaoru and Die? How’s Shinya?" Kyo bombarded Toshiya with questions before he realized the younger man didn’t even seem to hear them. Kyo shut up and got worried.

"Toshiya?"

Kyo pouted pulling him close.

"Did you tell him?" the older man asked. Toshiya shook his head. Kyo sighed.

"Are you going to tell him?"

Toshiya nodded.

"Okay…get up and let’s go and find him!"

Toshiya let himself being pulled up and walked weakly on his feet with Kyo holding his arm.

*

*

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