***

"Wakey wakey…"

Die opened his sleepy eyes and yawned carelessly.

"You have been sleeping too long and my office isn’t one of the rooms out there…" that same voice added and Die grumpily got up the sofa. The red head blinked few times and sat on one of the chairs. The doctor was behind the desk and was staring at him funnily.

"I won’t go until you give me what I want!" Die coldly spoke.

"I can throw you out by calling the security and you’ll be banned from this hospital!" the doctor replied calmly. Die greeted his teeth, glaring at him murderously.

"You hate me don’t you?" the man in white asked, smiling.

"I just want to know…why isn’t he awake after so long? What’s going on? What is happening?" Die asked back. His eyes demanding for answers but the doctor turned away.

"Answer me! You said you had the right not to tell me but I have the right to know what happen!" Die’s voice rose. The other man turned back to him, looking a bit angry. "I can only tell his parents, and I did!" Die bit his lip, shaking his head, "How many times do I have to tell you? Please…I just want to know…"

The doctor shook his head, "Can you leave the room? I’m waiting for some guests! You can come back later" he spoke coldly. Realising that there was no point at all staying, the red head sighed and got up the chair. He walked away butt hen Die stopped before opening the door.

"I won’t give up till I get what I want! Even though that means breaking the rule…" Die mumbled. The older man took his glasses off and rubbed his temple, "Yeah…how? Are you going to hurt me to tell you everything?" the red head turned and faced his eyes.

"If I have to, I will!" Die looked determined. The other man got up, walked towards him and stopped.

"Knowing the truth…hurts…"

"I just want to know!" Die insisted, trying to explain, "I-I love him! You should know by looking at me! And the rest of the guys!" Die blushed a little. The older man smiled, "I do know…and that’s exactly my whole point! You already pointed it out yourself!" Die looked at him confusedly.

"You said, you’d break the rules to find out the truth! So expect me to tell you that painful truth before anything bad happens! But then when you finally know the truth, can you hold yourself from getting some payback?" the doctor shot a sharp stare right into his eyes. Die fell silent, looking confused and thoughtful.

"Who told you not to tell me anything?" he hissed.

The doctor shrugged, moving forward reaching for the door.

"Let the police handle this part of the story…Die-san…" he stopped and his eyes swept the floor. Then his hand moved up, holding Die’s shoulder. "I'll get the nurses to make a place for you in that room…be with him!" The doctor smiled seeing Die’s eyes suddenly lit up in seconds.

"You mean…" Die looked at him unsurely. The doctor gave him a slow smile. "Yeah…you can be with him…" Die bit his lip but couldn’t help himself from smiling.

"Now?"

The doctor nodded. Die stepped back, walking out the room with a bright smile on his face. Nobody was allowed in Shinya’s room since yesterday. And now…

I can be with you Shinya…

*

Toshiya stopped abruptly as he saw that man, sitting alone on the bench, looking worried. Kyo looked up at him, still holding his arm.

"Toshiya…go!" the bassist hesitated.

"How if…" he began.

"Toshiya! We have prepared for the worst! And knowing Kaoru…he’ll probably say something like ‘it’s the past’!" the vocalist smiled bitterly and hugged his waist, "Let’s do it ne?" he looked at the taller man sympathetically. Toshiya sighed, bit his lip and looked sad. Kyo said ‘let’s do it’…yeah! He’s the one doing the talking and he’s the subject and he’s the one holding all the risks…not Kyo.

"I'll do this alone…" he mumbled and walked away, leaving a speechless Kyo. The singer blinked and bit his fingernail worriedly. He watched as Toshiya approached his lover and the small man decided not to watch. So he left.

*

"Kaoru!" Toshiya called out. The pink head looked surprise, "Toshiya…are you okay?" the younger man nodded, "I’m fine…listen, there’s something I have to tell you…" he began to stop. Kaoru turned his head to other direction as somebody yelled his name. Toshiya bit his lip hard and did the same.

Die ran towards them with a smile, which was weird. Kaoru throw a surprise look to Toshiya, who merely smiled nervously. The red head stopped right in front of Kaoru, panting heavily.

"You won’t believe what happened!" the red head exclaimed, still trying to catch his breath. Toshiya joined his eyebrows, then gasped, "Oh! Shinya wake up?!" his eyes looked hopefully into Die’s. Kaoru gulped, but then Die’s smile faded. Kaoru gave him a sympathetic look and patted his shoulder. Toshiya turned away guiltily.

"Iie…" the red head’s voice sounded like it was gonna crack.

"Then…?" Kaoru asked and was surprise by Die’s suddenly bright eyes.

"The doctor said I could see him! He’ll ask the nurse to set things up so I can stay there at night! Kaoru! It’s so amazing you know…" Die spoke continuously and Kaoru smiled listening to every bit of it. The youngest man stood behind his lover, staring at Die, then Kaoru then the white wall.

It was pretty amazing…the doctor had been so protective and he was allowing Die to stay at nights?!!! Toshiya narrowed his eyes at Kaoru, who looked smiley. The young man bit his lip, maybe they set this up! What for? He looked at Die, to make him happy? To shut him up? Die wouldn’t leave the office until he got bits of info from the doctor…maybe that’s why…Toshiya looked at his lover.

But how am I telling him? When will I get the chance to?

"Ano…I'll go and leave you guys alone…" Toshiya laughed nervously and backed away uneasily. Die’s smile faded, joining his eyebrows, "Eh? Aren’t I your friend too? Actually…I have no time! I have to make phone calls, so ja!" the red head waved goodbye and rushed away. Kaoru turned his head around, looking at Toshiya weirdly.

"What’s wrong with you? ‘leave you guys alone’ as if he’s –my- lover! Totchi, are you sure you’re okay?" Kaoru took few steps closer to him, but the younger man turned away, "Eh…hai…I just think he might need to talk to you…I mean…" Toshiya scratched his head slowly, and gasped as Kaoru pulled him closer, "Totchi…" he closed his eyes feeling Kaoru’s lips on his.

"You know…I have to go!" Toshiya pushed him away, "Ja!" hurriedly the younger man disappeared at the end of the corridor, leaving a puzzled Kaoru.

I can’t tell him…

Toshiya covered his mouth, trying not to sob loudly. He couldn’t tell Kaoru…he just couldn’t say it! The words were on the tip of his tongue…but he just couldn’t let them out! Toshiya couldn’t tell his beloved that he was also…also…that was his deepest secret…nobody knew, nobody except-

"Toshiya!" Kyo called out his name. The bassist saw him sitting on one of the benches. So Kyo was there waiting for him? The whole time? Sweet Kyo, he did everything for him that night…that night…Toshiya blinked to see Kyo approaching him.

"Did you tell? What did he say?" Kyo asked quickly, looking paler than Toshiya and worry filled his eyes. The vocalist sighed tiredly as Toshiya shook his head.

"I…I can’t…" he whispered.

"Toshiya…" Kyo began, but there was no point. Both men gasped and turned as they heard footsteps. To Toshiya’s horror, Kaoru appeared and called his name. The pink head looked worried, and Toshiya turned paler. Kyo bit his lip when Toshiya tensed up and decided that he should run away.

"Totchi! Wait!!! What the-" Kaoru stuttered seeing his lover backed away, as if running away from him! Kyo turned to him, then to Toshiya’s retreating back. Then back to Kaoru, who looked confused, and hurt.

"What is wrong with him?!" Kaoru pulled Kyo’s arm, looking sharply into his eyes. The singer gulped, looked at Toshiya and frowned as the younger man was nowhere to be seen. Kaoru squeezed his arm, "Kyo! What happened?" Kaoru hissed. The smaller man winced and pushed him away.

"Think about this…Few months ago Toshiya was invited to a friend’s birthday party" Kyo began in a really serious voice. He turned his back to Kaoru, who quickly made it to his side, staring at the younger man’s face.

"He looked so pretty…" Kyo’s eyes all dreamy gazing towards the exit door. "He was wearing all blue, something looked like that Myaku costume he had…the prettiest! And I still remembered how he showed his crooked teeth smiling so cutely waving me goodbye" Kaoru waited for a while. Kyo turned to him, his eyes filled with sadness.

"Toshiya went out with a sweet smile on his face, looking forward for the party, and at the same night, he came home bruised, torn and bloody"

Kaoru stopped his breath.

"…"

"W-what?"

Kyo jerked his head up, smiling slowly.

"Talk to him, Kaoru" Kyo ended softly and turned away, leaving him stoned. Kaoru joined his eyebrows, staring at the white tiles, trying to digest Kyo’s words. Bruised…torn and bloody…? Nani? Deciding that there was no way he could understand, Kaoru managed to stand on his weak knees, and-

"Kaoru! where have you been?! We were looking for you everywhere!" came a hiss and somebody grabbed his arm strongly. Kaoru winced and turned. It was Yoshiki, looking a bit angry.

"A-ah…Yoshiki-san…" was all he could say. A part of him wanted to chase Kyo, grabbed him by the collar demanding for an answer. But another part of him said Shinya was the one getting hurt, the victim, the priority! He’s the present! And everyone was doing something for Shinya!

"We’re all waiting for you! Come, let’s go! We have some questions for the detective, remember?!" Yoshiki scolded him. Kaoru looked at him weirdly, not believing a day like this, that Shinya came first, not his lover, Toshiya. But then he had to go ne? For Shinya…

"Gomenasai…" he said weakly and let Yoshiki dragged him to the doctor’s office. He looked over his shoulder, and he thought he saw Toshiya, hiding behind the wall, staring at him. But there was no Toshiya… right? Maybe he should wait. Tonight, he would see his lover anyway.

*

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