GRAVITY 60
by Lady7
***
"Kyo, stop it! You can’t really see what’s going on in there anyway!" Toshiya pulled the collar of Kyo’s shirt, trying to get him away from the door. The singer protested stucking his tongue out, "Heh, look who’s talking…I thought Toshiya-kun from Dir en Grey loved this kind of thing! You’d be the first one to glue your ears on the door!"
Toshiya pinched Kyo’s arm, "Nani?! Who said that?! Giving me such a bad reputation!" he pouted as Kyo replied, "You already HAVE a bad reputation…" Toshiya slapped Kyo’s arm hard, "No I don’t!!! Being known as the sex God of the band isn’t that bad…" Toshiya smirk.
Kyo pretended to throw up making weird noises while Yoshiki really wanted to comment on it. The doc shook his head and excused himself to his office. Kaoru leaned on the wall (oh no, he’s the lifeless one now…) staring at his bandmates.
What is his position now?
Toshiya…is Toshiya still his koibito?
Or maybe Toshiya…isn’t? There’s no talk or anything about it. He slapped him hard on the cheek, and they didn’t talk anymore since then. So it’s right for Kaoru to assume they had broken up right? But he had to talk to Toshiya…whatever happened! Where did the love go?
Is it gone…JUST LIKE THAT?! Die swore he didn’t want to see Shinya again, yet he came to the hospital in the morning, and won back Shinya. Kaoru did it the way Die did…would he get Toshiya back? The pink head stared at his…lover. Toshiya sneezed and turned to the other direction, talking to Kyo.
Kaoru closed his eyes and rested his forehead on the wall, thinking at least a problem was solved! Die and Shinya would be together again…and they would be happy again. Though things wouldn’t be the same…anymore. Maybe Shinya wouldn’t be the same old Shinya they knew…and maybe Die wouldn’t be the same old Die they knew…
But at least…they were together…
"Kaoru-kun…"
Kaoru opened his eyes.
Toshiya stood nervously in front of him, "I need to talk to you…" the older one nodded and followed Toshiya walking down the corridor. Kyo watched with worried look showing on his face. There was something wrong with Toshiya. Something really wrong…was he really going to break up with Kaoru? maybe not…
Toshiya loved Kaoru…they loved each other…
But Die loved Shinya when he went home drunk…and Shinya loved Die when he went out partying with friends…and the fact that both Die and Shinya loved each other so much yet they stayed away from each other made Kyo think that maybe…maybe same thing would happen with Kaoru and Toshiya…
One problem solved came another one…
"Kyo…"
The singer winced, no…there were still few more problems unsolved, and Kyo was just too tired to think about it. He sighed, not responding and tried to ignore but he felt his arm being pulled back. The small man looked up facing Yoshiki’s stare.
"What do you want?" Kyo asked, a bit harshly. Yoshiki shook his head, "Kyo, stop it! You know what I want! Do you get my messages?"
Kyo turned away, "No…"
Yoshiki joined his eyebrows, "Kyo! What did I do? Why do you hate me?" Kyo pouted, slapping Yoshiki’s arm away, "I don’t hate you…" he walked away, but Yoshiki easily caught up, "Then what’s with this attitude? You never talk to me, or…be nice…or-"
Kyo growled and turned to face the older man, "First of all, there’s nothing to talk about! And I don’t have to be nice to you!" he put his hands in the pockets, "So please just leave me alone…I don’t understand this!" Kyo snorted, "I spent a night with you…and here you are right now, trying to ‘talk’ to me!"
Kyo didn’t notice the hurt in those eyes…
"There’s nothing to talk about Yoshiki-san…stop calling me, stop sending messages, stop trying to talk to me!"
Kyo lifted his eyes up, and regretted what he had just said. Well, not quite. But he wished he didn’t put it the way he had. It sounded too harsh and …painful.
"Can’t you just…give us a chance?" Yoshiki held his shoulders, "Kyo! It felt so right!" the younger one rolled his eyes and this time, he gently pushed Yoshiki’s hands away, "Yoshiki-san. I’m not into a relationship. I don’t believe in love, and I don’t think it’s the right time to be with a person for me" he spoke politely.
Yoshiki stared at him in disbelief.
"And all the things that had happened…they make me lose the faith I have in love…no, love doesn’t exist in Kyo’s life anymore…"
Yoshiki shook his head, "I’m not saying about love"
"I know! But it’s not the right time to talk about it!" Kyo looked up meeting Yoshiki’s gaze, "And I don’t think we are the right people to be together. That night was a mistake, a BIG mistake. I hope you know what I mean, Yoshiki-san…"
Kyo looked towards the door of Shinya’s room.
"If we didn’t …if we-" Kyo stopped, "Shinya wouldn’t be in there…it’s all because of us…"
Yoshiki sighed aloud, "Kyo…please. They are back together now…" but the younger one shook his head, "No. whatever happens…I can’t believe what I had done! I won’t forget that night…EVER!" Kyo took a deep breath. There was something he wanted to say…
"And I don’t understand why on earth are you doing this to me! ME! I’m Kyo, and just Kyo. You’re Yoshiki-san…you and your big name…" the producer shook his head quickly,
"Come on Kyo! I’m human too!"
"But why me?!!! What’s its meaning for you? Just to get the loneliness away?!" Kyo hissed in anger, not knowing why the heck he did that. But he was boiling in anger. With no reason at all!!! The singer stepped back, "Just leave me alone…please.."
Yoshiki massaged his temple watching Kyo’s retreating back.
He would never understand Kyo. No one would…ever!
*
Toshiya pouted, trying his best not letting the wind to mess his hair up. Kaoru watched as the bassist tied his hair up. He loved seeing that…he loved to see the back of Toshiya’s neck. And to touch it…
"I want to tell you something…" Kaoru’s eyes snapped open and he nodded standing in front of Toshiya. The younger one hesitated for a while, but then he gathered all his courage and continued, "I have been thinking a lot. About us, and how we treat each other…"
Kaoru looked at him with his own usual manner. Alluring eyes, natural pouty lips, and Toshiya knew about the tender touches…but he kicked that out of his mind.
"We seem to get together so quickly, but we fight a lot, and things happen. I’ve thought over it, for everyone’s sake. That, maybe we shouldn’t be together anymore"
Toshiya nodded, convincing himself about it. He looked determined. And Kaoru had no reason to say anything else other than what he had in mind.
"Since you’ve thought about it, over and over again…and I respect your decision…I can’t do anything, can I…" Kaoru stopped, studying his face, "Toshiya-kun?"
The younger one looked away, "I…maybe we’re moving too fast. Maybe we need…time" he whispered. Kaoru’s eyes narrowed, "Yeah, sure. I understand that fully. Time is what we need, and time is exactly the reason why" Toshiya joined his eyebrows at the weird tone of Kaoru’s voice.
"The need of time is what they say to break it gently…"
Toshiya looked at Kaoru.
"Time to think over, time to get to know each other better, time to understand each other’s feelings…so many things need so much time! And all come to one simple conclusion. The lovers never come back!" Kaoru spoke coldly, clearly. Toshiya felt hot in his eyes and stung around his nose.
"If you want to say ‘goodbye’ say it right to my face. Don’t use other excuses…"
Toshiya shook his head.
"I can watch the person I truly love walk away…I’m tough, and strong. I’m used to it already"
Toshiya bit his lip, looking at Kaoru in disbelief. He tried not to blink, tried not to sob or anything. Little did he know Kaoru was trying to do the same. Now I know how Die felt, Kaoru thought. And now I know how Shinya felt, Toshiya thought. The love was there, clearly. They could feel it. But there was something…something between them.
Barrier…what kind of ‘something’?
Love made you feel happy, yet it was so painful sometimes… There were times they were happy, that tears of joy came out. Then other times the pain occurred and tears of grief came out.
One thing led to another…keeping you down feeling fate spinning your mind. Happiness came sending you up to seventh heaven and when grief gave you a smack on the face, you would fall back to the ground.
Gravity…
Again and again…
Zutto…
Toshiya stared as Kaoru stared at him. Deeply, into each other’s eyes, and there were no words spoken, no questions to be asked, no answers to be replied. So that was it right? That was it.
The love is still there…but the wall is also there…
*
----<<@
Nope, it’s not gonna end here…
Sorry guys…
----<<@
Lady7
*
Send comments to Author