***

Dedicated to VM and Mi-chan…

----<<@

***

"Ahhh…" he moaned. Slowly his palms brushed the smooth skin beneath the shirt. He felt the other man’s lips on his neck then cried out as it bit him there. Toshiya’s eyes fluttered open wanting to see the man.

"Kaoru…ah…" he moaned again as the guitarist cupped his arousal, "Please…" Kaoru smiled sweetly, whispering near his ear, "Totchi…my love…" he gasped and moved his hands tugging them on Kaoru’s hair. He narrowed his eyes feeling something odd…and…he was grabbing something looked like…spider webs?!!!

Toshiya looked at him in disbelief. Kaoru’s eyes were half closed in pleasure and he had the cutest pout on his face. But…but…something moved. Toshiya widened his eyes as Kaoru’s face moved closer…and closer…something crept from behind the older man’s ear…and now crawling across his high cheekbone…something black…and furry…with eight legs…black…and alive!!!

"Gyahhhh!!!!!"

Toshiya screamed hysterically, as loud as he could. He took a quick breath and sat up the bed. Breathing heavily, panting loudly he looked around. He felt tears rolled down his cheeks…and…he heard somebody whimpered in fear sounded like himself. The bassist rolled his eyes around again. Dark room…cold…naked…no Kaoru…dream?

Somebody moved beside him and growled. "Toshiya?" the man moved up and wrapped an arm around his waist. Toshiya wiped his wet cheeks. Die held his chin and stared at him worriedly.

"What happened? Nightmare? Don’t cry…" the red head wrapped both arms around his waist. "I’m here…don’t worry…" he whispered rubbing his palm against Toshiya’s naked back. The younger man sobbed and nodded.

"S-spider…" he whispered. Die looked around his room, "No spiders…it’s just a dream…look!" Die flipped the blanket around. He smiled looking at the younger man. Toshiya blushed and hugged Die tighter,

"Scared…"

"Shh! No spiders!" he patted Toshiya’s back gently.

Toshiya finally smiled. Die sighed and looked at the alarm clock, "Gosh! It’s three" he looked at Toshiya and smiled slyly. Toshiya joined both eyebrows.

"Well…since we’re awake…" Die whispered one tone lower. The bassist stuck his tongue out, "No! go away!" he got up and walked towards the door, -naked-. Die arched an eyebrow, "Come on Toshiya…and you’re not walking around naked in my apartment are you?" he asked in disbelief admiring the great view.

The door opened and Toshiya turned his head around, slightly posing for the older man,

"I’m Toshiya…I’m unbelievable" he smiled mischievously and closed the door. Die sat on the bed for a while before rushing to the door. He opened it and yelled, "I’m coming!!!" he made roaring sounds and Toshiya panickedly rushed towards the kitchen. Screams and giggles could be heard.

"Let it be two naked men running around Toshiya…I’m gonna get you!"

*

"Ohayoo gozaimasu" Shinya said cheerfully. He looked around only to find Kyo glaring at him, "You don’t have to be that cheerful you know…it hurts my ear" he pointed at his left ear. Shinya gasped and rushed to him, "Are you okay?" Kyo hid a grin and shook his head, "It hurts here…" he pointed at his ear again.

Shinya looked at him worriedly, "I’m sorry…really…" Kyo pouted, "Hn…" whining. Shinya gulped, "I’m so sorry…I’ll do anything Kyo-kun…" the small guy grinned, "I want a kiss…" the drummer blushed but kissed him on the lips.

"Hey, Kyo…don’t use it as a reason to molest others!" Kaoru crossed his arms on his chest and looked at Kyo irritably. He too got the same and found out Kyo was only teasing him. Shinya blushed and turned away. Kyo grinned evilly.

"I don’t molest others!"

"Ohaiyo!!!" Die yelled and entered the room, yawning. Kyo glared, "Die! Don’t yell! You hurt my ear!" the red head turned pale and rushed to him, "Are you okay? They hurt? Still?" Kyo nodded sadly. Kaoru rolled his eyes as Shinya whined and hugged Kyo possessively. Die raised an eyebrow,

"What’s the matter with you Shinya?"

"Kyo-kun is mine…" he stated. Kyo turned to him while Die narrowed his eyes. "No…he’s mine…" he pulled Kyo and held his arm tightly. Die threw a winning look to him as Kyo didn’t attempt to release himself. Shinya glared at the red head then walked away. Suddenly Die whistled,

"Tight butt Shin-chan! Beautiful!"

*

Toshiya opened the door quickly, "I heard Die screaming…" he looked around and sweatdrop.

Shinya was chasing Die running around the room with a guitar on his hand. Kyo cheered and whistled and jumped on a couch. Kaoru trailed off behind Shinya yelling, "Shinya! My guitar! Bitch! Don’t you dare to drop it! Shinya!!!" the older man screamed but was obviously ignored by the drummer.

"Guys!!! Stop!!!" Toshiya let out a long scream/shriek/yell and everyone stopped.

"Hn…Toshiya…you hurt my ear…" Kyo whimpered. The bassist turned pale and rushed to him, "I’m so sorry…really? They hurt? Still?" The vocalist nodded sadly.

"Hey! That’s what I said!" Die and Shinya exclaimed in unison. Kaoru sweatdrop.

*

Toshiya pouted as Die hugged him from behind. The red head landed his teeth on his shoulder and Toshiya kicked him, "Stop it!!!" the older man ignored him and continued kissing, nibbling him on the neck. The bassist squirmed away.

"Toshiya…don’t I get a kiss?" Die whined. The younger man sighed and kissed his lips.

"Guys…can you do it somewhere else?" Yoshiki appeared from nowhere and was standing right behind them. Die pouted and let him go. Toshiya glared at the producer.

"Where’s Kaoru?"

Toshiya felt himself shivered hearing that name. Die shook his head, "Don’t know…somewhere…" he heard Yoshiki sighed. "Toshiya-kun…can you hand this to him?" Toshiya winced and took the papers from him. "Can’t you ask Die?"

Yoshiki smiled, "I like you better…" he winked at the sexy man. Die pouted, "What the heck?" Toshiya laughed, "Oh…he likes me Die…what should I do?" the red head glared at him, "Then go see him!" Die replied sulkily. The bassist wet his lips in sensuous way. He managed to climb up Die’s back.

"Ne Die…you probably fuck better…" he whispered and licked Die’s earlobe. The older man snorted and threw Toshiya to a table.

"Let’s see…" he eyed Toshiya like a tiger eyeing its prey. Toshiya met his stare fearlessly and parted his legs posing seductively on the table.

*

Kaoru traced patterns down his stomach. He moaned as those fingers tickled him down there. Toshiya arched his back feeling warm breath near his length. He called the older man’s name once…twice…and thrust deeper and deeper into his mouth.

"Mnn…"

Hearing this, Kaoru stopped. Toshiya let out a gasp of loss. He shook his head and held Kaoru’s head down,

"No…more please…Kaoru…" Toshiya whined. Kaoru smiled then went back to work. The younger man moaned and gasped and soon he felt himself reaching the spot…Toshiya thrust as fast as he could, his breath caught in his throat…and his hands grabbed Kaoru’s hair. His eyes snapped open as he pulled few locks of hair off Kaoru’s head.

Toshiya brought his hands near his face so he could take a look.

Spider webs…white…warm…wet…he looked down to Kaoru who still licked and sucked…

"Gyahhhh!!!!!!!"

"Toshiya! Hey! Wake up!" somebody shook his shoulders. Toshiya gasped and opened his eyes. He breathed heavily and felt hot in his eyes. Die looked at him worriedly and when he looked around; Kyo and Shinya stared at him weirdly.

"Hey! Nightmare again?" the red head sighed. Toshiya whimpered and threw arms around Die’s neck. Kyo and Shinya looked at each other.

"Scared…" Toshiya sobbed.

After a while, Kyo couldn’t hold his curiosity. Pulling Toshiya’s shirt, he asked "Toshiya…what happened?" Shinya nodded kneeling on his knees beside the smaller man, "Hai…what kind of night mare?" Toshiya turned pale remembering the dream. Die noticed and threw a glare at Shinya. The drummer glared back.

Toshiya opened his mouth wanting to tell them. But he realized something and looked at Die. The red head looked back at him. He sighed, "Ne…spider…" he whispered with blushing cheeks.

Kyo held back laughter, "Spiders?!!! Toshiya-chan…that’s not nightmare! That’s cool dream!" Shinya tried not to giggle. Die glared. Toshiya felt uncomfortable and pulled away. Die looked at him weirdly. Why did Toshiya pull himself away?

If only he knew the answer.

*

"Guys, did Yoshiki hand you a pile of important papers of my music?" he asked desperately. Shinya shook his head, Kyo turned away, Die looked at Toshiya and the bassist pouted. He took the papers and handed them to the guitarist…in disgust. Kaoru smiled to him, "Arigato" but soon realized the unwillingness of Toshiya getting near him. Kaoru pouted and pulled the younger man’s arm. Toshiya screamed as he landed perfectly on Kaoru.

Kyo grinned.

Shinya looked at Die.

Die pouted.

"What’s up Totchi?" he hugged the bassist tightly. Toshiya squeezed his eyes closed feeling Kaoru’s arms wrapped around him. Die stepped forward once smiling at Kaoru.

"Hey…don’t like me anymore?" Kaoru teased and landed a soft kiss on his cheek. Out of his expectation, Toshiya opened his eyes. That was a short kiss…but felt so good! He lifted his eyes up and gazed at Kaoru who smiled at him. Feeling that he might blush furiously Toshiya pushed him away. It was just a kiss on the cheek…but…it was so soft and tender…so different…

"Toshiya…?" Kaoru looked at his back, worriedly. Something was wrong ne? The bassist felt his heartbeat grew faster and louder. Oh no! don’t let them hear it Toshiya! Don’t!

"Toshiya…?" this time it was Die. Toshiya turned back and saw Die smiling to him.

"What’s wrong?" the bassist shook his head then went to him. Die hugged him protectively, "It’s okay…" he whispered kissing Toshiya’s forehead.

Kaoru looked at Shinya then Kyo. He looked a bit worried. Toshiya was acting so weird! (Ah…finally somebody else acts weird-L7)

*

Toshiya sat on the bed resting his chin on his knee. Die stood in front of him staring at pretty man worriedly. The bassist had decided not to sleep. Die slowly walked towards him, pouting.

"Sure you don’t wanna sleep? It’s just a dream anyway…" he climbed up the bed and kissed Toshiya on his lips. Toshiya sighed and nodded.

He covered his face and rubbed it roughly. Die gave him a sympathetic look. Suddenly a grin sketched on his face. The red head moved closer slowly and kissed the back of his neck. Toshiya pouted.

"On va au lit?" Die whispered huskily near his ear planting soft kisses around the area. The bassist raised an eyebrow and turned to him.

"That’s French or something ne? I thought you’re into German…?" he asked confusedly. Die stopped then shrugged, "Well…they said French sounded romantic…so…" he continued kissing the younger man’s cheek. Toshiya snorted, "You? romantic?" he looked at Die’s eyes.

"You can’t be romantic even if you try really hard…" Toshiya laughed seeing Die glaring at him. Suddenly Die pushed him down the bed, "What do you mean? Of course I can…you never see that side of me!" he started kissing him on his face. Toshiya protested and shook his head. The younger man pushed him gently and turned away facing his back to Die.

"Iie…not tonight" he mumbled. Die sighed and leaned on him, "Why? he brushed Toshiya’s long flowing hair gently. There was a tone of disappointment so Toshiya turned to him.

"Die…I don’t want you to be romantic…" he whispered. Die thought for a while then nodded, "That’s true…I feel quite weird actually…" he threw himself on the bed. They lay like that for a while; drown in their own thoughts. Toshiya thought of his dreams…Kaoru…why was he in his dream? So weird! He wanted to tell Die…but how could he?

Die is so nice to me…he’ll get really mad. On his bed after sex dreaming about another guy…

"Die…please help me stay awake…I don’t wanna dream tonight!" he spoke loudly. Die pouted, "I can do that…" Toshiya imagined Die grinning mischievously. "But you’ll eventually fall asleep and it’ll be so hard to wake you up…boo!" the red head gently stroke his stomach. Toshiya laughed, "Quite true…" but he didn’t want to dream…he didn’t want to have another dream of Kaoru having sex with him while he was in bed with Die!

"Then I’ll get scolded by Yoshiki and Kaoru!" Die continued. Toshiya blushed in the dark.

"Funny how you survive with Kyo…every morning…" Die chuckled. Toshiya laughed and shook his head, "Kyo wakes up quite okay…it’s just he sleeps after that…in the kitchen, shower, studio…" he smiled remembering all those time…it felt like ages ago but it wasn’t even a month yet…

"Oh, we all know that…" Die mumbled. There was another long pause. They forgot to realize how weird it was lying like that in the dark…without actually doing anything.

"I never know anything about Shinya…"Die finally began.

"Oho! I thought you’re the only one who know him well! Tease him at every single chance you can get!" Die felt Toshiya’s hand hitting him. The guitarist frowned, "I don’t know…seriously" he shook his head trying to convince the younger man. Toshiya smiled and closed his eyes. He was getting sleepy…

"Die…do you think we’re fading?" he didn’t know why he asked. He wished he didn’t. Silence filled the air.

"Actually…" Die didn’t finish the sentence. He wrapped an arm around Toshiya’s waist and shut his eyes. Toshiya smiled slowly and hugged him back. His eyes closed slowly…

*

"Ah…what is this?" Toshiya looked around. He was in a room. A big room with desks and chairs and he was alone. He could smell the scent of salty sea. He walked few steps and felt the ground’s dampness through his shoes. Toshiya scratched his head, he didn’t why he was there…but he knew he had to get out! As soon as possible! Panicked, he saw a door and quickly opened it. But it didn’t open even when he pushed it hard with all his strength!

"Oh…I have to get out…" he whined and pushed the door again. Suddenly he heard something…so he turned his head around. There was no one…nothing there. He felt something made him jerked his head up. So when he did so, he gasped in surprise.

"Goodness…" he had never seen a huge giant spider webs formed neatly on the ceiling. He wanted to scream but his voice gone in fear. He casted his eyes around the room. No spiders…

"I have to go out…" he mumbled nervously and again pushed the door hard. Finally, it opened. He ran as fast as he could and when he stopped, "Heh?" the view of the sea greeted him. He looked around. He was at the harbour? Where was he? What place was it?

"Toshiya…" somebody called him. The bassist turned around and saw a figure standing far far away from him. But he could hear his voice clearly! How come? He didn’t know…but he knew he had to see the person, so he ran as fast as he could, again, to meet the person. Toshiya stopped in front of the figure, slightly panted.

It was Kaoru.

"Totchi…" the guitarist whispered followed by a charming smile. Toshiya gasped, it was such a beautiful smile. Kaoru moved his hand touching his cheek. Slowly, he rubbed his palm against his soft skin. Toshiya felt himself smiling to the older man. Suddenly everything moved!

The ground shook! Toshiya gasped and turned around to face the sea. He was so amazed to see the sun rising. Toshiya smiled…startled. But it was so bright…too bright for his eyes. So he shut them.

When he opened his eyes, dark ceiling greeted him. Toshiya blinked and turned his head around. Die…sleeping peacefully…calmly…with arm wrapped on his waist.

Another dream! Another dream of Kaoru!!!

*

"Good morning Toshiya-kun…how are you today?" Yoshiki asked as he placed himself beside the smoking Toshiya. The younger man nodded nervously. Yoshiki stared at the ground, "I never see you smoking so much…problems?" he asked. The bassist merely nodded and tiredly rubbed the area between his eyes. Yoshiki looked at him sympathetically,

"What’s wrong? Not getting any sleep? Is it Die?" he asked again.

Toshiya sighed, ‘I’ll be grateful if it is! Things will be easy for me!" he tried not to snap. It was Yoshiki talking to him. The producer was trying to help…it’s not everyday seeing Yoshiki sitting on the stairs smoking with him, early in the morning! But how could he tell him what happened? Maybe…

"I can’t sleep…I dreamt weird things!" he finally spoke. Yoshiki nodded, "Okay…fix you life…something is wrong in reality and it runs after you even when you’re in fantasy land…" the older man smiled and walked away. Toshiya joined his eyebrows, "And what the heck does that mean?" he shrugged then took out another cigarette.

"I’m not sleeping!" he stared at the cigarette, swore then put it back into the pack. Toshiya stood up and walked towards the rehearsal area hoping to see his band mates…certain band mates like Shinya or Kyo.

Not Die or Kaoru…

*

"Hey, Toshiya!" Kyo greeted him. Shinya smiled and nodded at him. Toshiya smiled back and threw himself on the couch opposite the one Kyo and Shinya were sitting. He stared at them for a while…Kyo pouting at Shinya cutely while the drummer stared at the smaller guy playing with his hair.

"Na…Toshiya-kun’s eyes dropping!" Shinya exclaimed. Toshiya flapped his eyes and shook his head. "I have to stay awake!" he mumbled but it was clear enough for Kyo to hear it.

"Heh… that’ll be hard! Kaoru isn’t here until…" he looked at his watch, "Ten…which is another sixty minutes to go!" he grinned at Toshiya,

"Welcome to the sleepy land…but I’m sure you’re quite familiar with that…" Kyo yawned, "I have to sleep too…Oyasumi Shin-chan" Kyo kissed the younger man’s cheek then closed his eyes. The drummer pouted and stared at Toshiya funnily.

"Hey…what’s up? Die-kun tires you up?" he grinned. Toshiya ignored and closed his eyes.

*

He arched his back against the firm chest, moaning loudly as pleasure filled his body and his soul. Toshiya clenched his nails on the shoulders, hard.

"Kaoru…" he whispered through his parted lips. He opened his eyes and locks of pink hair greeted him. Kaoru smiled and wrapped his arms around him, "Totchi…" he whispered back planting kisses on the younger man’s face. The bassist hugged him tightly, enjoying every thrust Kaoru made into him. He heard Kaoru moaned his name, then…

Toshiya widened his eyes, what was that? He saw something moving…from Kaoru’s tiny butt crept up to his waist…then it moved up slowly and almost touched his hands. It was black, fury…and…and…

"Gyahhhhhh!!!"

"Toshiya!!! Wake up!" somebody yelled and shook his body. His eyes snapped open and droplets of sweat appeared on his head, his hands…

"Hey…what’s the matter honey?" Toshiya heard the voice and looked up. Die biting his lip hard studying his face worriedly. He looked around and found Shinya’s wide eyes studying his face too. Kyo was sleeping. Toshiya felt hot in his eyes. He couldn’t take it anymore! What was that horrible dream?!!! One minute he was having the time of his life…the pleasure was so great that he could even feel it when he was awake! He blinked his eyes then the next second he was having that fear he never had!

It was always the same kind of dream! Sex with Kaoru followed by that horrible creature people called spider crawling up Kaoru’s beautiful body!

Beautiful? When did I say that? How do I know?

"Ohaiyo guys…sorry I’m late!" Kaoru greeted them a little bit sheepishly. Toshiya gasped seeing the pink head. Kaoru looked at him, "Hey! What happened? Finished the marathon?" the guitarist mocked. Toshiya took a look at him. Nothing different…he was still normal Kaoru, but…why did he dream about Kaoru?

It’s normal dreaming about friends but few times in a row dreaming about having sex with Kaoru? that’s not normal!!! Toshiya screamed in his mind and decided to look away. Especially when you’re with somebody else…The bassist stole a glance at Die. Poor Die…he must’ve really worried about me…stupid me…what am I doing with Kaoru?!

"Ano…we should start the practice…" Toshiya mumbled walking away. Die widened his eyes being ignored. Shinya looked at him suspiciously but decided to wake Kyo up.

*

"Enough!" Shinya growled the way people thought he wouldn’t be able to. He held the drumsticks tightly and let out a frustrated sigh. The sound of screwed up guitars and bass filled the air. Kyo sighed too and turned to look at Shinya. Everyone else did the same. Shinya felt guilty but he couldn’t take it anymore.

"Toshiya-kun…I’m so sorry…but I can’t do this…" he motioned with his hands. Everyone’s attention was switched to Toshiya. The bassist chewed his lip. Shinya looked at him tiredly. Die pouted while Kaoru glanced at Kyo. The smaller guy sighed.

"It’s the third time you made the same mistake…I’m sorry but I can’t stand that…" Shinya tried to explain; "If you’re tired…why don’t we stop?" the drummer looked around and found Kyo and Die as well as Kaoru nodding in agreement, even though they had just started. Toshiya gulped and bowed to everyone, "Gomen ne…I’m just really tired…"

Die sighed.

Kaoru pouted, "Okay guys…let’s have a break…" he raised his hands up. The pink head turned and saw Toshiya looking at him weirdly…like he was scared at him! Smiling, the older man walked towards Toshiya. Seeing this, the bassist winced and his heart fluttered as Kaoru walked closer and closer…

"Hey…are you okay?" Kaoru’s hand reached out for his; he glanced at the older man’s face and Kaoru was smiling supportively. He felt himself blushing so he quickly turned away. Kaoru’s arm touched his shoulder. Toshiya smiled and stared at the bare arm instead of its owner’s face.

What’s that?

Toshiya narrowed his eyes. Something crept out from the guitarist’s sleeve. It was black…furry…with eight legs…

"Hey…" he could only hear it faintly…the most important thing right now was the thing that crept on Kaoru’s arm heading to his shoulder. What was it? Was it something he thought it was? Was it …

Across the room Die was staring at both of them suspiciously. Shinya was standing beside Kyo who talked to him but the drummer also noticed the strangeness of Toshiya’s expression. Kaoru smiled warmly but deep inside he wondered why Toshiya turned pale. The bassist was staring at his arm as if he saw something horrible there…

Toshiya’s jaw dropped as his vision went clear. He quickly jumped up making Shinya and Die jumped too. Startled, Kaoru tried to smile and reached out for him. Seeing that, Toshiya’s fear built up in a second.

"Don’t touch me!!!" he shrieked.

Kyo jumped, Shinya gasped, Die froze, Kaoru looked hurt.

"Get off! You horrible creature! I hate you! Stop following me!!!" Toshiya screamed hysterically and shook his head. Kaoru choked, "Toshiya! What’s the matter with you?" he looked at him in disbelief. Tears already rolled down Toshiya’s cheeks. Die gulped and rushed to him; the red head pulled Toshiya’s trembled body close. The bassist wrapped his arms tightly around his waist, "Go away…I hate you…" he whispered.

Kaoru shook his head in shock. When his mind started to work properly, Kaoru snorted, "Okay! Whatever!" he snapped and slammed the door behind him.

Die winced, Toshiya sobbed, Shinya bit his lip, Kyo blinked.

"Guys…what happened?" the vocalist asked confusedly. He was talking to Shinya but the younger man wasn’t really listening to him. And the next thing he knew was Toshiya screaming in horror! Kyo turned to the direction of the door slammed by Kaoru. The guitarist looked pissed. Kyo pouted, of course he was mad! Toshiya was the apple of his eyes and the bassist was like telling him to go away…

"Scared…s-scared…" was the only thing coming out from Toshiya. It was a whisper.

Kyo looked at Shinya who looked at Toshiya weirdly. The drummer glanced at Die for a while then he had a slight tiny smile on his lip. The older man raised an eyebrow but he didn’t really want to ask the drummer right now. Better left things first then worked on the secret. Kyo liked it that way…

*

Die handed him a glass of water and Toshiya took a long sip of it. The red head looked at him worriedly but the younger man tried to ignore the stare. Toshiya really didn’t want to tell him but Die would ask him! What should he do? Telling him the truth?

I dreamt of having sex with Kaoru your good friend after I had you in me…he mumbled mentally.

He looked at Die, who smiled at him. He’s such a nice guy…that will hurt him so much! But I can’t keep the secret forever! I have to tell him! Toshiya stared at Die.

"Die…I have to tell you something really important…" he held Die’s hands tightly. The older man gulped and nodded.

"I dreamt of weird things…" he began. Die stopped and held his hands tightly as if supporting him. Toshiya felt guilty even more! Poor Die…(Hn…)

"But not just weird things…I dreamt of Kaoru…" he stopped studying Die’s face. The older man looked shocked! But then he sighed. "Oh…I thought you had nightmares! Kaoru is Kaoru ne? what’s wrong with Kaoru? and why did you say you hated him?" Die asked confusedly.

Oh no…Kaoru’s his good friend! And I’m going out with him…

"I…there were spider webs in the dream…and I saw a spider…always the same spider…" Toshiya stuttered with both hands holding his cheeks. Die winced and wrapped his arm around Toshiya’s shoulder. The red head looked at him worriedly again, "Shhh! It’s okay…it’s only spiders…"

Toshiya shook his head violently, "No…no…it was creeping up Kaoru’s body…while we were making love and…" Toshiya stopped. It wasn’t supposed to be that way…it sounded so bad! And he felt Die’s hug loosened. Toshiya gulped and lift his eyes up to glance at Die.

The guitarist parted his lip trying to say something. He digested Toshiya’s words and when he managed to get them, "No…what did you say…Kaoru and you…in your dream?" Toshiya could see pain in those eyes.

Die suddenly laughed humorlessly. "Hold on!…" he got up from his seat holding his chin. Toshiya looked at him sadly.

"You made love to him in your dream while you’re with me?" he asked. There was no reply.

"And you’re telling me that you didn’t want me to be romantic…in another word, you don’t want to make love to me?!" Die hissed. Toshiya bit his lip still studying Die’s face. The older man shook his head slowly, "I can’t believe this…" he brushed his hair with both hands. The bassist got up and held his arm,

"No…you get it wrong! It was so horrible that-"

"You chose him! Not me?! What do you mean horrible?! I’m sure you enjoy that so much Toshiya!" Die snapped and suddenly reached out for his shoulders. Toshiya gasped as Die shook his body.

"What hurt me most is that I’m not the one for you…and you’re still here with me…?" Die let him go and walked out the room. Toshiya threw himself on the couch and sobbed quietly. He thought Die took him as what he took Die…he looked so hurt! Die had more feelings to him than he had to the red head!

"But I thought you agreed that we were fading Die…how come…?" he faintly whispered through his sobs. Toshiya leaned back on the couch and frowned. What was going on? He gasped hearing the door opened and somebody stepped in. He jerked his head up hoping it was Die. But it wasn’t. It was a skinny person and he had a tiny smile on his face.

"Shinya…" he mumbled. The drummer sat beside him and Toshiya’s head fell on his shoulder.

"Help…"

Shinya nodded while his fingers played with Toshiya’s hair. He smiled because what he had in mind was probably right. He had just talked to Kaoru…and he found out something really important!

*

Koru threw his cigarette away. He pouted glaring at a corner with no purpose. He had just talked to Shinya and the drummer promised he would try to help. What was Toshiya thinking?! What happened to him?!

He hates me? He said those words so easily! How come? he really hates me then…

Kaoru bit his fingernails.

*

Die grunted and kicked the bin in front of him. How could Toshiya say it so easily? He knew what he was to the younger man and he felt the same way Toshiya felt for him, but…he didn’t mind trying to have it with Toshiya! Maybe he would fall in love…maybe one day he would find out Toshiya was the one…

I know he refused the idea…but he doesn’t have to be so mean! Why Kaoru anyway…because they flirt a lot? Is that why? so he’s the right one?

Die lit a cigarette.

I’m not supposed to be this mad am I? And Shinya! What’s his purpose throwing me that smile he had just now?!

When Die walked out the room Shinya suddenly appeared and he had a really weird smile on his face. Die being himself as Shinya’s one truly enemy could only ignore it but there was something in Die…

"Why was he smiling?! And he looked so calm?!" Die nervously took a drag of his cig. He hated it when Shinya did that…but shouldn’t Die be wondering if he was actually mad because of Shinya not Toshiya?

*

"What happened here?! Where’s everyone?!" Yoshiki yelled as he entered the rehearsal room. No one was there while they were supposed to be there! The producer shook his head in disbelief. Suddenly he heard some noise coming from one of the couches. Yoshii pouted realising it was a sound of yawning. He walked towards it quietly.

"Wake up!" he yelled loudly to the sleeping Kyo. The younger man jumped and glared at him. Yoshiki smirked. The vocalist held his ear and suddenly winced.

"My ear…it hurts! Don’t yell near me!" Kyo sounded like he was in deep pain and was going to cry. Yoshiki’s teasing expression disappeared and in a swift motion he climbed the couch and placed himself beside Kyo. The older man hugged his waist and pulled him closer. Kyo pouted.

"Aw…sorry love…here, give you a kiss…" Yoshiki kissed his forehead then looked at him with a charming smile. Kyo pouted more wondering how did Yoshiki know what he wanted?!

"Ah…of course I know Kyo-chan…" Yoshiki threw him a smirk. Kyo felt himself getting spoilt so he hugged Yoshiki’s waist tightly and leaned on his chest, "Hn…boring ne…" The older man played with his hair for a while before exhaled.

"You know…I can’t be bother to wait till tonight…" Yoshiki said and got up his seat. Kyo stared as his lover walked to the door and locked it.

*

"Okay…let’s see what we can do here…" Shinya straightened his back and pulled a chair so he could sit facing Toshiya. The bassist looked so sad but he had stopped crying. Shinya smiled and looked really calm, which he was not supposed to.

"Why are you so calm? I’m so scared right now…" Toshiya mumbled.

"Tell me what’s going on…something to do with your dreams right? Should I say nightmares…?" The drummer asked slightly teasing. And judging by Die’s grumpiness he sensed just now, the dreams must had been really serious! Shinya was smart…he had something in his mind…an idea…but it was better to find out from Toshiya himself.

"I dreamt of Kaoru…" Toshiya began. Shinya arched an eyebrow as if telling him he already knew that. "It wasn’t just once…but…" Toshiya tried to count but he lost, "A lot of times…and each time…we were having sex!" Toshiya’s eyes widened. The drummer looked at him weirdly, couldn’t really believe what Toshiya had just told him. But that was he had in mind anyway…

"Not just sex…but we seemed to love each other in my dreams…" Toshiya explained briefly while nervously looking at Shinya. The drummer nodded, "Okay…let me ask you something…are those nightmares?"

Toshiya rolled his eyes and raised a hand hitting Shinya’s arm. "Yes!!! With those spider webs and a huge black furry spider as the background…of course!!!" the bassist hissed.

Shinya winced slightly rubbing his arm, "So that’s it? Kaoru, sex, tarantula…that’s nightmare?" Shinya motioned with his hands. He sighed, "If Kyo was here…he’d think that’s the coolest sexiest dream…I mean…" Shinya blushed a little,

"Kaoru’s a babe…sex is sex…making love is something romantic and special…it’s full of pleasure and…" Shinya’s voice seemed to drop one tone lower and it came as a whisper. Toshiya shut his eyes remembering the feeling…the pleasure Kaoru gave him in the dreams…Shinya heard him moaning.

"Tarantula is sexy!" Shinya hissed near Toshiya’s ear. Hearing that horrible name Toshiya winced and opened his eyes quickly.

"Disgusting!" he hissed back at Shinya but couldn’t help blushing at the way he had moaned in front of the drummer. Shinya smiled slyly, "I don’t think you really take those dreams as nightmares Toshiya-kun…you seem to enjoy them…"

Toshiya frowned at the familiar words…didn’t Die say the same thing? That Toshiya enjoyed the dreams?

"No…and I told Die about it…" Shinya raised an eyebrow. Here was the interesting part. "You told him?!!! Are you insane?" Shinya asked him in disbelief, but he had that in mind too.

"Come on Shinya…I can’t keep that forever! Especially Die…" he looked at Shinya unwillingly, "You know what’s going on…between us" he stopped. The drummer nodded smiling to him.

"So you dreamt having sex with Kaoru while you’re with Die…" Shinya bit his fingernail. His eyes brightened in sudden, "I have an idea…but you have to play along with me…or else it won’t work!"

Toshiya gasped, "Hounto ni? You wanna help me?" he couldn’t believe Shinya wanted to help him!

Shinya nodded, "Domo, Shinya-kun…next time Die and Kaoru trying to take your dress off in public I’ll help you! I promise!" he hugged the drummer tightly smiling gladly. He hoped Shinya would help him sort this problem out! He couldn’t get through it alone…

*

Yoshiki played with Kyo’s hair while the singer glared at him suspiciously. They lay on the cold tile on the floor but none of them actually felt the cold even though they were both naked. Some people would feel really hot even after sex. Yoshiki pouted realising the killing glare.

"Why are you glaring at me?" he mouthed. Kyo bit his lip, "You just gave me a look about my cuteness…and you called me names like…" Kyo switched his voice to whiny tone, "Kyo-chan…or my cutie pie…" Yoshiki held back laughter.

"Ne, Kyo-chan…" Yoshiki began. Kyo pouted and moved away quickly. The singer sat up and grabbed his boxers but suddenly Yoshiki pulled him down. Kyo blushed as a pair of smooth lips kissed his passionately. He tried to struggle but the older man was surely stronger than him.

"Hmmph! Go away!" Kyo managed to break their union. Yoshiki smiled slyly, "Fine…" he got up and Kyo stared as the producer began to wear his clothes.

"I have to find the rest of you…any idea?" Yoshiki asked turning to Kyo. The singer shook his head, "Something weird is going on between Toshiya and Kaoru" he spoke wearing his own clothes too. His lover arched an eyebrow, "He? I thought Toshiya was with Die…"

Kyo rolled his eyes, "That’s why I said something ‘weird’ was going on…Toshiya was actually scared of him! He told Kaoru to go away and he hated him…"

"I thought they flirt a lot…there’s no way for Toshiya to hate Kaoru!" Kyo nodded, "Hai…" he straightened his back. Yoshiki walked towards the door and blew him a kiss, "Tonight…wait for me…" he took something out of his pocket and threw it to Kyo. The vocalist grinned and played with the keys.

"I’m really used to this…" he mumbled.

*

Yoshiki sighed tiredly and sat on the couch in his office. He found Die at the back area smoking. Kaoru was walking nervously up and down the corridor. Shinya was looking sexy in the rest room planning something with Toshiya. Kyo was right, things were so different in few days time! Usually it would be Die and Toshiya making out in the rest room or Die and Kaoru teasing Shinya in the rehearsal room or Die and Kaoru smoking in the back area.

*

Shinya made tapping noises on the table. Toshiya looked down studying his shoes while Die leaned on his chair. Kaoru pouted. Kyo yawned and yawned waiting for somebody to start the practice. Usually it would be Kaoru or Shinya saying Kyo-kun you may start…

But it was good this way…he could sleep until the practice time was over. Then he could go to Yoshiki’s house and enjoyed himself. No energy wasted.

"Are we going to do anything?" Shinya finally asked. He looked at Kaoru who was supposed to be the leader. The pink head ignored him. Shinya looked at Die who was the one after Kaoru but Die merely turned away. The drummer glanced at Toshiya but the bassist looked like as if he was gonna cry. There was no point looking at Kyo because the small guy already slept.

"Why don’t you ask our ‘leader’?" Die suddenly spoke. Shinya raised an eyebrow. Kaoru turned. "He’s the one who’s in ‘charge’!" Die added sarcastically. Shinya shook his head. Toshiya sobbed quietly. Suddenly the pink head snorted.

"Fake tears…" he mumbled. Die glared at him, "Shut up Kaoru!" Shinya looked at them in interest. Kyo woke up. Toshiya looked at Die, "It’s not what you think it is…" he whispered. The red head bit his lip, "Really? Then what is it?" Toshiya lifted his head up, "Kaoru…I’m so sorry but I didn’t mean what I had said just now…" he tried to explain but Die made funny noises sounded like the imitation of Toshiya’s whiny voice.

The bassist looked at Die in disbelief. "Die! Quit it! Don’t act this way! You should be mature enough to know that-" he was cut by Kaoru, "Somebody please tell me what’s going on?" he motioned with his hands while looking at Shinya. The drummer smiled, "I’ll tell you…Toshiya dreamt about-"

"Shut up Shinya!" Die snapped with slightly blushed cheeks.

"No! you shut up Die! I don’t know what’s going on here…I don’t take being yelled and screamed in front of everyone by somebody whiny who loves to cry!" Kaoru narrowed his eyes. Toshiya glared at him, "What do you mean by that?!" he hissed. Kaoru chuckled, "Oho! You do know, spoilt brat! I don’t care what you dreamt about! You just can’t yell at me then rush to your boyfriend for comfort as if I’m the one hurting you!" he spoke furiously.

Toshiya whimpered. How could Kaoru take it wrong?! He was talking to the spider not Kaoru! he hated the spider not the guitarist! He could never hate Kaoru!!!

"Don’t you dare say those things about Toshiya…" Die hissed. The bassist felt so sad…he had hurt Die but Die still defended him…he was so nice…it made Toshiya felt guilty even more!

"Aw…so sweet…makes me sick!" Kaoru made a face before turning to Shinya. "Tell me…"

Shinya smiled, "Toshiya told me about his dreams, well, nightmares, that you…" Shinya purposely stopped to take a look at Die. Kyo smiled shaking his head. Shinya…Shinya…bad bad Shinya…

Toshiya jumped as Die got up and yelled at Shinya, "Shut up Shinya! This is none of your business!" Kaoru gasped in disbelief, "Well, this is surely –my- business coz I’m –damn- hurt! And I want Shinya to explain what’s going on! It seems to me your ‘lovely’ man had a talk with my pretty Shinya" Kaoru snapped.

Shinya smiled in satisfaction to Die as the older man greeted his teeth.

"Well…just because Toshiya stroke your ego in a bad way doesn’t mean you can…" Shinya didn’t finish his sentence. Instead he sneered wanting Die to realize that Toshiya had told him what Die didn’t want Shinya to know about; that Toshiya dreamt of having sex with Kaoru together drown in passion while the bassist was going out with Die! And Toshiya did it on his bed! Die’s own bed…

Shinya really knew what kind of person Die was…the guitarist had teased him and made him mad everytime he had the chance to! Now it was payback time! Shinya was the first person to know while Die wanted him to be the last person to find out! (Do u get it? L -L7)

Die glared at Shinya as fiercely as he could but Shinya easily ignored it. Kyo sighed trying not to smile, "Don’t waste it Die…you can’t beat Shinya in something he’s really good at…" the singer couldn’t help grinning, "You taught him how to by the way…" Shinya smiled sweetly to Kyo.

Kaoru sighed, "Are you going to tell me now?" he asked Shinya tiredly. Suddenly Toshiya reached out for Shinya’s arm, "Don’t!" the bassist shrieked with blushing cheeks. He didn’t want Kaoru to know!

"Heh! Why not? I thought you wanted him to know…so you guys can make it real!" Die hissed throwing himself on the chair. Toshiya blushed furiously but managed to control himself. Kaoru massaged the area between his eyes. Die saw it, "Hey…your lovely guitarist is tired…why don’t you give him pleasure…like what you did…you know…" he asked sarcastically.

"Shut your f***ing mouth up!" Kaoru greeted his teeth. Die smirked and continued talking. Kaoru growled and stood up pulling Die close to him. Toshiya screamed, Shinya looked startled while Kyo’s jaw dropped.

"I just want to know what happened okay?" Kaoru shook his body. Die rolled his eyes, "Why don’t you ask your pretty bassist?!" before Kaoru knew what happened Die already pushed him hard. The pink head managed to support himself and moved forward pushing Die as hard as he could. The red head greeted his teeth and both guitarists ended up pushing, yelling, cursing each other.

Toshiya sighed in frustration and tried to pull Die back. Shinya managed to calm Kaoru down while Kyo pouted in disappointment. The thought of seeing both guitarists fighting was so interesting! Die pushed Toshiya’s arms away and Kaoru was about to do the same but Shinya’s glare made him gulp and sat down quietly.

Everyone finally sat on their seats quietly. Suddenly the door burst opened. Realising who it was, Kyo smiled sweetly. Shinya tried to look as innocent as possible. Kaoru turned away while Toshiya bit his lip nervously. Die rolled his eyes.

"What is going on?" Yoshiki glared at the boys. He walked around them studying the situation. "I could hear the curses even from my office with doors shut!" he scolded them. Shinya pouted, Kyo sulked. Yoshiki fumed. Those two were his weak points. Kyo was his lover and Shinya was his favourite. He adjusted his glasses, It’s not the time to think about that…

"Okay…tell me what happen?" he asked to no one in particular but he did expect an answer. Kyo opened his mouth but Shinya looked at him. So the singer smiled and let the younger man had it., "Ano…Toshiya had been dreaming, nightmares! About spiders!" he stopped. Yoshiki threw a look at Toshiya. The bassist blushed.

"Spiders…" the producer looked around. Kaoru looked mad, Die looked upset while Shinya smiled and Kyo shrugged.

"Not just spiders…but Kaoru was in the dreams too!" Shinya exclaimed. This time he stopped so Kaoru could get his words. The pink head looked startled. He lifted his head up and met Toshiya’s eyes. The younger man merely blushed deeper. Seeing that, Kaoru began to blush too.

Now he had something in his mind…maybe it was why Die got so mad at Toshiya!

Die turned away.

"So…what are you guys fighting about?! It’s just Kaoru appearing in Toshiya’s dreams" Yoshiki hid a smile. Shinya shrugged, "Well…Kaoru didn’t just appeared in the dreams then said hi and bye" the drummer stopped again. This time he glanced at Die. The red head felt like killing him but he couldn’t because he was Shinya…

Yoshiki nodded, "Okay…I get it…" he looked thoughtful.

Kyo yawned, "So the situation is here is that…Kaoru’s mad at Toshiya because Toshiya yelled at him. Die was jealous because of what they did in the dream…"

"On his bed…Toshiya dreamt of another guy while he was in Die’s arms…" Shinya added quickly. Die clenched his fist. Kyo bit his lip, "And Shinya here teasing Die as much as he could…" Yoshiki shook his head as Die got up wanting to do something to the drummer.

Shinya gasped and looked at Yoshiki with big innocent eyes. The older man wanted to say something, like scolding Shinya. But seeing Shinya so frail and innocent…he felt his heart melt. Realising what was going on, Kyo pouted and kicked Yoshiki’s leg. He gave Shinya the ‘he-is-mine’ look.

The producer threw Die a look and the red head could only sat down. Shinya smiled winningly and stuck his tongue out at Die.

Kyo smiled sweetly, "And I have nothing to do with them!"

Kaoru stared at Toshiya. He couldn’t believe it! So that was what happened? They…they did it? Did they have sex in Toshiya’s dreams? No wonder Die looked so mad! No wonder he was so angry with Toshiya! He couldn’t blame Die coz he would do the same…if that happened to him.

But how come he said he hated me so easily? So Toshiya thought the dream was so disgusting eh? And I’m such a horrible creature?! He hates me!

Die cleared his throat, "Are we having practice today?" he asked.

Yoshiki sighed and looked at Kyo, "Iie…you can go back now…practice’s over"

Kyo grinned.

*

Shinya rolled his eyes around the living room. It looked quite neat, better than before. Toshiya went out the kitchen with two glasses of ocha. The drummer nodded and took it.

"What do you want me to do?" Toshiya asked.

"I want you to sleep here tonight…not with Die!" Shinya replied lightly. The bassist shook his head, "Iie! First of all, I’m not sleeping tonight and second of all, Die will get it wrong!"

"Toshiya-kun! Do you actually love Die?" Shinya asked him the question he never thought about. But he knew the answer.

"No"

"Then? What do you mean by ‘Die will get it wrong’? You can just explain that it’s not the right time for you guys to be together! And you need time and space…moving in with him isn’t really a good idea for you…" Shinya panted slightly finishing the sentence. Toshiya looked at him confusedly.

"You think I should?" (Heh…now it’s Shinya telling Toshiya to break up with Die! Oh my, I did it unconsciously *_*-L7)

Shinya sighed, "Well…not really…but maybe he thinks the same…"

Toshiya suddenly held Shinya’s hands, "Shinya, you don’t know how much I’ve hurt him! He’s so nice to me! So kind and supportive! And one time, I refused when he wanted to be…" Toshiya blushed, "Romantic…" Shinya arched an eyebrow.

"I mean, what I feel about Die is so casual! Like he’s a friend not a lover! I only sleep with him almost every night…" Toshiya blushed deeper as he finished the sentence softly. "And he was so mad when I told him! He said he was upset realising he wasn’t the one for me…"

Shinya shook his head, "Maybe he was shock! I don’t think Die has a deep feeling for you…"

"He doesn’t!" Toshiya exclaimed. He held Shinya’s hands tighter. "I know Die…maybe he was just upset about his ego…I’m kind of his ‘girlfriend’ after all…and Kaoru is his good friend" Shinya noticed the awkwardness of Toshiya’s voice so he studied the older man’s face. There was something weird when Toshiya mentioned his name. Kaoru.

Shinya wanted to ask about Kaoru…but not now. The phone rang and Toshiya picked it up.

"Moshi-moshi…hai, Kyo-kun…nani?" Toshiya pouted and hang up. "Kyo’s not coming home tonight…and I’m not gonna sleep alone!" Shinya smiled sadly but suddenly the bassist’s eyes brightened up. Shinya knew what would happen next…

"Shinya-kun…stay with me…onegai shimasu…" Toshiya stared at him with hope and tears in his eyes. The bassist sniffed a little. Shinya sweatdrop. Toshiya sniffed again and began to sob. Shinya fumed.

"Okay…okay! I will!" he spoke unwillingly. Toshiya smiled cheerfully and went to his room; "You’re sleeping with me tonight!" Shinya covered his face.

*

"Moshi-moshi…" Die answered the phone grumpily. He gulped hearing Toshiya’s voice from the other side.

"Die-kun…I…I can’t go there tonight…" Toshiya sounded scared and upset. Die smiled, "I know…how are you?" he walked towards the balcony. Toshiya sighed thinking that this man was so…nice!

"I’m fine…listen!" his tone changed, "I’m so sorry…okay? You’re so nice to me…and I’m so bad…I can’t be with you…right now…" Toshiya sobbed.

"Shhh…don’t cry! I understand!" Die lit a cig. He waited until Toshiya calmed down then continued, "I’m sorry yelling at you…being such a jerk just now…I was just jealous and upset. You know…what Shinya said was true…maybe it’s my big ego" he laughed. Toshiya smiled bitterly.

"Gomen ne…" he whispered.

Die shook his head, "No! It’s not your fault! I know you don’t want those nightmares…" Die’s voice disappeared. Toshiya bit his lip. He could imagine what was Die doing.

"Maybe I’m just not the one for you…" he whispered. Toshiya knew Die was in his balcony staring at the beautiful twilight scenery. Toshiya could imagine Die’s hair swept by the wind…and the red head would face the sunset with a sad expression. Why was he so mushy anyway? Toshiya smiled.

"I guess the moving in plan should be canceled then" Die added.

Toshiya froze.

"Hai…" he managed to find his voice.

"I hope you sleep well…and remember that you’re always welcome here…"

Toshiya could only burst out crying.

*

(I feel so sad too…I wanna cry…just don’t know why…L -L7)

*

"So how’s it?" Shinya asked. Toshiya merely nodded, "Fine…but he sounded so sad…I feel so bad"

Shinya smiled and patted his shoulder. He still needed to find out what actually happened in the dream.

"When did you start having those dreams?" he asked again. Toshiya merely shook his head, "Don’t know…just appeared at night. I think the first time was when I woke up and found myself on the bed panting! It was such a horrible dream! I can still remember it! Kaoru called me ‘Totchi my love’…" he glanced at Shinya.

"When was the second time?"

"Er…I think in the rest area…I was on the couch sleeping…" Toshiya blushed. Noticing that, Shinya looked at him suspiciously, "Why? What happened? What was the dream about?" Toshiya pouted, "Shinya! Are you here to help or to tease?!"

Shinya shrugged, "Well…to help but I can’t help teasing too…and you have to tell me or else I can’t help!"

"Okay…Kaoru gave me…" he motioned with his hands stucking his tongue to one side of his mouth (Do u get it? -L7) Shinya bit his lip but he couldn’t help grinning. Toshiya blushed even more. "It was so scary when I held my hands near my face they were full of spider webs! Wet and warm…and when I looked down…" the bassist made a face. Shinya widened his eyes,

"Don’t share too much information…" he mumbled trying not to imagine.

"I hope I don’t dream anymore…" he wished. Shinya nodded and leaned on the couch. He looked sleepy.

"Do you want to sleep?" Shinya nodded, "Okay…sleep with me…" Shinya nodded again. It was Toshiya anyway…he would be scared if Toshiya didn’t need his help. He could see Toshiya would attack him at night…ahhh…

But being with Die would be really scary! At least Toshiya looks a bit effeminate…but Die…

Shinya gulped and glanced at Toshiya. The drummer stared at him for a while. He wondered what sort of nights he had with the red head. Probably rough ones! Maybe that was why Toshiya dreamt of Kaoru…Kaoru looked a bit gentle and smooth…Die was just…

Too manly…

"Shinya…why are you blushing?" Toshiya arched an eyebrow. Shinya turned away hiding his face from the older man. Toshiya giggled, "Are you scared at me? Don’t worry…I won’t seduce you ne" he laughed.

*

Toshiya opened his eyes and was greeted by the ceiling. He looked around and saw the window and the curtains. The sun was trying to peep between them. He looked down and saw his body. He turned his head and saw nobody. Wasn’t he supposed to be with Shinya? Was it a dream? Was he dreaming? He looked around suspiciously.

Maybe this is a dream

Suddenly he heard some noise from the bathroom. The door opened and Shinya walked out. He gasped seeing Toshiya staring at him weirdly.

"Hey…you’re awake! Any dream?" the drummer asked brushing his hair. Toshiya widened his eyes. Shinya shrieked as the bassist jumped on him.

"Oh my God!!! No dream! I didn’t dream anything!!!" he screamed in delight. Toshiya swung him around for a while. Shinya remembered Die did that once in public, their concert. The next minute Toshiya was dancing everywhere. Shinya smiled and shook his head slowly. So what he had in mind was working! Now he knew why Toshiya had those dreams!

But I might be wrong!

*

"Good…morning everyone…" Toshiya exclaimed as loud as he could. There were only Kyo and Yoshiki in the rehearsal room. The bassist blushed realising he had just interrupted ‘something’. Thank God Shinya didn’t see anything. The drummer banged his head on Toshiya’s shoulder.

"Itai Toshiya-kun! Don’t stop in sudden! What’s going on?!" he peered from Toshiya’s shoulder and saw Yoshiki sitting beside Kyo with legs crossed, looking really charming and modest. Shinya smiled and blushed a little.

"Ohayoo Yoshiki-san…" he greeted the older man cheerfully. Yoshiki nodded and gave him the really charming smile of his. Toshiya heard Shinya sighed (swoon) and shook his head. Kyo glared at his lover who only grinned.

"So Toshiya-kun…any dream last night?" Yoshiki grinned wider. Toshiya knew what he was up to, "No! I slept so well last night!" he wrapped an arm around Shinya, "Thanks to Shin-chan…he slept with me last night!" he stated happily. Kyo choked.

"Nani?! Shin-chan…you and Toshiya…" the singer looked at Shinya in disbelief. The drummer blushed, "Iie!!! It’s not what you think it is!!!" Kyo sneered. Toshiya held back laughter as Kyo teased the younger man even more. Shinya glared at him and tried to explain. Suddenly the bassist had the urge to smoke, so he went to the back area.

Toshiya took out his lighter and walked lightly towards the –

Somebody was already there…

Die turned his head behind as footsteps could be heard. The red head looked surprise realising who it was. Toshiya’s heart fluttered seeing Die standing there, alone. The guitarist nodded to him, "Morning…" he greeted with a smile. Toshiya blushed a little, "Ohayoo…" he replied softly.

Toshiya leaned on the railing standing beside Die. The red head didn’t say anything merely smoking his cig. Toshiya felt nervous, maybe he should leave now…but…

"How are you?" Die suddenly asked. Toshiya looked startled, "Ah…fine…" he spoke nervously.

"Did you…dream?" Die asked again. The younger man turned to him and found Die’s cheek turned crimson. He smiled and turned away,

"Iie…I’m so glad…" he smiled gladly and glanced at Die. The red head was staring at him with a smile on his face. Toshiya felt himself blushed deeply. His face felt like burning but couldn’t help staring back at Die. Was the feeling back again? The young man didn’t know…Toshiya only knew Die’s face was closer…and closer… and he too brought his face nearer to the older man’s.

Then they kissed.

Toshiya’s eyes fluttered open catching for air. Die, panting lightly, bit his wet lips and stared into Toshiya’s eyes. The younger man blushed and turned away,

"I-I…I think we should go…they’re probably waiting for us!" Toshiya spoke uneasily. Die smiled and nodded to him, "Let’s go then…"

*

"Meeting today is about this band’s label…the companies suggest you guys should change it!" Yoshiki sat on his chair staring at Kaoru. The guitarist nodded, "Hai…we knew about that…but we’re still confused!" Die nodded in agreement. While Kaoru, Die and Yoshiki exchanged comments, Shinya ‘played’ with Kyo, who sat beside him. The drummer giggled softly while Kyo tried to tickle him. Toshiya held his chin, making castle in the air.

"Aa! Where’s the document?" Yoshiki looked around the table but couldn’t find what he was looking for. Kaoru sighed and told the older man they didn’t really need it but the producer insisted. So the pink head followed him to his office, leaving the rest of the member in the meeting room.

Die sat opposite Toshiya who was suddenly backed to reality. He smiled to the red head and the red head smiled back. Shinya wriggled out of Kyo’s reach as the singer attempted to touch him. Giggles escaped from those sexily parted lips (Sorry, can’t help doing that- J L7).

Meanwhile Toshiya stretched his long slender legs comfortably. Suddenly he felt kicking something. Die winced. Toshiya got up and apologized. Die pouted and kicked him back.

Toshiya gasped in surprise. He protested and kicked Die again. The red head glared at him and suddenly took of his shoes. Toshiya, pouting, did the same and both of them ended up kicking each other. They did that before and since Die won last time Toshiya attempted to win. The other side of the table were Kyo and Shinya ‘playing’ their own game.

The door swung opened and Kaoru entered with Yoshiki behind him. They were talking so seriously didn’t even realized what was going on. Shinya giggled as Kyo rubbed his own chest. The small man was trying to turn Shinya on but knowing Shinya…he would probably fail. As for Die and Toshiya, the game had gone further than just kicking each other’s legs.

Toshiya teasingly bit his lower lip and brushed Die’s leg. The red head smirked and moved his sole brushing Toshiya’s thigh. The bassist tried not to moan aloud and got Die back by doing the same thing. Except that Toshiya did it near Die’s inner thigh and almost touching the area that was already familiar to him. The older man gasped surprised by this. Since no one noticed the game went on even further.

Yoshiki asked Kyo few questions and the singer pouted answering them. Shinya sighed and turned his head around. His eyes grew wider seeing what Toshiya was doing. The bassist brought his index finger to his mouth and sucked it teasingly. Shinya blushed staring at the sexy bassist. What was he doing?! He wanted to scream but decided not to. Then he realized Toshiya wasn’t doing that without any purpose as he heard Die sighed desperately. The red head began to lick his lip. Little did Shinya know Die was doing some action under the table.

Toshiya giggled softly as Die’s sole went up just under his belly button and slit under his shirt. It went around roaming the smooth skin of the stomach. It tickled so much that Toshiya felt being pleasured. Shinya blushed deeper seeing them doing things…how could they?! In the meeting room…right in front of Yoshiki…

Die bit his lip trying not to smile/ gasp/ moan as Toshiya rubbed his sole against the area between his inner thighs. But he could control himself. Toshiya, in contrary couldn’t so he purred as Die did the same, touching him there.

Kaoru turned and rolled his eyes realising what was going on. It wasn’t the first time and usually he would feel nothing except shaking his head. But this time…he felt like being hurt! He felt sick and disgusted! Somehow Shinya saw Kaoru’s expression. The drummer turned away resting his head on the table. It was getting worse!

Stupid Toshiya-kun! You’re not supposed to do that! Now the whole thing screws up!

"So Die…what do you think of this?" Yoshiki suddenly asked. Die didn’t hear it at first but when he did, "Oh! Er...we should just change the label…you know…" he cleared his throat. Toshiya moved his leg and giggled . Yoshiki sweatdrop. Kyo grinned and went back to Shinya.

"Okay…this is the deal, better read it first!" Kaoru exclaimed. He gave each of the members a piece of paper. Toshiya tried to smile to Kaoru when the pink head handed him his but suddenly…he noticed something.

Kaoru’s arm…wet…sticky…and…

Toshiya jerked his head up and saw Kaoru’s body…wrapped with wet and warm looking spider webs! It looked like one of those scenes from horror movies he liked to watch…but this was real!!! And Kaoru’s eyes grew wider as if to scare him! Toshiya bit his lip nervously and turned away. If he screamed this time…maybe Kaoru would hate him even more! But…but…

Kaoru looked at him suspiciously. What did Toshiya actually dream about? Why did he stare at me disgustingly? Was it really horrible?

Do I really disgust him?

Toshiya jerked his head up and saw Kaoru’s hurt expression but he couldn’t do anything!

Kaoru…why? Is this a dream? Am I dreaming…or maybe it’s getting worse! There’s no way Kaoru will let himself covered by spider webs! So this is a dream?

Toshiya looked around the room. Shinya, Kyo, Die and Yoshiki…they all looked normal…but how could Kaoru be the only one who looked so horrible?! Wrapped by Spider webs so wet and warm…

Am I hallucinating? Like the last time I saw a spider crawling on Kaoru’s arm?

Toshiya panted couldn’t take it anymore. He squeezed his eyes shut and storm out the room. Everyone gasped in surprise, especially Kaoru and Die. The pink head swallowed the bitter taste in his mouth while Die looked confused.

Shinya sighed, got up and ran away looking for Toshiya.

*

Shinya fumed seeing Toshiya smoking. He finally found him in the receptionist. Mihoko (Sorry, always put her in-L7) was sitting beside the bassist looking at him concernedly. She pouted realising Shinya was there too. The woman wanted Toshiya for herself, as always. Yeah, she wished.

"Shinya-kun…Toshiya-san worries me…what’s going on?" she asked politely. Shinya shook his head and asked her to go away politely. The woman said she understood and walked off but swore deep inside.

Shinya sat on the low couch staring at the older man. He looked pretty tired.

"I saw it…" Toshiya mumbled.

"Saw what?"

"Spider webs! It’s so disgusting! Kaoru’s body was actually wrapped with them! Wet and warm…so sick! Such a nice body and good-looking face but …" he stopped. Shinya smiled, "Nice body? How do you know?" he teased.

"Shut up Shinya!" he turned away nervously. Shinya suddenly reached out for the cig and threw it to the ashtray. Toshiya gasped. "Give it back to me! That’s the last one!"

"Thank God!" Shinya snapped.

Toshiya blushed. "What do you want?"

Shinya looked at him weirdly, "I want you to sleep with Die…tonight!" Toshiya looked stunned, then he choked.

"Nani?!"

Shinya shrugged.

"Why?! you mean… like…sleep with him…like…" Toshiya stuttered. Shinya nodded impatiently. "Hai…hai…but it’s okay if you guys don’t do it! Just be with him!"

Toshiya looked at him in disbelief, "Shinya! You’re so mean! And heartless! How can you tell me to be with Die if you already know what’s going on?!"

"Mean…? Me?" Shinya chuckled. "I –am- mean…but this is for you!"

Toshiya looked upset. He didn’t want to hurt Die anymore…being with that guy again meant giving them another chance.

"Come on Toshiya…I know you can do it easily! I mean…what did you guys do just now?" Shinya asked raising an eyebrow. Toshiya pouted,

"That was different! We’re just playing! But being with Die at night, alone with him…it’s hard not to do something…" Toshiya motioned with his hands. Shinya nodded, "Uh-huh…okay…whatever! It’s that charm isn’t it?" Toshiya nodded.

"I don’t get it! Why do you like him? Why do you lust for him? Die’s just Die…the mean crude guy who teases me as many times as he wants to! I can’t see why he has the ‘attraction’ to get you into his arms?!" Shinya protested.

Toshiya laughed, "Oho! You don’t know Shin-chan…not just me…once you know the real him it’ll be hard to let go…" he looked at the younger man, "He’s not just the guy you can lust for…he’s also a friend who’s so nice and kind…and protective!" Shinya made a face.

"It’s true! No body wants to hurt him, Shinya! I don’t want hurt him! And I’m sure Kaoru feels the same!" Toshiya tried to explain. Shinya narrowed his eyes, "I –hate- him!"

Toshiya could only smile, "Shinya-kun…Die never hates you…" the drummer blushed, "And I’m sure you don’t hate him deep down there…you just feel unfair because he only teases you…not anyone else"

Shinya turned away.

‘I’ll do what you want me as long as you help me out of this weird situation…" Toshiya held his hands, "But promise me Shinya…you should get to know Die better!" the drummer lifted his eyes up and looked at Toshiya. Then he nodded shyly.

*

"So Kyo’s not here…" Die looked around nervously. Toshiya locked the door nodding.

"Gomen ne…I need a friend to accompany me…I’m scared sleeping alone these days…" He laughed shyly. Die nodded and smiled to him.

A friend…

"So…where do I sleep?" he tried. Toshiya’s eyes grew big. Die laughed, "I’ll just sleep on the couch" he sat on the low couch. Toshiya looked around nervously.

"Ano…you can sleep in my room…but…" he fell silent. Die got up and chuckled, "Okay…I understand…we’re friends remember? we have to help each other!" the red head touched his crimson cheek. Toshiya nodded shyly.

"So what do we do now? Do we go out…and drink?" Die asked a little bit eagerly. Toshiya shook his head, "Too lazy ne…" he stretched and looked around. Die pouted, "Hn…how if we go out and rent some videos?" Toshiya arched an eyebrow at him.

"Spooky movies!" Die waved his fingers in front of Toshiya. The bassist laughed and pushed him away, "No! I don’t think I wanna see those things…" but he took his jacket and put it on, "Let’s just go out and eat!" Die nodded and walked toward the door.

*

"Goodness! Did you see that fish? So big!" Die laughed in disbelief as he entered the apartment. Toshiya giggled, "How about that lobster?!" he asked back. The older man frowned, "I can’t believe people actually eat them…huge! And alive!" he motioned with his hands. The bassist laughed, "They like it…"

There was a long pause. Toshiya sat on the couch turning the TV on. Die took a cushion throwing it to the younger man. Toshiya pouted and threw it back to him. The red head laughed and took two cushions hitting Toshiya with them. Toshiya yelped but after few times getting hit, he managed to get up.

"So…childish!" he yelled. Die stuck his tongue out, "You taught me that…you won last time anyway…" he continued attacking Toshiya. The bassist giggled; starting to kick Die. He gasped and stopped as his leg landed on Die’s stomach.

"Are you okay?" he got up looking really worried. Die nodded, "Muscles ne…" he patted his stomach. Toshiya smiled, "Hah…where?" he asked teasingly. His hand reached out unconsciously touching Die’s stomach. It was flat and felt strong. Die smiled proudly, "Kakoii ne…" he exclaimed.

Toshiya smirked moving his hands upwards touching Die’s chest. The red head yelped, "No!!! not there!" the next moment Die’s laughter and screams filled the living room. Toshiya giggled and sat on Die’s stomach, "Yes! It’s so much fun!" he tickled Die even more. The older man gasped, bit his lip then in a swift moment he grabbed Toshiya’s hands.

"-This- is fun!" he hissed. Toshiya screamed as Die sat up causing him to fall backwards on the couch. The guitarist leaned on him, pretending to strangle Toshiya.

"Admit defeat?!" he yelled teasingly. Toshiya pouted shaking his head, "Iie! I have my secret weapon!" suddenly he blushed. Seeing his crimson cheeks, Die stopped. Everything suddenly turned blue. Die got up and sat quietly on the couch. Toshiya himself sat up, holding his chest.

The air felt cold. The only thing could be heard was Die’s breath and Toshiya’s heart beat (he thought)

Suddenly Die held his forehead, massaging his temple gently.

"No commitment…" he stated. Toshiya turned to him.

"Hai…"

"No pressure…" he continued. Toshiya nodded rubbing his arms for no reason.

"No pressure…" the bassist repeated him. Die gazed at him. The younger man smiled slightly, I’m going to kill Shinya…

"Just for pleasure…" Die suddenly added. Hearing that, Toshiya smiled wider.

"No hassle…" he replied, staring at Die for a while. Then he got up and walked slowly towards his room. Die eyed him, following his back until he could see no more. The guitarist sighed. He turned away then looked back at the door. It was half opened. Die knew the sign, he knew what to do. But was it the right thing?

Deciding that the young man shouldn’t wait for him too long…Die walked casually towards the door, opened it, then slowly closed it quietly.

*

Toshiya woke up opening his eyes. He blinked few times then turned around. Die was sleeping peacefully next to him. Naked, looking really cute and adorable under the blanket. The bassist got up carefully scared to wake him up. He looked around, his room. He glanced at the window, morning. Toshiya’s eyes flapped open.

He had no dream!!!

Toshiya wanted to wake Die up but the older man was sleeping so well so peacefully…he had no heart! So Toshiya slowly got off the bed, walking slowly, nakedly towards the bathroom. The door closed softly and few minutes later the sound of water running could be heard.

*

Toshiya jerked his head up letting the water swept his face. The coldness of that morning had slowly disappeared, replaced by the warmth of the shower. He sighed feeling really relax. Toshiya moaned comfortably rubbing his chest slowly (Not hentai mind-L7). Now he felt really warm.

His eyes opened as naked arms slid wrapping his waist tightly.

Toshiya moaned as an arm caressed his stomach and moved upwards feeling his chest. He felt a pair of lips kissing him lightly, then a moist tongue licked his neck. The other hand moved downwards brushing his sex. Toshiya bit his lip. It felt so good…he had always liked the morning after. So relaxing…felt so nice…

The bassist moved his arms reaching out for Die. A smile sketched on his lips as the other man nibbled on his neck. His own hands played with the red head brushing the wet hair lightly. Suddenly he opened his eyes. His lips parted in surprise realising something…

How come…

The man tightened his hug kissing him lovingly. Toshiya joined his eyebrows, he could hear his breath grew louder, panting. Die tightened his hug even more, pulling Toshiya closed to his chest. His right hand touching, caressing Toshiya’s length and the other hand rubbing the younger man’s chest.

Toshiya’s hands stopped, trapped in the older man’s wet hair. Toshiya whimpered. He was awake…he was so sure about that! But…but…he felt fear crept into him as Die moved his right hand up and down slowly. The bassist shut his eyes tightly then opened them again. He was still there!

Toshiya felt he should do something! So he decided to move his hands down further touching Die’s hair. It went down further till Die’s back.

But…

Die didn’t have long hair!

Who had long hair then?

Toshiya panted loudly, heart beating madly against his chest. He slowly moved, pulling himself away fro the other man. Tears filled the rims of his eyes threatening to fall. He turned his head slowly, nervously…

"Totchi…" came a whisper. Toshiya shook his head slowly, bit down to his lip trying not to scream in fear.

"No…no…" he whispered hysterically.

Kaoru smiled narrowing his eyes seductively. He moved his hand reaching out for Toshiya. The bassist shivered as Kaoru’s small fingers touched his cheek brushing it slowly. He felt tears rolling down his already wet cheek. The bassist stood right under the shower sobbing fearfully.

Kaoru moved his body forward slowly pressing his body against Toshiya’s trembled one. He shut his eyes not wanting to see…

"Totchi…" came another whisper and Toshiya gasped as Kaoru kissed his cheek, then his lips lightly. He felt something moist and warm parted his lips opened and went in roaming his mouth. Toshiya frowned but he responded. Kaoru forced him to! He leaned back on the wall, gasping in pain as the coldness of the tile greeted him. But Kaoru was warm…really warm!

"I’ll make you mine…" suddenly Kaoru’s hands cupped his face and he instinctively snapped his eyes open. He saw Kaoru’s eyes grew darker…then he was attacked by another kiss. Though drown into the deep kiss, he felt his legs being parted. He wanted to stop the kiss…but he couldn’t! somehow the other man was so strong!

Toshiya screamed as something penetrated him. It was so painful! No warning…no preparation…Toshiya shut his eyes bending down.

"Toshiya?!!" a voice called out his name. A loud voice…a confused tone…

The shower curtain was pulled open.

Toshiya opened his eyes. He was standing under the shower, standing frozen there. He lifted his eyes up and found Die staring at him confusedly. He was panting, and crying…sobbing uncontrollably. Toshiya moved his hands up touching his chest hugging himself. He rolled his eyes around.

"Toshiya? Are you okay?" Die stepped in and touched his cheek. The bassist jumped at the sudden touch. But soon he realized it felt different…so different…Toshiya shook his head holding it.

"Toshiya…" Die held his arms and looked at him suspiciously, "What’s wrong?" he asked. But there was no reply. Toshiya only sobbed…

Die bit his lip pulling Toshiya closer, "Shhh…it’s okay…what happened?" he hugged the younger man and brushed his long flowing wet hair gently. The guitarist sighed. He really wanted to know what happened but…Toshiya would never tell him! Was it the dream? But he wasn’t dreaming! Toshiya was awake!!!

Toshiya looked around fearfully in Die’s arms. He panted, sobbing softly. Hugging Die back tightly, Toshiya looked thoughtful.

*

"Hm…nice…" Kyo half closed his eyes sexily. He stared at Shinya who was sucking his finger. The drummer did a good job and Kyo felt himself growing in need. He wanted pleasure…soon! Suddenly his eyes grew bigger and Kyo’s scream filled the room as he felt himself being bitten!

Shinya giggled evilly seeing Kyo pouting cutely. It didn’t hurt that much…even if it did, Kyo wouldn’t really mind, would he?

"Shinya…you nut!!!" Kyo hissed rubbing his middle finger.

The drummer stuck his tongue out, "You said it yourself, I’m from planet Grey…" Kyo suddenly jumped forward, "Then I’ll make you human!!!" Shinya shrieked.

"What on earth are you guys doing?!" came a voice sounded angry and jealous. Kyo turned his head around. Shinya whimpered.

"Yoshiki-san…help…" Shinya cried out weakly. The producer took his glasses off then glared at Kyo. The singer pouted then greeted his teeth at Shinya. The younger man whimpered again looking up at Yoshiki, looking for protection. The producer could only shook his head. He could control everyone, he thought he had the ability to control almost everyone…except these two!

He looked at Kyo, his lover.

He looked at Shinya, the lovely one.

"Why are you guys behaving like this?!" he tried to scold them. Kyo who was supposed to be fighting for himself looked at Shinya. Yoshiki massaged his temple as both younger men whined together moaning about ‘Yoshiki’s cruelness’

"So mean…" Shinya wiped his dry eyes.

"So heartless…" Kyo added pouting exaggeratedly.

Yoshiki shook his head, "Just what was happening?" Suddenly Kyo’s face turned evil. He grabbed the older man’s arm, "Shinya bit me…" he spoke softly. The younger drummer glared at the way Kyo moved close to Yoshiki. Then he bit his lip, his eyes wet.

"Kyo-kun used me…he wanted pleasure…" he sobbed.

Yoshiki, hearing this, looked at Kyo. Heck he trusted Shinya! Anything to do with Kyo’s pleasure was his business!

"Kyo…" Yoshiki began. The vocalist glared at Shinya who looked satisfied. The drummer pouted winningly. Kyo tried to defend himself,

"No…he bit me!"

"Iie! He told me to give him pleasure…"Shinya’s whiny voice went as a background together with Kyo’s explanation. But to Yoshiki Shinya’s short statement was the only thing he could hear. Grumpily, he dragged Kyo out of the room. Shinya whined seeing Yoshiki’s retreating back. Kyo, despite his yelps and screams, felt his heart beating madly in him. What was Yoshiki gonna do? But then he thought he shouldn’t be worrying that much! Yoshiki was his lover anyway…

If he tortures me I’ll torture him back!

*

Shinya hugged his knees sitting on the couch mournfully. Kyo had left…teddy bear had gone! Now he was alone…as usual! Shinya only had Kyo to play with him.

But how come Yoshiki-san looks so close with him?! And where is he dragging Kyo to?

"Hey Shin-chan…" the drummer turned to where the voice came from. Kaoru smiled tiredly at him, "You look upset!" he threw himself beside Shinya.

"Where’s your teddy bear?" the older man looked around the room. Shinya whined, "Gone with Yoshiki-san…" Kaoru nodded, "Stolen eh?" Shinya looked at Kaoru weirdly who suddenly realized that Shinya knew nothing about them!

"What do you mean?" he asked confusedly. Kaoru shook his head, "Nothing…nothing…" he sighed and shut his eyes. When he opened them, Kaoru had a grin on his face.

"Ne Shin-chan… you’re alone…I’m alone…" Kaoru moved closer to him while Shinya looked at him suspiciously. Kaoru reached his hand brushing the younger man’s thigh. Shinya’s eyes grew big staring at the small fingers stroking his thigh. He could feel it underneath the cloth.

"Could it be…you and me?" he whispered huskily near Shinya’s ear. The drummer fumed pushing him away.

"Go away! You stink cigarette!" Shinya pushed him back further. Kaoru laughed seeing that reaction.

"Is that all Shin-chan? Aw…I’ll brush my teeth everyday before showering you with kisses ne…" Kaoru teased looking at him seductively. Shinya glared at him, "Not just that! You’re the bad after Die!" he hissed.

"What did you say?" Kaoru asked not catching the last sentence. Shinya bit his lip turning away, "Nothing!" the guitarist shrugged and leaned back on the couch. They fell silent for a while before Kaoru mumbled telling Shinya how tired he was these days. Like nothing he did was right…he was so depressed!

Shinya suddenly smirked, ignoring the depressing time Kaoru was going through "Are you talking to Toshiya-kun?"

Kaoru blushed a little, "Iie!"

"Nani? Why?" Shinya faked a gasp. There was no reply. Kaoru didn’t want to answer a question Shinya purposely asked to upset him.

"Don’t worry Kaoru-kun…I know you have a chance" he grinned. The guitarist looked interested. He moved forward staring at Shinya’s face.

"Really? He told you?"

"No…but I just know!" Shinya smiled as Kaoru turned away, "I’m Shinya! I know that!" he tried to convince the older man. Shinya knew Toshiya didn’t just dream about Kaoru with no reason at all! Maybe Die was fading away but did the dreams had to be about Kaoru?!

"You have a chance…" Shinya moved his hand touching Kaoru’s chest gently, "I know you know that deep down inside…" Kaoru looked at him, smiling. Then he shook his head.

"No…Die is my friend"

Shinya sighed hearing that statement which was way too familiar to his ears. Was Die really a good friend? A good guy? He was so mean to the drummer!

"What’s this man? Toshiya-kun said the same thing! ‘Die is my good friend’, he’s not even a good guy!" Shinya exclaimed. He looked at Kaoru in surprise. Kaoru laughed slowly, "Shinya…you’re wrong…" the drummer pouted.

"He’s really nice…he’s really protective to his friends!" Kaoru tried.

"But he’s so mean! And I think you should just grab the chance as soon as possible!" Shinya quickly added. The older man merely shook his head,

"You really hate him so much?"

Shinya nodded.

"I know it’s not fair he teases you and I know you try to fight back every time you have the chance to…but Die isn’t that bad!" Kaoru moved closer to the young man, "And what you had said last time was really mean! We all know Die has that ‘pride’ or ‘ego’ and I have that too! We all do, Shinya! But that’s just really mean…" Kaoru touched his shoulder pressing it.

Shinya looked away.

"He must be really upset!"

Shinya fell silent feeling guilt crept into his heart.

"Die never hates you! He only wonders why you act really extreme! Honestly, we all wonder too!"

Shinya turned to him, pouting.

"Why do you have to be on his side? You like Toshiya right?" he asked confusedly. The older man sighed, "Shinya! If you’re me, you would have done the same thing! I don’t care if I have a chance or not, but…Toshiya kind of belongs to Die!"

"No…no…Toshiya broke up with him!" Shinya reasoned.

"He did?"

"That’s why I said you had a chance because the reason why Toshiya-" Shinya began loudly. But suddenly the door opened and Shinya had to stop.

"Toshiya what?" Die asked glaring at Shinya suspiciously. The younger man pouted and smiled slyly, "Nothing!" he replied lightly. Die glanced at Kaoru who looked away.

Kaoru didn’t talk to Die either because Die didn’t want to talk to him. But Die thought Kaoru was mad at him regarding that day…when Yoshiki scolded them. And remembering that reminded Die of Shinya’s act. The drummer didn’t even get scolded! And this was the pay back time!

"Shin-chan…" Die spoke sweetly placing himself beside the drummer. He wrapped an arm around Shinya’s shoulder. The younger man turned away in anger.

"Wanna try this?" Die took out a cigarette. Shinya made a face then squirmed away. Kaoru smiled slightly seeing that. He enjoyed every show Die and Shinya put up…

"Go away! You stink!!!" Shinya yelled.

"Aw…don’t like me breath? Come closer, let me kiss you…" Die smirked. Kaoru, closing his eyes, covered his ears with his palms as Shinya’s scream filled the whole room.

Die had kissed Shinya…so quick yet the feeling of his lips on Shinya’s cheek lasted for so long. The drummer panted in horror quickly pushed the older man away. The red head himself winced as Shinya’s shriek also ‘banged’ the walls of his ears so he willingly pulled himself away.

"You crazy man! Pervert! You sick wacko!!! I HATE you!!!" Shinya yelled furiously then stomped out the room. Die sighed touching his ears while Kaoru held back laughter. Seeing Kaoru laughed Die smiled then both of them laughed at the scene.

"Stupid…" Kaoru mumbled.

"Hey…I have to get my revenge!" Die reasoned. "But that’s stupid…" he added. Kaoru nodded, "He’s so mean anyway…" he spoke slowly. Die smiled looking at him, "How’re you pal?" he moved closer. Kaoru smiled warmly, "Fine…pal…" he threw his arms around Die’s neck then both guitarists hugged each other for a while.

"We should thank Shinya you know…?" Kaoru said as he pulled back. Die laughed, "Yeah…but not now…let him enjoy the feeling of my lips on his cheek…" Kaoru snorted.

"You’re so mean…"

*

"Hate! HaTe! HATE!!!" Shinya hissed angrily as he entered the bathroom. He faced the mirror and saw his blushing cheeks. He was so…mad! So angry!!! Die had kissed him! That pervert!!! A kiss?!!! He couldn’t believe it!

He bit down his lip hard and quickly turned the tap on brushing the cheek that Die had planted a kiss, roughly. He scrubbed it so many times but still, when he stopped Shinya could still feel it…he could feel those sexy full lips touching his ever so delicate cheek! Shinya whimpered softly and stamped his foot on the tile.

"I HATE!!!" he screamed. He blinked and tears fell down on his cheeks. He stared at his face. His cheek was so red now…but he could still feel-

"I hate Die…I hate!!!" he hissed.

Shinya gasped as one of the cubicles’ door opened. Toshiya came out looking really pale. The drummer narrowed his eyes and brushed his tears away. Toshiya looked more crappy than he did. The older man walked out slowly and stood beside Shinya.

"Are you okay?" Shinya looked at him carefully. He knew the answer was no but…

"Ah…I feel so shit! Do you know what happened?" Toshiya mumbled sadly. The drummer shook his head, "What?"

"Is Kaoru around?" Toshiya asked without answering the question. Shinya pouted, "Hai…in the rehearsal room…" With that baka no Die!!!

"I don’t wanna see him anymore!!!" Toshiya hissed and bit his lip hard. Shinya raised an eyebrow. He was so sure Toshiya came with Die and Toshiya hadn’t seen Kaoru!

"Toshiya…" he reached out for Toshiya’s shoulder, "Sometimes it’s better if you share things with other people!" he suggested. The bassist pouted and embraced Shinya. The younger man’s eyes flapped open. Toshiya began to sob quietly and Shinya tired every way to comfort him, telling him everything would be fine!

"NO…No… things get even worse!!! I hate Kaoru!!! And…I hate myself!!!" Toshiya shook his head. He managed to speak through his sobs. But he didn’t tell Shinya what happened! The drummer looked so worried for the first time ever since he knew the problem Toshiya was having. How could he help?

"Heh…what are you guys doing here? Making a scene?" Yoshiki’s voice suddenly appeared behind Shinya. Both of them gasped then Toshiya wiped his tears away and Shinya tried to hide his red cheek. But Yoshiki noticed them.

"Why are you crying?" he looked at Toshiya weirdly, then glanced at Shinya, "And you…what’s that red cheek?" he reached out for Shinya’s face. The drummer gasped as Yoshiki touched it. It hurt…Toshiya looked a bit confused realising it.

"Shinya…what happened?" Toshiya asked guiltily. He was too sad too blind to notice! The drummer turned away from both of them, blushing. But it was not really obvious under that red spot he already had.

"Nothing…" he whispered and rushed out the bathroom. Toshiya and the older man looked at each other. Then the bassist bowed and walked away too. Yoshiki shrugged and looked around.

"Kyo…where are you?" he asked aloud. Suddenly a noise could be heard and somebody jumped on his back. Yoshiki yelped but soon he realized it was his lover.

"What are you doing?!" the producer hissed in fear. He heard Kyo laughed sheepishly. The smaller man stood up in front of him,

"Well…Nothing actually. But I couldn’t help listening to them! Toshiya had been crying a lot and Shinya rushed in hissing yelling about how much he hated Die!" Kyo smiled wider. "And I know Shinya cried for a like a short second!" Kyo said thoughtfully. The drummer? Cried? Unbelievable!

"Hm…Die must have done something really bad then…Shinya and cries don’t rhyme!" Yoshiki pouted pulling Kyo close to him. The vocalist grinned, "But he deserves that! Shinya behaved really badly last time, remember?" he looked up and saw Yoshiki’s serious face. Then the producer nodded, "Hai…" Kyo’s grin faded away.

‘I like looking at a serious you…" Kyo mumbled staring at him. The younger man thought he saw Yoshiki blushed but maybe he was wrong. The older man bent down kissing him, "Wanna do it here?" he asked huskily.

Kyo shook his head, "It’s sad…doing it here sounds so desperate…"

"But I’m bored with my office!" Yoshiki reasoned. He was too lazy walking back to his office ne…Kyo suddenly pulled himself away form him.

"Well…we can do it on the carpet this time…" he whispered sexily before walking out the bathroom. Yoshiki thought for a while before rushing out like a mad man.

"No!!! Not on that carpet!!!" he yelled at Kyo. The vocalist laughed evilly.

"Kyo! You little devil!!!"

*

Shinya sat down quietly on the couch and stared at Kaoru who was talking to Die. He glowered the red head but the other man didn’t seem to notice. Both guitarists exchanged comments and talked seriously about something. Shinya pouted thinking that Kaoru was such a liar! He had told him he didn’t talk to Die! But now…

Little did Shinya know somebody else thought the same thing. Toshiya looked at Die and Kaoru in disbelief. They talked to each other? He was so happy! But then…

Kaoru…in the shower…

Toshiya couldn’t tell Die about that! He couldn’t believe seeing Kaoru…in his shower?! But when Die called his name…Kaoru had disappeared! How come?! Didn’t he sneak into his apartment? Or maybe Toshiya was hallucinating?

Hallucinating?

Toshiya gulped fearfully. This was getting like a story of a horror movie! He couldn’t be imagining things!!! Hallucinating?! So scary!!! No! he was not getting crazy!

It was a dream…just a dream!

-Meanwhile-

"Hey…Toshiya looks really pale…" Kaoru stole a glance at the bassist who was sitting across the room. Die turned and nodded to him, "He’s been dreaming I guess…" Die smiled sadly turning to the older man, "About you…" Kaoru felt uneasy talking about it. The red head pouted.

"You call yourself a friend?" Kaoru joined his eyebrow hearing that weird question.

"Nani? What do you mean?"

"Ah! Don’t fool me! Since when you started to like him?" Die asked straightforwardly. Kaoru suddenly blushed. He turned away avoiding Die’s suspicious eyes. The red head smirked.

"Who told you that gossip?" he mumbled uneasily. Die faked a glare, "Come on! We all know that!" Kaoru pouted as Die held his chin, "Look at those blushing cheeks! And you want to deny it?!" the younger man asked arching an eyebrow.

"…"

"Kaoru-kun…why didn’t you tell me?" Die suddenly sounded really serious.

"…"

"Come on!" Die pushed.

"Okay! Because he seemed to like you more…and he didn’t refuse when you kissed him… and…" Kaoru was too shy to say more. Die smiled seeing him.

"Kaoru-kun…you’re so kawaii ne…" Die played with his pink hair. Kaoru grumpily pushed his hand away. Die chuckled and looked at Toshiya.

"I think you should talk to him…" he suggested pointing at Toshiya. Kaoru looked at him weirdly, "You guys…broke up?" he asked carefully. Die laughed, "Oh! He dumped me…" he sounded casually. Kaoru couldn’t help laughing seeing Die motioning with his hand as if he wasn’t hurt.

"I don’t know…" he finally replied. Die glanced at him worriedly, "Maybe he likes you too…or else why did he have dreams about you?" the red head asked him the question that only made him blush deeper.

"Ne…" he mumbled shaking his head. Die sighed and stood up. Kaoru looked at him as Die pulled his arm, "Come with me…" the younger man mumbled.

-At the same time-

This is killing me! Why does it happen to me? And why Kaoru?

Toshiya felt somebody sitting beside him. He lifted his eyes up and saw Kaoru smiling at him. Toshiya’s heart fluttered seeing that charming smile.

"Kaoru…" he whispered. The guitarist nodded slowly reaching for his hand. Toshiya gasped as Kaoru pulled his hand and enveloped it with his own. The pink head touched his cheek gently stroking it. Toshiya blushed a little. He thought he fear Kaoru…but now…he felt so happy! Kaoru was not mad at him…and he was not scared at the older man!

The pink head kissed the back of Toshiya’s hand lightly. The bassist blushed deeper realising how tender and loving Kaoru’s eyes were staring at him. Did Kaoru like him?

"Kaoru…" he whispered again. The guitarist suddenly placed a finger on his lips. Toshiya’s eyes grew bigger and his heart beat against his chest hard seeing Kaoru leaning closer to him. Toshiya could only shut his eyes feeling those pouty yet tender lips on his. Toshiya gasped softly as Kaoru nuzzled on his net. He blushed hoping Die or Shinya didn’t notice…

"Totchi…" Kaoru whispered biting his ear then licked his earlobe. Toshiya’s eyes snapped open.

Hold on…

He squeezed his eyes shut then opened them again.

Toshiya was sitting alone…on the couch…ALONE…no Kaoru…ALONE…

The bassist panted in fear. He looked around the room.

Shinya was sitting on the other couch sulking.

Die was talking to Kaoru near the window.

Die was talking to Kaoru near the window.

Die was talking to Kaoru near the window.

Toshiya shook his head slowly, "No…no…this is not happening…no…" he mumbled hysterically, in fear. Deep fear!

Kaoru was here! He was here!!! _Kaoru_was_here_!!!

Toshiya hugged himself fearfully trying to protect himself from the invisible danger. He was hallucinating! But the bassist didn’t want to admit it! He was not getting crazy!!!

"Toshiya…"

Die’s voice. Toshiya looked up and saw Die smiling sympathetically. The bassist whimpered and reached out for Die. The guitarist embraced him but uneasily because he knew Kaoru was looking. Toshiya suddenly sobbed and Die realized he was hugging a trembled body. Toshiya quivered so much!

"Toshiya…what’s wrong?" Die asked worriedly. Really worriedly. He had never seen Toshiya behaving like this! Something must had happened in the shower! Toshiya looked so quiet and scared after that…

"Is he okay?" Die winced as Kaoru stood beside him. Die felt Toshiya’s body tensed up. "Hai…" Die looked up slightly but he bit his lip hard. The red head brushed Toshiya’s hair gently.

"Toshiya…Kaoru wants to talk to you…" he held the bassist’s shoulders and looked at him in the eyes. The younger man looked confused. But he sat down quietly still clutching on Die’s arms.

Kaoru looked hurt.

I thought everyone said I had a chance! But look at him now…grasping Die for protection…am I really bad…really horrible?!!!

"Toshiya…" Kaoru began softly crouching in front of the pretty bassist. Toshiya didn’t dare to lift his eyes up. Die stared at Toshiya; his palm brushing Toshiya’s back gently as if to calm him down.

Hearing Kaoru’s voice so gentle and tender…not sexy and husky like he always heard in dreams and hallucination, Toshiya looked up. He found the guitarist was looking at him caringly, lovingly. Toshiya suddenly felt wanting to throw his arms around Kaoru’s neck and felt Kaoru’s fingers brushed his hair touching his cheeks gently.

Then felt those lips touching his…

"Totchi…" Kaoru whispered.

Toshiya’s eyes grew bigger. He turned around and saw Die looking at him worriedly. He turned back to Kaoru…

"No…" he whispered. Kaoru looked confused.

"Toshiya?"

"No…no…don’t come any closer…" he mumbled. Die gasped in disbelief and Kaoru looked confused.

"I don’t want you…please…leave me alone…please…" Toshiya shook his head hugging himself tighter for protection. Die looked at him worriedly while Kaoru looked hurt! He couldn’t understand why and how the Toshiya he knew had changed so much! Just because of those dreams!!!

Kaoru moved his hands touching Toshiya’s, "Toshiya! Look at me! Let’s stop this! What’s going on?!!! Tell me!" he moved Toshiya’s hands so they were face to face. Die gulped and slowly backed away wanting to leave them alone. The bassist blinked causing tears rolling down his cheeks. Kaoru gasped. Die widened his eyes.

"Totchi?"

"No!!!" Toshiya pushed him as hard as he could. Kaoru fell on the floor, startled.

"Leave me alone!!! I hate you and I-I…I don’t want to see you anymore!!!" Toshiya screamed in horror. When he blinked his eyes…he could see a spider…that huge tarantula crept along Kaoru’s arm…and Kaoru was holding his hands!!! And he didn’t want to see Kaoru…the man he made love with in his dreams…

Toshiya stood up but felt himself being pulled back. He gasped as Kaoru kissed his lips strongly. His eyes finally fell close…and the kiss turned gentle. When Toshiya opened his eyes…

"Totchi…"

Toshiya bit back a cry…he looked down and saw what he had expected!

Kaoru…sitting on the floor…looking at him confusedly. Kaoru didn’t kiss him…he didn’t even pull his arm!!!

Toshiya backed away trembling. Kaoru finally stood up but he didn’t dare to approach Toshiya.

"Don’t haunt me…what did I do? Don’t follow me…please…Kaoru…don’t " Toshiya shook his head violently,

"Don’t scare me…please…"

Toshiya heard somebody calling out his name…sounded like Die, but he couldn’t take it anymore!!! He kept hallucinating! The dreams were scary enough and now…he had delusions!!! How come? What did he do? What was his mistake?

Die winced as the door slammed close. He looked at Kaoru. The pink head laughed bitterly, "At least I’ve tried!" he spoke. Die could see how upset Kaoru was…

Shinya, sitting down quietly looked at both guitarists carefully before walking out the room.

Die moved a hand placed it on Kaoru’s shoulder. "Kaoru-kun…" he tried. The pink head hung his head down. The younger guitarist gulped and embraced him.

"Shhh…it’s okay…we’ll try again…" Die comforted his good friend.

*

Toshiya sobbed quietly resting his head on his knees. He didn’t mean to hurt Kaoru…but he couldn’t help saying those words!

Kaoru…I…I don’t know what to do…

"Toshiya-kun…" came a soft deep voice. Toshiya looked up with tearful eyes. He didn’t even know when Shinya entered the rest room and kneeled in front of him. Shinya looked at him sympathetically. The young man brushed the fringe off Toshiya’s pretty face. The bassist pouted holding back his tears.

"Shinya…I…I don’t know what to do…I feel so mean…I-" he began but stopped as Shinya placed finger on his lips, "Don’t say anymore…I understand…" Shinya replied softly. Toshiya looked startled,

"You do?"

Shinya nodded, "Hai…I know what happened…and I know why…" he smiled warmly to the older man. Hearing this, Toshiya held Shinya’s hands tight, "You do? Why? Why?"

"The whole thing starts the first time you slept with Die…" Shinya began.

Toshiya’s eyes bulged. He joined his eyebrows, "What?"

Knowing Toshiya wouldn’t believe him, Shinya fumed gripping Toshiya’s hands tighter, "You have to believe me!" Toshiya merely nodded.

"There’s always a reason when two people get together!" Shinya spoke convincingly. He got up and sat beside Toshiya.

"What’s your reason being with Die?" Shinya suddenly asked. Toshiya never asked himself that question and he didn’t know the answer. Toshiya thought for a while. Why? Why did he be with Die?

"Pleasure…?" he asked back. Shinya pouted, "Is that a reason?" Toshiya gulped.

"No…but it might! I mean…"

"You don’t love him…he doesn’t love you! Don’t you ever ask yourself if what you’re doing is wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"There’s no feeling in both of you…and you’re friends!!!" Shinya made a face, "How can you have sex with your friend?" he asked straightforwardly. "Don’t you feel awkward?"

Toshiya bit down his lip.

"I do…" he mumbled.

"Then?"

Toshiya turned to the drummer, "But Shinya! There are things that happen between two people in the dark- that sort of make everything else seem- unimportant!"

Shinya stopped.

"When you’re with a man…the man, the person you never expected to make your heart jumped! That’s what I felt for Die! The fact that he’s a friend and when we were together…in the dark…" Toshiya blushed, "It thrills!"

Shinya blushed too, but more deeply than Toshiya.

"And that thrill makes me want more! It bonds us together!" Toshiya explained as good as he could to make Shinya understand.

"Die feels the same?" Shinya suddenly asked. Toshiya nodded, "Hai…but it’s over now…I guess…because of Kaoru…"

Shinya pouted, "I want to ask you something…"

Toshiya looked at him.

"Do you like Kaoru?"

Toshiya blushed furiously.

"…"

"Toshiya…answer me"

"…Don’t tease me!" Toshiya pouted turning away. Shinya smiled, "I’m not teasing you!"

"…"

"Toshiya…you do right?"

There was no reply.

"If you knew it, then why did you go out with Die?" Shinya asked.

Toshiya pouted not knowing the answer, "I don’t know…it’s just…I don’t know! Die is a nice guy, and going out with Die feels so good! I wanted somebody last time and Die was just there! And we didn’t even have an official day for it!"

Shinya looked thoughtful.

"It just happened! You’ll understand when it comes to you!" Toshiya spoke in a tone that made Shinya laughed. "Okay, Toshiya-sama…you sound so old!" the bassist glared at him, "I’m not as ‘young’ as you but I’m not old!" he hissed.

"Kaoru is the old man…" he suddenly added. Hearing this, Toshiya blushed. Why did he mention Kaoru?

"I think you should talk to the old man" Shinya replied sounded a bit teasing. Toshiya stared at him as if he was insane. "To Kaoru? Are you mad?"

"Why not?"

"Because…because he haunts me!" Toshiya stated. Seeing the older man’s body quivered, Shinya started to take things seriously. Toshiya then told him what he had been through! The shower…and the kiss…

"Shinya…I don’t think I can be anywhere near Kaoru anymore…it’s just too scary! Hallucination?!" he hissed in disbelief. Taking Shinya’s hands, "Shinya…I’m not getting crazy just because of this okay? But I thought if Kaoru only appeared in dreams…I could take it! But…he was there while I had shower and when he kissed me in the rehearsal room, it wasn’t real!!!" the bassist whispered nervously, hysterically.

"Do you know why?" Toshiya asked. Shinya turned away, "I thought you’re going to help me!"

Shinya cleared his throat, "I know why…but do you want to accept whatever I say?" Toshiya nodded quickly.

"You always flirt around with Kaoru right? Playing…like Kyo and I" Shinya asked.

Toshiya nodded.

"And you’re just so into passion and pleasure…somebody decides to punish you!" Shinya continued carefully, looking at him. Hearing this, Toshiya felt himself getting scared. Punish?!

"Dare?" he managed to ask faintly.

"You" Shinya stated firmly.

Toshiya’s eyes grew as big as they could. He wanted to protest but he had to accept everything Shinya was going to tell him. So he remained quiet but put up a confused face so Shinya continued.

"Something deep down inside doesn’t want Toshiya to behave badly. He wants Toshiya to feel love…and he wants Toshiya to open his heart" Shinya trailed off ignoring Toshiya’s confusion. The bassist tried and managed to catch what the other man had just said.

"You like Kaoru…but you went out with Die! That’s bad…" Shinya suggested.

"Demo…why?" Toshiya asked shaking his head.

"Toshiya…you know you can’t get what you want from Kaoru! But you can get it from Die! Didn’t you answer the question, when you didn’t want Die to be romantic?"

Toshiya turned away thinking.

No commitment…no pressure…only pleasure…

-you can’t get what you want from Kaoru-

"Toshiya-kun…didn’t you realize every time you had sex with Die you dreamt of Kaoru? When Die was around…you had those hallucination about Kaoru right?" Shinya asked slowly.

Toshiya suddenly felt stupid, he felt so dumb! So blind! He shook his head in disbelief.

"You used Die and Die knew what you could give him! Both of you wanted more but not from each other!" Shinya pressed his hands on Toshiya’s.

"You were with the wrong guy!" Shinya whispered to him. Toshiya blushed remembering all those things he had been through. The nights he had with Die, then the dreams, the shower…all those delusion…

"I can’t believe it…I feel so stupid!" Toshiya covered his face. Shinya smiled pulling him close to his chest,

"It’s good you had realized it, Toshiya-kun…you have to open your heart"

Toshiya nodded resting his head on Shinya’s chest (*.* -L7) sobbing softly.

"I’ve already had, Shinya…no wonder I could feel it even when I was awake! The dreams…the sex I had with him…it felt so real…and I-I wanted more!" he whispered and felt Shinya’s palm brushing his back gently. Die was right! Toshiya enjoyed it! Shinya said it too!

And in the shower…

"Toshiya-kun…look at me…" Shinya pushed him to look into his eyes. Seeing Toshiya’s watery eyes, the drummer wiped the tears off. The bassist finally stopped sobbing after a while.

"You have to talk to Kaoru!"

Toshiya suddenly blushed, "No!!! I’m not doing that!" his heart fluttered.

"But you have to!" Shinya’s voice rose. Toshiya winced, "Kaoru is really really upset right now! You know what you are to Kaoru and he is so hurt! You said mean things to him!" Shinya grabbed Toshiya’s shoulders.

"But…but I’m scared!" Toshiya tried. The drummer shook his head confidently, "Iie! Once you realize your feelings, the other Toshiya deep down there disappears!" The drummer smiled warmly. Toshiya smiled back slightly.

"But spiders…" he tried again.

"No!!! Spiders only exist to wake you up! If you dreamt of Kaoru and only Kaoru without the spiders…do you think they’ll ever open your heart?!!!" Shinya asked loudly. Toshiya blushed deeper.

"No…they would be just another pleasure…and you would think how lucky you were getting it in both reality and dream!" Shinya answered his own question, giving him the I-know-you look. Toshiya pouted and stood up, "But I’m still scared! How if I see things?"

" No! Toshiya-kun, if you see spiders, they are hallucination!" Shinya insisted. Toshiya repeated his words, "If I see spiders…they are delusion!" Shinya nodded agreeing with him, "Hai! I don’t even need to say good luck coz it’s right in front of you!" he convinced.

Toshiya bit his lip then nervously walked out the room heading to the rehearsal room, where Kaoru was. Shinya watched his receding back slowly, then held his chin, sighed.

"Kaoru-kun…you owe me one!" Shinya mumbled. His eyes swept the table and Shinya frowned seeing an ashtray full of cigarette stubs. He fumed but decided to clean it. Shinya reached out for it and threw the whole thing into the bin. But his hands stink!

"Ew…why do I have to do this?" he screwed up his face and headed towards the bathroom.

Shinya entered the bathroom but was greeted by the darkness. He looked up to see only the lights above the sinks were on. The drummer pouted and wrinkled his nose at the stench of what people called cigarettes on his fingers. Turning the tap on, Shinya quickly washed his hands with a large amount of liquid soap. He sighed in relief as he could smell no more of that disgusting smell.

Shinya wiped his wet hands and was about to throw the napkin when the door was suddenly opened. The young man lifted his eyes up and narrowed them quickly.

Die pouted at the sight of Shinya glaring at him.

"What are you doing here?" the red head asked walking pass Shinya. The drummer turned away and took another napkin. Shinya couldn’t believe seeing the last person he wanted to see in the bathroom! Well, I guess I just can’t get away from him ne?! the drummer pouted. From the corner of his eyes he could see Die was wetting his face.

"Pass me some of those please…" Die pointed at Shinya’s napkin. The drummer pouted still glaring at him.

"Shinya…please…it’s dripping everywhere!" Die pushed. Shinya mumbled something and handed a new one to Die. Shinya stared as Die dried his face, it’s not that he didn’t say ‘please’, but had Die forgotten what he did to Shinya? Remembering that, Shinya growled.

"What now?" Die opened his eyes and looked at him. The younger man averted his eyes.

"Hey…what’s that red cheek?" Die suddenly exclaimed. Shinya widened his eyes as Die reached out touching his cheek. The drummer slapped his big hand away, "Don’t touch!" he hissed.

Die smirked, "Ah…it’s not that I never touch you before…" he mouthed teasingly. Shinya felt his cheeks burnt.

"I’ve kissed you remember?" the red head asked again. Shinya greeted his teeth then gasped as Die held his chin, "I wonder how my kiss makes it turn crimson…" he looked at the red spot closely, "Heck! You look a lot better ne Shinya…" the older man smiled slyly. Shinya did look cuter with slightly blushing cheeks. Little did Die know Shinya was blushing furiously. But there was nothing much to see under the dim light.

"I hate you!" Shinya hissed again, slapping Die’s hand hard. The guitarist winced slightly massaging the back of his hand. He leaned on the sink with a smile painted on his lips, "Well…that’s the difference between you and me Shinya…"

"I don’t hate you…" Die whispered a tone lower.

Shinya bit his lips. It couldn’t be true! But Toshiya and Kaoru told him the same thing the other man just did…Die didn’t hate him.

It can’t be true!

Shinya lifted his eyes up and met Die’s stare.

*

The corridor was empty and quiet as Toshiya nervously walked on the carpeted floor. He felt his heart leapt against his chest knowing the rehearsal room was only few meters away. The bassist chewed his lips as he turned the doorknob. He peered but couldn’t see anyone. Toshiya sighed, in relief and disappointment.

"Kaoru…" he softly called out but there was no reply. He looked around and suddenly a noise appeared behind the desk. Toshiya gasped, blushed slightly as Kaoru stood up near the desk. The older man looked surprise seeing him but there was something else in those eyes that Toshiya didn’t really know what it was.

"Toshiya…" he called out but softly.

The bassist moved closer to him, gulping.

"I-I need to talk to you…" Toshiya’s voice sounded really faint. He looked up meeting Kaoru’s gaze.

Kaoru looked pale.

"I-I’m really sorry about what I had said about you…" Toshiya stepped forward but Kaoru suddenly stepped back. The guitarist looked paler than before and he rolled his eyes around nervously. The younger man who didn’t seem to notice continued.

"And…I…I have something to say…something really important to tell you!" Toshiya looked up wanting to see Kaoru’s reaction but the older man didn’t really pay any attention. Toshiya joined his eyebrows, No…he doesn’t really care does he?

"Toshiya…I know, whatever you want to say…don’t say it now!" Kaoru narrowed his eyes at the desk and looked around. Toshiya bit his lips. Tears filled his eyes, and soon he knew he would burst out crying. He was so mean! He didn’t even really pay any attention! Kaoru…why can’t you spare a second so I can tell you how I feel?

Decided it’s now or never, Toshiya moved –even- closer to Kaoru. The guitarist gulped, looking surprise. Toshiya rested his hand on the desk, biting his lower lip.

"Kaoru…I…" now he couldn’t find the words!!!

Toshiya felt something crept up his arm. He had an idea what it was but tried to ignore it.

"What I feel…" why did he have to stutter now?!

That ‘something’ crept further up his arm. Toshiya brightened his eyes at the older man. Kaoru was looking at him, carefully with pale face, fearful eyes. Toshiya tired to ignore it! If the man in front of him wasn’t Kaoru, he wouldn’t care! He had to say it!!! But that ‘something’ moved…and it distracted him.

I’m not scared! Not scared! It’s just that stupid tarantula and it’s nothing!

But Toshiya couldn’t help rolling his eyes to his right arm.

There was a spider, a small spider rested itself on his arm.

Hallucination…tarantula or not…it’s spider and it’s delusion…

"Kaoru…I-"

He stopped feeling something and glanced at his arm only to see the small eight legged thing crawled up his arm. It was small, yeah! But it felt real…and ticklish! Toshiya stood frozen for a while before looking up at Kaoru. The guitarist gazed at him worriedly chewing his lips. It felt ticklish again…now it was on his upper arm…moving towards his shoulder…

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhh!!!!

*

A rumpled Shinya rushed in and found Kaoru holding Toshiya in his arms. The drummer panted heavily, "What? What happened?" Shinya tried to catch some air and stared as the older man placed the bassist on the couch. Shinya moved closer and studied Toshiya’s face. The young man gulped and looked at Kaoru confusedly.

"He fainted…" Kaoru smiled slightly brushing the hair off Toshiya’s face gently.

Shinya bit his lip, "Why?" he asked. Suddenly the door burst open, "I heard Toshiya screaming!!!" Die gasped heavily. His eyes bulged seeing a fainted Toshiya on the couch.

Yoshiki put a hand on his waist standing behind Die. He sighed seeing Toshiya lying on the couch.

"Na…what happened?" Kyo exclaimed.

Die moved closer standing beside Shinya. The drummer turned away while Die stared at him weirdly. The red head pouted and focused on Toshiya.

Kaoru couched down and stared at Toshiya, "I tried to warn him…but he didn’t really notice" he spoke softly staring at the pretty face right before him.

"Notice what?" Shinya asked aloud.

"I saw a small spider and was trying to catch it and suddenly Toshiya appeared!" Kaoru explained really briefly. Shinya sighed in relief and smiled slightly. Poor Toshiya, he thought. Die sighed, "Oh…I thought he had weird things happening again…" he sounded as if he was expecting something really horrible. Shinya blushed a little.

Kyo grinned, "Ne Shinya…isn’t it Die’s jacket ya have on?"

Only Kyo would notice this kind of thing…

Shinya’s eyes bulged as he looked down to himself. Die covered his eyes. Yoshiki turned to Die, "It looks a bit familiar, Shinya…" the older man spoke and turned to Shinya looking at him from head to toes. Shinya blushed furiously, "My shirt is wet…the tap doesn’t work properly…" he looked at Die.

"…and it wet Shinya’s shirt! So I had to lend him…" the red head continued.

"…the jacket!" Shinya finished it off, gripping the jacket tightly. Yoshiki nodded, Kaoru smiled and Kyo looked thoughtful.

"I see…wonder how you guys treat each other so nicely…" the vocalist mouthed evilly. Yoshiki hid a smile. Die and Shinya looked at each other before turning away because Toshiya moved a little and moaned.

"Mn…"

"Toshiya…"

Toshiya opened his eyes and saw all his bandmates including his producer staring at him worriedly. The bassist sat up and blushed a little, trying to hide behind his long hair. "Why are you guys staring at me?" Shinya smiled, "You fainted ne…"

Toshiya’s eyes flapped open then he looked around nervously, "S-spider…" he stuttered. Kaoru sighed drawing everyone’s attention to him. The pretty bassist’s heart fluttered realising how close Kaoru was to him. The guitarist looked so good…*sigh* and so soothing…Shinya chuckled noticing the sudden hot flush on Toshiya’s cheeks.

"Look there…I trapped it with a jar…" Kaoru pointed and everyone turned to the direction. A small spider was trapped in a see-through jar and the way it crept all over the small space made Toshiya quivered. Noticing that, Kaoru touched his shoulder,

"Hey…you’re safe ne…it can’t go anywhere…" He spoke gently. Toshiya looked at the jar, making sure it was properly placed on the desk so the ‘horrible thing’ couldn’t get out from it. The younger man then glanced at Kaoru, smiling shyly.

"Domo…" he whispered. If Yoshiki didn’t stop him Kyo would have cheered.

"Ano…why don’t we leave this room…it seems to me Toshiya and Kaoru have a lot of things to talk about…" Die suddenly exclaimed. Yoshiki nodded, Kyo pouted, Shinya moved away grinning to Kaoru.

Toshiya looked up to Die in disbelief. The red head met his gaze and winked. The younger man smiled nervously, gladly. But somehow Toshiya seriously had the urge to stand up and pulled all the others back so he wouldn’t be left alone with Kaoru! He held his breath as the door was shut quietly. The bassist heard Kaoru clearing his throat.

"…*Ahem* … Toshiya…" Kaoru called out. Toshiya turned to him only to find a blushing Kaoru. He too began to blush deeper. Toshiya gripped his jeans tightly until the knuckles turned white.

"I heard you wanted to tell me something…" Kaoru sat on his knees.

Toshiya bit his lip turning pale, Now or never…

"Hai…I want you to know I…I’ve been through a lot of horrible dreams…" he noticed the hurt look in Kaoru’s eyes.

"Iie! Not you!" he touched Kaoru’s arm. "I dreamt of spiders too! I even hallucinated things!!!"

"Hounto ni?" Kaoru sounded really worried.

Toshiya nodded, "I-I… one minute I was having the time of my life…but the next second…I had a huge spider crawling up your body! That was so horrible!!!" he spoke nervously. Kaoru was listening carefully, word by word.

"I can never hate you…and you should know that!" Toshiya pouted looking into Kaoru’s alluring eyes. "I told you to go away because I was being stupid! Shinya was right! I should have opened my heart and realized what was my true feeling…but instead of doing so, …" he fell silent. Kaoru nodded.

"I get it…" he whispered. But Toshiya felt he had to continue.

"I knew I’ve made such a wrong decision…being with Die! And I’ve hurt Die…and myself here…" Toshiya placed his palm on his chest, feeling his fast heartbeat. Suddenly Kaoru held the hand and placed the palm on -his- chest.

"And here…" Kaoru looked at him tenderly as he whispered. Toshiya looked at him in disbelief. He could feel Kaoru’s heartbeat. It was fast…but not as fast as his. Toshiya felt like crying…

"And I’ve realized the mistake…Kaoru, I-" he stopped as Kaoru’s expression turned serious.

"Toshiya…I really like you…"

"…" The pretty young man was totally speechless! He didn’t know Kaoru would say it so straightforwardly! Looking at Kaoru now, so determined and calm, he wanted to say it too.

"I really like you too, Kaoru…" he replied shyly, not as loud as Kaoru’s. The bassist hung his head down and when Kaoru held his chin up he could see the tears rolling down his cheeks. Pulling the pretty one close to his chest, Kaoru, smiling in relief, soothed him by rubbing his back gently.

"I’m so glad…you feel the same…" Kaoru mumbled near his ear. He felt Toshiya nodding slowly. The older man then pushed Toshiya and gave him a subtle kiss on his forehead.

"Let’s start from here ne…"

Toshiya nodded.

*

"Kyo…don’t do that…" Yoshiki massaged his temple. Kyo pouted, "It’s too late to stop me…it’s finished!" Kyo removed his ear from the door. Die laughed placing a hand on his waist. Shinya smiled slightly.

"What happened?" Yoshiki asked, innocently. Everyone looked at him in surprise. Kyo joined his eyebrows, "Hey…don’t’ you know? I thought we all knew they like each other!" he glanced at his bandmates who merely nodded. The producer lifted his hands up, "Well…I’m not around everyday…so…"

Kyo pouted, "You should hang around more ne…" he crossed his arms.

Yoshiki smirked pulling Kyo close to him, ‘I’ll make it up to you…don’t I always, anyway?" Die gasped, winced, and covered his face as the older man moved down kissing Kyo passionately. The vocalist parted his lips and met the older man’s tongue. The red head made few funny sounds in attempt to break their union.

Yoshiki was the first one who noticed. Kyo pouted as his lover pulled away. Both of them turned and saw Die’s weird expression and Shinya’s really pale face. Realising what had he done, the producer blushed. Kyo got it few seconds later and grinned widely.

"Ne Shin-chan…he’s mine…" Kyo clutched on Yoshiki’s arm tightly. The young drummer froze for a long time before looking at his idol. Yoshiki nodded quickly to him, "Hai…I think you should know Shinya…that me, and your teddy bear…" he wrapped an arm around Kyo’s shoulder,

"…are lovers" he stated firmly but couldn’t help the guilt that seeped into him. He should’ve told the lovely one earlier, not letting Shinya found out this way. Die, who began to feel worried, glanced at Shinya, wanting to know his reaction. Kyo stared at Shinya.

Four of them stood there for a really long time. Die was going to touch Shinya’s arm but then Shinya fell backwards.

"Ahhh!!! Shinya!!!" Yoshiki shouted.

Die blinked in surprise as Shinya’s frail body fell in his arms. Kyo gulped, "Oh my…" he mumbled sheepishly.

"This is a really bad day for bishounen!!!" Die commented.

*

"Hn…" Shinya moved his head slightly. It felt so comfortable ne…where was he? Was he at home? On his bed? Coz the pillow felt so comfy and warm…and he wanted to be on the bed forever…and the scent…so familiar…

Shinya blinked his eyes open. The first thing that he saw was few locks of red hair near his eyes. He blinked his eyes open wider before rolling them around. Realising where he was, Shinya moved.

"Shinya! What are you doing?"

Shinya pouted cutely kicking his legs hard. His hands clenched in fists hitting Die’s firm chest. The red head winced though it didn’t hurt at all! Why? Because he was so used to it!

"Shinya!!!" he hissed.

"Put me down! You pervert!" Shinya hissed back, in a whiny voice. Die shot him a soft glare, "A pervert?!" he mouthed. Shinya whimpered helplessly seeing Die didn’t even stop walking. His legs still kicking but his hands stopped hitting.

"Hai! Hentai!" Shinya mouthed back. Die chuckled, "You like calling me names eh?" (^^…Mat-L7) Shinya blushed biting his lower lip.

"Ecchi!" Shinya hissed.

Die looked at him funnily, "Well…you’re the one who kissed me first!" he mouthed again. Shinya gasped, "Iie! You were the one who leaned close!" he protested. Die rolled his eyes, "But you’re the one who wrapped arms around me!"

"You pulled me to your arms!"

"You took my pants off!"

"…Iie! You tore my shirt first!!!"

"You wanted me too!"

"No!"

"Hai! You didn’t resist!"

"You did it so quickly!"

"Don’t you dare to deny wrapping your legs around my waist!"

"………where are you taking me?"

"Toilet"

"…nani?!!!"

"Ouch! Joking! Rest room!"

"You owe me a shirt!"

"Nani? It’s only the buttons Shinya…you’re wearing my jacket anyway…"

"Iie! I’ll take it off right now…"

"Ah…and revealing your exquisite chest?"

"…Hentai!"

"You like it that way…ouch! Stop that!"

"……"

"That better, Shin-chan…"

Die stopped and opened the door. Shinya pouted his beautiful lips, and leaned on Die’s chest shyly while his arms already wrapped around the red head’s neck. The drummer looked around as Die put him on the couch. The red head stared at him, almost in a loving way but Shinya being himself tried his best to deny it. Die reached out stroking his slightly pinked delicate cheek.

"Ne… Shin-chan, I think we have a lot to talk about!"

Shinya felt his heart fluttered beautifully.

*

*

~owari ~

Lady7

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