Heaven Cannot Wait
by Matrim
hide&Kaoru pt. 3a
Incense floated up into the air, dancing above hides hair,
twisting
as it disappeared. The apartment was dark and seemingly empty except
for
hide, who knelt before a small altar.
It was quiet except for a few sniffles and sobs. Hide looked at the
picture of Kaoru in his Myaku costume before a concert, smoking a
cigarette
and smiling. Hide sniffed again. Gomenasai, Kaoru-chan
this is all
my
fault. You were so young
it shouldnt have ended this way. Hide
wiped a
tear hastily away. Toshiya is so upsethe wont eat and he cries
himself
to sleep each night. And he stays in bed and stares at the spot where
you
once lay next to him. Kyo wont sing. Die doesnt smile anymore and
Shinya
is crying, like youve never seen him do before. They dont know what
to do
without you. They dont want to hire another guitarist because there
is
only one of you. Id help them but
but I cant. Im dead. I suppose
you
and I will meet again. They should be zapping me back now to punish me
for
letting you die.
The picture-Kaoru continued to smile.
Gomen ne, Kaoru
.
Five days earlier~
It was supposed to be an easy task.
It had started out like every other week. Well, almost.
The world is just five minutes to the finishOH MY GOD!!! hide sang
from
the kitchen, searching among the pots and pans for something.
Kaoru groaned and burrowed into the pillows deeper, That better
not
be
some kind of early warning system.
Toshiya groaned, grabbed his pillow and placed it over his head.
Kaoru
grabbed the blanket and pulled it over his head. It didnt block out
anything.
Hi-Ho!
Nevertheless, Kaoru found himself singing along.
Toshiya gave another groan and whacked Kaoru with his pillow.
Urusai!
Its too early in the morning! He fluffed his pillow and stubbornly
rolled
over and squeezed his eyes shut.
Kaoru chuckled, the blanket still over his head. Well,
youre the
one who
said that if he wanted to wear the apron he had to cook. Is it my
fault he
wants to cook in the morning? Besides, you have to get up early
anyway,
were recording today, remember?
In response, Toshiya gave a snore.
Hi-Ho!
Kaoru giggled. He had to admit there were worse ways to wake up. He
reached over hugged Toshiya close and said in his ear, Cmon. Okite.
Mm
Okite kudasai, Kaoru drawled.
Toshiya tried to pout but was failing miserably. A smile was starting
to
peek through.
Nemui desu ka? Kaoru asked.
Hai~! Toshiya said, in his sleepy voice.
Ja nete kudasai. Oyasuminasai. Kaoru kissed Toshiyas
ear then he
kissed him on the mouth. He moved out of the bed.
Kaoru?
Eh?
Brush your teeth, Toshiya said. Kaoru scowled and threw a
pillow at
Toshiya, who giggled.
I thought you were sleeping?
Toshiya snored again in response. Kaoru shook his head fondly and
headed
out to the kitchen to survey the damage. Hide was still singing Hi-Ho
but
with less volume this time. He was staring into the refrigerator like
it
held all the secrets of the universe. Youre out of eggs, the angel
said,
without looking at Kaoru.
Kaoru made a mental note of that and stared around the kitchen. Hide
hadnt cooked anything. Odd. It had sounded like he had.
You dont have any pancake mix either. No milk. Barely any
butter.
No
juice. Baking cookies is out of the question because Toshiya says
theres
something wrong with the oven. And Im sure you dont want to eat rice
alone. No home cooked breakfast today, Im afraid. Hide straightened
with
a frown.
Thats okay. Kaoru said and yawned, We can pick
something up along
the
way.
Where you going?
Recording. Kaoru replied.
Oh, hide and Kaoru looked toward the door. Hide closed the
door and
followed Kaoru to the door. Kaoru picked it up and opened it then read
it
out loud.
By Friday, Kaoru must fight with hide or he will die at 11:00
am.
He
stared at the taller man, who shrugged and smiled back. Quick, say
something that pisses me off.
Hides smile widened, That shouldnt be too hard.
Alright
well?
hide thought and then said, You have terrible wit.
And your hairs too pink for your own good. Thats not
pissing me
off,
keep going. Kaoru said with a smirk.
You dress like a male prostitute. Hide offered.
Im sure you would know.
Hide scratched his head. This was harder than he thought. Toshiya
passed
the both of them in the hall, heading toward the kitchen and hide got
an
idea, Toshiya says youre terrible in bed.
Nani? Toshiya asked, turning around. Kaoru had a very
confused
expression on his face. Toshiya frowned and wrapped his arms around
Kaoru,
resting his head on his shoulder. Thats not true
I know its not true. Kaoru said with a smile for his
koi. I just
told
hide to say something that pisses me off.
What for? Toshiya asked and Kaoru handed him the message.
Oh.
Well,
you two always fight so it shouldnt be a problem, right? Besides,
youve
got until Friday. Cmon, lets go. Or well be late. Kaoru nodded
as
they gathered their things and left.
Oh, youre no fun. Hide pouted. Youre not
supposed to sit there
and
take it or toss half felt insults back at me. Youre supposed to get
angry. He surreptitiously glared at the younger man, who was flipping
through a magazine ignoring him. Kaoru glanced up, hide looked away
and
Toshiya chuckled, Kaoru-kun.
They sat on the studio couches, waiting for the others to arrive.
Toshiya
idly plucked out a tune on his bass as he waited every now and again,
looking up at his koi and hide. Hai, hide-sama? Kaoru said,
blankly, his
eyes scanning across the page.
Dont call me hide-sama, hide replied, hoping that
this would lead
to a
fight but it didnt.
Gomen, hide. Kaoru flipped another page to the magazine.
Hide tried not to scream. What was wrong with him? Usually, it just
takes
a tiny pushnot even really a nudgeand it sends him over the edge but
now?
Kaoru-kun!
Hai?
hide slipped from his chair and onto Kaorus lap. He straddled
Kaoru
and
places his arms on Kaorus shoulders. Youre supposed to be angry!
Please! Cmon get fucking pissed, would ya? hide half whined at him.
Kaoru looked up from his magazine. How can I be angry with you
sitting in
my lap? Of course, I cant say the same for Totchi. He glanced over
at
Toshiya and hide did the same. Toshiya turned around and stuck his
tongue
out that.
Itll take a lot more than that to piss me off.
Hide turned around to stare back at Kaoru. He smirked. Kaoru
frowned.
Hide batted his eyelashes at Kaoru, Kaoru-chan!
Thats it. Remove yourself from my lap, immediately,
Kaoru said in
a
commanding tone.
Hide threw his head back and laughed. Yes, angry!! Give me more
of
that!
Fury! Passion! hide cheered. Kaoru gave him a look that told him
he
was insane and burst out laughing. Hide frowned. That wasnt supposed
to
happen. Kaoru!
Gomen! The young guitarist managed as he tried to gain his
breath
back
between laughs while Toshiya smirked. Gomen, hide. I just cant get
angry
today. Im in a good mood.
Hide removed himself from Kaorus lap with a sigh.
Considering what
you
and Toshiya were doing last night, I dont blame you. Kaorus eyes
widened
in shock and Toshiya blinked. He smirked and muttered, Im dead, not
deaf. The door opened and Shinya and Die walked in, dragging a half
asleep
Kyo behind them. Ohayou, Shinya-kun, Die-kun and Kyo-kun.
Ohayou, hide-san, Shinya and Die replied. Kyo murmured
something
that
sounded like the same. Kaoru continued reading for a couple more
minutes
then placed the magazine aside and looked up at his band mates. Shinya
waited patiently for whatever Kaoru was going to say and Die poked Kyo
every
now and again to keep him awake. Kaoru nodded and Shinya went to his
drumset, Die dragged Kyo to his microphone on the way to setting up his
own
equipment and Kaoru grabbed his guitar.
hide?
Hai?
Can you go to the control room and listen to us there?
Kaoru asked,
sounding a little shy. He even fidgeted with the pick he held in his
hand.
Hide nodded as he wondered what was wrong with Kaoru.
Kaoru gulped and sighed with relief when the angel left the room.
Toshiya
saw this and reached out to massage his kois shoulder. Kaoru let
himself
slump with relaxation as he felt Toshiyas touch. Daijyoubu ne,
Kaoru
.
Hounto?
Un. Daijyoubu. Because I said so. Toshiya said firmly.
I know
hide
is your role model and how nervous you are about letting him hear our
music
but itll be okay.
Shinya twirled a drumstick and glared at it when it dropped from his
hand.
Im sure hide will like our music, Kaoru, and if he doesnt
Kaoru
felt
his eyes widen at the younger man. Shinya shrugged, as he retrieved
his
drumstick and tried to twirl it again only to have it drop once more.
If
he doesnt, wellthen no one told him to listen.
Before Kaoru could protest, Die spoke up, What Shin-chans
trying to
say
is that if hide doesnt like it, it isnt the end of the world. And if
he
complains about it, tell him that you didnt expect him to like it.
Hes still relatively human, pink smoke or no pink
smoke, Kyo said,
sleepily.
Kaoru blinked. Is this really my band? A-arigato, minna!
Uh
lets
begin. He took a set of headphones off his amp and put them on. He
looked
up at his producer, who nodded and they began.
*********
And thats it! Last cut of the day! Ill see you guys
tomorrow!
Good
work! The producer told them and Dir en Grey smiled at each other
tiredly.
They began to clean up and put their things away as hide made an
appearance once more, this time smoking a cigarette. Shinya looked up
at
him but said nothing. I remember days like this except Yoshiki was
much
more tyrannical than you. Control freak
He muttered, then
remembered
Shinya. Gomen, Shinya-kun
just telling it as I saw it.
Shinya nodded.
Kaoru smiled, even though he had no idea what hide thought of the
music.
He tried to tell himself that it didnt matter but a little niggling
thought
kept running through his brain screaming, Oh, God!!! What is he
thinking?
What is he thinking!? Did he like it? Did he like it?! Kaoru hoped
to
whoever was up there or wherever that hides powers werent working
today.
Ill promise to be good just dont let his powers be working! Ill be
very
very good. Ill even cut my hair and dye it back to black again. He
winced at that. That was the last thing he wanted to do. Well, that
wasnt
true. Giving up Toshiya would be the last thing he did. As if hearing
that
though, Toshiya slid up behind him and pinched his ass. Kaoru squeaked
and
jumped. Toshiya giggled and whispered, You look a little tense
there
want
me to help you with that?
Later, Kaoru said. (Mat: 0.o
where the hell is this
going?)
Promise?
Of course
however
Nani?
Can I be seme this time? (Mat: *gives up as her Raphael
clones
take
over*)
Toshiya purred, slipping his arms around Kaoru from behind. Kaoru was
glad
hide was talking to the other three for awhile and closes his eyes,
relaxing
in Toshiyas embrace. The bassist nipped his ear and huskily replied,
No.
Mou
Toshiya!! Kaoru whined, Youve been
seme for the past week!
You dont complain about it when it matters
Toshiya replied.
That was true, he didnt. Toshiya smirked as he noticed
Kaorus
sudden
silence and took that moment to kiss him. Ill be really gentle this
time
I promise, he said between kisses. (Mat: *wrestles control
away
from Raphael clones*)
Oi! You two! Die interrupted. Totchi growled as Kaoru
pulled away
to
give Die his attention. Die smirked then went on, Were going to go
to a
bar and have a few drinks
Or more, hide added.
to relax. You coming?
Kaoru nodded. Hai. Totchi, are you coming?
Toshiya nodded. He looked over at Kyo, Are you coming?
The vocalist shook his head. You know I dont like alcohol.
Im
going
home. Ive actually got dinner waiting for me on the table! Kyo
smiled.
Toshiya frowned, If you dont like alcohol, the why did she
tell us
that
you got drunk all the time with her?
Kyo winked. An old trick I use. I pretend to be drunk to see how
the
girl would react. It was fun having her carry me home or your home,
Shinya, he amended, when he noticed the drummer glaring at him. It
was
nice having her take care of me, letting me fall asleep on her lap. .
.
Shinya still glared at him as Die said, You didnt do
anything to
her, did
you?
Of course not!!
Kyo, Shinya said, slowly, I think I speak for
everyone when I say
this
Nani?
Thats pathetic!! The drummer exploded. Hide, Toshiya,
Die and
Kaoru
began laughing. What kind of man are you? he demanded.
I-I- Kyo stammered, then glared back at Shinya.
Youre not really
her
cousin, you know! Shes a grown he seemed at a loss for words as
Shinya
crossed his arms and continued to glare at him, Angel. He finished,
She
can date whoever she likes!
Shinya nodded then pretended to look up innocently. He tapped
thoughtful
finger against his lips as he said, Hm. I wonder what she would say
if she
found out about this? Kaoru suppressed a laugh at the frightened
expression on Kyos face.
Shin-chan!! Dont! The vocalist yelled. Everyone
winced at the
volume
of his voice except Shinya, who refused to be intimidated. Then again,
Kaoru thought, Hes faced Death 8 times in a row.
Oh, I wont say anything. Shinya said, slipping his
bag strap over
his
shoulder. But you will before she finds out some other way. And
something
tells me that if she doesnt get it from you first, youll be missing a
girlfriend, an angel and a few other body parts. Kyo turned pale at
that
and ran out of the room with a rushed, Ja ne!!
Die frowned, Shinya
.whyd you do that? Hes
scared now.
Its the truth. Shinya shrugged. I have a
feeling she already
knows
but now he knows not to lie to people he cares about, ne?
True. The others agreed.
Hide smiled, To the bar!!
*********
Fifth round of beer and Kaoru knew he was on his way to being totally
drunk. Not that it was too bad hide was very fun to be with while
being
this way, but tonight everyones guard was down as their alcohol intake
went
up.
Like for instance, hide was no longer being referred to as Hikaru.
After
the third round of beer, he magically transformed back into
hide-in-an-apron. Every now and again, he would claim he was a
cosplayer
(or rather a cosh-prayer) while someone on the table would mutter
something like, Yeah, and Sugizo is the patron saint of virgins.
But, personally, Kaoru felt that wasnt true. So he had voiced it
out
loud. Hide smirked. Well, he used to be. Who is it now?
I thought it was me, Shinya said, holding his drink with
his eyes a
little unfocused.
Toshiya shook his head, Now way. Not with the subtle way
Dies been
fondling you all night. The table burst into laughter again as Die
scowled
at Totchi and Shinya removed Dies hand from his lap.
Hell, Im it. Hide said, drinking the last drop of
beer and ordered
another one.
You just want to be near the virgins, so you dont
count, Kaoru
told
him.
Hide winked as he stood on his chair and posed, What? You never
heard of
a virgin sacrifice? He fluffed the back of his hair and winked at
Kaoru
and Toshiya. Kaoru started laughing again at the sight. He wished he
had a
camera. Hide licked his lips, seductively, but stopped when something
caught his attention at the door. His eyes narrowed as he gazed off
then he
said, Hey, that looks like Sugi. And hes with Ryu
and J
and
Takuro
and
hide jumped down from the chair and put his head down on his arms.
HayakuKaoruget sober!!
Sober? Kaoru said the word as if he never heard of it
before. He
reached over and patted hides pink head to get his attention. Naze?
hide glared at him, So you can remember my other name,
baka. He
quickly
hid his face again when he noticed Hisashi notice the Dir en Grey table
(minus Kyo, plus hideI mean, Hikaru).
Kaoru frowned then shook Toshiya, who was currently arguing with Die
about
that diet he was on. Its a stupid idea. You keep this up and youll
be
skinnier than Shinya! We dont need another stick in this band! Itai!
Kaoru
Totchi, I cant remember hides other name, what was
it? He asked,
speaking in the bassists ear.
Hikaru!! Toshiya yelled out.
Hikki!! Die cheered.
Utada Hikaru? Shinya asked, Where? He stood up
and looked around
as
Die pulled him back down.
Not that Hikaru!! You know shes underage! Totchi
snapped at the
same
time hide yelled, Do you want them to come over here or what?!
Want who to come Toshiya, Die and Shinyas heads
turned as one in
the
direction of the door and saw the beginning of the end for Kaoru and
hide.
Oh, shit.
Dont tell me theyre coming over here!! hide
said, his voice
muffled.
Eto
Theyre coming! Die said.
Hikki, pretend youre asleep! Toshiya yelled down at
hide.
Totchi, hes drunk not deaf! Shinya scolded. Hide
patted Shinyas
hand
in agreement and stopped moving. The whole table quieted down. Hisashi
ran
up with Takuro and the rest in tow.
Konbanwa, Kaoru-san! Toshiya-san! Shinya-san! Die-san!
Kaoru
remained
silent and stoic, staring straight in front of him, Toshiya smiled,
Shinya
nodded and Die also nodded at him.
Toshiya poked at Kaoru, while saying, Hed acknowledge your
presence
but
hes pretending not to be drunk and stupid.
Isnt he always stupid? Takuro asked. Kaoru clenched
his jaw.
Things
were still not okay between him and the Glay god. Kaoru chose not to
respond to that. Besides, Takuros friends outnumbered his and hide
would
probably take Takuros side. Kaoru sat on his jealousy. Hide was his
angel, truebut friendship was stronger. I wonder if were friends?
Manami
was friends with Shinya and Die.
Toshiya hugged Kaoru possessively to his chest and glared daggers at
Takuro. My Kaoru is not stupid, he hissed. Well, if hide wouldnt
be
there for him, he would always have Toshiya.
Hisashi cleared his throat, trying to bring peace between the two of
if
not, change the subject so the tension wouldnt be so thick, Whats up
with
Hikaru? Uh
that is Hikaru, right? Toshiya, Kaoru, Die and Shinya
turned
to stare at hide, who looked asleep to those who didnt know better.
Hikki isnt feeling well, Die said.
Hes pretty drunk, Toshiya affirmed, still hugging
Kaoru.
Hisashi nodded, in sympathy. Ano
do you guys mind if we sit
her and
drink
with you?
We were just about to leave, Toshiya said. Take Hikki
home.
Kaoru nodded, Un. Its been a long day for us as well.
Recordingyou
understand how it is.
Hisashi frowned. Oh. But Sugi wanted to see how good Hikaru-san
was
at
cosplaying hide. At those words, every single Dir en Grey member plus
hide
turned pale. Cmon, please say youll stay
Die took a look at Kaorus face and slowly replied,
Eto
I dont
know
Hikarus not really in the greatest of cosplay modes right now.
Hes
very picky about that sort of stuff.
Nonsense, Sugi said, stepping forward. If hes
as good as
Hisa-chan
says than lets see his drunk hide cosplay.
Shinya shot a panicked look to Die, who instantly shot it to Kaoru.
The
same look was mirrored in Toshiyas eyes although he couldnt see it,
but he
felt it in Toshiyas embrace. He looked back at hide, who sat unmoving
at
the table. Hi-hikaru.. He had to think fast, Sugizo was stepping
around
to hides side of the table and was shaking hide to wake him upOh,
God, no
no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!!!!!!!!!!! Toshiya held him
tight as if he could keep death away by this simple act.
Hes not waking up. Sugizo said, worriedly, stole a
seat and sat
next to
hide. He ordered some whiskey and tried to peek at hide. Does he
always
do this?
They all nodded frantically. We just leave him there and only
wake
him up
when its time to go. Hell be okay with a little sleep. Toshiya
said.
The others did the same as Sugizo and sat at their table. They began
to
talk and have a good time and it would seemed like everything was back
to
normal except that Kaoru, Die, Toshiya and Shinya said nothing unless
they
were being spoken too. They all were all speaking to each other by
shooting
each other looks and their silent conversation sort of went like this:
We need to get out of here! Dies look said.
And tell me exactly how we should accomplish this without getting
these two
killed? Toshiyas look replied.
I dont knowgrab both of them and run out the door like a
bat out of
hell?
Dies eyes snapped.
Dont talk to him like that, Kaoru glared and took a sip of
alcohol.
Die, your idea wont work. Theyll know something is wrong
and run
after
us. And Sugizo and the others dont look like theyre gonna give up on
trying to peek at hides face. Shinya glanced at his lover and Die ran
a
hand through his hair, looking depressed.
Maybe if we send hide to the bathroom and encourage him to use his
powers
to zap him back home? Toshiyas eyes were hopeful and all four of them
shrugged although no one else noticed it. All four eyes slid to hide.
I dont know if his powers are working, Kaorus worried look
told
them. He
hasnt scolded me silently all day. And he hasnt said anything about
what
Im thinking and stuff like that.
Die looked at hide thoughtfully, Somebody poke him. We have to get
him up
and out of here.
The others will figure it out. Toshiya warned.
Ill do it. Kaoru stood, moved around the others and bent down
over
hide.
He patted his shoulder and moved close to say, Can you somehow stumble
over
to the bathroom and use your powers to get the hell out of here?
Cant. He heard. They havent been working
properly all weekend.
Are you kidding me?
No.
Well, just go to the bathroom and then slip out or
something
hide
(ßhide
as in the English word that means to conceal, to cover up, not hides
name)
I dont know!! Kaoru told him and straightened up.
Is he alive? Ryu asked and Kaoru shook his head.
No. He said, without thinking then winced when he did
realize what
he
had said.
********
hide groaned. This was not going well at all. One part of him wanted
to
throw an arm around Sugizo and laugh and drink and have fun with him
and the
others while the other knew perfectly well what would happen if he did
that
and it did not want to even imagine the trouble hed be in.
He had to get out of here or he and Kaoru would be dead before they
knew
it. Kaorus idea sounded great. Get up, hide his face and run to the
bathroom as if he wanted to puke but still
.when Sugizo was determined,
he
was ruthless and he would follow him to the bathroom just to see him.
Hide
wa baka baka baka!!!! He scolded himself. And to make matters worse,
his
powers werent working at all!!! There was no choice though. It was
either
go now or go later and hide wanted to get out of there as fast as he
could.
He clenched his fist. Aw, hell with it.
He took a deep breath.
He stood up as quick as he could, turned before Sugizo or anyone else
for
that matter could see his face and booked it for the bathroom. He knew
this
bar, he knew there was a window there that he could escape from and he
and
that window had a date right now. Hikaru-san? he heard Hisashi ask
out,
but he ignored him. His heart pounded in his chest as he knocked over
empty
chairs on the way to bathroom. He heard laughter and someone said
something
to the effect of, Hes a cosplayer, right? Maybe he wont respond to
his
real name
hide-chan!! Matte o!!
He knew he shouldnt do it but he instinctively turned and met
Sugizos
eyes. Oh, shit. Sugizos eyes widened in shock and a few other
emotions
that hide couldnt readily identify. The others at the table were
watching
too and had that very same expression. The only emotion hide felt now
was
fear and Kaoru was staring at him with probably the same look he had on
his
own face. It was only five seconds but it felt like an eternity as
hide
turned around and ran for the bathroom, Sugi hot on his trail.
Fuck!!! Hide slid into the bathroom, banging against the tile wall as
he
heard Sugizo yell something at him. He couldnt hear it due to the
pounding
of his heart in his ears and leapt at the half open window. He heard
Sugizo
come in, just as he was wiggling out of the window, his long legs
dangling
on the bathroom side of the window, the other half of him reaching out
to
land as painlessly as he could out the other side. Something grabbed
at his
legs, telling him that he would hurt himself if he was drunk and fell
out of
it (sounded like J). hide grunted, braced himself against the window
and
pulled himself through it, kicking and fighting whoever the hell was on
the
other side. With a final rip, a sliding noise and a few swear words
from
the other side, hide got free and fell with a rather painful thump onto
the
wet ground of the alley. He picked himself up and leaned against the
wall
with a sigh of relief. Then he remembered that he had been seen
(although
briefly) and he swore. He frowned as he remembered that there had been
a
ripping noise when he had slid out of that window and looked down at
his
clothes. He gently picked a corner of his pink apron up and observed
the
ten inch rip, that stretched from his right pectoral all the way to the
bottom of the apron. He was a quiet for a second, his lip trembled and
then
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This was starting to be a very crappy week. Hide reflected. I
dont
think
it can get any worse.
Little did hide know how wrong he was and just how terrible a week
could
get
to be continued...
email Matrim
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