"Softer than snowfall/colder than ice"

by Yo-yo-san


   It was Christmas Eve, nearing midnight. There had been a party earlier, but all the guests had long since gone home. The house was very near  
completely still, all warmth dissipating as the hours wore on. Yet still, in    one dim room, hung with tapestries and curtains, there was movement.
   The blue and black candles were lit one by one, softly gleaming in the darkened room. Mana's eyes were closed, lashes fluttering in rapt  
contemplation. The roses, chosen for their velvety black-red petals and pure    fragrance, had been scattered about as he had dictated, and their scent    filled the air, sweet, decaying, precious. Everything was right. He threw    himself back on his bed, landing cradled in a nest of silk, velvet, and two    bodies, which swiftly tangled around him, drowning him in a gentle embrace.
   “My most beloved ones--Kfzi, Yu~ki...You have been with me forever. Stay that way. I can’t bear another-“ His voice hitched in a manner very unlike   
his normal smooth tones. “-another loss. One was too hard to bear.”
   They murmured comforting nonsense sounds, breathing gentle kisses on his throat and mouth. He curled his own arms around their warm shoulders,  
praying they could erase the chill that had settled like cobwebs over his    mind. He allowed his fingers to tangle in their hair, drawing them close,    closer, closest.
   They breathed in unison, letting their silent, solid calm blanket Mana. Somewhere in the house a clock struck, twelve heavy strokes that made the  
air itself shiver. Mana smiled, a thin crescent bow of a smile, and stroked    the hair of his two lovers.
   “Merry Christmas, my dearest Yu~ki, Kfzi. What do you want to wish for?”
   “Your happiness, eternally.”
   “Our music, eternally.”
   “Good wishes. Wish again.”
   “Kami...”
   “Kami...”
   A frail tear slipped from between Yu~ki’s eyelashes. Mana saw it fall, and wiped it away from his cheek with slender cold fingers.

   “You miss him more than we two ever could. You were a matched pair, you complemented each other well. To have him stolen from you...”
There was nothing that could bridge the chasm of palpable loneliness that    spread between Yu~ki and the other two. He had lost something that they    still held between them, constantly warming each other like cats at a fire.    Kfzi curled against Mana, not wanting to imagine his absence. The room grew    colder, waiting.
   “You have us now, though. We love you.” The words came out in a rush, tumbling from the rouged mouth like little pebbles. Kfzi reached across  
Mana, tracing the damp trail the tear had left on Yu~ki’s face. “We love    you. Eternally, as he does.”
   Mana closed his hand over Kfzi’s, drawing it his mouth for a soft kiss.
   “Yes. We do.” He kissed Yu~ki’s forehead. It seemed to calm him, and he heaved a gentle sigh.

   “I am thankful for such blessings. Mana...Kfzi...I would wish, that just once, I could see him again. Just for a moment.”

   “Is that your truest wish, Yu~ki?”
   “Yes.”
   “Kfzi?”
   “I miss him, his laughter and gentle smiles. I would wish to say a proper goodbye.”

   “Those wishes may be granted, then. It’s a full-moon midnight on Christmas. Strange things have happened on such days. We have lit candles  
and scattered roses. Now we wait.”
   “But Mana, what of your wish?”
   “I need no wishes. My only wish is that we can continue into eternity, safe in each other’s company, and that has already come true. We are  
forever.”
   They fell silent, and waited. Curled closely with each other, cradled by blankets and stray rose petals, first Kfzi, then Yu~ki fell soundly asleep.  
Mana alone remained awake, watching the moonbeams shift in the window. As   the clock struck one, a thin vapor began to coalesce in the center of the   light. Mana stayed very still, fearing to breathe lest it vanish. It formed   a figure, tall, slender, and more familiar than Mana had dared hope.
   “...kami...” The whisper barely strayed above a breath. The figure—ghost—nodded, a tiny inclination of the head. The eyes stared at  
Mana, eating away his heart for the second time.
   “You died...we...” Again, it nodded, understanding. The apparition pointed at Yu~ki, pleading. “We could never take your place. We can only offer   
comfort, Kami. His soul was destroyed. He needed something.”
   “solace...” The whisper of a ghost, as familiar as the face, crawled over Mana’s skin.

   “Yes. Solace. We offer solace.” Mana could feel tears pricking his own eyes, eyes that sadness never touched. What was this feeling?

   Suddenly, Yu~ki sat bolt upright, eyes and mouth wide open. Blindly searching eyes found the barely visible figure and filled with tears. He  
tried to get out of the bed, finally falling to the floor in his   desperation. Ignoring any injuries from his fall, Yu~ki threw himself at the   feet of the spirit. It reached out to him, eyes black with pain, unable to   touch the tousled curls of the one it had loved in life.
   Mana could hear Yu~ki whimpering a name, over and over. Kami. Kami. Kami. Disentangling his fingers from Kfzi’s hair, he slipped out of the bed, at   
length kneeling beside the distraught man. He could feel a whisper of   ghostly fingers at his throat, colder than ice, but so gentle, like a   snowflake melting. Mana looked up. Kami knelt beside him, tilting up his   chin for the smallest of frosty kisses, then stroking Yu~ki’s hair with a   nearly living tenderness. Yu~ki sobbed openly, almost gasping for air, but   calming, quieting, when Kami’s translucent fingertips found his cheek,   freezing a single tear in place. When he had calmed sufficiently, he gazed   at the ghost, crawling to his knees, and reached out his arms, trying to   embrace the immaterial.
   Mana watched, horrified, as the two embraced soundlessly, ghostly arms entwining about the living body and leaving streaks of frost. Ghostly lips  
met living ones and Yu~ki’s breath was slowly, lovingly stolen. His    breathing stilled, and his skin took on a whiter shade of pale.    Frightened,   Mana clutched at Yu~ki’s shoulder, dragging him away from the specter. It   smiled bitterly at him, then vanished in a sparkle of ice crystals that   chimed like bells as they scattered to the floor.
   Yu~ki lay in Mana’s arms, too silent for comfort. A sharp breath from behind him alerted him that Kfzi was awake and had seen the vision. Mana  
shook Yu~ki gently, trying to ascertain whether or not he was still living.   At length he opened his eyes.
   “Mana? You stopped me. I was going to forget everything and be with Kami again. You didn’t let me. Why?”

   “I need, WE need you more than Kami does, Yu~ki.”
   “No. NO! Kami needs me! Let me go back!” He struggled, but his movements were weak, and soon he stilled. “Please...let me go, Mana. I-“

   “What did it feel like, Yu~ki? What was it like to kiss the dead?”
   “I-...It was softer than snow falling on my lips, but colder, so cold, colder than ice. Wonderful. Perfect. I want to feel that again, Mana, his  
gentle killing kiss. Compared to that, all of your kisses seem like thorns.”
   Mana swallowed hard. He could feel the cold settling through Yu~ki’s body, and couldn’t bear it.

   “Stop. Stop, Yu~ki. Don’t do this to me, to Kfzi, to this band. We need you. Don’t leave us.”

   “For what? I’m a shattered doll, Mana.” Yu~ki’s voice trembled. “I’m tantamount to useless. Useless. Merry Christmas, Mana. I got my wish.”

   “NO!” It came out as a shout, too loud. Struggling hard, Mana heaved Yu~ki to his feet, then to the bed. “Help me, Kfzi. Help me get him warm.”   
Together, they curled around Yu~ki, Mana near tears, trying to convince him   to remain with them.
   Yu~ki could feel their warmth, but it seemed so far away. Kami seemed closer, even the cold, transparent Kami. He could almost hear his voice, but  
it faded quickly.
   Silence. The still of the night just before dawn. In a room draped in velvet and carpeted with rose petals lay three men, tangled together in a  
snarl of silk and skin. One lay, eyes open, bracketed by the others,   mourning that he lived. -------- Yep.

 

End comment: 'Yakusoku da yo Kiss, Raspberry time!!'

 

email Author

back to fics page