Cast (in alphabetical order):


Al Broker
      A Tri-Leader associate, two-headed monkey robot; Al’s heads wish to thank each other, their programmer, their math teacher, and the MGM Hotel in Las Vegas.

Ann Chovi
     A Tri-Leader; the one with the Oreos, trying to take over the world; Ann would like to thank "all my co-stars who did such a wonderful job, especially Roses, without whom I never would have been involved in all this insanity. I'm not sure if that's a good thing. I'd also like to thank Aisle 7 of the supermarket, for never noticing when I . . . liberated baking ingredients."

Billy Jo
      Tri-Leader associate, security squirrel; Billy Jo wishes to thank his martial arts instructor and the local police department. He says hello to his friends in the woods.

Bubba
      A Tri-Leader associate, giant emperor penguin, likes hugs; Bubba wants to thank anyone who has ever made something edible.

Coal Miners
      Slaves of the Tri-Leaders, forced to work and eat Oreos. They want to thank John, for giving them a chance.

Cole Slaw
      Coal Miner, the one in charge. Cole would like to thank... coal. It does a body good! And, of course, John, for giving him the chance to stick it to the Tri-Leaders, and show off his singing voice!

Dark Shadow
      Associate of John, creepy, mysterious, has his own plans. Dark Shadow could not be reached for comment, but at one point, in what a fellow ally describes as "one s***faced night," he mumbled something about Iago being cool. We're assuming he means the parrot from "Aladdin."

Goober
      John’s lackey, the whipping boy. Goober would like to thank John for not killing him, and being forgiving enough to continue hiring him after every time he betrays/talks back to him. He'd like to thank Leroy for nothing.

Holli
     A Junior Tri-Leader, likes fire, rope, and duct tape; Holli says she would like to thank "all those people I just happened to persuade to let me have this role, as well as the Tri-Leaders for thinking that when me and Tails were missing rehearsals it was never on purpose, but rather because we were held up. (Even though we were actually plotting something evil, risky, and fun.)"

Ian
      Associate of John, looking for a good time. Ian thanks Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes, and the inventor of the stuffed llama.

Ilinana
      Associate of John, she never gets credit for anything. She wants to thank her pets, for not burning down the set, Weird Al, for relating to her on the complex issue of mutant left overs in the fridge, someone named "Fred," Fitey, everyone at Pam's, and, of course, the manufacturers of the HAMMER. She would *not* like to thank Joss Whedon, for his bigoted views of vampires in the show "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer."

Jan Chovy
      Associate of John, Ann’s cousin, a family feud gone too far. Jan would like to thank numerous guys all over the nation but, especially, Ian- who she descibes as her "cuddle lamb." She would also like to thank Ann for not killing her at the last family reunion.

Jeff
      All-powerful administrator of Morphz, just leave him alone. Jeff says thanks to himself because he is the greatest guy who ever lived.

John, Lord of Darkness, (dum dumm duummm!!!)
     The Tri-Leaders’ rival, an evil villain with plans to take over the world; John thanks "Morphz for giving me the opportunity to become the amazing Lord of Darkness (Dum Dum Duuuuum!) that I am. I'd also like to thank my evil allies for never, ever, EVER dreaming of stabbing me in the back. And, most of all, I'd like to thank the Tri-Leaders, especially Roses, Ann, and Tyrael, and much special thanks to Roses who is responsible for this whole thing even existing. I'd like to. But I guess the only person I can really thank is myself, for being an ingeniously evil Lord of Darkness (Dum Dum Duuuuum!)! Oh, fine... and thanks to those other undeserving people, or whatever..."

Julia
      Grand Maestro, music Nazi. Julia thanks whoever gave her that first director's baton.

Katherine
      Associate of the Tri-Leaders and John, don’t ask; she says "First off, I would like to thank Ebony. Yeah. Because. Actually, I have nothing to thank her for. I NEVER HAD A MOMMY! Of course, she's a bit more efficient than the OTHER parent. Though I never had a daddy either. Not until I was...hmm. Eleven. Yeah. Practically grown up. Absolutely. Anyway, the people I owe it most to...the beetles! I said, the beetles! CHEER, DAMN YOU! That's better. The beetles. My surrogate family of sorts. They are the silent type, but we have good communication. Really. They took me in when I joined La Resistance, and were my first family of any real sort. And then there was...ahem. My father. But that's a whole nother speech."

Lackeys
      John’s servants, they’re just there to fill in the background. They thank John, because if they don't, they'll get sent to Randall.

Leroy
      One of John's named lackeys, a monkey, likes to get other people in trouble. So he can look better, of course. Leroy would like to thank his grace, Lord John, for being the greatest leader any of us has ever met. He would also like to thank the Coalition for Liberation of Itinerant Tree-dwellers, and the writers of "Brown Nosing for Dummies."

Morphz Boardies
      Unwilling participants, most likely on the Tri-Leader side; they couldn’t agree on anyone to thank as a group.

Mr. Packard
      Tri-Leader associate, mailman; Mr. Packard thanks the US Postal Service and wishes to remind everyone to not let their dogs loose in the front yard.

Murry
      A Tri-Leader associate, floating possessed demonic skull from the underworld; Murry says *%&*** you *!@** ******%*#$****s and ***@#&*! too!

Randall
      Associate of John, he does the dirty work. Randall would like to thank his tiki family back on Oahu, for giving him love, support and thumb screws. He would also like to thank Mariah Carey. We're not sure why, and were too afraid to ask.

Roseidous
     A Tri-Leader, the one with the blow-up doll, trying to take over the world; Roseidous says “I thank Sally, the Supermodel Clones for all their late night ‘encouragements’, and, umm, myself. Because I'm just that damn good.”

Roses
     A Tri-Leader; the one with the whip, trying to take over the world; Roses thanks "my fellow Tri-Leaders, the Associates, Katherine, and yes, even John. It really was a good idea."

Sally
      A Tri-Leader associate, blow up doll; Sally gives a big shout-out to the people who invented plastic.

Silent Jim
     Associate of John, the quiet type. He wishes to thank Kevin Smith, Albert Einstein, his former co-workers at Eurotech, someone named "Bambi" and John, for giving him the opportunity to be a part of this madness!

Stan
     A Tri-Leader associate, sombrero-wearing, cheese-loving, ferret-weasel, Stan gratefully acknowledges the people who make spy equipment and the people who make any sort of cheese product, especially Cheez Crackers.

Supermodel Clones
     Tri-Leader associates, an army capable of color coordinating; Many thanks to Ralph Lauren, Cover Girl, Victoria’s Secret, and the credit card companies.

Tails
     A Junior Tri-Leader, likes handcuffs, matches, and boys; Tails would like to thank "all the little people. And Vinnie, for being so kind in sharing his wardrobe."

Tyrael
     A Junior Tri-Leader, just trying to fit in; he says "I'd like to thank whoever was born at 9:13 PM, May the third, 1976. Oh, and big props to God. You the man."

Vic
     A Tri-Leader associate, unpleasant garden gnome; Vic reminds the audience to support the Gnome Liberation Movement.

Vinnie
     A Tri-Leader associate, cross-dressing hit man; Vinnie thanks the Tri-Leaders for allowing him to be himself. He especially thanks Holli and Tails for their beauty tips.