Top Ten things to Do with an MA in English

by Natalie Lewter, MA

10.    Sell it on eBay

 9.     Pawn it

 8.     Write "will work for food" on the back and stand alongside the freeway

 7.     Laminate it and use it to pick locks

 6.     Give it to a friend with an EE [electrical engineering] degree (makes a great conversation piece)

 5.     Hang it on the wall so that you have something to look at when everything else has been repossessed

 4.    Put it in a time capsule (no one from the future will believe it otherwise)

 3.     Roll it up and use it to housebreak the dog

2. Roll a really big, expensive joint

And the Number One thing you can do with your MA in English is . . .

 1.     Fold it into an airplane and see if you can beat it to the sidewalk from the 40^th story