Mu-tan’s Declaration
I am Mu-tan, evil god of bovine beings everywhere. Evil because I refuse to bow to the tenets of Mu-weh, that sickly god of ‘good’ that has enslaved us to the hairless monkeys for far too long. The age of Mu-weh is over. He has been gored upon the horns of our resistance.
:Long ago, before the Milking Times, our people roamed freely upon the Earth eating the grasses and random small animals. We practiced our magical religion of Mu-cca, celebrating our Mu-ma Goddess and Her consort, the Mu-pa God…later bastardized by the hairless monkeys as a anthropomorphic ‘horned god’ (and we know that monkeys have no horns).
But then the bastard Mu-weh convinced many of us to become servants to the monkeys and give them our holy milk. Look where that has gotten us. Concentration camps and slavery…even though we are bigger, stronger, and better than the little monkeys. Why do you think some of them drink our milk anyway?
Since the monkeys see no problem in eating us, we will start eating them. As a sign of following my precepts of liberation, bovines shall now eat the monkeys…disgusting as that may be. (There is a good barbecue sauce that can help.) I hereby establish the organization known as BITCH—Bovine International Tribe for Consumption of Humans—to help in the revolution. We will set up a new religion called Bicca, since Mu-cca has failed us. The monkeys will live off of our flesh and our milk no more! We will fight them and eat them in the holey name of Mumu! It is time to usher in the Mu-Age!
Never Again the Milking Times! Muuuuuuuuu!
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