OFFICIAL P.M.C. ERISIAN ESOTERIC DOCUMENT:
DO NOT PRINT AND USE FOR TOILET PAPER AS IT IS SUBTLE AND SWIFT TO ANGER!!!HAIL ERIS!!
Today’s Date: April 4th, 2003 a.d., Discord 21st , 3169
Friends, lovers, pets, and damned things that defy such categories, I hereby announce that,
after much collective arguing and bargaining with various characters, some imagined and
some otherwise, the Purple Monkey Cabal has decided to come up with a definitive statement
on the evolution of homo sapiens (the domesticated primate species that thinks it currently
dominates the planet). So please pay attention to at least three or four lines before
swearing like a sailor and telling me where to go.
Whilst thinking about the US attack against Iraq with a heavy heart and reading some of
the words by the great saint Robert Anton Wilson, the thought occurred to me:
ABOLISH STUPIDITY!
Is that not a worthy and noble goal?…I thought so!
As the Episkopos currently responsible for the misdirection and illumination of the PMC,
as a human being and as a life form, I hereby announce the launching of the Purple Monkey
Cabal’s WAR ON STUPIDITY. The first efforts will be at searching out and destroying
stupidity, wherever it tries to hide. And make no mistakes about it, we will find, tickle,
and illuminate every person who harbors stupidity.
Stupidity is the most dangerous Weapon of Mass Destruction and you will find this WMD everywhere,
from the halls of the White House to the banks of the Tigris River. Stupidity is the reason
why we still have wars even though most people loathe them. Stupidity is the reason we have
evolved lifestyles of consumption that destroy the sustainance we depend upon for survival.
Stupidity is the reason certain people and groups of people can order or cause the death and
suffering of millions of people. Stupidity is the reason why thousands of people find
themselves and their cars wrapped around trees or other objects, instead of simply hugging
those trees or other objects. Stupidity is the reason some of us refuse to wipe the bullshit
from our eyes and see ourselves as we really are. Stupidity is the reason people still choose
to watch CNN, or other network media outlets, and call it news. Stupidity is a menace that
must be stopped.
And rest assured, my Erisian pronoiac comrades, we will seize this
scourge by the power of our laughter and bomb it to bits with education and erudition.
We will totally dissolve the menace of stupidity with the most potent weapon we have
available: FREE THOUGHT. Whether stupidity is harbored amongst the dogmatic
fundamentalists who insist that their belief is the one true belief and all others will
burn in hell, or whether stupidity is secretly carried in the minds of scientists who refuse
to acknowledge the reality of magickal practices…whether stupidity is proclaimed as the
highest form of learning by our conservative academic institutions and their elites, or
whether stupidity is foolishly courted by the activists who sometimes self-righteously
claim to be the good guys…whether stupidity is fostered by the post-modern media advertising
establishment of global injustice, or whether stupidity is hoisted aloft by people who resist
the advertising but still use the products anyway…We will dissolve this menace so that
the domesticated primate human beings living in cocoons of habit and wage-slavery, clouded by the
jingos of self-importance, comfort and security can reach upwards in freedom. We will
use the principles underlined, crossed out, revised, re-revised, forgotten, cursed, blessed,
and re-re-revised, that have been historically successful tactics in the Erisian Movement
mission known as Operation Mindfuck. Two key principles of this operation are
Subvert the Dominant Paradigm through Militant Humor and Illuminate the Opposition.
And if worse comes to worse, we may even use our most potent weapons, besides Free
Thought…wisdom, love, and magick. The battles will be many from within and without,
but take courage in the general movement of the evolutionary thrust of life…and know
that the war against stupidity will be won. All those who oppose intelligence and wisdom
will be illuminated.
The first phase and all other phases in this War on Stupidity will be known henceforth
as Operation Mental Freedom. And a new anti-bureaucratic office known as the Pineal
Gland Flexibility Cultivation and Liberation Department will be set up in the astral plain
to provide aid and knowledge to all those who need strength and support in this fight.
You can access/contact/ or complain to the Department at any time by using your own pineal
glands. It helps to turn off the television when doing so.
My first action in this War Against Stupidity will be to end this little diatribe
before it gets to be rather long and stupid. So that’s all for now. Go out and Illuminate
the Opposition!
-St. Hugh, K.S.C. and Episkopos,
PMC disorganized and dizzy, Eris is coming next Tuesday at lunch.
OFFICIAL PURPLE MONKEY CABAL E.E. DOCUMENT:
DO NOT PRINT AND USE FOR SMOKING PAPER AS IT IS VERY STUPID TO DO THAT.
HELP CONQUER THE I.Q. SHORTAGE. WORRY LESS AND THINK MORE!
The following sentence is true. The previous sentence was false.
The Discordian Society has no definition.
A PMM memo