"And when you, my children, have wandered through the night and grown hungry, you shall behold the holy beacon of the donut shop, wherein thou shalt consume donuts in my name. And you shall fear not the cops and drunkards which abound at such all-night eateries, for they too seek my glory, though they find it not solely through the rites of eating donuts."
-Eris (from the Sacred Erisian High Mass)
<Revelation...
Or; Eris is hijacking my mind.>
Child of chaos, let those who reject the contingencies of existence fight it out amongst themselves with their wars, revolutions and destruction. Let them run around in circles pretending to have found a new and better way even as they do the same things as their dull ancestors. They pretend to be something new under the sun, or hidden in the mythical underground, but they are really just the same old neophobic fragments of humanity searching for ways to avoid anything really new.
Let them rant and rave about how important it is to be engaged in actively promoting discord and violence. If you are not willing to illuminate them, then leave them be to play at their serious roles. Leave them to fight among themselves, for everyone who wants to serve under a flag will always find others willing to play the part of their enemies. Let these fools struggle against and kill one another, for the removal of their genes from the pool could be of greater use to evolution than any potential they might have had if they were to wake up and smell the coffee and bacon.
Pity them if you must. Laughing at them is much better. But stay out of their way, unless jerking them around and yanking their chains can produce some spectacular offerings on the altars of your freedom. These fools think they can win the right to own the Golden Apple, and each one of them vies to prove themselves or their theories or their ideologies or religions or paths or thoughts to be the best. And much of the time, they aren't even funny. Toss your Golden Apples, and then watch from afar as these neophobes get all worked up, even if such neophobes call themselves "Discordian." Especially if they call themselves Discordian.
They have tried to hijack the Discordian Society and make it is humorless and dull and grey as they are. They have confused the Discordian Society with the bullshit in their own minds. They have tried to tell you that being silly is an affront to intelligence. But what has their alleged intelligence really done for anyone? Even their own selves are caught up in the same ring-around-the-rosy dance that much of humanity enthralled to authority has played now for the past several thousand years. They have lost the joke and replaced it with "things that are important" or "things you should be afraid of" and then they say that you are stupid for not taking their screeches and squawking seriously.
Remember that life celebration and silliness is always an affront to those locked in the stupidities of their own hatred. Those bent on slaughter are always seeking to make your lives just as miserable as they themselves feel. They are likened to bullies, afraid that someone somewhere is having fun without them and therefore they only have the urge to make happiness disappear from the earth. They feel wronged by existence but have not the will to do anything about their own lives, so they lash out. And then they pretend that such lashing out is good for the soul because they have bought their own bullshit that reality is just as miserable as they feel.
Their hysterical fear of anything lends them an assumed posture of "worldliness" and of "experience," but listen to them not. Follow them not. (Unless it amuses you to tickle them until they snap in a pool of drool and madness.) It worries them and it vexes them that there are some people who will disagree with their "truth." It tortures them that other people who are Discordians don't actually give a rat's ass about trying to bring down society. (They never realized that while that effect might be a side effect of some of what Discordia may bring, it is not really our major concern.) Let those foul crapscreamers fight it out with their so-called enemies, whether the state, some other authority, or the masses of people at large. Let them do so, and watch the fireworks and the foolishness. It will be a pretty funny spectacle (it always is) because all of their serious plans and ideas only end up being silly for some of us.
Sure we know that children of chaos will always run into problems from time to time from the spawn of destructive order who run society, but let those spawn fight against the self-appointed "liberators" or whatever such ilk choose to call themselves these days. Try to keep a sense of pity for them because if you were like them, you would be miserable and afraid too. And never forget that both of those sorts provide good sources for humor and good targets for illuminative pranks. (Illuminative for us, at least. Care about the neophobes, if you wish. It isn't a requirement in this here irreligion.)
Such ill mentally and emotionally deformed and unbalanced neophobes have had the audacity to assert that Discordianism is about destruction, but only because they have really missed the spurious and pernicious points of it all. (There are supposedly five points.) They hate weirdness. They hate newness. They hate anything that they can latch onto as a cause for hatred. They waste their minds, talents, and time trying to convince the rest of the Discordians to become as ill-begotten and as hardened as they themselves are. ("We have to protect ourselves" they say as an excuse for their psychic armor.) They even hate the Erisians of the bunch by claiming that deities, such as Eris Kallisti Discordia, don't exist - even as they should be smart of enough to know that deities exist for those that say that they do and deities don't exist for those that say that they don't. There is no truth there that any human can prove to another. And the deities really don't care about humanity's lack of knowledge in this respect. (Since it's easier to fuck with people who are ignorant of such things.)
Children of chaos, sink them! Sink them fast and sink them hard. Tickle them and torture them with your laughter and continued silliness so that they will never again commit the atrocious mental failure of attributing to your Discordian Society the attributes of a political party or of some other such organization. The squirrels will gnaw on their bones. And chaos will continue to express itself as we will.
<I get my mind back from Eris.>
What? Um...
There is no god but goddess! And She is your Goddess!
-Irreverend Hugh, KSC
(Driving under the influence of Eris.)
July 31st, 2005
Rant 109
Rants Vol. 2 Index