"If Eris wanted perfect people, She wouldn't have made anything. As they say, you are just what is left over from when She stopped making everything else."
-from "By All Gods: A Radical Deconstruction of Sexual Theism in Mythology"
"Can't smoke it. Can't drink it. Can't eat it. What the fuck is the use of religion?"
-The White Mouse
Just because you're 'Discordian' does not mean you can check your brain at the door. (Besides, would you trust a Discordian in a coat check room with your brain?) Just because we like playing around doesn't mean we tolerate or put up with stupidity. Some of you have gotten it into your head that "nonsense" means stupidity and then act stupidly in an attempt to prove that you yourself are better at "playing" then the rest of us. There are many ways of going about it, but that is not one of them. Acting stupidly will get you nowhere. It won't even get you a silly hat with the word "DUMB" on it. (That's reserved for those truly stupid enough to want to receive Discordian initiations, even after we have spilled all the beans about the mysteries. Besides, most people who want initiations don't want the change that some rituals may or may not give them. They just want the titles that come with it. They want to be able to tell others that they are "in" as opposed to all those who are still "out." Somehow they think that initiation is important to us. Even after we tell them repeatedly that it's a joke.)
We of the Discordian Society are not responsible for the effects of our writings, doings, sayings, and silly hats upon your mind or upon your life. What you do with them is your own thing, but please refrain from acting stupidly and then blaming it on Discordianism. You know damned well that Discordianism is no excuse for anything, whether smart of stupid, rich or poor, fat or lean, crazy or sane, yin or yang, whatever or something else. If you honestly seek illumination and you didn't find it by using the nearest light switch, you need to change the light bulb. If you are honestly seeking some sort of spiritual affirmation for your life, you can find it in the numerous doings and writings of Discordians, but you still shouldn't trust those things. And don't think that fluffy-bunny white light hippy New Age crap is going to impress us. Just because we may be amused with you for a time, doesn't mean we have to believe you.
Life may or may not be fair. But that is not what life is about anyway. What are you doing about it? You are living your own life after all. You can blame Greyface for every little thing going wrong, but that is because you forgot about Eris. You can, as often as this has been said before and you still didn't get it, call other Discordians (hell, even other non-Discordians) Greyfaces when they piss you off or don't do as you think they should, but that is still your own damned prejudice. Before you go around pointing the finger at other people remember what the Greyface Myth is actually saying. You weren't actually thinking about taking a myth about something that may or may not have happened hundreds of years ago literally, were you?
You can tell me "get real" but that's only because I disagree with you. And reality, at least what most people consider "realistic" is just a reified version of the way they themselves see the world. Remember people used to think that women shouldn't be able to vote. They felt that it was unrealistic to expect that women could be able to participate in social governance. But some women fought for the vote, among other things, despite the "realists" and reality was changed. Those women were not stupid however. The same thing applies to us Discordians. Things can be changed, but we have to keep ourselves smarter than the average in order to do so. That means not listening to naysayers. It also means not playing the part of the fool in order to escape "being labeled."
Many Discordians consider being labeled akin to some sort of oppression. That is because they haven't thought out the implications. If someone labels you, they expect a certain pattern of behavior from you. This gives you an advantage because they will not be able to perceive what you may have planned, or what your intentions may really be. Unless you are actually stupid enough to do what is expected of you in all situations. (Though I must admit that sometimes doing what is expected of you is the right thing to do in those cases where doing exactly that will cause the greatest ruckus down the line.)
We may like to think of Discordianism as being without a point, but that's no excuse to consider being a rebel without a cause to be what it's all about. Just when you think you get it, you will find that there was nothing to really get. We like rebels with or without causes, but probably just for the entertainment value alone. Let's not even try to give reasons. And know that if there is any truth to anything, you'll probably have to make it up yourself.
That said, if you find yourself going online and getting angry with Discordian posters on forums for not talking about their exploits and then assume that is because none of them are doing anything in the real world, think again. If you are "doing things" in the real world, as opposed to online, then why would what other people are doing concern you? No one likes bragging, unless it's a Subgenius doing the talking. No one really cares about you and your mindfuck of putting smoke bombs in crowded theaters or other such things. And why would you think that that is part of Operation Mindfuck anyway? Not every so called act of street theater or horseplay has the least thing to do with guerrilla ontology. If you do have a good idea and you want to share it with others online to see if any of them will try it out, do so. But don't expect anyone else to do what you yourself should have done in the first place.
Please stop. Stop. Stop. Stop trying to be like Robert Anton Wilson. That doesn't make you Discordian. It just makes you a follower of RAW himself. Surrealism was around way before people like him came on the scene. And it will be around long after. Imitation in an attempt to prove yourself smarter just makes you look stupid. You don't have to prove that you can think for yourself. Just do it.
That said, don't forget that the Discordian Society's fight against stupidity never ended. Especially now in this day and age of mass produced stupidity masquerading as intelligence. If you don't like that, you'll be getting a message from your sponsors soon enough telling you to do and say the right things so you too can look smarter than your next door neighbors. Is that what you want? More bottled air? We may not care about the image we present to the rest of the world, but that doesn't mean we are going to stand for anyone's stupidity within or without. And if we like being silly and playing around online and offline, that's our business. If you think it's stupid and that you are so much more intelligent, do something for yourself. Don't worry about any of the rest of us. Because the moment your open your mouth about how much more smart you are and only bullshit comes out, you have defeated your purpose.
Now, that finished. I am going off today to commit a prank on someone sorely needing it. It may or may not have anything to do with Discordianism, but it will be a hoot.
-Irreverend Hugh, KSC
(Gods! Who TAUGHT the White Mouse how to drink so much? The only thing worse than a bottle of tequila is seeing it empty too quickly.)
September 28th, 2005
Rant 140
Rants Vol. 2 Index