"Any religious argument against scientific innovations such as stem-cell research are discredited by history. Remember when there were religious arguments against democracy, women suffrage, or ending slavery?"
-Tequilarius Malignatus
"It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg."
-Thomas Jefferson
"Preaching From a Pulpit of Bones."
-Title of a Book
Sometimes I think that a bunch of Discordians going around pranking the blue-jesus out of people, or hailing Eris, or reading the PD while hallucinating about colored animals...sometimes I think that such a group doesn't add up to a damned thing. But then again, who really cares? Looking out at the serious revolutionary groups and the political parties and even the small groups of people who just want to "smash the filthy thing," I can't honestly say those groups add up to all that much either. At least the Discordians can be fun at times (and irritating at other times).
There are many walks of life and many individual takes on life. The thing to remember is just because you don't understand something or think something is smart doesn't mean it is stupid or ineffective. Discordianism is not about what you may think it is. Also remember that if Discordianism is about the promotion of discord, as many of you seem to like to often repeat, the fact that others disagree with your approach is in itself discord. I can hear some of you mentally cringe now. Your preconceived political notions as to what Discordians should do with or to society and all of your other schemas and ideas are just that. And you must realize that no one else really has to give a damn about what you think.
Who really cares about "smashing" the state? Or about all the other tired-out cliches left over from the latter sixties and seventies when Maoism was cool among privileged white radicals? Do you think Eris cares? Do you think any of Her children care? Do you think anyone else who may or may not like Eris (let alone believe in Her) yet calls themselves Discordian has to care about your agenda?
Some of you who are loudest at complaining about how much your "freedoms" are being eroded are the worst offenders against the very practice of individual freedoms. You don't like people when they are different from you, when they really couldn't give even an ounce of their shit about your ideas, or when they simply just keep on trucking in their own lives, oblivious to your threats of impending DOOM. I know there is impending DOOM and that there is DUMB all around, but I don't get my panties all in a bunch over it, nor do I really give much of a care whether others agree. What matters to me is the kind of person you are, not the clothes you wear, the color of your hair-dye, or the ideas you claim to support. The substance of your life is more important to me than the accoutrements. Dare I say that, as far as Eris is concerned, that is pretty much all that matters?
I can hear some of you say, "But wait a minute, Irreverend Hugh, you were the one who tossed neat and shiny apples all over the place, you stirred up shit in the name of various plans, jihads, and jakes in the name of Operation Mindfuck. What gives?"
What gives? Thinking for yourselves. That's what gives. Anything less than free thought and action is the sign of a stingy being, enslaved to the very real possibility of belief in those things that rhyme with ford.
Why do I, and many of my fellow Erisian/Discordian cohorts give no cares to some of you and your serious state-smashing schemes? Because that's just the way we work. (And also because some of you are no longer amusing.) Suck it up and either join with us, gather others around you who like what you say or do and go off and form your own groups, or be alone. It can all be good, if you should incline to approach life from this perspective. Being into happiness and fun and getting some enjoyment out of life doesn't necessarily mean we will turn into a bunch of hippie slap happy fluff bunnies. And considering some of the behaviors of many of you serious people as of late, even the hippies don't seem so bad. In fact, they aren't bad at all.
The Discordian Society isn't here to give you therapy (though we do offer you enlightenment on a silver fucking platter and some of you dupes still haven't gotten it). Hell, I can give you therapy, but chances are, you don't have the money to afford my treatment anyway. (But I am still a couple years away from being licensed, so you may have time to save up.) The Discordian Society is here to make sure you serious people have somewhere to turn when you are in need of tickles, thrills, and all around Pan-Erisian diddling. Anything less than this is merely religious, and if you want merely religious things, you know there are places you can go where they will gladly take your donations so you can deceive yourself into thinking you have avoided some fictitious hell.
Yeah. And you had better fucking believe I will stand here on my soapbox and preach to you about what I may or may not think is the purpose of the Discordian Society. Why? Because I can use the best of circular reasoning to defend my sermons and rants and views and opinions, that's why. Is there a point to all of this? Hell yes. But if you haven't found it yet, perhaps it's because you really do exist to provide some of us with entertainment. If Eris is laughing then all is right in the world. Does that worry or console you? Liar!
-Irreverend Hugh, KSC;
PMM Co-Episkopos, Pan-Goddess Diddling Witch of the Coven of Macha, Arch-Deacon and Rabbi of the International Great Discordian Jihad, spokesperson of slack, and covert cohort of the Church of Eris. (And a whole lot of other amusing titles and credentials which may or may not have any relevance, depending on who you are and what you want.)
November 19th, 2005
Rant 147
Rants Vol. 2 Index