"I need to brainwash myself before someone else beats me to it."
"If you sell your soul for art, make sure you get a receipt."
"Stop using others as excuses to be upset."
"Give a notice of eviction to your complacency."
I have realized that in this circus we call existence, there are two sorts of people. One sort knows that it's a circus and plays along accordingly. You have seen these people, perhaps you are one of them. These people laugh a lot. They seem to be happier than the average. They have a higher happiness quotient. They still go through all the trials, sufferings, and turmoil of life, but they somehow seem to not be attached to that. They are able to let go. They cry when it hurts and then get over it. They don't sit there years or months later and inflict more wounds on themselves by wallowing in some memory. These people also seem to have this amazing ability to make others around them feel comfortable and even uplifted at times. They are truly happy when others are happy. You get the sense that they actually don't want to see another person suffer. The best part of all is that since they know they are in a circus, they seem to be able to know things about reality and human nature as if they can see right through the mirage. Yet they don't go around thinking they are better than anyone because of this. Truly they are the clowns and performers who know it's a gig and enjoy the spectacle in all its tragic and ecstatic aspects.
The second sort are those who do not even know they are in a circus. They act and perform and take everything so seriously that sometimes it's such a pain...so draining to be around them. They think if they make strong ego walls and constantly advertise themselves as the "great" or the "one" thing or person that it will somehow get them more reality. Heh. But they can't get any more real than any other phenomenon, so that is a waste of time. They see the little tricks and shows they create and actually think that these things are of serious universal importance. They try to manipulate everyone around them to become characters in the background of their own life story. You can tell who these kind of people are by the amount of mental bullshit and drama they inflict or cause others (including themselves) to go through, all the while denying that they are playing any game.
So let me use the metaphor of the most obvious circus performer. There are the real clowns who know it's a circus. And the fake clowns who would be horrified to realize that existence is this way.
Some of the clowns in the circus are happy. Some of the clowns are sad. However the real clowns don't mind being alive whether happy or sad. The fake clowns get all wounded and wound up because life can never be the perfect thing they were always looking for. The real clowns are kind of open to life. Even though life may not be perfect nor turn out exactly according to plan, these clowns are brighter and happier, and usually end up achieving success in the most unlikely of places because they were so open and tickled by reality that they are buoyant. When they fall on their ass, they bounce back up as soon as they can. The fake clowns hate the real clowns. They fall on their own asses and sit there for a long time, so embarrassed and hurt...and they think (because they are selfish tards) that everyone is looking at them and going to judge them (because they always judge others). These clowns are absurd and don't even get the joke. They don't see that everyone has fallen on their asses more than a few times and that it's part of the performance no matter how sore their butts get.
Real clowns get torn up and heartbroken too. They sometimes whine and bewail the damned circus, but in the end they know that even this is part of life. Existence here and now is where it's at and there is no use holding on to either past experiences or future anticipations. The fake clowns get all dark and suicidal because they have lost touch with the art of being happy. They don't want to see that they are part of a circus because that would challenge their very sense of who they think they are. You can't be an egoist who thinks you're the center of the world if you realize that life is like a dreamy circus, and when you wake up from the dream, it is still there but now you see it as it is.
I don't know which sort of person I really am but that doesn't bother me anymore. Because I see this circus for what it is and I am going to not only enjoy what I can and do my best, but help others to do the same. This endless spontaneous dance of all phenomena is the funniest thing in the world. Like a grand universal joke...not in a nihilistic meaningless sort of joke. But a laughing free hearted joke. Indomitable light heartedness. This is the true nature of existence. Sorry to break it to all of you out there who think that this life is a ho-hum serious endeavor of epic proportions. Did you ever learn that the only way to the top of this mountain is to drop all the baggage? If you don't drop all of your baggage, you'll never see the top. And don't worry about the damned things. Your bags will still be there waiting for you after you finish your time at the top. You will always be able to pick them again up whenever you wish. But perhaps you are afraid that after carrying the heavy load for so long, you'll float off into nothingness if you put the baggage down. Perhaps you're afraid that once you are free of the baggage, there'll be no way in hell you'll pick it up again. Perhaps you have confused all your baggage for who you really are. You are invested in carrying your heavy load so much that you think it would be irresponsible to drop it. But the universe won't enable you to be so deluded forever. We get old, sick, and some day we will die. Everything is always in a flux, some things slower, some faster. You may never know what may flip you around. How silly is it to wait until that point to be free of all our baggage when you can drop it now? Then if you do flip, or something changes on you quickly, you won't be so stuck in it and you'll be able to land gently. You can always pick some of the baggage back up again if you are not ready to run around light hearted all the time. Perhaps you can practice doing it a little at a time and build up to the point when you can just drop it.
Now that you know all this, you silly clowns, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to dance or are you just going to stand there against the wall because your foolish insistence that you carry your baggage has you all worn out and not energetic enough to live and let yourself dance? It is your choice.
Perhaps you'll want to come along with me then next time I raise my voice and say "Enough! To Hell With This Crap! Let's Go Bowling!"