Every group has a statement of some sort. We have our manifesto, of course, to appeal to the pretentious crowd. Here is the original statement which sort of started the whole PM Mafia thing. It has been updated to account for the emphasis on magic that a lot of the Purple Monkey gatherings have had. If our manifesto is for appealing to the pretentious crowd, our statment is for everyone else. It is not an appeal at all.
(-random 23cluster participant who also happens to edit this site.)

Purple Monkey Mafia/Cabal Statement One:

It doesn’t matter whether you believe in magic or not. We will use magic to subvert everything you stand for. We will dream walk you. We will enchant you. We will cast spells upon you. We will manifest your own desires solidly in front of you through the use of your own secret memories. What right have we to invade you like this? Well, what right have you to invade the quality of our air through driving your polluting vehicles? What right do you have to lower the standard of our lives by your incessant breeding of yuppie children who over-consume? We are the conspiracy that can not be jailed, assassinated, or silenced because your authorities have not the tools nor the means to fight us on this battlefield. If you think this is a Discordian trick or a joke of some kind, good. And may the gods bless you on the day you realize that it is not. Trying to stop chaos is like pissing in the wind, it may make you smugly happy, but it will not do anything else.

We are the ignorant bastard children who have stumbled upon the wisdom which you can never attain. This pisses you off to no end, even if we offer that wisdom to you for free, because it is not wisdom you want, but the acclaim you feel is your due for having wisdom. And that is why wisdom is denied you. If only you knew the powers inherent in foolery. You can keep lying to yourself. The multiverse is not fooled.

Your system of possibilities is not a prerequisite for our actions. Your beliefs will not stop our magical subversion. Your control will not stop our laughter as we watch your system eat itself and you with it. Don’t think you can run and hide, for you will only get exhausted, and we will still be there, inside your deepest thoughts, subverting them against you. We are the chaotic children of Eris and have always been here threatening and overthrowing your tepid syst ems of domination. We have put up with you for long enough to allow you to paint yourselves into a corner. But we tolerate your ruination of our planet no longer. If you think this is a declaration of war, you are right. Occult assaults on everyone of your institutions will become more common from this day forth. If you think this is some surrealist joke, remember it. In the future you may fucking well wish it was.