A Discordian Overview



Discordianism
is the worship (or at least the possession of a reasonable amount of reverence for) the Greek Goddess Eris. Eris, it seems, was always pulling kooky stunts that confused the Greeks (and consequently the Romans, since they weren't too keen on original thought. As a matter of fact, the Romans didn't even bother to get to know Eris any better - they just renamed her "Discordia"). As a result, the ancients had a pretty negative attitude about Her. It was only in modern times (since there are so few ancients around any more) that She revealed to us her true nature.



Discordianism
is a pretty easy religion, as far as religions go. You don't have to sacrifice much (unless you count indulging in a few games of sink, and that's not even mandatory). It does have a few rules, but nothing particularly bad happens to you if you break them, and in fact, transgressions are encouraged, as long as you do them in a funky way.


Discordianism
like any other belief system worth bashing someone over the head for, has its own version of a holy scripture, called the
Principia Discordia

A lot of the stuff on these pages is quoted from, based on, or stolen from the Principia. Luckily for you, this isn't some fly-by-night set of Discordian pages - we have more versions of the book than you can shake a stick at.

This Eris stuff - is it for real?


That's a good question. An excerpt from an interview appears in some editions of the Principia with Malaclypse the Younger (one of the authors of the P.D.) for a rag known as the "Greater Poop", where Mal-2 is asked the same question:

GP: Is Eris true?
M2: Everything is true.
GP: Even false things?
M2: Even false things are true.
GP: How can that be?
M2: I don't know man, I didn't do it.

Some Discordians fall in line more with a statement stolen from The SuperChurch: "The SuperChurch® supports the idea behind Karma, but not the possibility of Karma's existence." Or, as the Great Sage Elizi Danto says, "Believe in Fairies, because they're as real as almost anything else." We here at the Cabaret Discordia know the actual answer, but we prefer to let the uninitiated stumble across the truth on their own.

But Ffungo - what about [your God here]? Won't (S)He be pissed?


Just because you're hung up on some other god doesn't mean that Eris has nothing for you. If you do believe in another God, think about Him. What does he look like? What is he wearing? Uh huh - just as I thought. He probably has a grey beard & is wearing robes. That's not the worst of it, though. What does he like? What does he really really hate? I bet there'll be a pretty high correlation between His tastes and yours. See, part of the problem is that God is a really really big Thing. Probably a little too big for our purposes. We try to make Him a little smaller, a little more recognizable, a little more like, well, us. Trouble is, we end up with a model of our own ego as a God. That's where Eris can help. She can shake up our GodModel a little. Not an old man - a woman, and a hottie at that. Not staid and serious - a hell-raiser. Not overly concerned that you're having fun - mad that you're taking so few chances. Mix up the GodModel a bit every now and then to make sure that someone other than you is involved.

But Ffungo - isn't that just some sneaky ploy to convert the devout of other religions?


No! I'm offended that you would even suggest that! Well, ok, maybe.

Will Eris answer my prayers?


For your sake, I hope not. If you're not careful, though, she will start sending you messages in your dreams....

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