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"I was born in a house completely ruled by Yahweh. As an infant, I have been offered to him through an ancient water ritual. I have worshipped the Christ for 21 years, mastering many of his dark arts and I have progressed to one of the higher positions in His Kingdom. However, my life was a constant torture, full of loneliness and hate. I was convinced that I would never escape from Yahweh's claws. Now, I thank my Lady, Eris, for well-deserved laughter. When I wanted to break free, She sent me help and exploded my mind. And while in all agonies and distress, I threw myself at Her feet. She granted me laughter and poptarts. It all was for free. Today I am standing as a witness that Eris laughs and illuminates even the dirtiest of aneristics. Rise up, there is hope! All Hail the Goddess Eris!"

-Burning Trees, Creatrix of Confusion (Church of Eris)


"Dear Reader, Eris did NOT die for me. So now I can live for Her! Or Myself! Or whatever I see fit! Chaos, Discord, and Laughter are the Powers that set me FREE. False religions, lies, divorce, deception and hurt were all part of my childhood life. Due to the Curse of Greyface placed on me before birth by my ancestors, I was doomed to a life of total destruction. The interference of Eris and Her children broke the curses, oaths and covenants of order. She delivered me from a life caught in fundamentalism, Bible-worship, addiction and dogma. She helped me shatter the chains that kept me captive in the darkness. My hurt She healed and my hate was replaced with the true love of Will. She gave me hope instead of despair, compassion in the place of rejection, and intelligent vindication in the face of denial. She wants to help you do the same for yourself! She revealed Herself as the Mother of all Gods (when She is not in drag), a sometimes irritating friend and a confidant. She loves me despite the fact that I had denied Her - even though I had personally chosen to follow one of Her supposed enemies, Yahweh. (Though Aphrodite may be another.) With Her laughter, She has washed away my sick addiction to order. Her laughter is still calling today. In fact it is calling to you if you have not yet made the decision to follow the Lady of Discordia, the true and free energies of Chaos, Eris. You see, it doesn't matter what mistakes you have made in the past, give in to the laughter and confusion of Eris and you will never be the same again!"

-Max Fishbones, KNS, Shepherd of the Pies, General Dysfunction of the Right Jihad Against Pinkery


"I used to be afraid to leave the Christian Cult of my family. I was afraid that they might do something horrible to me. In their places of sacrifice (which they call 'churches' to mock the Erisian Irreligion), I was witness to all sorts of horrible occult crimes, such as the drinking of human blood (which they call the Blood of Christ), and cannibalism. I was looking for a way out but had lost all hope, because the Christians are everywhere, from the loweliest of trailor-park dwellers to the highest echelons of power. I was afraid that they would use their dark occult powers of prayer (a particularly secretive form of Christian hex-casting) and bibliolatry. Their evil conspiracy was everywhere in control of society...Or so they had me believe. All Praise to Eris! I am now free of that delusion. I have seen through the lies. I am no longer afraid because I stand, dance, wiggle, and laugh with the Children of Chaos. I am no longer a slave to the perversions of Christianity. Now I'm free.

-Selena the Silly, High Priestess of the POEE


"Our family Matriarch 'The Grandmother' had me indoctrinated as a young child and at school age I was taken by a sect of Christianity and made to believe their sick and twisted teachings, their 'holy' commandments. They said that theirs was the only true god and all others are false. The very things they purported to abhor i.e. intolerance, hate and fear, were rife in the order and my soul was made sick by it. They beat me down with their hate of the pantheon of other gods and forbade me human contact with those of other faiths. I rebelled, resisting the crush of the greyfaces and researched in the forbidden sections of the library, where I found our Lady Eris sitting in a corner watching me intently with a gleam in Her eye. She stuck a bunless hotdog under my nose, squirted me with the mustard, giggled and led me from that house of the jealous god to life and laughter in Her bosom. Hail Eris!"

-Rev. St. Syn, KSC (Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Obcenity in Titanium)
May 11th, 2005

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