Mac Jokes

One day Timmy came home from school very excited. "Mommy, Mommy, Guess what? Today in English I got all the way to the end of the alphabet, and everyone else got messed up around 'P'!" His mother said, "Very good, dear. That's because you're a Mac User." The next day, Timmy was even more excited. "Mommy, Mommy, guess what! Today in math I counted all the way to ten, but everyone else got messed up around seven!" "Very good, dear," his mother replied. "That's because you're a Mac User." On the third day, Timmy was beside himself. "Mommy, Mommy, today we measured ourselves and I'm the tallest one in my class! Is that because I'm a Mac User?" "No dear," she said. "That's because you're 26 years old."

Bill Gates and a Mac User are standing in the middle of the road, which one would you run over first? Bill Gates, business before pleasure!

How do you keep your PC Laptop from being stolen? Put it in a PowerBook case!

What did the Mac User get on his IQ test? Drool!

Three Microsoft engineers and three Apple employees are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Apple employees each buy tickets and watch as the three Microsoft engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?' asks an Apple employee. "Watch and you'll see," answers the Microsoft engineer. They all board the train. The Apple employees take their respective seats, but all three Microsoft engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Apple employees saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Apple employees decide to copy the Microsoft engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Microsoft engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket says one perplexed Apple employee. "Watch and you'll see," answers a Microsoft engineer. When they board the train the three Apple employees cram into a restroom and the three Microsoft engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Microsoft engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Apple employees are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please..."

Why aren't more Mac owners computer literate? They would be, if they had a computer!

Why don't Mac Users play Hide and Go Seek? Because nobody will go look for them!

In order to save money, a bunch of  computer users decided to build their building themselves. As they proceeded to do the job, gradually the hierarchy of the computer users was reflected in the jobs that they did. The Mac Users found themselves at the bottom of a ditch doing the nastiest of the digging. Above them, supervising, was a PC User. One Mac User turned to another and asked, "How come we're working down here and he's working up there?" The other responded, "I don't know, but I'll go up there and ask." The Mac User crawled up to the top of the ditch. "Why are we down there digging while you're up here supervising?" the Mac User asked the PC User. "Because I'm smarter than you," was the reply. "Huh, I don't understand," the confused Mac User said. "Allow me to demonstrate," said the PC User. He walked up to the nearest tree, put out his open hand in front of the tree and said to the Mac User, "Hit my hand!" The Mac User reared back with his fist and shot a punch at the PC User's open hand. At the last instant, the PC User moved his hand out of the way so that the Mac User's fist went slamming into the tree. "OW!," cried the Mac User, "I see what you mean." He then returned to the ditch and his friend waiting below. "Well," said the other Mac User, "did you find out why he's up there and we're down here?" "Yes," said the Mac User, whose hand was still throbbing, "it's because he's smarter than us." "I don't understand," said his friend. "Let me explain it to you," said the Mac User. He then took his open hand and placed it in front of his own face. "Now," he said, "hit my hand with your shovel!"