The Official Trombonist Webpage

Hi, this site is all about trombonists, REAL TROMBONISTS.  This site is awesome.    My name is Timmy and I can't stop thinking about trombonists.  These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

Facts:

1.    Trombonists are mammals who DON'T use valves.

2.    Trombonists practice ALL the time.

3.    The purpose of the trombonist is to flip out and play so loud you cant hear anything else!

Weapons and gear:

Trombone                   Mouthpiece   

Phone (for gigs and chicks)

Testimonial:

Trombonists can play as loud as they want! They read tenor and alto clef ALL the time and don't even think twice about it.  These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out and glissando ALL the time.  I heard that there was this trombonist who was eating at a diner. And when some kid said "is trombone that slidey thing" he killed the whole town.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't believe that trombonists have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will chop your head off!!!  It's an easy choice, if you ask me.  

Trombonists are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants.  I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart.  These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact.  Trombonists are loud, strong, and everybody thinks they're cool.  I can't wait to start band next year.  I love trombonists with all of my body (including my pee pee).    

Q and A:.

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about trombonists?

A: Trombonists are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they are loud, obnoxious, and cacophonous, but on the other hand they are smooth and make the best music ever.

Q: I heard that trombonists are always geeky or sound bad.  What's their problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar.  Just like other mammals, trombonists can be geeky OR totally awesome. And if they always sound super.

Q: What do trombonists do when they're not practicing or playing loud?

A: Most of their free time is dating hot chicks, but sometimes they go to the bank cause they have lots of money.  (Ask your band teacher if you don't believe me.)

This is a picture of a trombonist being hit on by a chick. It happens so often they sometimes flip out totally.

This is a picture of my teacher showing off. He has a white suit and too many trombones off EBay, which is bragable.