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| more reece characters (miaow!!!) |
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| BERNICE WOODALL: Royston Vasey's friendly vicar. Well, if friendly is a vicious, embittered and vengeful. She enjoys watching the boxing, telling weeping 5 year olds about the joys of eternal damnation and threatening to bury road protesters alive. Oh, and will those bastards from St. Mary's keep their fucking wheelchairs off her lawn, please. BEST LINE: (About Legz Akimbo) "Some people call this theatre education, I call it AIDS in a van." |
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| CATHY CARTER SMITH: The tubby little titwitch who took Pauline's job and forced her floppies upon the restarts. Is more of a bitch than Pauline, and was later proved to be involved in a lesbian affair with her. BEST LINE: "Things are gonna change around here. Rule number 1: No smoking. I know you lot have nothing to live for but I do." |
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| STELLA HULL: Sad and bitter woman who can't see colours and has regular liasons with her daughter's boyfriend. She will throw herself at anything in trousers, except her husband Charlie, who she hates. BEST LINE: "All the blood's rushed to me head! it's the only place it does rush to these days..." |
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| PAM DOOVE: A shy and charming actress with her own distinctive style. And, no, she hasn't trained. If it was technically possible, she and Ollie Plimsolls would make a beautiful couple. Though our lovely Pam, Pamela, whatever can only dream of such a job as being in Legz Akimbo. BEST LINE: "EXCOOSE ME HAF ANYBADY GAT ANY BOKKLE AF ARAN DOOVE?" |
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| OLIVE: Monstrously unsympathetic interviewer at Attachments Dating Agency (Gay Straight or Bi, give us a try). Is likely to ask if you are kind, fairly kind or not at all kind to animals, which is bad news if you found her in your monthly copy of "Dog's Arses." BEST LINE: "Right, let's get you matched up. Miracles can happen, you know!" |
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| VINNIE: The ancient worker in the local charity shop, except on Thursdays, when she's ill and that Meriel works. Won't take anything unless it has a special mark. And do want a bag for that dear, what's that dearie, a bag, you say? BEST LINE: "You wanna give it to the Spastics, dearie, they'll take anything." |
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| RITCHIE: The hapless ex son of Pops, who was disowned by his father when his family heirloom (the newsagent booth near the war memorial) was robbed of 9 Mavericks bars. He secretly harbours hatred for Pops,and was betrayed by his successful brother Al, who is on the grand wage of £3 an hour. BEST LINE: "Some boys came to booth and asked for a Schnappel. I turned to the chiller to get it, and when I'd turned back...they'd...taken all the Maverick bars." |
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| HENRY: The film buff, well, less of a buff more of an obsessed idiot. The last film he saw was Species which was rilly, rilly gud. He loves all videos, except the weary, pig shite boring ones with no killings, or by Shakespeare, who was a writer from "them days". BEST LINE: "Oh, the theme of the film, Richard III is...DUH DUH DUH...DOO DUHH DUHH!!!" |
| OTHER CHARACTERS REECE HAS PLAYED: TV reporter for "Look North", Mike D, the DJ, Patch from Creme Brulee, Boothby in the Christmas Special, Matthew Parker in the Christmas Special, Mr Hart (Mr Chinnery killed his fish) rocking, sobbing woman in Christmas Special, Chris Frost, the store detective (CHALK IT UP!!!) Sam Chignall, |
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