Just A Little More You Never Knew...
ASHLEY (12:29:44 AM): Your cool sometimes depressive like I wish u weren’t
ME (12:30:10 AM): that it?
ASHLEY (12:30:14 AM): your fun to be around and would be more if it weren’t for him
ASHLEY (12:30:28 AM): you are a good friend and seem to care more than you say but its ok
ASHLEY (12:31:33 AM): you are nice when you want to be you take people too seriously and get pissed off too easily although you have taken a lot of shit from people so now that’s some anger stuff that u should take out on people more than you want to and you should try to relax more
ASHLEY (12:31:40 AM): ok so now tell me truthfully
ME (12:32:02 AM): tell u bout u?
ASHLEY (12:32:08 AM): yea
ME (12:32:15 AM): ur cracky kewl
ASHLEY (12:32:24 AM): lmfao
ASHLEY (12:32:37 AM): see i typed all that stuff and I’m cracky cool lol
ME (12:32:44 AM): try to keep it low key like happy like and don’t seem to get sad and shit
ME (12:32:50 AM): *im still typin*
ME (12:33:05 AM): u got a serious side and it shows at the right times
ASHLEY (12:33:07 AM): oh cool
ASHLEY (12:33:23 AM): yay I feel more loved but yours changes sometimes
ME (12:33:38 AM): u get pissed and agressive when nessicarry, but sometimes over do it
ME (12:33:49 AM): rant a lot and bitch bout shit *who doesn’t*
ASHLEY (12:34:33 AM): that it?
ME (12:34:36 AM): u may have not been throu a lot of shit but u try ur best to help in a situation neways, but u dont try to lie bout shit, u tell it like it is "yo i aint been there i dont really know"
ME (12:35:07 AM): u got alot *kinda* anger inside that prolly needs to be let out, and will when the time comes
ME (12:35:31 AM): ur fun to be around and get people in a good mood *for awhile at least*
ME (12:36:13 AM): *me personally* dont have the easiest of time talkin to u bout like shit with me and him, cuz yea that me i keep alot of shit inside
ME (12:36:39 AM): hhmm... i think thats it,
ME (12:36:43 AM): hhmm for now yea
ASHLEY (12:38:44 AM): yea I used to be through a lot but not relationship wise and I try to keep everything behind me yah kno the past is the past shit happens thats life and I just hide feelings ::where the anger comes from... sadness turns into anger for me so does confusion self consciousness and frustration:: yeah and I try to do the best to stop sadness because I used to be sad like that too I used to be depressing and a sarcastic bitch I used to remind people of Daria
ASHLEY (12:38:52 AM): I got over it
ASHLEY (12:39:23 AM): and Im hopin when u get over him u will be back to all the great things everyone likes n knows and loves about u
ME (12:39:29 AM): hehe i always like daria
ASHLEY (12:39:44 AM): lmfao
ME (12:39:46 AM): see thats the clincher...
ASHLEY (12:39:49 AM): shes so funny
ME (12:40:14 AM): honestly i dont think ive really let people kno me... they kno diff sides of me depending who im with
ASHLEY (12:40:30 AM): I try to kno all sides
ME (12:40:57 AM): shit, im not sure if i kno me. i think i left her somewhere back in my childhood when shit started gettin deep with me and complicated
ME (12:41:14 AM): u can try to kno but it depends on if ive shown u
ME (12:41:18 AM): and i havent
ME (12:41:31 AM): havent shown neone
ASHLEY (12:42:12 AM): yea
ME (12:42:36 AM): its not like i choose to show or not to show its just kinda automatic... fucked up in a big way, but alot of shit is right now 

fucked up when you really think about it.... 

My Twiztid Little Story...


Silently she sits, waiting to meet with him one last time. She’s thought this over in her head many times before… and now it has all just come into play. There’s only one person she wishes to talk to before it all goes down… so she waits. In some twisted way he is the reason for this all. The one who ripped her heart out for her to feel no more. Just nothinness. Lonely, twisted, lost and broken. She is untimately saddened by this all but she can't go on any longer living like this. How is being able to feel nothing actually living? She hasn’t been able to feel, theres just no hope left within her. As he approaches she smiles slightly, then sighs… They begin with the usual wahts up and shit, then she tells him that she needs to talk to him about something important… she tells him how sorry she is for everything, explaining how she never wanted it to work like that, and that even after everything she still love him. Shes never known true love like that before him. She fights back the tears and continues on with how she doesn’t feel and can't be happy and can't go on doing this all. How shes tried so hard to just move on but can't and doesn’t know what to do but this… again she apologizes for everything and he gets a sad puzzled look on his face as to whats next. With the last amount of strenght she begins to say goodbye but can't and just breaks down. All she ever wanted was to be held by him again, be loved again, but because of him and the situation she has lost the ability to feel anything. He gets tears in his eyes and shes like don’t cry… and then she says I'm so sorry for everything but I had to at least say goodbye, I can't deal with this all anymore, I've tried to be so strong but I'm not… I'm weaker then ever. I love you but I can't stay here any longer, I just can't deal with the constant emptiness. She asks for a last hug and hes crying bad now… she begins to walk away… he wants to call her back but he can't and she wouldn’t have the strenght to go back even if he did. She goes back to her house… alone again. Listens to one last song… Perfect by Simple Plan, and the next morning is found dead… slit her wrists in the night… all alone with only Perfect playing in the background. One note saying how sorry she is to everyone but she just couldn’t do it. Everyone seems ginuwinly saddened… and then hes left there to think why… why didn’t I do this or that… why didn’t I talk her out of it… just all these questions he’ll never have the answers to.

Makes me sad to even think… but then it might all be true… and that’s even worse.


~*.:. Lindz .:.*~