I'll mow a fuckin lawn, on a land mine field like wut, boom
I'll roll an M-80 up in some papers, and smoke that shit up,
I'll share a dirty heroin needle with that dirty bitch Courtney Love,
I'll run around the white house lawn naked and screamin, and bustin shots at him
I'll scratch my back with a chainsaw, oh yeah, got it,
I'll walk through Compton alone, sportin Wranglers and a cowboy hat,
I'll head butt a fuckin unicorn, come here bitch,
I'll stand on a stump and I'll let you cut my toenails with an axe,
I'll sucker punch a gorilla, then try to run with a banana stickin outta my ass,
I'll fuckin become pen pals with the unibomber and let him send me packages,
I'll drive an ice cream truck through Ethiopia talkin about free ice cream sandwiches,
(ChorusX2)
What's the matter, what's the matter, what's the matter, are you scared,
what's the matter, what's the matter tell me are you fearless.
I'll let Sam Kinson borrow my car if he's still around,
I'll bungee jump off a crane with only a piece of spaghetti tied on,
I'll clinch my butt cheeks shut, while a ruthless alien is tryin to probe me,
I'll receive an operation on my eyball, while ridin in a dune buggy,
I'll finger fuck a toilet, and french kiss a light socket,
I'll pick up a hooker with a deep voice,
I'll take all my clothes off and run up and bear hug a cactus,
I'll sneak up on slick rick and snatch off his eye patch,
I'll eat a bowl of cluster bombs and spread jellyfish on my toast,
I'll fuckin grease my ass up and sit on top of a flag post,
I'll play a game of pool with the grim reaper and let him beat me,
I'll meet Jeffery Dahmer in some kind of bar and let him take me home and eat me
(Chorus X2)
I'll throw gang signs at the booya tribe up and down and be like wut,
I'll hire Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon and tell him "do me up",
I'll put my lips on an '81 Nova's exhaust pipe and smoke that fucker,
I'll fuck a chick raw with crabs so big red lobster's tryin to get em,
I'll start a record label and base everything I got on MC Hammer,
I'll wear a pink bikini thong and walk right through the slammer,
I'll take a chrome desert eagle 45 put it to the dome and hump it,
I'll go to a big ass bee hive on a tree, drop my drawers and hump it.
(chorus repeats til end)