horses! horses! horses! horses!
Sleigh bells jingling, ring-jing-jingling, h--(BANG!!)
Santa Claus
Suck my balls
Drunk as hell, ringing bells at the malls
Dancer, Prancer, Nixon, and Cupid
I'ma get stupid
Hahaha...ehh
I sat around all night under the chimney
Holding my sack like, "Gimme. Gimme."
I know that's he's coming
He's coming
He must
Looking up, nothing but rust
Dust
Turned on my TV the very next day
I see you're getting paid
Leading the parade
I'm that sniper on the building
Listen to my .9 go 'click!'
Santa's a fat bitch!
Santa Claus is a fat bitch
Another year and I ain't get shit
If I hear him land on my roof
I'm gonna bust your ass in the too-ooh-ooh-ooooooth
Yeah, I got something to say about Saint Nick
Fuck that hoe, he never brought Shaggs shit
No toys, candy canes, just a lump of coal
So I eat it, cause there ain't nothing in the cupboard
So I'll be quick, quick and brief
Alls I need for Christmas is my two front teeth
I got mine kicked, kicked out my mouth
I need a few new ones, could ya help me out?
Should've known I'd get the short end of the stick
No kind of gift
I didn't get shit
Some say I was bad, but that wasn't it
It's all because Santa was a fat bitch
Santa Claus is a fat bitch
Another year and I ain't get shit
If I hear him land on my roof
I'm gonna bust your ass in the too-ooh-ooh-ooooooth
"Ho!! Ho!! Ho!!
Don't go that way, Rudolph, that's the ghetto
Those boys and girls, they don't deserve anything."
Santa Claus, Santa Claus, where ya been?
I see ya got cookies and milk on your chin
I guess you had time to collect your ends
You always been down for your rich friends
But Rudolph, he don't bring the sleigh my way
Nothing but coal and dirt for little J
I guess ya couldn't fit down my chimney shaft
You need to lose some of that fat ass
All the little rich boys, they getting paid
Counting them toys and duckets they made me
I got a little half little chunk of dog shit
I'ma kill that fat bitch
Santa Claus is a fat bitch
Another year and I ain't get shit
If I hear him land on my roof
I'm gonna bust your ass in the too-ooh-ooh-ooooooth
T'was the night before Christmas and everything's wack
Not a creature stirring but a fucking rat
I ain't hearing Jingle Bells, I ain't hearing nothing
Ain't smelling no turkey, sure as hell ain't no stuffing
All night I prayed, wished and prayed
This fat muthafucka would swing my way
And drop of soldiers and rubber balls
But I woke up and found some crusty old drawers
Yep, yep, I knew it
The shaft again, and again, and again...and again!!
Every year I wake up to the same old shit
House...there be no sign of the fat bitch
Santa Claus is a fat bitch
Another year and I ain't get shit
If I hear him land on my roof
I'm gonna bust your ass in the too-ooh-ooh-ooooooth
Santa Claus is a fat bitch
Another year and I ain't get shit
If I hear him land on my roof
I'm gonna bust your ass in the too-ooh-ooh-ooooooth
He got a fuzzy white beard and a great big smile
A bright red hat you can see for a mile
A bag full of goodies and a great big grin
Here comes Santa Claus again......