Let's see, uh well I'd have to think about it,
I might show up in a tux, ha, but I doubt it,
I'd prolly just show up naked like I always do,
and look your momma in the eye and tell her FUCK YOU,
hurry up bitch I'm hungry I smell spaghetti,
I'd kick her in the butt and tell her get the food ready,
your dad would prolly start trippin and get me pissed,
I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fuckin lips,
It's dinner time, we're hearing grace from your mother,
I'd pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother,
I'm steady starin at your sister Il'l tell ya this,
you know for only 13 she got some big tits,
after that your dad would try to jump again,
this tim I'd put the forty to his chin,
after your mom does the dishes and the silverware,
I'd dry fuck her til I nut in my underwear.
Now lets meet contestant #2 he's a psychopathic derranged crackhead freak, who works for the Drak Carnival, he says women call him stretchnuts. Sharon let's hear your question. I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions, a man who can express himself in his own special way, #2 if you fell in love with me exactly how would you let me know?
First thing I could never love you,you sound like a little richie bitch FUCK YOU,
But if I did I'd prolly show you that I care, by taking all these other mother fuckers outta here,
I'd go through your phone book and kill em all, then I'd find contestant #1 and break his fuckin jaw,
anyone who looked at you would have to pay, I'd be blowing fuckin nuggets off all day,
I'd tell you that I love you, and if you don't say it back,
I'd have to choke slam you neck and dislocate your back,
I'd sing love songs to ya the best I can, get ya naked and hit it like a cave man,
when we go to the beach I'd throw some sand in your face and say I'm just playin,
As you spit it all out I'd rub your back, then grab your underweat and wedge it up your ass crack!
Well it sounds like contestant #2 is just over flowing with sensitivity, it's a tough choice so far Sharon, let's have your last question and see which one is gonna win the rights to your neden, Ok if we were a t a dance club and you both noticed me at the same time tell me how would you each get my attention and what would your pick up lines be. Well whoever's the smoothest wins!
Ok, first I'd slide up to the bar and tell you that I can't believe how fuckin fat you are,
I'd tell you I like the way your titties shake and if you lost a little weight you'd look like Riki Lake,
Fuck that you'd be jockin me quick I'd order you a drink and stir it with my dick,
and then to get your attention in a crowded place I'd simply walk up and sitck my nuts in your face,
Yeah freak her with her nuts yo that'll get her,
yeah tell her that shes fat, that'll work even better,
look fuck you I got strong rap shit, you don't want contestant #2 hes mad whack,
I walked into a bar and there he was, standing up on a bucket trying to fuck it,
it was a bitg smelly ass farm llama,
damn dawg how you gonna diss your momma!!