THE AVENGERS
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this movie sucks
I tried to enjoy this movie on a Double Team sort of level. But it only worked for two scenes, and two lines. I'll save you the trouble of seeing the movie by naming them. Don't worry, it's all spoiler free, in case you decide not to heed my advice and do something more constructive with your time, like play 85 minutes of solitaire or something.
The two lines - one, when this old lady mentions just how cold it's gonna get in London, she says that the population "will have to go to Hell just to warm up". Or something to that effect. The other is when Steed blocks a couple of darts (poison-tipped, I suppose, or else they'd be pretty lame weapons) with his hat. Hat ruined, he looks over at the villain, and with all earnestness, says "You'll pay for that." It's not a macho statement - he's serious. He intends to make the villain pay for the replacement or repair of his chapeau. I howled.
As for the two scenes - one is when a swarm of giant, machine-gun packing, mechanical bees (wasps? hornets?) chases our heroes in their car. That scene was pretty wild, I'll admit, although shamelessly deriviative of the speeder bike chase in Return of the Jedi. And the last, being the now-infamous "teddy bear" scene. After thirty of the most boring minutes I'd spent this year (if I'd once more heard the word "tea", seen tea, or experienced any more allusions to tea...), I was treated to a view of a board meeting of the fellows who planned their approximation of global domination, and to protect their identities, they all...well, let me tell you, it's a good thing that "Ant 1" chick wasn't there.
Other than that, no, I could not enjoy The Avengers, even on a Double Team level. DT was a lot of things, but it was never boring.