CAMPFIRE TALES
Send in the clones

  Uh-oh, here's a bad sign - the box cover for this straight-to-video anthology flick says that it's in the tradition of I Know What You Did Last Summer.  (tradition?  Cliché, yes, but tradition?) And the tag line is "Deep in the woods, no one can hear you scream."

Preceding the lousy Urban Legend by a year or so, Campfire Tales concerns four teenagers (one of them played by Christine "Marsha!" Taylor) who veer off the road in a wild trip and, while stranded and waiting for help, tell each other spooky stories over the fire.  Actually, this is set up by a black-and-white telling of the ol' "the hook" story told with reasonable faithfulness. (and a trailer for Sleeping Dogs which, so far as I can tell, appears to show the entire film)

First story concerns two stranded RV'ers who run out of gas (natch) and are beset by fiends unknown.  Directed by Matt Cooper, it's fairly routine, although its heroine (Jennifer MacDonald) is quite appealing and kinda looks like a red-haired Sandra Bullock, except you never got to see Sandra Bullock's boobs.

The second story is incredibly distasteful, concerning a not-quite-yet 12-year-old girl who is stalked by her internet chat buddy, "Jennifer", actually a fairly large and presumably dangerous man.  I mean, there's plenty of potential for good spooks in a story like that, but as soon as the kid jokes with her mom that a teacher touched her in the locker room (to which, once she reveals she's joking, the mom reacts with a chuckle), it's clear where things are headed.  Between the obvious overtones of the story and the way it's done (with lots of shots of her dressing/undressing, etc.), it's just tacky from beginning til end.  And the punch line doesn't even make any sense - why would he write that on the mirror? (I could've sworn it was MacDonald who played the girl's older sister, but it turns out it's Devon Odessa)  Directed by Martin Kunert. (Brian's note - after originally posting this review, I was informed by no less an authority than Mr. Kunert himself that the girl did not joke about being touched by a teacher, but about being caught smoking.  I obviously misheard, and that's a shame because it totally ruined any possibility of much enjoyment in this segment)

The third story's definitely the best, maybe not all that hot but still fairly enjoyable.  A stranded motorcyclist comes across the home of a beautiful and mysterious mute woman - who I, again, thought was MacDonald, but it turns out it's Real World alumnus Jacinda Barrett.  It's fairly atmospheric and both characters are likeable - the strobe-light thing wears thin quick, but after sitting through those last two, believe me this one feels pretty good.  I don't even remember which one directed this part.

It all wraps up with what suspiciously feels like a public service announcement in the wraparound material, although it's nice to see MacDonald - the real one, this time - put in another appearance.

Urban legends tend to lend themselves to filming because the "punch line" is usually more effective seen than described.  Not that it makes much of a difference when you ruin said punch line - one of these stories is the ol' "fingers on the roof" story, whose ending is mangled by the unfortunate use of a personal alarm.

I wouldn't recommend this to anybody except for die-hard Christine Taylor completists (Criswell?) and maybe people curious to see how so many people who look exactly the same can be cast in one film.  That last story might be all right, but it ain't enough to save it from being bad.

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